The necris story

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_Zd_Phoenix_

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Another story??? ARRRRRRRRGH! As long as you're not gonna post it right now, i've already got too much to read, along with writing the TST 2.

(btw Neo, you still didnt answer my question on The Tournie ST)

[edit] you would answer it just as i say that wouldn't you? :) so i asked a new one...[/edit]
 
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NeoNite

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Sorry phoenix :)
Are you referring to Nalina here?
Cause I made up that name .. used my imagination :)
Why not? I mean, imho, it's better that way...

ALmost forgot:

No don't worry, the third story i'm planning on writing will hit puf around the third week of august .. probably..

TST2! YES!!!!
 

_Zd_Phoenix_

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You did know I meant Tournament Story Thread 2 don't ya? Just you seemed excited...;)

Didn't I say I was gonna write a sequel? Well I am anyway, only I get to plan it more now that Im in control of the story. So no more rushed pieces (I had to spend 15 minutes going over the ending in the original for spelling mistakes :rolleyes:)

I hope to get it going some time next week, other story threads permitting and Godly arguements permitting.

I always like to be factually correct to the game in these sotrys (hence the questions about the Nali and Skaarj) but do you mind if I use Nalina as a name for a planet? I just think it works really well :)
 

NeoNite

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Well phoenix, isn't that the great thing about writing a story, using your imagination?
:)
But anyway, if that's the way you want it :) ok sure you can use that name why not? :)

Oh tst2 yes I know, you've mentioned it in the tst thread, but i'm happy with the fact you're about to start on making a sequel :)

Smilies man is in da house.. and you better know it :)
 

Zenda

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Hi. Neo :) As you say you're spending more time setting up the story and the characters. Nice. This slower pace is kind of stabalizing and adding ballast. I'm getting a big sense of getting to now the people better. I just had a sidelong thought about Loque. Already, he seems to be not as real as this lot ... kind of left behind, a bit. Very interesting feeling.


:)
 

pine

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Originally posted by NeoNite

Smilies man is in da house.. and you better know it :)

LOL, that quote belongs in your sig. I've always thought you deserved an award for "most gratiutous use of smileys" :D ;) :) :p
 

Peavey

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Hmm.. Anybody think they could hook me up on a date with Rumiko? :lol: just kidding.. now about the story... I LOVE the idea of the Skaarj Hellholes! And the purple rain that eats away at peoples skin! aWEsOme IDEAs, TheYRe All good! Especially putting Rumiko in the story!
 

NeoNite

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Here's part 3. Enjoy :)

Part 3: Sightseeing…
*****************************

Nyleve’s Falls, a grey ship landed near the famous Vortex Rikers wreck.
Once the engines were turned down, a huge door opened and out came many creatures…known as tourists.
Some of them wore these hyper-tech camera’s, and others simply seem to record the surroundings with their eyes. It was all so fascinating. This vessel had crashed in this valley a couple of centuries ago, it was a part of the planet’s history.
Visse and her companions of course came along on this trip. She stared up to the gigantic, worn hull of the vessel. It’s large shadow swallowed most of the tourists.
Visse noticed little dragon birds hovering over the ship. Apparently they had a nest up there.

“Want a sip?”, Neoknight asked her.
“Hm?”, Visse said. She was somewhat absent minded. Her thoughts drifted along with the wind of Nalina, back to the 22 century…
Out of this Vessel had come a human, and this particular person had overthrown the Skaarj invasion forces on Nalina. This person had single handily took out their queen!
But of course, the poor human took of in one of their ships. Probably cause she thought everything would be fine now on Nalina.. the Queen was dead right? The invasion had ended, no doubt about it.
Wrong.
The Skaarj came back to Nalina, and punished the Nali for their disobedience. They took out one third of the population, and enslaved the others as before.

“Big sucker ain’t it?”, Neo all of the sudden said with a loud voice. Visse rudely got interrupted from her voyage in the land of dreams, and angrily stared at him.
“Keep your voice down ok?”, Visse hissed, “I was dreaming away here.. and then you..”
“Oh”, Neoknight mumbled, “I’m sorry ok… but you weren’t on your guard though so..”
Visse gestured him to leave her alone. Neoknight frowned, and walked up to George.
“Annoying writer”, Visse growled…
Then she turned her head down, looking at the grass under her feet.
“If only Loque would’ve been here right now…”

“Ok, we’re going inside now, care to join us Visse?”, George laughed. She had never noticed the big Skaarj walking up to her.
“Oh yeah sure”, she smiled.” Let’s go.”
Before entering the ship however, the tourists needed to be carefully scanned for weapons.
Sure they were scanned before taking of to Nyleve’s falls, but .. some of these species were very devious and resourceful. They always had some trick up their sleeve.

A guide showed them the belly of the ship, the cells, the main quarters of the guards, the ancient technology. Rumiko couldn’t stop laughing, she was constantly making fun of the looks and feel of the ship.
A human tourist had about enough of it.
“Hey you Acron bitch”, he snarled at her,” stop making fun of this great work of art!”
Rumiko gave him a cold, dry look. Staring him in the eyes, waiting for the human to turn away. But he didn’t. Instead, he seemed to grow more angry with the second.
“Stop staring at me bitch, and apologise!!”
“Apologise for what?”, Rumiko yelled.
“You know! The previous generations of humans worked really hard for this, and now you’re making fun of it! Cut it out!”, the human roared and took out a gun.
The guide wanted to interfere, afraid that things would get of hand. But then it happened.
One shot, the guide falling to the floor. Creatures yelling.
“Don’t worry”, the human smirked, “I shot that alien prick in his left foot, he’ll survive. As for you, Acron bitch, you won’t if you don’t apologise RIGHT NOW!”
Visse had about enough of it. Swift as a serpent, she manoeuvred her right hand behind her back. The famous evisceration knife left the belt, and she held it with a steady grip around her waist. Meanwhile she had been carefully studying the human’s eyes, making sure he wasn’t paying any attention to her.

“So what’s it going to be, bitch?”, the human growled. His lips were engulfed with foam.
This guy was really ticked off!
Rumiko just stood there, saying nothing. She appeared to be very cool, not one muscle moving, not one drop of sweat rolling down her cheeks…
Visse made her move. She plunged the evisceration knife in the human’s heart tearing open the body all the way down to the belly. In the blink of an eye, the human had lost his heart and most of his other vital internal organs..
Blood ran out of the human’s mouth, his eyes turned when he hit the ground. A loud thud, then nothing but the wailing of the injured guide.
“Are you going to be ok”, she asked him while carefully examining his foot,” it’s not so bad..”
“S.. s.. sure”, the guide stumbled, “guess we’ll have to update our scanners right?”
Visse smiled; “Take care of that foot right now. It needs a cast I’m afraid. But you’ll be okay.”
Rumiko walked up to Visse;
“Gee, how did you know?”
“Know what?”, Visse asked her , a little confused.
“Well, about the guy’s foot injury, how bad it was and…” Rumiko mumbled.
“Oh, I have a degree in medical you know? I’m not only the second in command of the blaidenmaiden clan, but.. guess.. I’m also the medic.” Visse smirked when se noticed the weird look on Rumiko’s face.
“You never told me that”, Rumiko said with an incensed tone in her voice.
“You never asked”, Visse sighed.
Rumiko scratched the back of her neck and grinned.
“How come you were staying so cool .. when the human had his gun pointed at your head”, Neoknight asked her, elector pen ready for taking notes on his precious notepad.
“Simple”, Rumiko whispered,” I had a Chagrun (Acron type of forcefield, invisible for human eyes)activated and a Crusher behind my back. (Crusher: compare this to a magnum, but more powerful).
“What, no laserweapon”, Neo mumbled with , obviously surprised. Acron were known to always use laserweapons.
“I like doing things the old fashioned way”, Rumiko grinned and patted him on the head.
“Oh…. Nice”, Neo mumbled.

Back in the grey ship, George was staring out the window. Mainly looking at the large valleys beneath him, and of course the many Skaarj processing plants populating the area.
“So, the temple of Vandora is next right?”, Visse asked him.
“Yeah”, George answered her, not taking his eyes of the big world lying beneath him.
“In front of the temple are a couple of Nali stands , if you really want to buy some souvenirs, .. this will be your one and only opportunity.”
To be honest, it was kind of strange. Necris didn’t really like the look of the Nali home, world.. too nice.. too peaceful..
Yet something attracted them to this planet. But most Necris tend to avoid the floating villages. It appears they have a bad influence on the Necris nervous system.
We all remember the accident as if it was yesterday.. a Necris phayder vomiting on a Nali, and the poor Nali started complaining, the Phayder became angry and decapitated all the Nali they could get their pale, strong hands on.

Visiting the floating villages was a definite no-no!
One Nali hour later, the tourist ship arrived at the temple of Vandora. Extremely excited the tourists started slamming on the big door, wanting it to open. The pilot sighed, and pressed a yellow button. Finally the birds were freed from their cage, and almost half of them ran towards the Nali souvenir stands.

Neoknight shook his head. “Morons”, he said to Visse, who was looking at the purple-blue sky. Although she wasn’t used to sunlight, certainly not to seeing 2 suns at the sky, it did fascinate her. A faint smile came upon her dark lips.
“Well, what are we waiting for”, shouted George,” I’m your guide, let’s go visit that temple!”
Rumiko joined the others. She had bought a Nali souvenir.
“Already bought something Rumiko?”, Visse sighed,” We’ve only been here for a couple of trinitons.”
Rumiko appeared to be very excited, as she slapped her hand on her cheek and started dancing.
“I’ve been searching planets for something like this”, she yelled.
“What is that?”, Neo mumbled.
“THAT.. mister writer person”, Rumiko said with a firm voice,” is an AUTHENTIC Glubu-Wajiga!”
Neo raised his left eyebrow and studied the .. thing in Rumiko’s left hand.
“A.. w..what”, he stumbled.
Rumiko sighed, I mean she really sighed. She looked at the idiot standing in front of her, who obviously didn’t know how precious and beautiful this thing was.
Glubu-wajiga’s were extremely hard to find around these parts of the galaxy. They were small red crystals, but so beautiful, no female could resist it’s temptation…
“If you don’t know, you’re obviously a retard”, she answered him,” and I don’t feel like talking to retards. Bye.”

Neoknight was getting sick and tired of Rumiko’s attitude, but he didn’t have the guts to stand up against her. It hadn’t always been like this though. He seemed to be lacking a great amount of “self esteem”.
He used to be married, and there had been several girls in his life. One blaidenmaiden captured his heart a couple of years ago.. but a sad thing happened.
She had to leave on an away mission. He saw her leaving in a Graylinnz, and smiled at her when waved at him. The mission would only take up to 3 Necron days.
An entire week passed. Neo called the Blaidenmaiden headquarters, but they had no information whatsoever. Yet, he was still hoping on her returning home.
The sad news hit him one early-evening, when he was having “lunch”. Laque, the leader of the blaidenmaiden, told him the group had returned to the headquarters, but.. his girlfriend wasn’t amongst them. She had disappeared.. just like that. That was all Laque knew.

Neoknight felt like there was nothing worth to live for anymore. He got smothered by the darkness and emptiness around him.
The only thing that saved him from despair and death, was this crummy job at the “Neo moon”. Sure it was a lousy job.. but at least it brought a certain stability to his devastated world.
“Bitch”, Neo whispered, “I’m going to write a niiiiice story about you…” And an evil grin decorated his pale, scarred face.

Vandora’s temple was indeed very beautiful. The visitors could actually taste it’s mighty atmosphere, while walking through the shady corridors. On every corner of every room stood a Skaarj guard. One could never know when to expect trouble right?
“Oh would you look at that”, Visse laughed, “this woman has 4 breasts !!”
Rumiko almost chocked on her snack when she saw the painting in the wall.
“Who isj disj then?”, she asked while trying to keep the bits of Gwanx in her mouth.. tears where rolling down her cheeks. ”Ooowh, I really ought to be more .. carefffulll..”
“This.. is Vandora”, George answered, “the Nali goddess.”
Rumiko wiped the food of her mouth and raised her eyebrows.
“No wonder the Nali made HER the goddess..”
Visse grinned.

The group of 4 had made their way to the inner most of the gracious temple. George took them on a boat ride, to see the almighty torch. The Torch of tranquillity.

“Ok, what’s the big deal”, Rumiko sighed,” a torch.. and there are no flames???”
George moistened his chapped lips and shook his head.
“Be patient miss Rumiko”, George said, trying to remain calm.
“I thought I told you to NEVER call me MISS Rumiko again?”, she growled.
Visse quickly interrupted, trying to end the dispute.
“So what happens next.. George??”
George looked at Visse for a couple of kraylins, he seemed to be very irritated. Then he realised it was Visse who was addressing him, and a smile came upon his face.
“Well, now those 4 LAZY.. Nali over there, are going to light the torch.”
George squinted his eyes at the Nali and yelled a loud command. Immediately they stopped meditating and did their job:
They each grabbed a small torch, and walked up to the Torch of tranquillity. Carefully they placed the small torches in the centre of the big torch.
Nothing happened.
“Hey, what the..?”, Neoknight growled , apparently outraged, “ are you having us on?”
George pointed at the ground.
“See that”, he whispered,” If I step on that trigger.. the torch will ignite. Don’t ask me why the Nali placed a trigger here! I mean, why make it so complicated? First, a bunch of lazy ass Nali have to lit the torch, and then one of us has to step on that damn trigger..”
He paused for 5 kraylins.
“Stupid dumbass dip **** Nali”, he sighed and stepped on the brown trigger in the cracked floor.
And then it happened. The temple quaked, and a large purple flame left the heart of the torch, reaching up to the ceiling, making a thundering sound. Visse had to cover her eyes for a moment. She immediately drowned into the beauty of the dancing flames in front of her white eyes. It had a hypnotising effect on her.
“Not bad”, Neo said using a soft voice.” And here I thought Nali were nothing but interstellar llamas.”
Visse looked at him and smiled. “I don’t know why, but I feel like home.. these flames seems.. to possess such an inner beauty.. one I have only seen on Necron.. until now.”

It was early afternoon when the group of tourists returned to the ship. Visse had taken screenshots and motion captures of that beautiful torch, using the newest break through in Necris technology: the watcher. This thing could capture anything at any given time, and replay every piece of information correctly. Didn’t matter if you were using it an overly bright or extremely dark room.. no information would be lost. A very reliable device.

Visse took a seat next to George. It was as if she liked him the most. Neoknight was ok, but a bit weird. Rumiko was her half sister, yes, but stuck-up…
“Where to now”, she asked him.
“The Isv-kran.. it’s right behind this huge rock formation. Going on foot would probably take too long anyway. Days on Nalina are too short.. damn it”, George whispered. All of the sudden he raised his head and looked her in the eyes.
“There might be one small inconvenience though.”
Visse frowned. “What are you talking about George?”
“Eh well.. there’s this really annoying Nali who’s constantly hanging around the ship, harassing tourist, asking them to buy cheap and crummy souvenirs. He’s a real pain in the ass, trust me on this one.”
Visse smirked: “I can take on any Nali I want .. bring them on.”
“Sure Visse”, George sighed,” but please.. don’t underestimate this one. If it was up to me, I’d slash him in two halves. But the little bastard is too quick. One day though.. one day…”
Visse cringed her teeth and shrugged.
“****ing Nali,” she thought, “they better not mess around with this
blaidenmaiden.”

“Short trip this time, Bjog”, the Skaarj pilot said to his co-pilot.
“We’re almost there”, the co-pilot answered him using a firm, husky voice,” Oh wait, we’re there already. I like these type of ships you know? They’re so fast…!”
Skaarj pilot 1 had to agree. These new types of vessels were amazing.
The ship flew over the huge rock formation, and the mighty ISV-kran appeared on screen.
 

_Zd_Phoenix_

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I suppose I can grow to like Rumiko, George and Neoknight, but i'm not sure that Visse has one redeeming quality. Im glad I don't know anyone like that.:D

Can you imagine it? Take them anywhere and sooner or later someone is bound to end up gutless. Either that or she'll growl and hiss you to death.

Lol, she is funny tho :)
 

NeoNite

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Nah Visse is a delicate flower, she's compassionate, understanding, nice..

Oh wait THAT Visse :D

Hm there's so much about Visse you don't know.. :) trust me on this one. She's brutal, yes, and dangerous, oh yes, and she likes to hiss and growl a lot, oh dear.. but..

Ah you'll see, just keep reading the story, and you'll find that Visse isn't that bad after all..
There's a side to her I haven't showed you peopel yet :)
Ph34r!
 

Gamma_Sword

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I read the new one... it is definitely more comic than the last one!

A Skaarj named George? Bwa hahahhahah :D GEORGE?!?! AHHAHAHHAHAHAHA! :D

/me laughs like crazy

BTW, I love Rumiko skin in UT as well! Whole bunch of my customized bots use that skin... :)

NeoNite, you make bunch of quality awesome stories! You rule. :)
 

Zenda

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w00t! .... This slower style - I think it's working really well. somehow I am getting the opportunity to settle into the scenes.

I remember when I was at Nyleve's falls the first time, I spent quite a long time watching the Nali rabbit. Then I discovered fly-mode and flew around with the lizard - birds.

It's great to be back there.

Settling into getting to know the characters better. Nice. :)

I enjoyed Vandora's Temple, too.
----------------
She immediately drowned into the beauty of the dancing flames in front of her white eyes. It had a hypnotising effect on her.
“Not bad”, Neo said using a soft voice.” And here I thought Nali were nothing but interstellar llamas.”
----------------
Food for thought!


Take care :)
 

Peavey

Rattus Norvegicus
Jul 17, 2001
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Yeah i have to agree with zenda, the slower style is working great... Hmm so far my favorite character is George bu dont get me wrong, i love em all.. (Especially Rumiko!:D) well ima go play some Instagib (CTF)... see ya
 

Peavey

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Hey Neo when you gonna post next story part? Im soo bored... Oh yeah, PineConeBoy, cool pic of Yuffie... you draw it yourself???
 
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