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The necris story

Discussion in 'BuF Classics' started by NeoNite, Jul 5, 2001.

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  1. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    You're about to read a story envolving the very cool Necris warriors who you probably recongnise from your ut game.
    But it's different from other stories, cause i've written it from the Necris point of view. This time, humans are on the background.

    I hope you do take the time to read this story; It's in no way perfect, but I do believe there might be a chance, that you will enjoy reading it.

    To make it a official :D:

    THe name Necris is the property of Epic megagames and DE, creators of the fine game Unreal Tournament.
    Most characters appearing in this story carry a name that you can retrieve in your bot list. (or the bots in the sp tournament).
    For example: VIsse is the Necris of the sp tournament. Loque is the grail face of loque in your bot list.
    However, the names Laque, Tchi and many more, the weird and wicked new words, are mine.

    Small update september the 26th:
    You can find two stories in this thread:


    - Necris story
    - Nali skins. --> Starts on page 4.


    There. Enough with the chit chat :) Read the story!


    ******


    The Necris Story
    By Neonite

    Part one: Welcome to Necron.
    ************************

    “YES, another one bites the dust!”, Loque screams! He’s the master when it comes to wielding the enhanced shock rifle. No living soul can beat him! He owns them all! Every single one of them. Even that crazy human called Tamerlane.
    “Ha..”, loque smirks, “humans, filthy stupid humans. They’re all mine.”

    Only 3 frags to go. Then, once again, Loque has beaten the other fighters.
    It’s a nice arena, called Helleth. There are 15 other fighters, sure it’s a mess, and tamerlane is only 30 frags behind… but pfff!!! That silly human can’t beat Loque!
    2 to go! “That’ll teach that stupid nali making faces at me! Damn nali’s, what’s wrong with them?”, Loque wonders.
    Only one frag to go, Kragoth got in his way.
    “Oh the humanity off it all”, Loque laughs!
    BAM! Loque wins the match. Athena wasn’t careful enough.

    LOQUE!
    He jumps out of his seat!
    “Whu whu.. what, who??”, he shouts! “Oh it’s you”.
    “Yes little brother, it’s me, who else would it be?”, Laque snarls and
    approaches him.
    “What the hell were you doing?”, she asks.
    “Well you see sis”, loque stumbles.
    “Have you been messing with that vr-kit again BROTHER?”, she hisses, “you do realise that is MY vr-kit? Whatever happened to yours?”
    “Eh I’ve lost my kit heh”, loque smirks. Truth is, he messed around with it, and it kinda blew up.
    “What were you doing with it? Playing a silly game ?”,Laque stares at him.” A gam, Loque? Aren’t you a little too old for playing games?”
    “Bu bu but”, Loque begins,” it’s a great game, you see eh you can shoot humans in that game…”

    Laque interrupts him.
    “Oh can you, Loque?”, she says amused.” And with what purpose? They’re not real. Heck they’re as unreal as you ever achieving a leader position in the Phayder clan.”
    Loque seems irritated. Well wouldn’t you?
    “Oh can it sis”, he mumbles.
    “Sure dear brother”, she smiles.
    To be honest, laque loves her younger brother. But she wants him to be strong, she wants him to be hard and ruthless. Surely she doesn’t want him to grow up and become a “human like being”! The horror!!!

    “Hmm, interesting title for a game, brother”, says Laque amused.,” The Unreal Tournament, made by époque rising games.”
    “Yeah it’s kind off neat”, Loque grins.
    “My question is, where did you get it?”. Laque isn’t smiling anymore.
    “Eh what are you talking about, sis?”, loque mumbles.
    “Well, as far as I know, there aren’t THAT many games on necron, right?
    And you know you can’t hide anything from me. And by the looks of it, you haven’t been playing this game that long, now have you?”…You got that superhuman aim from me, training all those countless hours in the Bakaido (sort of cybergym).
    Loque starts walking towards the window.
    “Ok ok, I’ve found it on one of our raids on earth, happy now?”.
    Laque nods her head.
    “Loque, dear brother, you know the nr one Necris rule, don’t you?”, she says using a soft voice,” if it’s human, or made by humans, it’s … filth”. You could feel the pure hatred flowing out of that one word.
    “Damn right, sis, I know that”, he says, “but it’s a great game, maybe we can make a Necris version? Oh wait, that wouldn’t make sense, since you can already pound up humans in the game and...”
    “Enough”, Laque interrupts,” it’s time brother.” I came to tell you the great news.
    Slowly he turns his head.
    “We’re planning a grand scale attack on that filthy planet, called…EARTH!”
    Loque seems a little surprised.
    “But but.. that was planned for Necundan this year (Necundan=November).
    “Well, the plan has changed”, she smirks. All Necris war parties, clans, groups, armies are gathering in the Orb.
    “T..the the o-orb?”, loque stutters..

    Never in his entire life had he been in the Orb. It is the sacred headquarter of Necron. Only highly placed Necris are allowed to enter this gigantic building.
    But the Necris were at war now, at war with the humans. No time for silly rules, or codes.
    This time it was no simulated fight against an army of humans, this time it was for real.

    “Sis, I don’t know if I’m ready for this”, he shouts!
    Laque takes his hand. “You may find this hard to belief, brother, but I do belief you are. Sure you ‘ll never be the leader of any clan, but I do belief you have a great potential in you.
    Let it out, loque, use it. The time is now, the time has come to proof you’re the brother of the leadster of the Blaidenmaiden. And I know you can do it!”
    The Blaidenmaiden were the most notorious clan on Necron. The only members were females. Most Blaidenmaiden were excellent sharpshooters, skilled and experienced fighters, and very dangerous. Nocturnal beings, black widows.
    “Visse”, loque whispers.
    Laque looks at him.
    “Visse? You’re still thinking about her loque?”
    He turns away.
    Mentioning the Blaidenmaiden, hearing that word, brings back that one name, this one name that makes him feel alive, yet so sad.
    “Yes, I am”, loque whispers.
    Laque shakes her head.
    “Damn it, bro”, she almost shouts,” Visse is with Malakai now. Can’t you let go of the memories you have, of you and her?”
    Loque says nothing.
    “Unbelievable”, she snarls.
    “Just make sure you gear up. I’ll meet you at the Orb in 3 quatrons”, Laque shouts when she walks downstairs. (1 quatron= 2 hours)

    All of the sudden the room felt big. Big and empty. The 3 moons lit up the room, but loque felt like there was nothing but darkness around him.
    “Visse”, he whispers, “why can’t I let go of you?”

    On the other part of town, a clan of Necris were having fun with a human slave.
    “Squeal boy, squeal!!!”, Arachne shouts!
    All of the sudden a boot hits the human slave’s stomach.
    “You like that?”, Nocturna says amused.
    A white fist knocks the poor guy to the land of dreams.
    “Useless”, Visse whispers.

    “Heeeey nice one girl!”, Jared laughs!
    “Yeah right on biotch!”,Visse shouts!
    The blaidenmaiden were having a little fun across GraviCrun. GraviCrun was the capital of the necris world. Heck there was only one country, called Magran.
    “Damn humans”, said Visse with a arrogant tone in her voice,” the only thing they’re good for is whiping the **** off your boot!
    “**** them”, Necroth hisses,” worthless ****bags, that’s what they are. OOOh I’m sooooo craving to jump in that assaultship and wrecking havoc in the human cities!
    “Right on, sister!” Jared cries and she kicks the unconscious slave in the mouth.
    “Woooot 6 teeth this time! I’m getting better”, she shouts!
    “Yeah only 4 last time , baby”, says Visse.
    “When were we supposed to be at the Orb?”, Arachne asks.
    “Ooh **** right,” shouts Visse,”uhm only 3 quatrons left, and it’s on the other side of town. Y’all know how big this necropolis is, right?
    The other Maiden nodded.
    “So what the **** are we supposed to do girl?”, Jared laughs.
    “We’ll take a ****ing aerocat, what else bitch?”, Visse grins.
    Aerocats are small hovering “cars”. Well they’re not that different from cars, only thing is, they run on human blood.

    Before leaving Jared sliths the human slave’s troath.
    “Well duh, we need fuel, now don’t we?”
    The other Blaidenmaiden started laughing and when the poor slave was drained, they threw his body in the “canal of pain”. Anything organic falling in there, simply dissolves. Afcourse there was a huge fence, for making sure no drunken Necris would fall in.
    The Canal is a product of, what else, pollution. But since Necris are a dark species, they don’t really mind. On the contrary, aside from the canal, pollution seems to feed them.
    It seems to make them more active, more alive.
    A long time ago, a group of Necris visited Napali, and one of them instantly threw up. He got sick and immediately had to return to Necron. The Nali didn’t really appreciate this, especially the one with the vomit all over him.
    The Necris were insulted, and killed every Nali in sight; taking their heads back home.
    Yes, dangerous species those nocturnal creatures from Necron.

    The aerocat slides through the huge heavily lit streets of the city. In every street you could find nightclubs.. well.. there were only nightclubs in GraviCrun.
    The sun never shines on Necron. Noone knows why. Noone cares. Noone gives a damn.
    Necris look weird.
    Their skin is pale, damaged, and they have no pupils. Most Necris have dark hair, some of them have white long hair. Most wear dark clothing.
    There were many dark cults in GraviCrun. Almost every nightclub had it’s cult, performing dark rituals, sacrificing aliens (whether it’s human or from the planet qzuwabybiyan :D)
    But there was one thing Necris would never do: kill one of their own.
    In the entire history of Necron, there hadn’t been a case of Necris killing a fellow Necris.
    It was a code of honor. A sacred rule. And all Necris respected that rule.
    United we stand, divided we’re nothing but a crowd of stupid humans: dead.

    Afcourse there were other dark species on Necron. For example the mandrax, a dangerous predator, feeding on the skin of Necris. The dark polluted woods called Divyon, were it’s favourite hangout. On few occasions it dared trespassing the forest limits, entering the city. But that was a foolish move, cause a clan of Necris hunters would surround the beast, and kill it. It’s organs were used for decorations, whilst it’s blood was useful for the speeders (sort of mini airplane, not bound to the streets as the aerocats.)

    Not to mention the Zugruns, a wild dragon-like barbaric species, or the Fedhars…
    I could go on like this, but let’s return to the Blaidenmaiden, shall we?

    “Like .. ehm .. VISSEEE?”, jared shouts, whilst eating a spam sand-witch,” are we almost there, caaause I’m getting booored girl!
    “Gee, patience girl,”hisses Visse.
    “Wow, what’s happening bitch? Chill out!” Jared finishes her sand witch.
    “I’m sure Malakai will already be there, don’t worry..you know”, she whispers to Visse.
    “Yah, I mean”, begins Arachne, “he’s always late I know, but eh this time.. well it’s a big event, he’ll be there!”
    “**** girl,” Visse growls,”how d’you know that for sure? I mean, I love the guy, yeah, but it seems to me his job is more important to him than I am.”
    “Cool it babe”, laughs Nocturna,” if the ****er doesn’t show up in time, I’ll personally rip of his balls.”
    Visse seems to be amused and laughs. Malakai is the leader of the Phayder. A brave, but also very dangerous Necris commando. They’re known all over the solar system and Earth for their violent raids. But no matter how wonderful Malakai is to the other Necris, Visse feels there is something wrong. Something is horribly wrong. She still loves him, with all her black heart. But is the feeling still mutual?
    “Malakai”, she whispers and steps on the catpedal.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2001
  2. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Oh btw, I bet you already know :) but this is no story thread like the others, meaning i'm writing the entire story, ...

    Whatever my sick twisted mind can come up with. :)
     
  3. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    interesting, a story based on the Necris world. I thought it started well, only the commentry with it (eg. Laque isn't smiling anymore) as if there is a narrator is offputting. But I hope you carry it on, it looks good! ;)
     
  4. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Maybe I should describe the environments more? I mean, so that you can actually FEEL the necris world around you? :)
    That'd be a challenge. :)
    Oh maybe phoenix, i'll see, if it works i'll go on with it, if it backfires well... too bad, i still have my story. :)
     
  5. Zenda

    Zenda Turbo Adept+10%

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    Very much appreciated:)

    I like the way you are mixing humor and romance into the action.

    This bit:
    On the other part of town, a clan of Necris were having fun with a human slave.
    “Squeel boy, squeel!!!”, Arachne shouts!
    All of the sudden a boot hits the human slave’s stomach.
    “You like that?”, Nocturna says amused.
    A white fist knocks the poor guy to the land of dreams.
    “Useless”, Visse whispers.
    was a really nice touch!

    I've been very fond of the Necris blademaidens since UT came out ... it was love at first frag:) Freylis, especially. I'll probably write a song about her sometime.

    I enjoyed your first part a lot, and look forward to the next ones:)
     
  6. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Tnx zenda :)
    Well i've been working on part 2. Eh I think this is a different story from the others on PUf, but the others, please give it a try :)
    It's only 4 pages :)
    Nah make that 8. :D

    Ok the second part. It's a bit different from the first.

    Part 2: Eve of destruction
    ************************

    Laque arrives at the Orb. She pays the “cab” driver human eyes.
    “There”, she says,” they’re fresh, cool, and very tasty. Enjoy.”
    The cabbie was extremely happy.
    “Thanks lady!”, he shouts.
    Laque doesn’t hear him anymore. She stares up to the sky.
    “What an awfully big building”, she sighs.
    The Orb is indeed very big. It reaches into the stratosphere of Necron. It’s thousand lights brighten up a huge part of GraviCrun. Think of it as a form of moodlighting.
    Not too bright. Not too dark.

    The Orb also has a superior defense system. Any foolish Starfleet trying to approach Necron,
    would immediately have been spotted by the WIDOWMAKER.
    The Widowmaker is an impressive, big laserweapon. You can compare it to quake2’s big gun, but this one is way bigger. And you can choose the type of damage it would do.
    Suppose you want the entire male crew of a starship to be obliterated? Simply enter the command. The weapon will do the job. Sure there are many other fire modes, but the Necris really like this one. Hence, the Widowmaker.
    Then what happens to the female crewmembers you ask? Well of course they’re discouraged, for a while, but they won’t retreat. Times have changed, mankind has become very evil.
    Look at what happened to Earth. Once it was a shiny, bright beautiful planet. Now it’s been dominated by dark corporations, who destroy the planet. And the souls of it’s inhabitants.

    No, the Necris simply kidnap and enslave half of the remaining crew, and the others are taken care off. A huge artificial wormhole teleports the remains of the Starfleet into deep space.
    Whereabouts, unknown. Only a small part of the human Starfleet escaped it’s cruel destiny and was able to return to Earth.

    The wormhole is also used for their violent raids on Earth. Unfortunately for the humans, the only ones who can use the wormhole without any risks are the necris.

    Surely Humans aren’t that stupid. It happened once, but that’s it. They fear the widowmaker.
    On the other hand, Skaarj aren’t that bright. The widowmaker had already obliterated many Skaarj warfleets. Not to mention the ychtrons. You could consider them to be intergalactic llamas.

    “Impressive, isn’t it”, said a man with a hard voice. Laque turns around.
    “Oh it’s you malakai”, she whispers, “early, aren’t we?”
    Malakai frowns.
    “Well yeah of course, I mean, this is THE event of the year right?”, he laughs.
    Laque looks at him.
    “What?”, he stumbles.
    “What about your wife, Visse, she’ll be glad to know you showed up in time”
    “Oh yeah, yeah of course.. Visse sure I mean, of course”, he mumbles,” sure I’m here for my wife as well..uh I mean..Uh .”
    Laque stares at the Orb.
    “Uh I have to go ehm.. see you later .. yeah”, he says quietly.
    Malakai disappears in the crowd.

    Loque looks at the game. It looks great. Blue box, nice logo, love the artwork.
    How could Laque have known he hadn’t been playing that game for a long time?
    “Oh yeaaah”, loque says using a silly voice,” the box still looks brand new, there’s no spit on it or..”
    “Excuse me compadre”, the Cabby says,” but is that “the unreal tournament” in your hand?”
    Loque looks at the cabby. He’s surprised.
    “Eeeeh yeah.. I .. it it is, how d’you know?”, he stutters.
    “Quiet simple compadre”, the cabby continues and smokes another FluG (sort of cigarette, but on Necron they’re using these huge bugs instead.)
    “My kid plays it the entire day, 38/12. I mean really, unbelievable, he eats when playing the game, he even has his own toilet near the V.r. machine.”
    Loque smiles. “Not such a bad idea”, he thinks.
    “Strange thing is, his aim is actually improving, you know?” the cabby laughs,” it’s the only reason I let that young brat play that game”.
    Loque looks outside the window.

    They’re driving over Neve’s Crossing, the biggest bridge over the canal of pain.
    It looks beautiful. The image of the 3 moons reflects in the dark waste product.
    Sometimes a Tygron jumps out ( compare this to a shark, but bigger and uglier) and devours a silly Nughok (smaller predator).
    Indeed yes, there are several species who are able to survive in that canal. Life adjusts itself. Life can develop or survive under extreme conditions, circumstances. Whether it’s freezing, or near a volcano, there could be a presence of life.
    Loque turns his head.
    “Beauty isn’t she”, the cabby coughs.
    “What?”, loque whispers?
    “What? The Orb afcourse! I mean that’s what you’re staring at, right?”, the cabby laughs.
    “Yeah yeah .. afcourse”, loque mutters.
    The cabby looks at loque in his rear view mirror.
    “Girl trouble compadre?” he asks.
    “Me?, says loque using a soft voice, “ never.”
    His thoughts drift away… thinking about what’s to come.
    You’ll never know what the future will hold for you.

    “Never forget who you are Visse”, the voice says, “you’re an intelligent bright young woman, and we’re very proud of you. You’re a strong Necris. Make us proud. Never lose faith in yourself. And find the true meaning of dark love. Never settle with anything less, Visse. For it won’t last very long…
    “Hey Visse”, Jared says.” We’re at the Orb.”
    “Are you ok, girl, cause you were dreaming back there”, Nocturna asks. She sounds very concerned about Visse. Of course, she’s her best friend.
    “Uh what, but I was driving the cat and”, Visse stumbles.
    “Nah girl, we had set the cat on automatic pilot, and typed in the coordinates to the Orb, just to be sure. We all know you’re a little airhead”, arachne laughs.
    “Airhead”, visse whispers.
    “Yeah you’re always zoning out, dreaming away”, says Laque.
    The other Blaidenmaiden look up.
    “Our leader is here”, Jared laughs.
    “How are you today, mighty leader?” Necroth asks. She admires Laque. She truly thinks no other Blaidenmaiden can lead the clan.
    “Mighty fine, girl”, Laque laughs.” And how are you doing Visse”.
    “I’m fine”.
    “Let’s go for a walk”, Laque says all of the sudden. Her voice is calm, but Visse knows this isn’t going to be a happy stroll along the “lake of lounge lizards”.

    The 105th floor of the Orb. Aryss stares down. He looks at the enormous crowd of Necris fighters. So many, maybe 100.000? Or more?
    Lucky for them there’s a huge agora in front of the Orb. It should easily hold up to 300.000 Necris.
    “So how’s the view commander?” a loud voice sounds from across the room.
    “Don’t call me commander ”, Aryss snarls.
    “But you are”. A dark figure approaches.
    “Yeah but I don’t like it, I like my previous status more, being captain of the Necris Phalanx
    (The Phalanx was the commanding ship of a big part of the Necris Starfleet.)
    “Look”, Archon says ,”you’re commander now, like it or not.”
    “What’s there not to like?” Aryss grumbles, “no more being captain of a mighty vessel, but instead being stuck on the ground? Wonderful prospects , Achron, really wonderful.”
    Aryss starts biting his nails. I mean, what is left of them.
    “You’re the first guy I heard complaining about a promotion within the elite Necris ranking system.” Achron frowns.
    “Well not really.. I’ll take up my responsibilities as a commander don’t worry.”, Aryss continues,” I won’t let my fellow Necris down. Guess I’m stuck being a commander.”
    “Do you realise how many other Necris would like to be in your boots?” Archon whispers with a highly pitched voice,” stop whining about your “loss”. If it’s that important to you, ask the council if they want to reinstate you as the captain of the Phalanx?
    “No, what happened, has happened”, Aryss mumbles,” the new captain deserves her place on that vessel.. She’s my equal. Maybe even better. I wish her the best of luck.”
    “Ok, Aryss, anyway, the clans and war parties are meeting within 1 quatron. Be sure to be in the main hall by then ok?”
    Achron walks away. The door closes. Aryss is still staring down.

    Loque stares up to the might building when he steps out of the cab.
    “That’ll be 3 hukrins”, mumbles the cabby.
    “Oh, ok here “compadre”.
    Loque pays the cab driver and walks toward the huge Necris crowd.
    Now where are those Phayders? Sure there are 5000 Phayders. But where are they? This crowd is big! And it’s getting bigger by the triniton (eh 1 triniton= 2 minutes)
    Finally he sees his best mate Raynor.
    “Yoooooo Loque whassup?”, Raynor laughs.
    Loque slaps his hand on Raynors. And so begins the Phayder greeting.
    Each clan has it’s own greeting. Most of them are too complicated for humans to understand.

    “Pretty insane, isn’t is”, Raynor says looking at the huge crowd.
    “Damn right man, never seen so many Necris in one place”.
    Loque continues: ”Is our benevolent leader here? Or is he late as usual?”
    “Hmm”, Rhaynor mumbles”, yeah he’s here. First time ever he’s on time, can you believe that?”
    Loque shakes his head. If it wasn’t for his leader qualities, malakai could jump in the canal of pain. He knew about the sacred rule, killing no fellow Necris. But it wouldn’t hurt if Malakai would all of the sudden decide to jump in the canal, now would it?
    Loque didn’t want to feel like a lowlife anyway, there would be no honor in killing another Necris. And what if the others would find out? What if Visse would find out?
    He’d be banned to the dark woods, where not even a highly skilled Necris could survive for over one hour. The nightmares hiding in there are that bad, seeing one would make you go
    insane.

    No. If loque wants Visse to love him again, he’ll need her genuine love. He wants a special place in her dark heart. The only way to achieve that, is to do the impossible. At least, it seemed impossible for loque.
    Once, echons ago(one echon= 1.5 years on earth) Visse and he were a happy dark couple.
    They went hunting in the valley of the dolls. The dolls were violent little flesh eating “cows”.
    Each brought back a limb or a skull. Those were the days.
    Sitting together with her on the blooded mountain pass of Rachnoran, the most impressive Valley Of Necron. Staring at those 3 moons. It seemed as if their love would never die.
    But it did.

    “Visse, I want to talk to you ” Laque had taken Visse to a more quiet part of the agora.
    “What is it leadster?” said visse with a worried voice,” have I done bad in the clan? Have I..”
    “No Visse afcourse not”, laque smiles,” it’s about Malakai.”
    The impression on Visse ‘s face changes. As if she’s not really surprised.
    “Oh, really?”, she whispers,” so what about him?”
    “I don’t know girl”, Laque continues ,” tell me honestly.. I know it’s not of my business, but I need to know , I care for you, you’re like a younger sister . Thing is, do you still love him?
    Visse looks up.
    “I..”, she begins, but a loud voice interrupts her.
    “Necris clans, war parties, armies, cults!!! In half a quatron the meeting will commence! I advice you to go to the main hall. There are many of you. We need structure and organisation in a time like this! Let the first clan approach the hall! Let the Blaidenmaiden approach!
    Visse stares towards the sky. “Sorry Laque, it’ll have to wait. We have more important things on our mind know.”
    “Guess you’re right”, Laque whispers.
    Then she orders the other Blaidenmaiden to gather around her.
    “Time to go, my brave warrior sisters”, she shouts.
    The Blaidenmaiden start walking up the stairs of the Orb.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2001
  7. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    I've only just realised how good the initial idea for your story was, having ut in it as a game and yet haviong the ut story real. It's, well.........good! ;)
     
  8. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Well I had the idea already for a couple of months, hm.. maybe since march :) i don't know.. cause I saw someone talk about "hey suppose this game would be real, or "what if the bots were playing on the computer, just like us.. or something like that.
    I gave it a little twist. :)
    Should I make a part 3? Is it still working?

    :)
     
  9. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    If you don't make a part three, you are in danger of having me kill you ;)

    But I wish you had been writing for the tournament story thread, if there had been a couple more people on it, it wouldn't have just died. Now I'm gonna have to finish it off in three sections just like you're doin. It's not easy doin all that typing is it?
     
  10. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    I'm kinda used to typing :)
    Thing is, I think i was one of the first to post in that tournament story thread, i'm the one who introduced loque to it :D
    But eh.. well the main reason I won't be working on it anymore:
    I'm on 56K. Would take too long to read.. well of course I could copy and paste it.. but i don't know.. Maybe i will.. i'll see. :)
    Keep on working on it anyway zd_phoenix!
     
  11. Zenda

    Zenda Turbo Adept+10%

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    Go for part three?

    Yes, definitely. :)

    As you know, it was growning on me from the start and has continued to do so with this installment. It's building. :D

    I'm also taken by the use of UT the game as a bridge.

    [Pratchet or Douglas Adams wrote a book based on the story of a lad how, playing a computer game ound that the sprites and characters in the game were actually real in their part of the galaxy and that his gameplay was really affecting their lives - I can't remember the title. Doesn't matter, really - you're doing something very different here and I'm captivated. I can kind of feel it going in big directions.

    A few posts ago you mentioned about doing more descriptin of the world ... well my comment on that is probably more indicative of my personal preferences than anything else, but I really like those little bits of cultural norms, likthe trinitons, which have meaning in themselves when given initial explanation, but are able to become part of the wll used language of that world. I feel drawn into the culture's idiosynchracies. The throwaway info IMO works a treat ... eg: “My kid plays it the entire day, 38/12. " ... Magic :)
     
  12. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    oh don't worry, just cause i'm finishing it off doesn't mean that I expect anyone to read it!!! :rolleyes: I just can't stand unfinished stories (especially ones where I put loads of time into them)
     
  13. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    I'm glad it also works for you zenda. :)
    I have already made up the ending of the story.. don't know what part it will be :D But don't worry, once i'm sitting in front of that computer, staring at the story, it won't take long for me to create a part 3. :)
    I was kind off affraid i had lost my creativity.. but i'm glad i didn't.

    Yes the words, the own language, the own terms.. well of course :) the necris are different from us humans, so I intentionally want to avoid using human terms like hours etc etc.. and the days are longer etc.. creating a different society/world is very challenging, I like it. :)

    I'll post part three as soon as it's finished.
     
  14. Zenda

    Zenda Turbo Adept+10%

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    Phoenix: I'll certainly read it.

    I did a couple of contributions but I soon realised that my literary skillz were not up to being able to contribute well enough to what I could see was a great thread. .... but I was still solid in keeping up to date reading it. And will continue to be so:)
     
  15. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Well that's a shame phoenix, don't you think? :(
    I mean if I was on a dsl connection now or cable, i'd read throught the 91 posts in that thread and make a sequel :D
    I'm not kidding. Cursed 56k!
    :)
     
  16. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    I know how it feels, im on 56k too :( and yes it's a shame the thread died (but i thought your posts were good zenda :) )

    It's nice to know that someone will read it i suppose, but it will probably drop off the first page before anyone else gets the chance.

    And I agree with Neo, I'd probably make a sequel too...;)
     
  17. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Wel let's make a sequel, why not? And we'll make sure it won't drop off the first page!!!
    Let's start all over again, i mean look at it like this; the first 91 posts were part 1, this is part 2. HOw does that sound?
    insane? good.
    :)
    Well?
    It's on page 4 know I think.
     
  18. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    Well I did sort of have an idea for part two...but hey, you haven't even seen the end to part one yet :)

    Ill be posting the first part of the ending in an hour or so.
     
  19. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    OK, but i'll be gone real soon, i'll probably return within the next 12 or 18 hours.. depends.. :hmm:
    Anyway, POST IT!
     
  20. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Ok, for those who still care :hmm: here is part 3. Don't really feel like making a part 4.. ah well we'll see.

    Part 3: The assault
    *****************

    “My fellow Necris”, said the man standing in front of the large hall, ”welcome to the Orb. Within one quatron, we will engage a huge assault on the planet Earth.”
    The main hall of the Orb was filled with hundreds of clans, war parties etc.
    There were about 250.000 Necris in there.
    But the Orb wasn’t the only meeting centre on Magran. Other centre like “the blood eagle” and “the Rising death”, in the cities “Mandrak” and “Epsilon4”, held it’s share of Necris.
    One million Necris would take part in the assault. The Orb was the meeting centre for the most important and fierce clans.

    “I know I speak for all of you, when I say I can’t stand humans!”, the man continues,” they are so unreliable, and they’ve caused us a lot of harm. We never wanted this war to happen. They are the responsible ones.”
    Back in the 23rd century, the first Necris arrived on Earth. Sure, they didn’t like what they see, humans appeared to be filthy creatures, and not as developed :Their technology was inferior.
    However the Necris wanted to sign a trade agreement, cause Earth offered minerals and raw materials the planet Necron did not have. These products were very useful for powering the Necris “factories”. One mineral was very suitable as fuel for the ships. Better than the old product.
    But the humans betrayed them.
    ”We’ll never forget what happened on outpost Eridani, no Necris ever will…” said the man with a grim voice.

    All the other Necris nodded.
    It was the year 2290. That is, counting in human terms. This incident happened 30 years ago.
    The humans were about to sign a very important agreement with the Necris. Humans could also use some of the minerals and materials the planet Necron had to offer.
    The captain of the Necris’ vessel “the dark star” had almost signed the agreement, if it wasn’t for a distress call coming through on his com channel! It seemed that the humans engaged an attack on Necron. Back then, the widowmaker wasn’t fully operational.
    An impressive Starfleet attacked the main capital GraviCrun. The Necris were too surprised and suffered heavy losses. The humans murdered, looted and raped. There were too many of them at once. Somehow they had been able to use the wormhole the Necris generated in the solar system.
    Captain Nuyan immediately ordered his crew to fall back to the ship, but the dirty lowlife humans opened fire on them. Apparently they were afraid the Necris would kill them.

    The sad part of it all is that these humans on outpost Eridani had nothing to do with the attack on GraviCrun. They were very sincere about signing that agreement. But the Necris didn’t know what to think. They felt betrayed. The humans were equally surprised and tried defending themselves.
    Fortunately for the humans, the Necris lost. Only the Captain himself could fly the ship into safety, near the mars asteroid belt. Alas, he was heavily wounded, and never made it back to the wormhole near Jupiter.

    Later on we’ll find out who was responsible for the lowlife attack on GraviCrun.
    Let us now return to the present.

    The man standing in front of the main hall, was the grand Necris leader: the Raygi. Together with his wife, SpidrElla, he had accompanied many Necris clans on raids on the planet Earth. He was also a great fighter. Maybe one of the best on Necron.

    “Our plan is as following”, the Raygi continued,” one third of our army will engage an attack on the most important human space stations, near mars and earth. We believe they have some very important data stored there, data concerning their defensive systems. And the space stations seem to be generating a deflector shield, surrounding the entire planet.”
    The man pauses. ”Therefore, it is very important that we succeed in taking over these space stations.
    ‘But it can’t be that hard”, a young Necris yagrun says. The Yagrun were a clan of younger Necris raiders. Known on Necron for their recklessness.
    “Oh but it is”, the Raygi sighed,” see, it’s heavily guarded, and we believe they have powerful shields surrounding the stations.”
    “Well, we need to eliminate the main power core, which distributes the energy for the shields”, Raynor said.
    The Raygi smiled “Of course, and we know where it’s located. On mars itself. Somewhere in a deep canyon, there’s a human base. We need to infiltrate that base, and shut down the power.
    But do NOT, I repeat, do NOT underestimate their firepower and strategic skills. Sure, humans are not advanced as we are, but they’re quite dangerous.”
    The Necris crowd started muttering.
    “Who’s going to infiltrate that base?”, Raynor shouted.
    “You are”, the Raygi laughed.
    Raynor swallowed. But a big smile came on his face.
    “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, he shouted,” finally a real challenge woooot!”
    Loque wasn’t sure what to think. This sounded like a challenging, important mission.
    “Am I up to this, can I handle it”, he thought to himself,” what if I’m not?
    What if it comes down to me shutting down the core? Will I be able doing it?”
    Raynor slaps Loque on the shoulderblade. “Yeah Loque, this is what we’ve been waiting for isn’t it?” he laughs. He almost seemed hysterical.
    “Hm yeah”, Loque smiled. But it was a feeble smile.
    “Malakai”, the Raygi said,” you’re in charge of 15 Phayders. We’re all counting on you. You must succeed, for if we can’t take over the space stations, we can’t drop the shield surrounding Earth.

    “The most important space station is the one stationed near the mars moon Phobos.”, the raygi spoke, ”I’m assigning a group of Blaidenmaiden to assault the station when the shield drops.
    Be ready. I have full confidence the Phayder will succeed in their mission.
    Other main space stations are the Cybriosis and Axyan outpost. There’s also an huge outpost on the moon.”

    The Raygi continued in explaining his masterful strategies. Another third of the army would simply cloak itself, hiding in the darkness of the universe, hidden from human sensors and sonars. The remaining part of the huge Starfleet would surround the earth, keeping the silly humans busy, distracting them for what will happen on the space stations and Mars.
    They will at least give it a try.

    Then the time had come. The Raygi stepped toward a huge console, and entered a command.
    All of the sudden, the agora near the Orb opened itself. Out of the ground came an impressive base, a base filled with spaceships and defense weapons. It was huge. It was the product of Necris genius.

    The Necris left the Orb, and headed for the huge base. Most of them would climb into the Razorblades (fast little fighters, very agile and who have the ability to cloak themselves)
    The bigger ships, called the “GraLinnz” were small commanding ships. Then there were the supply ships, who not only served purpose for assuring the army wouldn’t run out of firepower, but also offered a fine medlab for the wounded.

    Malakai chose his 15 phayders.
    “Lemme see”, he said using a rasping voice, “ Rhaynor, Barak, Dessloch, Kosak, Ramija, Loque, Tygrun, Pharon, Ygrun, Talgrik, Sirifa, Zoljo, Lyque, Cilia, Makrog.“
    “Ok, I’m in a part of this”, Loque thought to himself, “now it’s time for me to prove myself. Show that I’m a worthy Necris fighter. I can do it.”
    Then the Phayders stepped inside a small infiltration vessel, the “Phantom”. I mean, that’s what humans like to call it. Necris believe it is some sort of superstition. They like to call it the Tygron: Silent and deadly.

    The Necris Starfleet took off. It was quite an impressive sight you had when watching from one of the nearby buildings. Little Necris kids went outside to have a better look.
    “Look manji”, the small boy laughed,” there goes our proud fleet!”
    “Yes Dran”, the girl said,” I hope dad will bring back a human spine, he promised.”
    “Mine too!”, Dran said.
    “Oh, but mine will also bring back a pair of human feet, so we can finally try out new shoes.”, Manji whispered to Dran.
    Dran was jealous. “Blablabla”, he said. Manji laughed.

    Thousands of little flies, that’s what it looked like when you would have been hovering over the planet Necron. It was indeed an impressive sight.
    That’s what the Necris in the PHALANX saw. Indeed, the mothership was ready to lead the gigantic fleet into the wormhole, which led to Jupiter.

    “Hey Visse, are you ready to slash’n’hack?”, Jared shouts!
    “Damn right I am girl!”, Visse cries!
    “That’s the spirit”, Laque laughs.” But I do want you do keep a cool head during this time of war, my dear black widows. Otherwise we might not succeed!”
    All the other Blaidenmaiden nod.
    “Don’t worry fearless leader”, Arachne grins,” I’m sooooo ready for this!”
    “Ok , HERE WE GO!”, Laque shouts, “ THE PHALANX IS PREPARING TO GO TO LIGHT SPEED! THAT MEANS WE’LL HAVE TO FOLLOW SOON!”
    The Blaidenmaiden ship jolted and rocked when switching to light speed. All the other Razorblades and Gralinzz followed. Then, there was nothing left, but the serenity of the universe.

    “My mom promised me to bring back a human brain”, Dran said.
    “Why in the hell would she do that for?”, Manji jested.
    “Well I’ve never seen a human brain, it’s supposed to be really small”, Dran laughed.
    “We’ll see Dran”, Manji smiled.

    Our solar system. The wormhole opened behind Jupiter. The huge Starfleet came out, most of the ships were already cloaked.
    On board of the Phalanx the Captain spoke:” Listen up, I want the first 15 Fedas (squadrons) of the fleet to set the course for the earth moon. The other Razors will set course to the asteroid belt and await my orders. First off all, the most important off all, let the Tygron set course to the Mars base!”

    Loque looked at the flashing green lights in the Necris ship. This was it: the green sign. This means the opening, the start of a Necris assault.
    “Are you ready compadre?”, Raynor asks.
    “Yeah I am, but what is it with this word “compadre”, mumbles Loque,” the cabby on the way to the Orb called me compadre, now you do…”
    “Oh , eh well it’s a human term ok, but it’s.. it’s kinda cool”, Raynor sighed, “One of the very few cool terran things.”
    “Oh”, Loque was a bit surprised. “Terran and cool? That doesn’t seem to go hand in hand.”
    Malakai stood up from his commander chair: “Right Phayders, we’ve entered the Mars atmosphere, we’re cloaked, and we’re positive human sensors haven’t spotted us. On the other hand, we’ve located their base on screen. We’ll set down the ship on a 5-5-Q (roughly translated: 100 metres distance) and approach on foot.
    Yes, back in the late 21st century, the humans had changed the mars atmosphere, set up these huge atmosphere processors, filters, making the air breathable. No more biospheres, humans were able to freely walk around on the martian surface.
    And pollute it of course.

    The ship set down on mars. The Phayders geared up.
    “Hey Barak”, Magrok grinned ,” will you check out this baby? It can pulverize a human ribcage from a 15 yagru distance (1 yagru = 2,4 metres)
    “Very cool”, Barak laughs.
    The Phayders exited the Tygron.
    “Ready to hack’n’slash Loque?”, Raynor smiles.
    “Hey, it can’t be harder than Operation Overlord, now can it?”, Loque smirks.
    “Say what?”. Raynor was confused. What the hell is Loque talking about?
    “Nah nothing Rhaynor”, said Loque using a silly voice, “ let’s assault that base!”
    And so the Phayder set course for the human base.
     
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