The necris story

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NeoNite

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Dec 10, 2000
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Here's as promised, part 8.
:)

Part 8: Trouble on the 2nd floor
***************************

Next stop, 2nd floor. Again, poorly lit . Red lights were flashing on and off.
The doors of the turbolift opened and 5 Necris fired their guns.
10 Kraylins later they ceased fire.
“Coast is clear”, Visse sighed.
“Yeah you’d never knew, suppose one of those trooper teams was actually waiting for us, here at the lift!”, Rhaynor whispered, “ anyway, the tensor is picking up several lifeforms, but .. it has trouble confirming their position.”
“Don’t tell me”, Loque mumbled.
“Oh yeah”, Rhaynor sighed, “apparently our tensor is damaged.
“How did that happen”, Jared snarled.
“LOOK”, Visse yelled,” I thought we agreed to forget about that tensor and rely on our instincts and reflexes?”
Rhaynor frowned and nodded.
“Yeah you’re right Visse”, he said with a husky voice.
She scratched her chin.
“Now look”, Visse spoke with a firm voice, “we need to make our way past these teams of storm troopers. They’re hiding somewhere, behind these walls, in the rooms. We need to be very careful. I want you to stay frosty, and be ready for anything!”
Loque smiled. Now that was the Visse he remembered.. ready for anything, strong and determined. It was as if Malakai had caused her to doubt her qualities as a fierceful blaidenmaiden. As if he had been holding her back from a better future.
Malakai was a good leader yes, but he had one flaw though.. It appeared that the most important Necris in his live was himself. Visse understood that now.
It was as if the bird had finally broken free from her open cage.

“So, where do we go from now?”, Cilia sighed.
“Fortunately for us, we still have the g-c image right?”, Jared smirked.
“Oh indeed,” Cilia smiled,” hey Visse, show us the image again?”
Visse grabbed the small g-console on her belt and pressed a small button.
The image appeared in front of her.
“Ok”, she whispered,” apparently we need to proceed to the left, down the corridor, and then to the right.. and cross a large.. room right.”
“A large room”, Loque mumbled,” that doesn’t sound very good.”
“Wait a triniton”, Rhaynor whispered,” look at the image, there are only 5 rooms on this floor.”
Jared raised her eyebrows.
“It’s a pretty big floor”, she sighed,” and only that many rooms?”
“Apparently the other end of the corridor is another dead end”, Visse continued,” so we have no other choice but to proceed to the left.”
Visse shut down the g-console and put it back on her belt.
“O.k., let’s move it”, she whispered. And the group of 6 made their way through the poorly lit corridor.”

“Yes!”, Aryss yelled,” that was the last one!”
He had finally taken out all the snipers behind the barricade.
“Whew”, he sighed,” this took me longer than I thought would.”
“Good work sir”, a young soldier shouted.
The large lasercannon had fired at a squad of Razors again.
“Now to take out that annoying lasercannon”, Aryss yelled,” all troops, proceed to the barricade!”
The first Necris soldiers jumped from behind the debris, but then it happened.
A loud cry, a soldier reduced to little gibs.
Aryss’ face turned green. He was shocked! This couldn’t be happening!
“Retreat!”, he yelled at the soldiers,” retreat now!!”
Only 5 made it back.
“What is it sir”, a member of the Vultron clan asked him.
“They.. they..”, Aryss stumbled,” they.. they’ve got…. Enhanced shock rifles!!!”

“Bah”, Visse snarled,” only 3 this time.”
“Took us only 1 triniton to take them out”, Loque whispered,” this doesn’t feel right.”
“Yeah”, Rhaynor sighed,” things are way to easy up here.”
“It is as if they want us to reach that large room”, Jared growled.
Visse frowned. A worried look came on her face.
“It’s a trap of course”, she whispered.
“Well yes”, Cilia answered ,” we do realise that.”
“Ok”, Visse said with a hoarse voice”, but what about Laque her team?”
Loque swallowed.
“I.. I’ll try contacting them”, he stumbled. He couldn’t imagine anything bad had happened to his sister, but you’d never know!
He typed in a code, trying to open a com channel, hoping someone would answer his call.
Nothing happened.
Loque tried again. But still, nothing happened.
“Oh ****ing ****!”, he yelled and kicked the wall.
“Maybe their com channel is disturbed, maybe they’re experiencing intereference..”, Visse whispered. She tried calming him down.
“Maybe”, Loque sighed,” I really hope so. Suppose they were ambushed in that large room?
What if they’re killed, every single one of them.. Laque as well?”
“Look Loque”, Visse whispered,” don’t think about that ok? They do have a g-console image right? Like we do ? So, they were prepared. Maybe they’re just cut off , and trying to establish a link with us, open a com channel ?”
“I h..ho..hope so Visse,” Loque stumbled.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’re fine”,Visse laughed,” Laque is one of the strongest Necris I know. And her team members are pretty good as well. They’re fine. Now come on, we need to keep on moving.”
Rhaynor put his arm on loque’s shoulder. “Yeah c’mon compadre”, he smiled, “the lady is right, let’s go”.

10 scary trinitons later, the team arrived at the large room. The doors were opened. A small ray of light came through.
“Well c’mon then”, Jared whispered,” what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”
“Okay”, Visse whispered back.
Carefully one of the Necris stepped into the large room. The others followed, looking at all directions.
“This room is HUGE”, Rhaynor sighed.
Indeed it was. The Necris were standing in a large console room, crates to the left and right, and several storm troopers outfits on the left wall. The entire room measured up to 50 metres in length and 30 metres in width.
“Look at all those crates”, Nocturna whispered.
“Perfect for an ambush”, Visse said with a husky voice and shouldered her gun.
“Be prepared”, she continued,” we might be walking into a trap!”
The Necris walked through the room, as silently as they could. Jared and Tchi checked out the left side of the room whilst Nocturna and Cilia roamed the right side. Loque, Rhaynor and Visse strolled between the large consoles standing in the middle of the room.
“Not of any use to us”, Visse mumbled,” these things are broken.”
“Broken”, Loque whispered,” well afcourse, look at the date.. 2299. These consoles are over 60 terran years old. Wasted I’d say.”
“This probably is a room for stocking old materials they might want to .. re-use?”, Rhaynor smiled.
“Could be”, Visse smirked,” humans are really weird.”

Cilia arrived at the other end of the room. A metallic door appeared to be opened.
“Hey compadres”, he yelled towards the other Necris,” I’m at the end of the room.”
“We’re almost there”, Visse shouted back,” we’re not that far away.”
“Ok”, Cilia shouted back.
“I don’t like this”, Nocturna whispered,” why are all the doors open?”
“Heck I expected a trap in this room”, Cilia sighed, “maybe they’re testing us?”
“Testing us”, Nocturna laughed.
She frowned.
“Maybe ..” but Nocturna couldn’t finish her sentence, a trapdoor opened beneath her and she disappeared into the hole. Cilia tried to rescue her, but he fell in as well.
When the other Necris arrived, they didn’t know what to think.
“Where .. where are Cilia and Nocturna?”, Loque stumbled.
“Damn, what happened”, Visse hissed,” one moment I hear Cilia’s voice, and a couple of Kraylins later he’s gone, and so is Nocturna!”
Visse shook her head.
“We better stick together from now on”, she sighed, “shoulder your gun, we’re proceeding through this door.”
Carefully they opened the door.

Aryss wiped the sweat from his face.
“How many losses?”, he sighed.
“20 so far”, a young soldier growled,” .. those human cowards!”
“Well, I would prefer to call them sneaky bastards”, Aryss said with a grim voice,
“Apparently they had something up their sleeve we weren’t expecting”.
“Yes, I thought we had stolen all their ESR’s ?”, the soldier sighed.
“Guess not compadre”, Aryss mumbled.
“What are we going to do know sir”. The soldier’s voice sounded desperate.
“Open a com channel to the Phalanx”, Aryss whispered.

Space. The Phalanx was still orbiting earth.
“Sir”, a tech cried to Zenith,” an incoming message from Aryss.”
“Put him through!”, Zenith said with a quiet voice.
“Go ahead commander.”
“Captain”, Aryss spoke,” we have a problem on our hands!”
Zenith frowned. She had never heard Aryss sound like this… confused and worried.
“What is it, commander?”, she whispered.
“The humans are using ESR’s!, he cried.

Zenith fell back in her chair.
“Tell me you’re joking”, she sighed.
“No captain”, Aryss shouted. Nearby another Razor crashed.
“I.. I think this calls for the executioner?”
“The executioner..”, Zenith whispered,” but we’re not sure if this thing is stable enough to use in the field. We brought with us, in case of .. but we never expected..”
“Oh ****”, Aryss mumbled,” we were foolish not to bring back any ESR’s!!!
All of the sudden Zenith jumped out of her chair.
“Wait a minute”, she laughed,” ok, maybe the army didn’t think of it, but I always have my ESR with me. It’s right in my quarters, in the top drawer of my closet.”
“Only one rifle”, Aryss sighed, “what good will this do?”
“I do believe you have a good aim, commander?”, Zenith smiled.
“Yes I do”, Aryss sighed, “ I took out 15 snipers a while ago, but I’m out of ammo, and.. our supplies are shrinking fast.. the humans are constantly changing position…”
Zenith interrupted him.
“I’m sending JiggaR down with the rifle”, she smiled, “and in the mean time, we’ll check if the executioner is save to use in the field, or not…”
Aryss nodded and sighed again.
“Ok, thanks Zenith”, he smiled,” I know, once I have the executioner, the humans won’t stand a chance. But this ESR will keep do the job in the meantime. When will it arrive?”
“Within 15 trinitons”, Zenith said with a firm voice and ordered JiggaR to collect the weapon from her quarters and take of to earth in a Razor.”
“JiggaR is a fine pilot and a trained scout”, she whispered,” she’ll bring you the rifle”.
“What can I say, captain”, Aryss laughed,” I’ll be expecting her. Aryss out.”
Zenith closed the com channel and ordered 5 techs to check out the executioner.

“Are you picking up any signals from team 5”, Visse whispered.
“No, nothing..”, Loque sighed. He closed his com channel.
“So that means”, Rhaynor said with a hoarse voice,” that we’re the only ones left?”
“The others..”, Jared whispered,” they .. they can’t be dead... right?”
Tchi looked at her. He had a sad look on his face.
“What if they are?”, he said in a whining manner.
Visse pressed her lips together and slammed the wall.
“What if, what if?”, she cried,” enough with these assumptions. Maybe they are, but what if they’re not? What if they’re in need for our help? We can just stand here and give up...right?”
“I.. I. Ne…never mentioned giving up”, Rhaynor stumbled.
“Well ok then”, Visse hissed, “so.. are we just going to keep standing here and look silly?”
“She’s right”, Jared shouted,” on to the next floor!! The turbolift is probably around the corner!”
“No it’s not Jared”, Rhaynor smiled,” we’re standing right in front of it”.
“Oh oh yes oh heh”, she stumbled,” .. got to excuse me.. the strain..”
Rhaynor smirked. “I understand.”
“I wonder”, Tchi said with a heavy voice,” what could be waiting for us on the 3rd floor?”
“Only one way to find out compadre”, Loque whispered and stepped in the turbolift.
“Wait!”, Visse yelled,” what if there are more of those troopers on top of the lift?”
Loque grinned:” Well, it’s your turn this time.. go ahead, perforate the damn thing.”
Visse smiled and turned the ceiling of the turbolift into a “swish cheese”.
“Whew”, she sighed and whipped the sweat and dust of her forehead, “ I guess the coast is clear.”
All of the sudden a rat fell through the ceiling. The poor thing had been turned into a leaky piece of meat.
“Nice going girl”, Jared laughed.
“Yeah, that rat won’t hurt anyone anymore”, Rhaynor jested.
“Oh do shut up”, Visse said with a husky voice but she had to agree, it was kind off funny.
The team stepped into the turbolift. The doors closed and the lift took off.

A Necris came running up the hall.
“No wait!”, the man shouted,” wait for me!”
It was Barak, from team 5. Like a madman he smashed upon the buttons of the on the control panel, trying to make the damn thing turn around and descend...
No use. It wouldn’t work.
“Oh ****,” he cried,” It’s too late..”
Barak took a step back, shook his head and ran down the hall, making his way back to the sewers. He had to warn the other necris!
 

NeoNite

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Dec 10, 2000
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ps zenda, as you can see on page 2, i've scaled the image down, it's now at a more reasonable size and you can still read the text.
It's still at 21 kb tough.. saved the image at a jpeg quality of 7.. :hmm:
 

_Zd_Phoenix_

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Nice to see the necris scum dieing ;) very good as usual. Makes me wonder what 'the executioner' is..... I hope to see more from this thread soon, and whatever is to come after that :D

Oh, I posted the next part of the Tournament Story Thread for those few who are interested.
 

Zenda

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This isn't letting up at all! Waiting for the ESR, Is Loque's sister and Co alive, What's this executionaer? Whats with the lift and the need to warn the others?

w00t! :D

One of the things I like about the Necriscentricity is that some of the 'human' characteristics stand out in bolder relief than they would have otherwize.
---------------------------
What if they’re in need for our help? We can just stand here and give up...right?”
“I.. I. Ne…never mentioned giving up”, Rhaynor stumbled.
“Well ok then”, Visse hissed, “so.. are we just going to keep standing here and look silly?”
----------------------------


looking forward to the next part:)






Now then, your re-sized sig .... I'm going to pop over to the other page. Would you like me to copy it, do some KB reduction and put them up in place of the ones I did last night?
 

NeoNite

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I feel so silly for asking this :/
I need some webspace to upload the image to, mentioned i'm a noob when it comes to html, so I can put it in my signature.
(pimping the "necris story" until the end of time :D)
I can't let this story die, this my first story on puf! :D
 

Zenda

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Originally posted by NeoNite
ps zenda, as you can see on page 2, i've scaled the image down, it's now at a more reasonable size and you can still read the text.
It's still at 21 kb tough.. saved the image at a jpeg quality of 7.. :hmm:
I've had a look on page 2 ... I don't think I've been able to find your modified version ... what I found was the one which was the same size and 30KB ... I'm going to potter about a while, refresh a few times, then come back. .... my pages sometimes remain out of date longer than they should.
 

NeoNite

Starsstream
Dec 10, 2000
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In a stream of stars
Well I'm sure i've replaced the old version with the new one

... makes sense :D

Eh, here's a Necris version, at 16 kb :rolleyes:
Hey i'm only having fun here. I'm not being serious!

:)
 

NeoNite

Starsstream
Dec 10, 2000
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Oh i've almost forgot!!!

PAGE 3! WEEEEEEEE! :D

Serious: A week ago, i had never expected this thing to .. you know.. "take off".. thought it was going to die..
But thanks to phoenix and zenda, it didn't :D
Tnx guys!
And there's still more to come!!!

page 4, 5, 10, 20,30 :D

kidding :)
 

NeoNite

Starsstream
Dec 10, 2000
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What? THis thread has fallen back to page 3?
ingrates!
:D

Ok, here's part 9.
...
:)

Part 9: The third floor…
*********************

“Oh yuck”, Jared cried, “ Bright lights! Bright lights! Somebody take them out!”
Loque aimed his gun towards a couple of lamps at the ceiling.
He took out 5, and the corridor was filled with a certain moodlighting now.
“Better?”, he asked Jared.
“Whew”, she sighed, “ muuuuuch better!”
Rhaynor saw the lift doors closing, and walked toward Visse.
“Well”, he said with a cheesy voice,” where do we go from here, leader?”
He smiled at her.
Visse grinned.
“Why thanks Rhaynor”.
It sure had a nice ring to it, being called leader. This was her moment in the spotlights.
And of course, she was doing a great job. But she did realise she could never be as good as her clanleader and close friend Laque.
She took out the g-console again.
“Let me see.. there are 4 .. yes 4 rooms on this floorrr.. aaaand.. you know... this is strange.”
She paused for a moment.
“There’s only one room on the top floor. One big room.”
“Who knows what is up there”, Tchi hissed. He was really starting to get more unstable, the strain was getting to him.”
Visse did notice it and studied the look on his face… cringed teeth, eyes wide open and constantly switching from the left to the right, his hands cramped around the gun…an itchy trigger finger.”
“We don’t know Tchi”, she answered him. She stared him in the eyes and frowned.
“Are you doing fine. If you’re having trouble coping with this, don’t hesitate to tell me.. and don’t forget, you’re not alone on this.. we’re a team. Right?”
The other Necris nodded.
Tchi felt a drop of sweat rolling down his cheek.
“I’m sorry Visse”, he almost cried,” this is all happening so fast, there are only 5 of us left.. we don’t know what’s on this floor… another ambush.. we don’t know how many of us will make it to the next floor.”
Visse sighed.
“I understand how you’re feeling Tchi. But look, you don’t have to worry. We’ll make it out of here. Yes there are only five of us left, but we have come this far… we need to find the one responsible for killing our fellow Necris ok?”
Tchi wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“NO”, he yelled and all of the sudden he putted the gun against his temple.
A blast from a gun, a short loud yell, an exploding head, blood staining the uniforms of the other necris and gibs flying all over the place!!!!

“Tchi, are you still with me”, Visse whispered. The look on her face had changed to a worried one.
Tchi swallowed a couple of times and a poor smile came on his lips.
“I’m .. with you guys”, he answered her.
“Ok, .. we’ll have to move now”, Visse smiled,” we have your back.”
Tchi smiled back and stepped toward Rhaynor and Jared.
Visse looked at Loque and sighed.
“This is bad,” she said to him,” he’s losing it.”
“We’ll have to watch him closely”, Loque whispered.” What if he goes bananas when we encounter another team of storm troopers?”
“You watch his back”, Visse ordered Loque.
“Me?”, Loque said with a surprised voice.
“Yes, you’re stable and you’re the quickest team member. Not to forget, you have a great aim.”
“Thanks to my sister”, Loque sighed.
“We’ll find her Loque”, Visse said with a soft voice,” now come on, no point in standing around like this anymore.. we have to move.”

A large TL lamp in the right wall lit up the next part of the corridor. It ‘s constant buzzing would annoy anyone walking down there. Why you ask me, didn’t they do something about that buzzing? My guess is, humans didn’t seem to care. If the light works, it’s fine by them. Even if it’s making one of the most annoying sounds ever!
Necris never seemed to understand humans.
It was as if the boundaries of their stupidity had not been discovered yet!

“Look, on the floor”, Rhaynor quickly yelled.
It was a storm trooper. The body seemed dead. It wasn’t moving. But it could be a decoy!
Loque took his gun and perforated the human.
A pool of yellow fluid appeared on the floor; surrounding the trooper.
Rhaynor frowned and scratched his nose.
“Eh my knowledge of the human body is somewhat limited”, he began,” but don’t humans have red blood?”
“Yes they do”, Loque answered and stepped towards the body. He gave it a kick.
“He’s already dead you know?”, Jared jested.
Loque kneeled down and noticed marks on the troopers’ uniform.
“I know, but I enjoy kicking corpses.”
“Look at this”, he continued.
The other Necris gathered around him.
“What is it Loque”, Rhaynor whispered.
“Look at these marks”, Loque said with a husky voice,” this man must’ve been lying here for a couple of terran days.”
“Are you kidding me?”, Rhaynor said with a surprised look on his face.
He knew the humans were filthy rats, but he never expected them leaving their dead behind like that, rotting on the floor of a building.”
Visse took out the G-console.
“What are you doing”, Jared asked Visse . Jared took a deep breath and wiped the white hair out of her eyes.
“Some of you may not know this”, Visse began,” but a g-console can also examine matter and give us an idea of what this yellow.. fluid is”.
Visse bowed down and put the device in the fluid. A soft humming sound came from the g-console.
“So what the device is doing right know.. is absorbing a small portion of the fluid.. and analysing it. Should only take up to 2 trinitons.”

All of the sudden Rhaynor became aware of the fact that Tchi was missing.
“He’s gone!” Rhaynor was baffled. Only one triniton ago he had been watching him, then he gathered around Loque to look at the dead trooper, expecting Tchi doing the same thing…
“Tchi is gone????”, Jared cried, “oh **** how did that happen?”
“I don’t know!”, Rhaynor yelled back!
“Necris!”, Visse shouted, “calm down. This is very strange indeed, but panic isn’t going to get us ANYWHERE! Do you understand?”
Rhaynor sighed and nodded. Jared shook her head. But all of the sudden she saw Tchi’s gun lying on the floor, near a rusty door.
“There, that’s Tchi’s gun’, she yelled,” he must have gone through there.”
Visse studied the floor.
“Can’t be”, she mumbled,” he’s been dragged through there, look at the floor!”
And indeed, the others saw the signs of a body being dragged along the floor, through the door. No signs of blood however.

“This **** is getting freakier by the triniton”, Jared hissed.
“We need to make our way through that door”, Visse whispered.
“Oh c’mon”, Jared complained,” what if they’re waiting for us in there, with oh say.. two or three squads of storm troopers?”
“Only one way to find out”, Visse said with a grim and determined voice. She wasn’t going to give up. Her will was uncanny.

Jared shook her head again and sighed. But she decided to follow her fellow blaidenmaiden.
The rusty door opened. A soft humming sound, sparks from both ends of the grey door.
The door appeared to have been seriously damaged on the other side. Or it simply could have been the age. The room the Necris were wandering in, was dusty and appeared to have been abandoned for quite a while. Up until now, and a couple of trinitons ago.
“Look”, Rhaynor whispered, “the morons didn’t wipe out their footmarks in the dust”!
“Maybe they’ve done that on purpose ?”, Loque answered him.
“ Can’t be Loque,” Rhaynor continued”, all of the footsteps are leading towards the next door!”
Visse studied the room. It was yet again filled with crates and old consoles.
The large hall down below had been ultra modern, but the further the Necris proceeded into the building, the older and withered it appeared to look. abandoned.
But that couldn’t be. Someone was hiding in here, somewhere.. and she would find that person, and cut out his entrails.

“Ok fine,” She sighed, “nothing of interest in this room. Let’s proceed through that door and find Tchi.”
Jared and Rhaynor took point.
They arrived at the door.
Visse all of the sudden stopped walking and took a step back to look at an old console. She called Loque.
“Hey Loque”, she whispered, “what a strange logo on this console”
“Let me see”, he laughed. But the smile disappeared on his face.
“Well I’ll be”, he whispered.
“What is it?” Visse was confused. It was as if Loque had seen a Juduba.
A Juduba was a 3 legged predator back on Necron, and one might praise him or herself lucky if he or she had never to cross it ‘s path. It was a cruel and ferocious beast.
Only one Necris hunter came back with a severed Juduba head once. Unfortunately, half of the skin of it’s head was gone. The hunter explained he had to defend himself against the beast. So no one really knows what a Juduba looks like, but they do know it’s probably very scary. If it even scares the **** out of a Necris…
“Well”, Loque answered her,” it’s the same logo as the one on the box of that Ut game”
“What .. game?”, Visse said with a very confused tone in her voice.
“Oh you see it g..”

But Loque couldn’t finish his sentence. Visse interrupted him.
“Jared and Rhaynor”, she hissed, “they’re gone, while we were talking here, they ..
what happened to them?”
Loque walked towards the door, gun ready and looking at all directions.
The door was opened.
Loque stepped into another poorly lit corridor. Yellow lights coming out of the floor created a spooky mood. Loque found two guns lying on the ground.
He watched a turbolift taking off to the next floor. Visse joined him and started swearing.
“The arseholes,” she snarled.
“So I guess it’s just you and me now”, Loque said with a voice that couldn’t almost be heard.
Visse sighed and looked at him.
“This party isn’t going into the right direction, now is it”.
“Heck no”, he answered her.
“So, what are we going to do about it?”, she sighed.
“Find the guy who poisoned the bowl of blood?”, Loque mumbled.
Visse started smiling. Sure it was a poor smile, but Loque had always been able to make her laugh.

They walked up to the turbolift.
“They’ll be waiting for us up there,” Visse whispered, “and we don’t know how many there are;”
“Chances aren’t in our favour”, Loque mumbled, “but we have no choice. We don’ know if the others are dead.. or still alive and held captive for the moment.”
Visse and Loque waited for another 3 trinitons.
Then Visse pressed the buttons on the control panel, making the turbolift come down.
“Here we go again”, she said while taking a deep breath. A faint smile came upon her dark lips.
“Now they really better start to ph34r us”, Loque grinned.
“Why is that”, Visse asked him with a squeaky voice. She scratched her nose.
“Because you and me, we make a formidable team”
Visse smiled. The doors opened, and the two necris stepped in, once again perforating the ceilng…just in case.
The doors of the turbolift closed.
Maybe this was their last ride. Who knows, what could be waiting up there for them?
 

NeoNite

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Dec 10, 2000
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Well it's almost done, finished.. a couple of parts left to the story..

And when i'll be able to link the pic in my sig, tnx to zenda btw :) really appreciate it, this thread will live forever!

(evil laughter)
 

Zenda

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Hi :)

I look forward to seeing your sig flying proud.

I like the way this last part is consolidating the relationship between Loque and Visse.

As a kind of aside, I was well tickled by the continued Necris appreciation and critisism of Earth architecture. The emphasis on getting some mood lighting and also the critisism of the electric humming. .... What got me into ROFLM@O mode was the way I have been putting up with D-M ing amonst loads of nosiy lights. And it takes the Necris in a life and death situation to point this out. I feel ashamed to be Human [:D ], because, true to form, I had not been bothered by it. I had never noticed it!

I thought the description of Tchi beginning to lose it was a very nice touch. It also kind of builds up the positive qualities of Loque in an indirect way.


------------------------
Well it's almost done, finished.. a couple of parts left to the story..
------------------------

:(

I look forward to those parts. I'll be sad to see it finish.

cya :)
 

NeoNite

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Yes Zenda has arrived, now I can leave ! :D
Eh i was kinda waiting for someone to post in here :)

The buzzing lights? :) Ah well..
quake had lots of humming and buzzing lights.. oh it did..believe me on this one.. :D

Well don't worry Zenda, sure THIS story will end.. but eh..
nah.. i'll tell you later :)

Btw tried clicking the link in your pm, got "document not found" message.
 

NeoNite

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Dec 10, 2000
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First off all: Thanks Zenda, the pic is up, it's done, it's there :D
Really appreciate this. Now this thread will live .. well.. for a long time :)

Part 10 here it is..

Part 10: The penthouse.
******************

The Rusty doors of the dark turbolift opened. A bright light dazzled Loque and Visse.
Then, they saw the room lying in front of them.
Ultra-modern, state of the art consoles, “tasteful” indoor decorations… music playing through one of the speakers which hung right above the entrance of the room.
“I have got to be dreaming”, Visse said with an amused tone in her voice.
“Yeah, the 2nd and 3rd floor were old and withered and..”, Loque began but Visse interrupted him.
“No, not that”, she laughed and patted him on his shoulderpad,” I believe this human has good taste! How can you beat that?”
Loque smirked and shook his head.
He wandered through the big room, checking out all the corners and of course, the ultra-modern consoles. Again, he noticed the ut logo displayed on each one of them.
The room did smell somewhat funny though. As if someone had been urinating in there.
But that couldn’t be. This place was clean. In fact, the 2 necris had never seen a cleaner room before in their entire life.
Necris had a higher life expectancy than humans. Most of them reached 60, in terran years that would make 90.

“I’m stunned”, Loque smirked,” you’re right Visse, this place looks good.”
She stood at the window, looking down and watching the Necris warriors taking on the human army.
“Shame our com channels won’t work while we’re inside this building”, she sighed, “ I could radio the exact locations of the human opponents to our fellow Necris down below..”
“Something is interfering our channels”, Loque whispered.
“Yes from the minute we came in here”, Visse continued, “we’ve not been able to set up a com link with the troops outside.”
“Laque tried, right?”, Loque said while standing next to her, watching the terran city.
“Yeah, she did ”, Visse answered him using a gentil voice,” shes tried before we made our way to the first floor, when we were standing in the large hall.”
Loque looked down.
“Why is it taking them so long?”.

Zenith walked through one of the long shady corridors of the Phalanx. She entered a room called “the analysis lab” where special tech heads were checking out the executioner.
“So, are we making progress here, or are we watching our hair grow?”, she said with a firm voice and stared one of the tech heads in the eyes. The poor man stood no chance against the dark and harsh stare of his captain.
“I’m .. I’m sorry captain”, he stumbled,” we just want to make sure if this thing is stable enough.. we need to do a couple of more tests and..”
Zenith interrupted him and slammed her fist upon the table. The executioner lying on it launched itself into the air and came down without almost making a sound.

“Gentlemen”, she hissed, “you have been experimenting for the last 30 trinitons! Now that is a looong time. I’m sure this executioner is suitable for field testing, unless there are any negative results so far?”
A little tech head raised his hand.
“I told you not to do that”, Zenith sighed.
“Sorry captain, can’t help myself”, he said while a faint smile came on his lips, he was almost pooping his pants.
“What is it?”, Zenith said with a heavy voice.
“The.. well..”, the techie began,” the executioner’s results are positive, but..”
Zenith frowned and walked towards the little man.
She had to look down to stare him in the eyes.
“Well but what”, she snarled,” c’mon compadre, time isn’t a luxury we can afford ourselves now!”
“Eh I’m sorry captain”, he mumbled,” ok here here.. here’s the deal.. you see the executioner is ok, but.. the person wielding it, can only make use of it ONCE. That’s it.”
Zenith frowned again and ..
“If… if”, the little techie continued,” if the user tries using it twice.. heh.. eh.. the executioner will most probably .. detonate.”
Zenith raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth. She started swearing.
“Oh ****ing fantastic, **** **** ****!”
She paused for a couple of Kraylins and took a look at the executioner. She had no problem lifting the heavy device, while it took 3 tech heads for carrying it to the analysis lab.

She took a deep breath.. and put the exectioner back on the table.
“We have no choice”, she whispered,” we’ll have to sent it down.. But why hasn’t this thing been tested more? I don’t understand.”
The techies were baffled. They shook their heads and one of them opened his mouth.
Zenith was one step ahead and said:
“Oh put a tygron in it.”
She walked towards the exit and gave the techies a direct order:
“You have 5 trinitons to make a final analysis on the gun, then I want you to bring it to me. If not, I’ll have your base are for dinner. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes captain”, the tech heads yelled as if they were using one single voice.
One did poop his pants. But he had no time to change. Talk about ruining a perfect hypersuit!

Back to the techno centre on earth, the capital building.
Aryss was wielding the ESR and boy, did he like it! Sure he knew Loque was his superior when it came to being the greatest marksman, but Aryss was happy knowing he was one of the best.
“I just slaughtered that guy,” he grinned whilst human gibs flew over the barricade.
“Nice shooting commander”, a fellow officer yelled at him.
Aryss grinned.
“On to the next one”, he whispered and crouched down again, while aiming the gun, searching for a human target.

“Hey Visse”, Loque laughed, “check this out.”
“What is it”, she yelled from across the room.
“A picture..”, Loque shouted back at her.
Visse ran towards Loque and snatched the picture out of his hands.
She started laughing like a madcat.
“Oh ****”, she said while a tear came running down her eye,” this human looks ugly!”
“He appears to be old”, Loque smiled.
“I’ve never seen a human THIS ugly”, she said and a hysteric laughter filled the room whilst she took another look at the pic.”
“This guy is like a living GrOn,” Loque grinned.
Grons were fossilised predators back on Necron.

Loque took the picture back from Visse and put it in his backpak.
“If we get out here”, he smirked, “I’ll have to show this to the guys.”
“Hey, and what about me?”, Visse said with a hoarse voice. She was still laughing though.
“Oh dear”, he sighed, “can’t your g-console take a copy of the pic?”
Visse frowned and looked at the device.
“Sure it can”, she said with a silly voice,” now give me the pic already, gimme gimme gimme!”
Loque shook his head, opened the backpak and gave Visse the pic.
Visse used the g-c to make a copy of the pic. An evil grin came upon her sensual, dark lips.
“The girls will have a laugh when they’ll see this!”

The picture showed a funny looking, old man. He had big, weird eyes with hazel brown pupils. His head looked like an ancient parchment, due to the amount of wrinkles.
The white hair on the left and right side of his head, was long and sloppy.
On the background one could descry a younger looking, yet aged woman. She had long white, beautiful hair. Unlike the man on the pic, she wasn’t smiling.
The edges on the picture were stained, and a yellow border showed that the picture hadn’t been treated properly.

“This room is big isn’t it?”, Visse whispered when she was done laughing.
“Well”, Loque answered her and sniffed,” actually, it’s one big room, but it’s divided in smaller quarters. Look over there you can see .. what the humans like to call.. a kitchen. If I’m not mistaking.”
Visse was closely paying attention to what Loque was saying.
“Go on”, she said with an impatient voice.
“And over there you can see eh.. a restroom or a bathroom or both.. I’m not sure. The rooms are divided from each other by transparent doors. And look, over there is the living room.”
“The what”, Visse asked him. She did not understand the meaning of that word. What was a living room?
“Oh”, Loque smiled,” a living room. The humans like to use this room for watching eh.. their console screens, or hypertv’s, whatever it IS they’re using I’m not sure.” He paused for a Kraylin and swallowed.” See they like to relax in this room.”
Visse rolled her eyes.
“Relax?”, she mumbled,” .. typical human behaviour.. making a special room to relax in.”
She turned towards loque and looked him in the eye.
“How come you know so much about the humans, “ she asked him and studied his face. His look changed into a somewhat surprised and silly one.
“But Visse, didn’t Laque tell you? I like to study the behaviour of my opponent. Know your enemy right?”
Visse sniffed.
“I think you’re exaggerating Loque”.

Loque opened the door to the living room. It was empty. He pointed his gun across the room, not being sure if someone would be hiding behind one of the seats.
The wall hung full of paintings and pictures. Most of them showed the old woman from the picture.
Some pictures showed what appeared to have been a tournament.. in a large arena.
He saw a young man standing on top of his opponent, an ancient out dated minigun in his right hand. It was pointing at the head of the man lying beneath him.
Loque noticed a cruel smile on the man’s face. His eyes were big and .. weird. Blue pupils.

Trophies decorated the mantelpiece. Beneath it a simulated technofire lit up the place.
A shock went through Loque’s spine when he saw a huge poster hanging next to the mantelpiece.
It said: The Tournament, Tempest arena, date 15/8/2023.”
He noticed a group of men and women standing together, clapping hands. One held a big trophy.

Loque focused on the woman in the pic. She was carrying the trophy.
He scratched his chin and noticed the same green eyes, as he had seen on the woman in the pic he was carrying in his backpak.
Also, she was standing next to the guy with the big weird eyes, and blue pupils.
She was smiling at him. But he was smiling at the trophy.

Visse sniffed and Loque almost jumped out of his boots.
“Don’t do that please”, he hissed,” I’m extremely jumpy right now!”
Visse raised her left eyebrow and pointed her head at the poster.
“This seems familiar”, she mumbled.
“What?”, Loque sighed and touched his forehead. It sure was warm in there!
Visse looked at him, and it was if she was staring right through him.
She slowly nodded and raised her shoulders. Then she took a deep breath and smiled.
“It’s .. not that important Loque. At least, I don’t seem to care anymore, .. but eh looking at that poster.. ah never mind.”
“Ok”, Loque smirked, “but don’t sneak up on me anymore promise?”
Visse grinned.
“H..hey c’mon!”, Loque stumbled,” stop fooling around!”
“What’s the matter”, Visse jested,” is our big scary warrior afraid? A little edgy?”
“Yeah, edgy is the word I was looking for”, he whispered, “ no Visse look, suppose I mistake you for an enemy and kill you? You know..”
Visse rolled her eyes.
“Mkay”, she said while holding Loque’s nose.
“Let go”, he said with a funny voice.
Visse laughed and let go, she slapped him on the cheek.
“C’mon compadre”, she grinned,” I’ll walk you to the next room, and make sure no bad man will..”
But she couldn’t finish her sentence. The wall in front of them crumbled down, and a team of heavily armed storm troopers came through!
The 2 Necris immediately took cover behind a nearby seat.
Loque even shot one of the troopers whilst searching for cover! The trooper fell down to the ground a pool of yellow fluid came out of his eyes.
The room was filled with the sounds of shots coming from blasters, guns and tasers.
“It appears”, Visse yelled,” we’re in a sticky situation!”
Loque swallowed and fired two shots at the troopers, only taking one Kraylin to duck back for safe cover behind the seat.
“I have to agree”, he said while panting heavily,” so far I’ve counted 6 of them. Why aren’t they closing in on our position?”
“Maybe they feel like toying around with us?”, Visse coughed while a cloud of dust came down on the 2 necris warriors. An old 21st century Tl light smacked down right in front of her.
“Those bastards”, Visse growled.
Loque looked at her and nodded. “The darkening?”, he asked her.
She was startled for a moment, but then agreed. “The darkening!”
Loque took out a black box from his backpak while Visse returned fire.
He threw it at the troopers and all of the sudden the room was engulfed by a dark cloud. Loque heard the troopers coughing, gasping for air. He started counting as he heard the sound of bodies hitting the floor.
“That makes 6 of them”, he yelled,” ok it’s done, you can go back to sleep!”
It was as if the dark cloud understood him. It disappeared back in the black box.

Visse stood up from behind the seat and immediately terminated the troopers who where rolling over the floor.
“Good thing you brought that black box!”, she sighed.
“I know,” he smirked,” almost forgot it though.”

The black box held a dark cloud, this was an unique Necris weapon. What made it so special, was that the carrier of the black box, could actually order the cloud around! It had a highly developed AI.
The Necris had specifically designed for use against humans. They weren’t sure it would affect other alien species…

Meanwhile, outside the building, the young pilot named Jiggar received a message on her com channel.
She notified Aryss.
“It’s captain Zenith”, she said in her typical squeaky, silly manner of speaking.
“Oh great”, he smiled,” well what does she want?”
“Wait just a Krrraylin”, she grinned and opened the channel.
“Pilot Jiggar”, Zenith commenced, “ tell commander Aryss we’re sending the executioner down.”
Jiggar wanted to say something, but Aryss rudely interrupted her.
“Great Zenith. When can we expect it to arrive?”
Jiggar frowned: “I’d say, the captain was talking to me!”
Aryss looked at her and apologised:” I’m sorry girl, I’m in a rush. But I really need to talk to the captain now!”
Jiggar sniffed and turned her head to the left.
Aryss sighed.
“Jiggar has to return to the Phalanx and collect the executioner, and bring it to you”, Zenith spoke using her typical firm, disciplined voice.
“Jiggar, but she..” Aryss stopped and looked around. No Jiggar.
A razor took of, and set course for the phalanx.
“My my”, he said to Zenith”, she sure is fast!”
“Of course”, she smiled,” why’d you think I sent her down in the first place? She might sound a bit silly from time to time, but she’s one of the most disciplined pilots under my command. Meaning if I need an job to be executed quick and swiftly, Jiggar is the Necris I’m looking for.”
Aryss looked up to the sky.
“SO when will she back?”
Zenith smiled and slowly blinked her eyes.
“She’ll be back before you can say “QwüzyIqlnQgröix”. Zenith out.”
Aryss scratched the back of his head.
“I hate that word”, he said with a irritated tone in his voice,” I really hate that word why does she have to keep mentioning that! She knows I can’t pronounce it!”

“Eck, look at all that yellow fluid.. and eh blue organs, “ Visse said with a voice showing nothing but disgust.
“Well I’ve got to agree”, Loque mumbled and cringed his teeth,” these humans look awkward!”
“Oooh it’s on my booth!”, Visse sighed. She started complainging, saying that stain probably wouldn’t go away. She really hated human blood. Ok, she wasn’t sure if this yellow fluid was blood, but it was a human product, therefore disgusting and smelly.”
Loque rolled his eyes and shook his head.

All of the sudden a figure appeared behind one of the transparent doors.
The door got smashed out of it’s locks, and a loud bang rang across the room when it hit concrete.
A big man came stepping through the door and he was growling. He held a big gun in his left hand.
Behind him 5 more storm troopers came stumbling in the room.
He opened his mouth and moved his head towards the troopers, still keeping his eye on the 2 necris standing in front of him.
“Keep your guns aimed at their heads!”, he spoke with a brutal and harsh voice. It was as if the voice almost sounded robotic.
The armour he was wearing was a state of the art 24th century battle outfit.
His face was red, and a similar coloured moustache decorated the room underneath his big nose. The man measured up to almost 7 feet!

“You’re a big fellow”, Loque said while looking at the large man standing in front of him.
Most Necris reached the 6 feet and 3 inches.. or a bit more. But never in the history of Necron there had been a 7 feet Necris.
He swallowed when the man looked him in the eyes. A brutal, fresh stare. The stare of a man knowing everything was under control.
He spitted the Necris in the face and laughed.
Loque cringed his teeth. But he couldn’t fire at the big man, cause his loyal “guards”, as they appeared to be, were still aiming for his head.
“I’m surprised,” the large man began,” you even made it this far!”
He paused and looked at both Necris.
“Only 2 of you left,” he continued,” I hate Necris you know.. probably as much as you hate us humans, but .. I do .. kind off admire you persistence, your strong will; especially the lady…
Visse frowned.
“Tell me one thing my dear,” he chuckled, “ why is it that all of the Necris female are so beautiful, and all Necris male are so ugly?”
She growled.
“Oh I’m scared I admit,” he laughed at her”, I’ve heard many stories of the insane blaidenmaiden tearing of heads or skinning their victims. Little… black… widows.”
He walked up to a cupboard, and opened the small doors. He reached for what appeared to be wine, and one glass. He poured in a drink, and took a long sip.
“Aaaah”, he sighed,” nothing beats good old 20th century wine!”
When he had the finished the drink, he looked at the room.
“My my,” he said and an insane grim came upon his face”, you 2 have been making a mess.. look at my troopers!”

Loque’s fist were aching to take of that arrogant humans’ head.
The man laughed and walked up to a window. He looked down and laughed again.
Then he scratched his nose, started singing a weird song, and walked up to a white console.
“This,”, he proudly stated,” is my little darling. She controls this building, heck she controls about everything which surrounds the building, for example .. the net!”
Visse looked at Loque, the she turned her head at the big, maybe totally insane man and hissed:” What ****ing net, what the **** are you talking about human?”
The man paused and studied her.
“Never seen a Necris woman naked in my entire life”, he whispered,” soon I’ll have the opportunity.”
A look of disgust and pure hatred came upon Visse her face. This human was really twisted and evil.
“Ok, my friends.. eeh. Let me correct that.. alien idiots”, the man laughed,” the net.. there’s a net surrounding the building, and when activitated it produces 100.000 volts of pure, deadly electricity.
Loque swallowed. A Necris could only take up to 5000 volts!
“What the **** are you talking about”, Loque snarled.
“See this .. button?”, the man hissed, “one push, and the net activates. And your friends down there have been standing on it all along! Unfortunately when I activate the net, my.. human troopers will fry as well. Too bad… I have always considered them as cannon fodder.”
Meanwhile Visse studied the movements of the man. Somehow she felt there was something peculiar about this man. She wasn’t really sure what exactly was wrong about him, but she was pretty sure it was a…

The man paused and pointed his forefinger at the Necris, “but there’s more.. this button also activates the berserk mode in my troopers. See, it doesn’t matter if you blow of their heads, a computer will KEEP transmitting the exact coordinates of your current position to them, so they can take you out and serve your head on my plate for dinner tonight.”
He sat down in the chair in front of the white console, and let his hand slide over the control board..
“I do love her so much”, he said with an insane voice, “WELL time’s up, it’s done.. ehm.. time to go.. show’s over.. th.. th.. th.. that’s all.. peeps!”
The troopers marched in front of their leader, prepared to attack the 2 Necris.
The man hysterically laughed when he pushed the button!!!

Nothing happened though. He stopped smiling and pushed it again. Again, nothing happened.
Even better, the troopers standing in front of him froze!
The man panicked, and jumped out of his chair. He aimed his gun at the Necris, but they were gone. A bottle of whine hit his head and he fell to the floor.

“Look”, Visse growled, “just as I thought.”
Her fingers searched for a button in the large man his neck.
All of the sudden the body unfolded, opened.
“An exoskeleton”, Loque shouted, “ that ****ing pig!”
He and Visse stared at the person in the exoskeleton.
They couldn’t believe their eyes.
 

Zenda

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LOL:) 'I want you to bring it to me. If not, I’ll have your base are for dinner'

... That humour just slaughtered this guy.

The Necris - A bunch of heavy duty warriors, with the capacity to quip and bicker with the best.

-----------------
“She’ll be back before you can say “QwüzyIqlnQgröix”. Zenith out.”
Aryss scratched the back of his head.
“I hate that word”, he said with a irritated tone in his voice,” I really hate that word why does she have to keep mentioning that! She knows I can’t pronounce it!”
----------------------------

I wonder whether the original designers of UT expected them to take on these characteristics?

In the original single person tournament, lots of humans got biographies. The necris were generally left alone. Is good to see them coming more and more alive with each episode. :)

I like their reaction to human eyes.

I thought it was going to lead to a top floor deathmatch. Instead, we've got this unexpected turn with the exoskeleton [great false start with that doomsday button:D]. I'm intrigued.

Roll on the next part :)







And I'm relieved that that link is working. Your sig looks good, I'm glad it's sorted :)
 

NeoNite

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If it wasn't for you zenda :)

The sad news: Guess i'll soon be posting the last 2-3 parts.. depends. The story will come to an end. :(

The good news: When I have a future story in mind, i'll post it here. So whenever the thread appears on page 1.. :D

Necris=human?

hm maybe a bit.. not too much really.. :)
The exoskeleton... yes I felt like doing this..
But this story isn't really an UT story.. meaning... sure there's Loque and Visse etc.. but not the same Loque and Visse as in the ut game we know.

(sure it's the same l and v from ut in the pic in my sig, but eh .. I want the people to recognise them.. :) see?)

47 pages so far.. :)
More to come.. real soon.
 

pine

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Interesting, how did I miss this thread for such a long time? Anyhoo, I'll read it the story tomorrow morning when I have more time on my hands, but right now I just wanted to point out, Neonite, that the "Necris Story" link in your sig doesn't work correctly.

laterz, gl and keep writing!
 

Zenda

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Quote from Pineconeboy ...
---------------
'I just wanted to point out, Neonite, that the "Necris Story" link in your sig doesn't work correctly. '
---------------

Uh oh :( I just tried the thread-link. Problem confirmed on my computer.

thx, Pine :)
 

_Zd_Phoenix_

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I wasn't able to read this for a couple of days, but wow, look what I find when I come back! I sorta thought it was gonna be one big victory for the necris with not that much goin on (even tho i want the necris scum to die...:))

But it looks great at the moment, i hope you post the next bit soon :D
 

pine

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Ok, so I just read through all 10 (!) parts of this story and it took me almost an hour. Onto the constructive criticism........

Firstly, your creativity and storytelling is GREAT. Just keep it coming; I wish I had half as much imagination.

Most of the things I would point out are technical details. For example, you change tenses randomly.......past to present, and back to past again........when writing a narrative like this, it's way easier if you just get in the past tense and STAY there. Seems like later on in the story you did that.

Your grammar actually gets better throughout the story......maybe you just needed to warm up your writing skills. Another thing I noticed, however, is that you sometimes use a lot of really short sentences. Try throwing a conjunction in every once in awhile.

Lastly, a couple times earlier in the story you spoke directly to the reader or changed perspective to first-person briefly. I.E. "you will notice......" or "I might mention that......". Instead say "It is notable that......." or "It should be mentioned that......."

Good work! You've inspired me to go back to work on a fanfic I started MONTHS ago about the game Septerra Core. It really had a good start, but I ran out of ideas.........
 
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