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The necris story

Discussion in 'BuF Classics' started by NeoNite, Jul 5, 2001.

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  1. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    oh come on, you know I erad it, I've just given up on the off story topic stuff, and Ive said all the rest before...great, like that bit, visse is a bitch, etc. :D
     
  2. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    Yeah you better not give up! Happy 3000th post Neo :) Man, my guitar is addicting.. learned Pink Panther Song 2day :)
     
  3. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    You're learning awfully fast lafnboy :)
    I knew how to play polly once.. but .. ah.. those were the days :D

    confusing...

    Ok I've been overreacting and I'm sorry :)
     
  4. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    Im gonna shut the TST2 thread cause no one's readin it!!!!! :mad:

    But ill have to open it first...;)
     
  5. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Ha ha ha :p

    Say, I've edited the entire TST.. took out the garbage etc ;) and the spam and the nonsense :D
    Seriously; is it ok with you if I include the word file as an attachment in the thread?

    Edited word document: Tahoma 12 pt.: 32 pages.

    Ot version: times new roman, 10 pt(!): 42 pages.
     
  6. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    I dont quite know what you're asling, but if it's just having a downloadable file of the original, then sure why not. Oh, and I decided I will be doin TST2 as planned, thx once more to Zenda :)
     
  7. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Have you listened to his .. you know ;)
    It's pretty good ain't it?

    One clean tst version coming up...
     
  8. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    Im sorry, i have no idea what you're talking about.

    yeah, it's damn good! :)
     
  9. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Yeah damn right great song :)

    Ok, next part is coming up real soon!
    Today!
    :D
     
  10. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    Okay Im trying to type at least one post WITHOUT anything guitar related. Good to see the next part is coming up:) Now where is Agouba? Is he the one behind the kidnapping? i bet he is..... :hmm: O about the song Come as you are.. i just can play the first part, not the whole song... oops, that was guitar-related :D i didnt say that
     
  11. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    :lol: im on a sample computer at Comp USA!!!! lol, i just wanted to post cos i thought it would be funny. well see ya.
     
  12. Mohamz

    Mohamz Super SAIYA-JIN

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    Wow!
    Three parts! But why did you post part 15 twice ?
    Of course we are still reading them, my problem is that I never come to PUF on weekends...

    Hey _Zd_Phoenix_ when you start it please tell us, thanks.

    Neo: 58 pages great!
    I'm reading part 14 now...
     
  13. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Post part 15 twice..
    Did I :)?
    silly me.
    Should've been part 15 and 16.
     
  14. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Here's part 17.
    :-B :) :O]

    Part 17: A death end…
    *******************

    The Nali cow rubbed itself against Visse her legs. She almost fell over.
    “Welcome traveller, to Bluff Eversmoking”, she said staring at the plaque near the gate.
    She looked at the big gate in front of her. The howling wind and the shrieking dragonbirds were getting on her nerves.
    “All of you shut up!”, she shouted.” How am I supposed to concentrate with all this noise?”
    She touched the gate. Oak.
    “How do I open this thing”, Visse sighed.
    She heard the young Nali cow crying, trying to catch her attention. She turned around, and saw a mechanism near the rocks.
    “Gee, how did I miss that? Thanks little fellow.”
    The cow showed a big grin.
    “Wonder who you learned that from…”

    The mechanism was covered with cobwebs and dragonbird poop. It had a very unpleasant odour, a human would’ve perished for sure. But Necris were different. For some reason, they were able to withstand it’s dark influence. Although, Visse felt her body shivering when she approached the mechanism.
    “Let’s see.. what If I turn this.. thing… here.. to the left?”
    She huffed and puffed.. but it wouldn’t work.
    “Isn’t this typical? Isn’t it?”, she whispered at the Nali cow. He shook his head and rolled over.
    “Yeah you’re a big help aren’t you? The other way around I guess…”
    Visse put in all her strength in trying to making this thing go to work.
    “C’mon, you bastard… work damn you!”, she cried.
    All of the sudden, the gate made a loud shrieking sound. Light erupted from a small opening, the gate was moving! A loud crack.
    “Oh no please don’t tell me..”, Visse sighed.
    “The damn thing is stuck! Off al the!”
    She wiped the sweat from her forehead, gestured the Nali cow to follow her.
    “Ok, it appears this opening.. is large enough to crawl under.. we’ll make it to the other side.”
    “Moo”
    “You said it”, Visse smiled, “now let’s go.. follow me.”
    She took a deep breath, and crawled underneath the gate. She made it, whipping the dust of her clothes, to the other side.
    A large open hall. Another gate at the far end.
    “Not again”, Visse hissed.
    The sound of the howling wind was increasing. A dragonbird came flying in low over Visse her head, and it surprised her. She jumped to the left, and took out her knife.
    False alarm. The creature had been curious about this intruder. She slammed the knife back in it’s cage and got to her feet.
    She noticed a small wooden “balcony”. And another mechanism.
    “I sure hope this one won’t give us any problems right?”, she smiled at the silly Nali cow.
    “Mooooo”
    “I agree. Let’s open this damn gate!”

    What followed was beyond belief. Visse had never actually seen a place like this.
    A small ‘village’, or at least that’s what she thought it was, lying on a big rock.
    She looked down, only to find out that the whole thing was surrounded by a huge lake.
    “So.. Bluff Eversmoking…”, she mumbled, “this is were THEY have taken my friends to.”
    “Where to begin?”
    She walked up to a the front gate. It was locked. Visse leaned against it.
    “Probably locked from the inside. I’ll have to find another way in.”
    She turned to her left, only to discover a path winding down the rock. She decided to follow it.
    The sounds of Nali rabbits grabbed her attention. It was coming from the other side.
    But first of all she wanted to find out where this path was leading to.

    Again, the lit torches on her way.
    Visse arrived at two entrances to what appeared to be a “cellar” or underground passageway.
    She grabbed her knife, steady grip, in her right hand.
    “Better stay close to me”, she whispered at the Cow. Visse was almost sure the little guy could understand every word she was saying.
    It shook his head, jumped up and down a couple of times and followed the big woman into the a poorly lit corridor. Water came dripping from the ceiling. Nali spiders ran back to their holes into the wall, scared the cow would eat them.

    “Oh guess I have to jump down here”, Visse mumbled.
    A silent thump, and Visse was down. She caught the Nali cow in her arms and gently put it on the ground.
    It shook it’s tail out of happiness. As if it knew it could really rely on Visse.
    “Now be quiet you”, she said with a hoarse voice, whipping her raven hair out of her eyes,” we might be walking into a trap. Be prepared for anything!”
    She paused for a Kraylinn and slapped herself in the face.
    “Why am I talking to a Nali cow?”

    She squinted her eyes, carefully studying her surroundings. The corners.. the walls, the darker spots of the room, behind the wooden crates on the far right side. Nothing.
    Visse found a small corridor on the end of the room. On the other side she found prison cells, and a staircase leading to the second tier.
    Five cells on each tier. The doors were opened. Once again, nothing but dead silence.
    Three books lying on table, covered in dust, made Visse sit down and read through.
    Two crosses on the walls. Visse wondered what purposed they served once?
    One Nali cow sitting on the floor next to her, sighing.. obviously bored.
    These books appeared to have been written by Krall! Visse frowned and closed the book she was reading. A big cloud of dust came down upon the Nali cow.
    “Oh sorry little guy”, Visse whispered.
    “Krall? Here? Well .. what do you know?”

    How could Visse possibly have known these books were written by the hands of a Krall? She doesn’t understand her language, now does she? Nor does she carry a universal translator with her.
    No, she saw drawings of Kralls in the book. They appeared to have been Krall soldiers, officers of some kind.
    She clearly recognised the figure in the drawing. It was the same as the Krall soldier she killed in the fortress…
    “Where are my friends”, Visse sighed.
    “Nothing of interest here my little friend. Guess we’ll have to go back from where we came.”
    The cow sniffed and hissed.
    “I’m really starting to like you”, Visse grinned.

    There she was. Standing in front of the gate, again. Lucky for her, there was a second entrance to the “village”.
    An opening, about the size of a door, in the wall. Another opening. A grim passage…
    A small atrium.
    “Hmm it appears this had been a well or a bathing place once.”
    All dried up. No life signs. Dark sky, tones of red and yellow.. thousands and thousands of stars. Shrieking dragonbirds.
    “I don’t like this”, Visse sighed.” Where are my friends? Where am I supposed to find them? I feel like I have hit a dead end here…”

    All of the sudden she heard the sound of feet. Large feet. Large feet hitting the ground, hard. On the other side.
    Knife ready for everything, she decided to check it out.
    Carefully lifting her feet, placing them back on the ground, almost crouching, she proceeded towards the second opening in the wall.
    Only a couple of meters away now. One meter. Almost there. Trembling knife in her hand. What if it was a Skaarj war party? She was a blaidenmaiden yes, but she couldn’t take on 3-4 well equipped Skaarj warriors all by herself.
    A large shadow. Getting closer and closer. The footsteps. The howling wind. Dragonbirds. The Nali cow seeking shelter at her arm.

    The Iceskaarj stopped right in front of the “door”. He didn’t bother turning it’s head around. Apparently he had more important things on his mind. Staring at the rocks in the bluff. Mumbling something Visse just couldn’t make out.
    “Please don’t let him turn around”, she whispered. Slowly Visse crawled back, to safety.
    The Iceskaarj coughed, cleaned it’s blades and started whistling. Tapping his feet, sharpening his blades on the walls.

    Finally, the Iceskaarj turned around, and took a look at the opening…
    He frowned. Almost sure he smelled something unfamiliar to this place. A long sigh, obviously he had been mistaking.
    Slowly he marched back to .. well wherever he came from. Visse took a peek around the corner, lurking through the opening.
    “Maybe he came through the gate?” she wondered and lifted the small nali cow.
    “No don’t make a sound, I’ll follow the Skaarj ok?”
    The Nali cow grinned.
    “Ooooookay , just be quiet!”
    She crouched, safely along the wall, making her way to the gate.
    Slowly looking around the next wall, seeing the Iceskaarj opening the gate.
    “Damn, there goes my chance of sneaking in!”
    But it appeared as if the Iceskaarj had forgotten something and walked up to the right side of the rock.
    “Guess this is my lucky day”, Visse smiled.
    Quick and silent as she could, she made her way to the gate and jumped inside.

    One small building. A Nali chapel of some kind. The gates ajar. As if someone wanted to say “welcome traveller”.
    “Hm.. what if .. I could..”, Visse mumbled.
    All of the sudden she heard the Iceskaarj coming back to the front gate.
    No time to waste! Quick as she could , she made her way to the chapel’s gate and rolled inside.
    In the nick of time. The Iceskaarj had arrived, and closed the front gate. Yawning.
    Visse lurked through one of the chapel’s yellow windows. Lay low Visse, he might see you!

    But he didn’t. The Iceskaarj disappeared. Visse sighed.
    No footsteps. Only the howling wind and the dragonbirds.
    Indeed it appeared she had come across a Nali chapel. Small ornaments on the left and right proved her suspicions about this place.
    She leaned against the brick wall behind her, and slowly turned around the corner.
    A Nali statue, 4 pillars, a landing and a red carpet.
    She walked in the room, staring around.
    She frowned. It was as if the statue was smiling at her. That couldn’t be. Visse was feeling tired.
    What an adventure so far. And she had lost her friends back at the Nali castle. Who had kidnapped them and why?

    But what is this? She simply couldn’t believe her very eyes! Could it be? Is it really…?
    The Nali skins! Here! In the chapel! At the feet of the statue!
    Visse walked up to the skins, crouched and touched them.
    “Yuck”, she mumbled,” feels weird.”
    “So I’ve finally found them.. here in Bluff Eversmoking. After confronting a talking rock, an intelligent dragon, Iceskaarj, this Nali cow, crossing a Nali village and Skaarj outpost.. after seeing a Nali castle and…”
    Visse sat down. Her eyes staring in disbelief at the skins.
    One thing didn’t feel right though…
    “Whoever made that note, back in Nali castle… expected my arrival ok. But for long have they foreseen my arrival here in Bluff Eversmoking? I have this strange feeling.. as if this whole … adventure..”
    Visse shook her head.
    “No, that’s highly unlikely, it couldn’t have been planned or..”
    She got to her feet, taking the Nali skins from the floor, safely putting them in her backpack.
    “I’m not leaving without those”, she smiled, “and my friends.. where are they?”
    The young Nali cow started crying.
    “What is it, little guy?”, Visse whispered.
    Visse felt an icy claw getting a hold of her heart. She had been dreaming too long, staring at those skins.
    She walked up to the chapel’s gate. Locked!

    “No”! The muffled cry resounded across the small chapel.
    “Well, they won’t catch me without a good fight!”, Visse hissed and fell back to the Nali statue.
    Nothing happened. Not a sound.
    The Nali cow was hiding behind her legs.
    “Don’t worry”, Visse whispered, “Whatever is out there, it’s nothing my knife can’t handle.”
    “I hope…”

    All of the sudden Visse heard the sound of cracking walls and she just couldn’t except what followed next…
     
  15. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    Cool, a Visse- Cow :lol:
     
  16. _Zd_Phoenix_

    _Zd_Phoenix_ Queen of BuFdom

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    I like the way you change the pace of this story so often, it works well.

    Can't wait to see what comes through the wall :) (im guessin the dragon)
     
  17. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Ok, :-I this is the last part. Sorry I just felt like ending the story. I really want to start writing on the New story. BUT that doesn't mean "Hey I'll give Nali skins a crappy ending and to hell with the others :p" NO! Don't worry
    I've been planning this ending since DAY ONE!
    Yep.
    So here it is. The last part of the Nali skins story. I've written almost up to 5 pages this times.

    Total pagecount of Nali skins: times new roman, 10 pt: 66 pages.

    How about that eh
    Third story will probably be "larger" "bigger" though... it'll be so different and I truly hope you guys will like it. I'm really looking forward to it.

    The end, .. To be honest :) I enjoyed writing Nali skins. Especially the Morbias part.


    FAQ about naliskins:

    Q: Will this story have a sequel?

    A: Yes

    Q: Are joo Nuts you m0 ending the story at this stage?

    A: I felt like it, I hope you guys don't mind :) but I gave the story a beautiful "shocking" ending.

    Q: Are you nuts?

    A: why yes.

    Q: What about the third story?

    A: I'll prolly start posting it in the second week of Octobre. PH34R!

    Q: what about this preview pic you posted a couple of days ago?
    You know, the one with the weird lady in it?

    A: patience :D

    Q: You suck! This story should've had like 100.000 chapters!

    A: :eek: 18 isn't that bad? :)



    Enough!
    Here, start reading the final part of Nali skins.


    Part 18: Final destination…
    *********************************

    There she was, standing in the small room of the chapel, knife ready in her left hand. Heart beating like a drum.
    Two walls opening. One on the left and right. Visse squinted her eyes, and started growling.

    “What the?”, she mumbled.
    She couldn’t believe it! Was this actually happening?
    There they were: Laque and Neo on the left, Barak and Rumiko on the right.
    They were smiling. Why where they smiling? It didn’t make sense. Visse shook her head, rubbing her eyes, trying to say something…
    But all she could do is stare at them, mouth wide open.
    The Nali cow was mooing.

    On the landing above them she noticed George and Agouba entering the room!
    This just didn’t make sense anymore? George was death! She heard him die. Or at least… that’s what she thought had happened to him. But there he was, alive and kicking, standing on the landing above her. And so was that irritating Nali Agouba, who had all of the sudden disappeared, back in Serpent Canyon.

    “I .. I don.. don’t understand”, Visse hissed,” what the **** is going on here? What is this?”
    Neo walked up to her. Visse waved her knife at him, growling.
    “Don’t .. take .. another step, “writer-person”!
    Neo swallowed, staring at his reflection in the shiny, dangerous evisceration knife.
    “Eh Visse”, he smirked,” let me explain please?”
    “WHO is responsible for this???”, she yelled.
    Agouba fell to the floor, hands waving up and down.
    “Oh please, not again”, Visse sighed.” Talk Neoknight! What is going on here?”

    “Well you see..”, Neo answered her,” remember the bridge back on Necron? You and Loque were standing there, watching the two moons…”
    “Yes?”
    Visse was showing her teeth. It was kind of upsetting Neo.
    “See.. I noticed you being tense .. a bit stressed .”
    “And?”
    “Well… later that day, I talked with Loque about you.. and…”
    “Loque? He’s in it as well? What the ****?”
    “Yes.. see he knew you felt like .. taking a breather.. after the raid on earth you know? So he asked me about the trip to Napali….what cities we would visit and so on…”
    “Go on”, Visse whispered.
    “See, he knew you’d enjoy this trip, but .. there was the possibility you’d get bored .. no action makes Visse a bad girl right?”, Neo smiled. His smile faded when he noticed Visse her angry stare.
    “Yessss??”
    “E.. eh.. h.. well.. ehmm.. so I looked up any information regarding organised trips, adventures on Nalina.
    I winded up with this Nali called Ygian. He organised these special “Nali hunts”. I mean, it’s not exactly hunting Nali but ah … you know what I mean?”
    Visse lowered the knife, waving her hand through her hair.
    “This is… Ygian was.. I can.. ‘t believe this .. oh man..”
    “See the thing is … we as me, Laque, Barak did it for you, so you could relax.. visse-style that is”
    Neo grinned.
    Visse showed a weak smile, not knowing exactly how to feel. This whole trip had been planned, her friends had known everything from the start.
    “But what about Morbias?”, Visse mumbled.
    “Morbias”, George smiled,” was also making part off this planned adventure. He’s not cursed, he’s no prisoner from Spirevillage…”
    “You guys were scared ****less!”
    “Nah.. we faked it.”, Laque laughed.
    “You .. dirty”, Visse smiled.,” you’re kidding me.. and what about Agouba pooping his pants?”



    Agouba’s face turned red.
    “I have.. this problem you see..”
    Visse rolled her eyes. “Oh boy, please don’t bother telling me…”
    “And the Iceskaarj?”
    At that exact moment 4 Iceskaarj came through the Chapel’s gate.
    “Their job is to make sure the participants of these Nali hunts are having a good time, and move on..”, Barak smirked.
    “Oh.. really?”
    Visse glanced at the Iceskaarj. Apparently they were enjoying themselves.
    “But the detpack back at village? The teleportation room?”
    Barak swallowed. He noticed 2 of the Iceskaarj watching him, squinting their eyes.
    “Eh.. it seems I’ve used a snot bomb.. a mix up I guess.. I ordered another type of fake bomb but..”
    “Fake bomb? A dragon being part of an organised adventure?”, Visse cried, “what next?”
    She still couldn’t believe what was happening. She slapped her hand against her head..
    “This is so … unreal!”

    “And the outpost, what about that?”, she grinned, pointing at Neo.
    “Eh. It appeared a couple of Skaarj were not informed of the Nali hunt.. and.. eh.. they’ve told us they’re very sorry..”
    “I KILLED ONE!”
    “Yes, that was a dummy.”
    “What?”, Visse yelled, almost laughing.
    “Well.. it was a cybernetic Skaarj..”, Neo grinned, “eh.. the Skaarj are an advanced race. And so where the other killed Skaarj. When they saw you killing the “dummy”, they send in the other .. dummies..”
    “Unbe-friggin-lievable!”, Visse sighed.
    “But hey, on the bright side, this wasn’t such a bad trip after all right?”, Rumiko smiled.
    “You.. what about? When did THEY inform YOU about this..?”
    “Oh.. before I left home. They called me on my interstellar communicator (Acron for telephone)
    and . eh to be honest.. at first I didn’t really feel for any of this..”
    “Yeah you even had second doubts back at Serpent Canyon”, Neo mumbled.
    “So what writer person”, Rumiko said,” I never gave up on you guys, now did I?”
    Visse frowned.
    “Yes, but what about the Krall at the fortress.. and the brute back at the mill in Serpent Canyon?”
    “Unforeseen consequences”, George sighed, “poop happens, I’m afraid. Won’t happen next time though!”

    Visse leaned against a wall, staring at her friends, at George, the Iceskaarj and Agouba.
    She bowed her head, leaning on her chest. The Nali Cow tried crawling up her legs.
    “Visse are you ok?”, Neo said in a concerned manner.
    Visse rose her head, mouth half opened.
    “You .. guys.. did all of this.. for me?”
    Laque came closer and sat next to her.
    “Yes, we did honey”, she grinned.
    “I don’t know what to say.. I’m very angry.. but on the other hand..”
    “You had tons of fun didn’t ya?”, Barak smiled.
    “Yes I did.. it felt really good.. the whole.. experience.. the tension.. the thrill..”
    Visse scratched her head.
    “Where’s that Ygian fool?”
    “Oh I’m here”
    Ygian was standing at the corner of the wall.
    “I found the skins, didn’t I?”, Visse asked him.
    “Yes you did”, Ygian smiled,” you’re the first one to ever successfully finish a Nali hunt.”
    Visse had to ask him.
    “What do you mean.. successfully..?”
    “Eh.. well.. the other groups.. “
    “They’re still alive are they?”
    “Eh..”
    “SO..”, Visse all of the sudden yelled, “this is great! An adventure, planned by the whole lot of you, intended to relax me, after that huge raid on earth.. that LIFE threatening raid!”
    “Yes”, Ygian said, sweat drops rolling down his neck.
    “So.. the Krall and Brute have never been a part of this program.. but .. I COULD .. we COULD have died?”
    Laque took Ygian by his stinky cloth.
    “You never told us we could’ve lost our lives? This was supposed to “relax” everybody. Despite the Krall and Brute of course… and the dragon.. sure scared the **** out of Visse and Agouab.”
    “No it didn’t”, Visse muttered.
    “Yes, old Nali”, Barak growled,” what’s up with that?”
    The Iceskaarj were laughing.
    “So the old fart didn’t tell you about the high risks involved with this adventure?”
    “NO he didn’t”, Rumiko yapped at them.
    Agouba pooped his pants.

    George jumped down from the landing.
    “I wasn’t informed as well old man”, he sighed, “ why didn’t you tell me?”
    “I .. I ..”, Ygian stuttered.
    “You .. ARE … a TOUR guide, aren’t you?”, Visse asked him.
    “Yes, I am, don’t worry”, George grinned.
    “Eh.. this has been fun, you’ve all enjoyed the adventure, now didn’t you? So.. if you want to you can enjoy the rest of your trip on Nalina back at Bouvaja right?”
    Visse turned her head at Barak.
    “What happened at the Castle?”
    “Oh, when you were sleeping, we took off and called for the ship to pick us up and bring us to Bluff Eversmoking.”, Barak answered her.
    “And the note.. who wrote the note?”
    “I did”, Neo mumbled, “eh.. a simple note.”
    Visse was biting her nails. She had never expected anyone doing this for her. She didn’t know whether to thank Loque.. or not?
    She got up, and took a deep breath.
    “Well.. it appears this adventure.. is over..”
    “Yeah.. we sure had loads and loads of fun didn’t we”, Laque smiled.
    “Yes.. . George, you .. bastard”, Visse said, smirking…
    “I enjoyed hanging out with you Visse”, he said, “you’re a cool Necris chick.”
    “chick?”
    “Woman”, George grinned.
    “Eh to be honest.. I feel like going back to Necron. What about you guys?”
    “Same here”, Laque yawned, “this trip has taking a lot of energy out of me..
    “Hey, what about the Freylinn?”, Visse cried!
    “Oh. Don’t worry about that”, Barak sighed, “see.. there was a third Necris on board.. a blaidenmaiden called FrayLizz.. after we took off, she piloted the ship back to our home world.”
    “Wow”, Visse mumbled, “I’m impressed. Where was she hiding?”
    “In the left wing..”
    “Say what?”

    Visse walked up to the front gate, followed by the other Necris, Agouba, Ygian, the Iceskaarj and George.
    She never noticed the large ship on the other side of the rock. Slowly they entered the ship.
    The large, metal gate closed and it took off, back to Bouvaja.
    Ygian noticed Visse staring at him. He didn’t like it one bit. What the hell was she up to? He’d better start watching his back from now on.

    Two days later.
    The docking bay. Visse leaned against the rail of the shiny, large platform, watching many ships arriving and leaving Bouvaja. Countless creatures of countless races made their way down to the city.. like they did.. days ago.. years ago.. centuries ago? So much had happened, in so little time.
    “Like what you’re seeing?”
    “Oh hi Barak”, she smiled.
    “Better hold on that rail, we don’t want you to drop down to the surface, now do we?
    Visse stared at the clouds below her.
    “Don’t worry about me Barak, I’m feeling fine, if that’s what you’re asking.”
    “Say, we’re leaving in a couple of Kraylinnz. The ship is ready to go.”
    Visse looked at him.
    “Sure you want to leave today? We still have two days left..”
    “No I’m sure.. I miss home…”
    Laque joined them at the rail.
    “Ok boy and grrrl, time to go..”
    Neo was standing near the entrance of the ship.
    Visse walked up to him.
    ”So are feeling homesick as well?”, she asked.
    “Yeah… I guess. My boss will be happy though.. this sure makes for a great story.”
    “But .. it was .. an organised “trip”…”
    “Yes, but he doesn’t know that, now does he?”, Neo grinned.
    “Oh .. I see”, Visse smiled and winked.

    “Time to go peeps”, Visse shouted.
    “Shame George couldn’t be here today with us”, Visse sighed, “ he’s one heck of cool Skaarj.”
    “Yeah he had to guide another group of tourists trough Bouvaja today…”,R umiko whispered, “despite him calling me miss all the time.. he was no bad guy. I’ll miss him.”
    “Wonder if they’re planning on taking part at these Nali hunts as well?”, Visse mumbled.
    “Who knows? C’mon, let’s go.. Laque is waiting.”

    Visse turned around one more time. Slowly looking around the large docking bay…
    Then she turned around, and entered the ship.
    The hull closed and it took off, making lots of groaning noices.
    “We’re on our way guys/girls”, Barak shouted throught the intercom channel, “back to our home world.”
    “Don’t forget to make an intermediate landing at Space station “Fracyss Ura”..”, Rumiko yelled,” that’s where my ticket home is…”
    “Hm?”, Neo said.
    “My spaceship, you m0”, Rumiko hissed;
    ”Oh”.

    Space.
    Visse was sitting in room. A window showed her the beauty of the universe, as the light of hundreds of stars shined upon her. She had turned off the lights, enjoying the moment.
    The backpack was lying upon the table, opened. Visse was going through her souvenirs, precious memories of the “great adventure on Nalina”.

    **Beep**

    Someone at the door.
    “Yes”, Visse shouted.
    “It’s me Neoknight, can I come in?”
    “Sure why not.”
    The door opened, a soft humming sound. Neo walked in, noticed Visse sitting in a comfortable chair.
    A Nali cow jumped from her lap, running towards Neo.
    “Heh… I see you’ve taken the Nali cow with you?”
    “Yes I did”, Visse smiled, “ I like that little guy.. don’t know .. something about him I guess.”
    “Will it survive on our planet?”, Neo sighed.
    “I’ve been thinking about it… Maybe if I alter him a bit. I’ve heard stories about battle cows the Nalis used in the human/skaarj war.”
    “Battle cows?”
    “Yeah well.. cows with an attitude.”
    “Oh, you think this nice fellow here could .. be moulded into one of those..?”
    “He might”, Visse grinned, “I’ll make sure of it. He’s lost his mother I’m afraid. I’ll take good care of him.”
    The Nali cow farted.
    “Ewww...well.. it’s your cow”, Neo mumbled.
    “What about a name?”
    “A name.. yeah I’ve been thinking about one..”, Visse whispered.
    “Do you like Smydicu?”
    “Ack no Neo!”, Visse shouted,” that’s a horrible name!”
    “Yeah you’re right.. sorry about that…”
    “I don’t know.. he’s got an attitude, he’s silly..”
    “Sharky?”
    “NO!”
    “Boomblebee?”
    “Nah… not really..”
    “Stinky?”
    Visse laughed.
    “Seriously…”
    “Hicky..”
    “Yeah I like that one.. I’ll think about it though”

    Neo took a seat.
    “Say, you’re still not mad at that guy Ygian for not letting you take those skins home right?”
    “No”, Visse mumbled,” I mean.. those are the property of Nalina.. I guess.”
    “Oh, cause.. I guess you’re probably a very vindictive woman …?”
    Visse showed a weird smile.
    “You don’t know me THAT well, now do you Neo?”
    “Guess not”, Neo sighed.
    “Anyway, since I couldn’t take those Nali skins with me.. I got something else instead..”
    “What?”
    “Get out of your chair”, she smiled, “ and walked up to the chair at the far end of the table.
    Neo frowned, and did what Visse asked of him.
    Visse closed her eyes, listening to Neo’s footsteps.
    “You know Neo, you’re probably right”, she said, whilst giggling,” I’m a very vindictive person…I wanted a Nali skin.. I really did. I mean.. think off all the energy we’ve put into that adventure… We need a trophy right?”
    “Yeah.. hey what is Ygian doing here?”
    Visse laughed out loud when she heard Neo’s muffled cry.

    The ship disappeared into the sea of stars, making it’s way home.. to Necron.
     
  18. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    Yay a NaliWarCow!!! Thx much for stealing my idea :) The ending kind of suprised me, i didnt expect something like that. You surprised us.. I think everyone can agree with me on that. Congratulations on finishing it, its an excellent story.
     
  19. Zenda

    Zenda Turbo Adept+10%

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    The beginning of a new millenium ... post 1001

    I never would have thought, when I joined this forum, that I was 1000 posts away from congratulating someone ... whos work I have come to appreciate and admire over the past few months ... on the event of nobly concluding work No.2. Well done. It was such a relief for me to finally get to read those last parts. I've been very caught up with you know what these last few days. Very confusing time. Things seem to be sorting ... and I have been able to chill out and have a great time reading these last parts. I think their effect will fully hit me in a little while when I go to bed.

    When Visse suddenly found herself alone ... and the buildup of her relationship with the Nali Cow. Neat:)

    Come to think of it, that Nali Cow was being woven into the plot quite a lot earlier. Yeh - Every character was given solidity so that when action happened, it was involving charaters I had already come to know and care about.

    I totally agree with what Phoenix has said about the skill with which you have been changing pace a lot and making it work. I personally think that part of what makes this work is this connectivity with the well-built charaters that I have been going on about. This story has been such a study in getting to know people. warts, poops and all.

    BTW, Phoenix, you said some very nice things about me -- this has really warmed my heart ... I'm very touched ... thanks:)

    And I do think It's the Unreal edition that you refer to. I'm definitely going to get it.


    Poetic turns of phrase were at the ready:
    --------------
    He felt the sleep throwing it’s heavy weight upon his eyelids and yawned.
    --------------

    And references to Unreal kept my nostalgia bubbling.
    --------------
    Agouba crouched, and the fruit of a Nali plant.

    Agouba fell to the floor, hands waving up and down
    --------------

    And I laughed out loud at
    --------------
    She still couldn’t believe what was happening. She slapped her hand against her head..
    This is so … unreal!
    -------------

    You are already getting us into the next story with that character you have posted the picture of. I think it's a great picture. I am assuming that you have now got your scanner?
    If so, then I am very much looking forward to seeing some more of your artwork - you've hinted that you do pictures. I'm curious.
    :) :tup:





    lafnboy: I notice you have been solid as a rock in this thread while Neo was getting those last parts written and posted - I kind of slipped underground while I was getting my own stuff sorted out. I'm not pleased with myself. Anyway, Much respect to you.

    And I'm very glad indeed that you have got the electric. The Fender squier is a good Guitar in my opinion. The first fret is the one closest to the bit where you tune it. I agree with Neo - you have been making a lot of progress. And putting int the time. At the risk of sounding obsessive, I'd say that 6 hours is a good practise time.

    One word of advice/warning: If the skin of a finger looks or feels like it is going to crack. then go VERY easy on that finger. Practicing up to the edge of endurance is something I'm OK about, but going beyond is no use ... you could suddenly find you can't practice at all because you've cracked the skin on the finger. You need to avoid that at all costs.

    Anything else you do can only make you stronger.

    ----------
    And hi there, Pine:)

    And Mohamz .... We've not said hello yet, but I've had a look at your posts ... Pleased to meet you:)
    ---------------



    Anyway ... that's me off to bed now. It's been really great to chill out on this thread.

    Again, fantastic story Neo - right at the end I got a sudden nice tingle ...ya see, I've had a thing about Freylis for more than a year, [I've even got a song somewhere in my mind that I'll write sometime:D] and there she is, [or someone like her] piloting the ship for the journey home.

    Anyway, goodnight and see you later:)
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2001
  20. Mohamz

    Mohamz Super SAIYA-JIN

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    Hiya! Pleased too!
    Looks like we are all wittnessing the emergence of a great writer.
    Nice work Neo! And I must agree with lafnboy: You have surprised us!

    I especially liked the thrilling part when she had only her evisceration knife and that Iceskaarj was nearing.
    And the end: Nali Skin :D

    I'm looking forward to the next story...
    And hello to all clubmates(club of NeoNite's fans :))
     
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