the story of the starship 'uss eternaty'

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: Prepare

Starlog: Prepare

Due to the lorged captains (I'm guessing hes lorged, I'm kinda drunk right now) it seems that we will be boared by the lorg army in around 40 something hours. This will give me a chance to test some new weapons I've been working on...

1. 20th centry SIG 551 with triple magazine attachments (found it in my stash of other 20th centry weapons)

2. Modified Anti-Pokemon toaster (I changed it over to recognize the patterns of lorg DNA so it will fry them better than ever!)

3. 4 15" subwoofer displacement system (uses massive sound waves to dismantle the brain of whatever its pointed at)

4. A pipe I found in my quarters

5. A crowbar which I also found in my quarters.

Thats everything new that I've been able to gather while we get ready for one hell of a fight against the lorgs it seems. I urge everyone to report to me at once and get ammo/supplies/weapons before its too late.


Also, what the hell was that yellow looking thing that made something smash agains the ship a while ago?

 

[Syri]

Transporter Chief's Log, Stardate : 5436487

wh?
I've just woke up in the corridor. I remember seeing the helmsman, and he reached out an arm towards me, and something touched my neck. Feels tingly...
>attempt lorg initialisation
>attempt connection to lorg hive
>disruption...
Oh no, I'm turning into a lorg! Help!
I'd better get to sickbay and see if the doc can help!

 

[henke]

Cyborg canonballs log. Stardate: 65.7.98

i just noticed that we have a huge fuel lekage made by some midgit aliens about the size of a bacteria.

just so that everyone is aware about this misshappening.


over n out

 

[8-4-7-2]

Tactical Officer's log Stardate 59821.5

I just wanted to go up to the bridge to continue my duty under the acting Captain Vortex, when I met D-Stroya.
He came running towards and shouted "You will be lorginated. Resistance is futile!". Taking this into consideration, togheter with the fact that he had s.th. like a Lorg implant across his face, I can only conclude that he was lorginated. NOOO! Another victim. How did this happen?
Before he caught me I managed to enter a turbolift and reached Beerbaron's weapon shop. All useful firearms were taken, so he gave only a 3 inch metal pipe.
At first I thought "Sh|t! Now I'm the next". But I was able to knnock down D-Stroya at our next encounter.
I brought him to sickbay. Maybe Doctor OShadow can help him!

Talking about the doc: When I stepped in he was just watching monkey porn. He put up a huge sreen, and the picture was projected through RizMan's eyes. What the heck was that? But before I could ask, he switched it off and tried to distract me with a report of his last dissection.
I thought he tried to contact Yellow5! If he isn't able to reach him, we might loose s.th. important. At least that's what the Q-like being said. I still wonder, what he meant...

 

[Yellow5]

(you sense a rip in the fabric of time....)

The Stars... Yes the stars.

My last riddle, and it's important you get this one correct. The fate of your ship and your crew depend on the answer given.

"The beginning of eternity
The end of time and space
The beginning of every end,
And the end of every place"

 

[coolbrz73]

Astrometrics Officer's Log
Stardate:4234241

ALERT!! ALERT!!

I must inform the captain of my findings!
I fell asleep in my lab only to be awakened by all kinds of alert signals!!!
First and foremost was the lorg speach that I overheard, I believe all on the ship know of this threat though.
Also, I have gotten some readings from the planet of casperia prime. It seems the force field thingy opened fire upon the redlight district with mammoth destructions. The armada dropped its force field to fire upon the planet and it truly is without a doubt a hirogian fleet!!!

They are now moving away from the planet, it seems they are assemblying for something!!! A few steps need to be taken and the captain has to make the decision but I recommend..

1.Switching to red alert
2.Getting everyone back on ship and in battlestations
3.Preparing henke in case we need him.
4.We gotta get ready for the lorg boarding party also...

[INCOMING ALERT] AlERT ENEMY VESSELS ON DUE COURSE WITH THE USS ETERNATY!!!
[END OF ALERT]

DOH!! Now what....
It seemms to be some sort of pyramid lorg vessel just entered our scan area. Ive heard that the hirogian and lorg were at war but this looks to be an all out effort against the eternaty!!!

[Supplemental]
[Sending Message to Ambassador Bozo]
Bozo...you there?...If so we need to know if the ship you are trying to reach is friendly and willing to help us...please respond...[End Of Transmission]

[Supplemental 2]
I am heading up to the bridge to speak with the captain and helmsman about our dire situation!!!

[Supplemental 3]
God help us......

 

[CaSCaDe]

>start transmission sequence
>
>>sequence started
>
>send previous recorded file
>
>>state file name
>file name: bordingtime
>
>>filename accepted
>>state destination
>destination: uss eternaty
>
>>destination accepted
>
>preview speach file
>
>>audio speach file preview initiated
>
>This is bocutas of lorg
>
>you will be boarded in t minus 10.667 hours
>
>>end of speach file
>
>send message
>
>>awaiting comfirmation of arrival
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>Arrival comfirmed

 

[RizMan]

Helmsman RizMan's log, stardate 456489.97

I'm so thankfull to the Hirogen we have here on board. Althought I don't know his intentions and if he is our friend or foe, but he saved my live.
Though I'm still weakened from the lorganization process, facing the number of ennemies heading towards us, the doctor allowed me to leave sickbay and go to the bridge.

Astrometrics offices Coolbrz73 asked me to join him to make up a plan, in case we won't be able to face the ennemy fleet and thus having to escape. He discovered a class 3 nebula in a system laying 3.4 lightyear away from our actual position. It would be a good hiding spot. The only problem is, how to get there. The lorg are coming from 298.69*75.36 and the hirogen fleet from the exact opposite direction. There's also this unknow vessel coming toward us. However, we still don't know if it's friend or foe.
The fastest way out would be to use a standard Omega 3 escape maneuver, but if the lorg keep their current route, the omega 3 maneuver would lead us right next to the lorg fleet. Perhaps we could pass at 50000km from them, but that's far to dangerous.
The safest option is to use a improved version of the picard maneuver I just came up with. We could warp jump just in front of the Hirogen fleet, thus they would fire at us. Then, I would immediately warp jump away so that their torpedos would head for the lorg fleet thus distract the lorg from us and giving us an advantage over the lorg. They will defeat the hirogen in no time and follow us, but we would already almost have arrived at the nebula. They can't find us there, until we find a plan to rescue the Captain.

This will be hard for me to handle cause it needs a lot of precise timing, but I know I can make it. It's the safest way out. I don't see any other possibilities. However, FO got to decide what to do. He's the acting captain.

After discussing this with coolbrz, I went to beerbaron and got me a weapon. I managed to get a phaser, modified to modulate it's frequency at every shot, so that the lorg force fields can't adapt to them. This is a hell of a weapon.

What is that, Red alert, all men to battle stations...

End Log

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: Hmm...

Starlog: Hmm...

I think I have an idea to fend off the lorg attack. Using my computer, I can hack into the hirogens main ship, change their IFF (tells a good guy from a bad one) to recognize us as friendly ship class 3 (highest class) and recognize the lorg ship as primary target of destruction. This might give us a chance to get out of here in one piece.


Also, I have made another melee weapon, its a sword composed out of highly strung nanites that sense the fabric of the real sword which helps it never to become dull, and they constantly sharpen it. Also, due to the nanites, it glows in the dark.

Another weapon: Subach HL-7, has the ability to disrupt enemy shields (ship or man-carried) and penetrates the hull or skin of the target.

Finally, some WP in a can. Shake well, throw, run. You DO NOT WANT TO GET ANY of this on you. First, you will be poisened, then your skin melts off. Just thought I would let ya know that.

/me looks at his watch.

Damn, 9-10 more hours before the lorgs attack, oh well, I just hope my plan works

 

[Vortex]

acting captain's log

I have recieved notification from our Astrometrics officer that enemy ships are closing on our location and that they belong to both Lorg and Hirogen fleets. This is definetely not good. It is unusual for the Lorg to work alongside other races. Anyway, I doubt that even the Eternaty will be able to survive this scale of attack. I fear the worst, so I have sent a message to starfleet hoping that they will give us some help.

I doubt that even henke would be able to dispose of this threat but nonetheless I have ordered him into the specially designed henke-launcher (standard torpedo tubes are too small) and wait to be fired. I aslo did some research and discovered that the huge beign that caased the smash is known as Yellow5 and that it has given us another riddle to solve or else we will face the consequences.

Log aborted (high levels of stress detected)

 

[Thar T'Pak [=AA=]]

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

After hacking into some log files, I have discovered that the prey are trying to pull the armada into the fight.

Do these fools not realize we are all fighting the same entities here?!?!?!?!

I contacted the armada to pull back and give the Eternaty some room to maneuver. The armada confirmed my order and is preparing to warp out. At least they will be safe.

The crew seems in chaos again. They are all running around, grabbing anything the can use as a weapon. I saw some &*^% run by with a chicken. Some prey just don't get it.

I found a few more lorganized crew members. I dispatched them with relative ease. It seems that the senior crew members are not realizing the disease is spreading amongst the junior members. Well, when this can is overrun I am out here. I cannot fight a war for these prey.

I head down to their weapons bay. There weapon prey was there handing out weapons. I even saw him pull a pipe from a wall and give it to a junior prey. What the hell, worse he can do is shoot me.

I de-cloaked in fron tof him and, in my best prey-ese said "I am here to help"

Sounded more like I am here to fart, but lets not get into trivialities between my language and theirs.

I handed him a few Hirogen weapons that I had to spare, re-cloaked and ran towards the bridge.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

 

[CaSCaDe]

>start transmision sequence
>>sequence started
>
>set time index t minus 5 hours
>
>>time index set
>
>send time index
>
>>state destination
>destination: uss eternaty main brige
>>destination comfirmed
>
>>time index send
>
>bypass securaty grid to display time index on main view screen
>>securaty bypass tru main computer core
>
>>time now display on destinations main view screen
>

 

[RizMan]

Helmsman RizMan's log, stardate 78946.67

While I was sitting on my console to prepare for the upcoming battle, the turbolift opened and the wavy air guy, still cloaked step out of it. He then uncloaked and yelled at us:
"You stupid preys, you're fools. Can't you see that our fleet is trying to help you. Do you really think we would try to kill you, while our worst ennemy, the Lorg, is heading toward us. Why do you think did I save your helmsman and the others from Lorganization"
Well I thought, that gives us a new ally. I knew there was something good about this hirogen. That makes the maneuver I came up with unnecessary. I hope the hirogen are really going to help us. Whatever happens, I will keep an escape flight route programmed into the computer.
Also, the Main view screen, which showed the Lorg fleet heading towards us until now, turned black and then a countdown popped up on the screen. We have now about 4.52 minutes left until the lorg attack.

I hope we'll be able to rescue the captain and then finish these lorg. May the allmighty Q-like being, lord of all monkey p0rn and most feared ennemy of the llamas, yellow5 be with us.

End Log

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: Here we go...

Starlog: Here we go.

After coming into contact with the hirogen hunter guy, I have found out its really on our side. It even gave me some weapons which I have been trying to get working. Dammit, I think I should find him and see how these damn things work. Oh well. We've got bigger lorg-fish to fry now that the attack is almost here. Oh, never mind the melee weapons except the glowing sword, I don't think they're gonna be anyhelp against the lorg. Just use my energy and bullet based weapons.

 

[Syri]

Transporter chief's log, Stardate 34643763

I've just been cleared by the doc as no longer being lorg, so I can now return to active duty. funny thing is, I can still hear them in my head, they just have no influence on me anymore. I only catch the odd bits of conversation, but it's a start. This ability may be of some use in fighting the lorg, so I shall report to the acting captain to inform him.

[supplemental]
I actually heard captain cascade's voice in the lorg speak! he called himself bocutus of lorg. Believe me, you do not want to know what his plans were for the ship with the women on!

[supplemental 2]
I'm off to the mess hall for a coffe, then I'll head to the bridge. I might call in to security first to pick up a weapon though.

 

[coolbrz73]

Dammit man. I'm an astrometrics officer, not a warrior!!

I have something of a plan that I was going to throw at the captain. We also need to contact the wavy air guy for his help. As most(I hope) of you remember I have my ship docked up to the eternaty. If we could devise a plan to pull off something to the effect of the Panzer Blade battle, I think we can win. I will have to talk to Teleporter officer D-Stroya about this though. We also need Bozo here to communicate with the hirogian fleet and also to talk with the wavy air guy. I can fly my redeemer around the armada, filled with nihilistic(sp?) crystal to make it a virtual bomb, then at the right moment, set it to autopilot and be transported back to the eternaty, what we need to do is have this vehicle cloaked so it wont be fired upon by the lorg, so this is where the hirogian come into play. We need thier technology to cloak my vessel. Once my ship is in the vicinty, we fire henke upon thus creating an atomic bomb in a crude form. With help from the hirogian fleet to keep the lorg vessel busy and the correct timing this might work. I await the acting captain at the bridge. I know this manevuer is what we have done in the past but it is all I can come up with at this time

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog:Hmm...

Starlog: Hmm...

I also have an idea. I think I can get into the main lorg computer that controls subspace and regular engines, and insert their main subspace cooling rod into the main engines, thus causing a huge reactor meltdown in the subspace drive, flinging them off into a set location picked by me or someone else, thus getting rid of them. I just hope it works.

Also, I like the idea of using henke as a bomb like thing. I'm continuing trying to find the hirogen hunter guy and see what we can do about the cloaked ship. I already have a cloaking device, but its only for an average size human.

 

[Vortex]

acting captain's log 0970897 (or thereabouts)

Oh good! We no longer need ht help of starfleet as it turns out that hirogen hunter that was fooling about with our ship is actually on our side which means we now only have the lorg to take care of. I just met with coolbrz73 who has a plan which he says is based on what the crew of the Panzer Blade did back at Casperia. It does sound kind of risky but it might just work. Anyway, it's not me that's flying right into the middle of the Lorg fleet (I hope)!

I also like beerbaron's idea but we do have to remember one thing. Our captain, although in Lorg form, is aboard one of these ships and if there is any chance of retrieving him and restoring his humanity then we can't risk losing him. s a display of my loyalty, I would be happy to beam onto a Lorg ship and take them all out singlehandedly if it came to that. Or if I was really desperate to become a Lorg. Now I must head of and arm myself .

End log.

 

[Butress]

ILL-TEMPERED COOK'S LOG stardate 56096

Man this ship is a friggin circus. Crew is runnin back and forth in my damn kitchen like ants on a sidewalk. It is really gettin' annoying. Some sh!t aboot invasions and lorg and blah, blah, blah. Jus' watch yerself in my kitchen.

I think I've been seeing things again to. I was cookin up some of my special pizza pies the other day when the air around the table got all wavy and the friggin pizza diappeared. Well i reckon pizza don't just up and take off by it self, so I been swingin every thing i got at any wavy air that I see. Too bad for the kitchen help. When I saw the hot air comin off the ovens, well I just up and took a hack at it, a couple hacks actually. I busted up my lil heppers pretty bad. And I think the Doc disected one of them. Crazy ole sawbones.

ILL-TEMPERED SUPPLEMENTAL
Some of the crew had been wonderin' about that loud a$$ "smash" that they heard not too long ago. Well, I have to say that I'm partly responsible. You see, One of my specialties is Roast Monkey. I store my monkeys back in the furthest corner of the food storage unit in a cage. No one ever sees to them but me. Now, since monkeys are not all that easy to come by, I have to follow a strict breeding and replentishing program. When I first started this program, I was approached by this rather large being that resembled a monkey head. He threatened me with instant death if I did not allow him to view my monkeys "doin' the happy smash" as he called it. Well of course I complied but I said he could ONLY WATCH. In return for my compliance he said he would bless my rolling pin to always be hard and true. Well, it was the last time Y5, as he calls himself, visited, that the infamous "smash" occured. It knocked me down, it was so powerful, and I was two decks away. When I finally made my way to the storage area I found Y5 still engrossed in the monkeys and a large dent in the front of the cage. Y5's story is that the monkeys tried to get out of the cage and come to him, thus causing the noise. I secretly believe that the sound and the dent came from something much more gruesome. I believe that Y5 produced the dent himself by smashing his genitals against it.(thus the sound) Now I did not mind our little arrangement before....but now this is getting a bit too disruptive to the crew. I don't know if being the Resident Monkey Pimp is the best thing but I kind of have to bow the the almight-Q-like being, whoever he is.

ILL-TEMPERED ADVICE FOR THE DAY

Never, never become the Resident Monkey Pimp for Yellow5

 

[Siledre]

I am lifeform Zyltzmuphin, I know the answer to this riddle but the fate of your good ship is inconsequential to my innate happiness. I will give you a clue though. You need to read too much into it.