the story of the starship 'uss eternaty'

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Neo Skinz

Shinobi of the wind<br><img src="http://www.greer9
Apr 14, 2000
825
0
0
Northern Ireland
www.neo-skinz.co.uk
Communication Officers Log : Stardate 108015

Well most people are now returning to the Eternaty now. After a relaxing vacation everyone is getting back to their posts and awaiting orders.

Whats this...
Just recieved a transmission from a nearby ship. A survivor in an escape pod has been found in the wreckege of the Panzer Blade!

I'll beam the survivor straight to sickbay right away. I'll request that the pilot of the ship comes aboard, I want to thank him personaly for saving one of my ex crew members.

[End Log]
 

Syri

Who are you calling short?
Aug 18, 2000
4,650
32
48
45
Nottingham, England
Personal Log - Stardate something begining with ... oh what the hell?!

Hooray! I've been saved! I'm now on board the USS Eternaty, recieving medical treatment. Although I'm surprised the holographic doctor is treating me. Maybe the others are on the planet?
I should be OK in a short time, and I can't wait to get back to duty. As the ship I was on got destroyed, I might see if any posts exist on this ship. Hmm, do they have a transporter chief I wonder? I quite enjoyed that job...

[supplement]
I wonder if any other survivors from the Panzer Blade are on board the Eternaty? I hope my good friend Neo_Skinz survived

[supplement 2]
I wonder why this ship smells of pizza? And what was that shimmering in the air just then? [sigh] it looks like things could get a little wierd, or have already.
 

coolbrz73

New Member
Apr 30, 2000
167
0
0
PA,USA
Personal Log Stardate:3535326627

The person I picked up from the wreckage has been beamed aboard the Uss Eternaty!!! I think he will turn out just fine. I was invited to board the ship. I docked up to the eternaty and am now inside the loading dock area. I think I will wonder around for a little bit as I dont see any welcoming party:( Maybe they are busy with repairs!

[intercepted message]
...Thar T'pak...ship on way...autopilot engaged...ETA 16 days......
...report on prey....encounters....Third Triad out...
[end of message]

Hmmm, ive heard of those bastards somewhere..real annoyances, dont know what that was about yet.
I gotta find someone to get me up to speed on the situation here and see if I can find any info on the accursed Capt.Dickard.

[Supplemental]
Is that pizza and beer I smell? It seems to be everywhere. What the hell is going on in this ship? I gotta find the Captain or a commanding officer.
 

OshadowO

Irregular
Feb 10, 2000
4,775
0
36
CA
Medical Officer's Log
Stardate: Get me the hell out of Casperia Prime!!
Oh great god of the two necked and one eyed zenotopian lab mouse! I almost became lunch for the britaney spears monster. She used her annoying voice and cheesy lyrics to subdue me and cast a spell upon me. I found myself moving rythymically to the lyrics, moving, doing the oggah boogah dance. Thank god for the oodle doodle poodle which too must have found it annoying. It started yapping and then charged at britaney getting a mouthful of breast. Britaney's horrendously melodious tunes were replaced by a shriek of "OH NO MY SILICONES!" as she began to stave off the oodle doodle poodle. I saw my chance an made my escape back to the ship. Just in time to because we had a new survivor from the panzer come aboard. They were going to take him to the stupid hologrpahic thingimajig doctor, but I got there in time. Who knows what that hologram would give the poor ensign D'stroya. I treated him and gave him a prescribtion too take five pills, six times a day. It doesn't matter what pill as long as it is a pill that is green. Menawhile I turned off the holo doctor and erased him from the memory banks. This ship is big enuff for only one of us. I have also notcied Rizman looking at me funny lately. I wonder whats bugging him? Maybe he wants to hump me...oh no, I have hump a phobia...I hope his intentions aren't that. Lastly my oodle doodle poodle that I had bought for the captain is missing. I must find it. Some crew member said something about seeing it runnig behind a wavy air thing trying to hump it's foot. Damn I hope there really isn't a hunter aboard this ship. Those poodles are allergic to them hunters. If they hump the hunter enough times they become hunter seeker doodles and become really nasty. They don't nip at people's asses anymore they bite!
Doctor OshadowO out.
 

RizMan

rizm0
Jan 7, 2000
750
0
0
Luxembourg
cgi.ethz.ch
Helmsman RizMan's Log, stardate 98765.43

Last night, while I was heading for my quarters, I met the doctor and his hoodle doodle poodle. He looked at me in a quite suspicious way. I think he knows that I suspect him of wanting to infect henke with this "Kill all the crewmembers of the Eternaty so I can dissect them" Virus. I still don't trust this guy. Just look at him all these weird habits he has. But who knows, he's possibly a nice guy, perhaps I should talk to him a while to get to know him better.
We were hailed by a person called coolbrz73 (sp?). He rescued an old crewmember of the Panzer Blade. Neo_Skinz invited him Coolbrz onboard to thank him for rescuing his old friend without the captain's permission: I hope he knows what he does, as we don't know about coolbrz's intentions. We already have a wavy air thing here, no need for a second threat. Oh man, I gotta go to see the shrink, I'm really suffering from paranoia dirung the last few days. I can't trust anybody I don't know.

I'm wondering if nobody managed to recruit a female crew member on Casperia Prime. I don't want to have holosex for the next weeks it's not the same thing. However, the advantage of holosex is that you can do whatever you want with the girl, she never complains :)

I heard that repairs are going on well and should be finished in a few days. We will finally be able to continue our journey. I'm wondering if Chief Engineer did manage to solve the packet loss problem with the helms console. The ship wasn't reliable during the last battle du to long response times between the console and the impulse drive.
Perhaps their's a problem with the plasma connectors in the console.
No I'm gonna rest for a while.

End Log
 

8-4-7-2

New Member
Mar 6, 2000
6,962
0
0
43
Germany
Lt. Cmd. 8-4-7-2's log Stardate hunting time

I thought I saw the wavy air Hirogen hunter guy in the corridor straight ahead. Well it was "only" Lt. RizMan who wanted to help me hunting it down. I wonder how he was able to see me,as I used one of Security Chief Beerbaron's cloaking device's. Perhaps they don't work perfectly. Now Lt. RizMan and I wander through the ship on search for the wavy air guy. I'm sure we can make the kill!

Supplemental
Lt. Commander Jennyway, First Officer of the USS Panzer Blade, is still missing. I'm sorry to hera this, as we still don't have female crewmembers. To compensate a resulting disadvante, I bought a awesome holodeck programm on Casperia: "Vulcan Love Slave - Part II". As soon as i have some free time, I'll try it out.

Supplemental II
Lt.Cmd. Neo_Skinz managed to rescue Ensign D-Stroya, another survivor of the Panzer Blade. He currently recovers in sickbay and waits for an assignment. Doctor OShadow0 has deleted our EMH, because he thinks that he can treat everone with his Voodoo stuff. I still don't trust him!

Ensign D-Stroya stated that he was the Transporter Chief of the Panzer Blade. We could also need a cook, and an ambassador. In addition I still vote for giving Skumboys's position as Science Officer to s.o. else. D-Stroya should talk to Captain Cascade or other crewmembers for a position.

[END LOG]
 

CaSCaDe

gaem freak in 3 dimensions
Apr 7, 2000
817
0
16
43
somewhere you are not!
www.bart.ahk.nl
claptlainls llogl slstardalaet : HIK!

wlehr ru eil of u guiys?
abondonign youitre calpatialn isn noitl verylk nicewa is isda?
(BONK)
(3,56 hours time out)

Ah man i have a head acke over here!!!
those drinkhere r to good!!!!
i think acording to the pool of vomit i'm lying in (EUWH!) i have been drunk from the beginning i got here! damn i ques my cre must be wandering where the heck i am?

wait a minute!
where is m crew i dont see them ne ware?
have ther left me behind on this planet somehow?
how is that possible?
leaving your captain on a planet?

i will try yto hail them?
they cant leave me here?
get me out of here i hate this planetr!!!!!!!

CaSCaDe out
 

Vortex

My last status sucked
Jan 19, 2000
1,457
0
0
42
Planet Express
Visit site
Commander's log stardate I still don't know

Repairing my shuttle is proving harder than I thought. For starters I have to fix it underwter as I don't have anything to use to pull it to the surface. Still, I've managed to get the proplulsion back online so I'mgoing to try to get this thing to surface.

.......
..........

Ah, that's better I can take this diving gear off now! I do have another problem though, it appears that the replicator has been continuously replicating beer since I crashed over a week ago. I'll have to get an engineer to have look at that when I get back.

Hold on, I think I just saw CaSCaDe staggering around drunk over there. I haven't seen him in a long time. He must think we've left.

End log.
 

Bozo=MD=

Official BuF-clown
Aug 7, 2000
342
0
0
Sweden
Visit site
Personal log, Stardate 000822.1

Ahh, nu har jag äntligen lyckats göra mig av med min förre arbetsgivare, Khuul T'Pak. Den ärkenöten! Jag tackar min lyckliga stjärna att jag, genom list, smicker, och kontanter, lyckades övertala de 10 underbara feminoiderna på Casperia Prime att supa ner honom och älska honom till döds.
Jag har strålat mig ombord på skeppet USS Eternaty. Jag hoppas här finna en säker hamn (ha, ha), långt från slaveri och köpekontrakt. Ingen ska äga mig igen, så sant som jag heter Bozo. Jag är fri! FRI! Mwuahahahahaha!!! Eh... Hmm...
Jag undrar om det finns en ledig tjänst ombord som diplomat/tolk. Jag borde fråga. Jag behärskar ju trots allt alla kända språk och kulturer i den kända delen av universum.


[UniTrans - on]
Attention all shoppers! Erm... Hrm... <cough> I wish to meet your Captain. My name is Bozo, of the family =MD=, and I come in peace <ack, ack>. I have recently lost my former employer...er...due to...hrm...unfortunate circumstances on the planet Casperia Prime.
I have taken the liberty to spybeam myself onboard, and I find your fine ship impressive. I do hereby wish to offer my services. I am fully educated in all the cultures and customs in the known parts of the universe, and I do belive that I, through wits and other measures, can adapt to any of the cultures that are to be found in the other parts of the universe. I have experience in working as a translator, lawyer, and diplomat. I am also good at extracting information from subjects that refuse to speak.
Do you have a need of my services, or shall I spybeam back to the planet of Casperia Prime?
[UniTrans - off]


Jag hoppas att jag äntligen kan finna en arbetsgivare som uppskattar min kompetens, och inte enbart använder mig för att finna objekt att projicera sina sexlustar på...

[Log - end]
 

Bozo=MD=

Official BuF-clown
Aug 7, 2000
342
0
0
Sweden
Visit site
Personal log, Stardate 000822.2

[UniTrans - on]
Oh, one more thing. I just wanted to point out to you that I wish you no harm.
[UniTrans - off]

Mwuahahahahaha...!
Erm...
Doh!

[UniTrans - on]
Honest... I don't...
[UniTrans - off]

[Log - end]
 
Personal Log - Stardate 2000.08.22.11.18.32.214

Well, I finally found the rest of the crew, and not a moment too soon. It seems everyone was returning to the ship and preparing to leave Casperia Prime. I've already analyzed two crewmembers since beaming on-board. The first was the ship's doctor Oshadow, who apparently has an obsession with dissecting everything that moves. After several hours of therapy and questions about his past, I learned that several years ago, he had a pet Oodle Doodle Poodle, which met a rather tragic fate at the hands of a demented veterinarian. I'm certain that this is the origin of his obsession, but I'm still working on a possible method to actually treat him.
My second victim ... erhm ... patient was the ship's Helmsman, RizMan. He's seems to be suffering from a severe paranoia streak. He thinks everyone on the ship is out to get him. I'm surprised actually, that he even found the courage to come talking to me, seeing as how he doesn't even know me. In any case, I gave him some BS about this being normal for crewmembers that are under a lot of stress. I then suggested that he spend some time on the holodeck in a target practicing simulation, (I think it's more commonly referred to as 'Deathmatch') as this is for most people, and excellent stress relief technique.
 

8-4-7-2

New Member
Mar 6, 2000
6,962
0
0
43
Germany
Lt.Cmd. 8-4-7-2's log Stardate 512255.5

I didn't find any signs of the wavy air guy on the ship. So I abanndoned the hunt and went back to my room for a little rest.(I will continue the hunt later). After this a noticed that new crewmembers are willing to join us:

We recieved some subspace communications from somone calling himself "Bozo". From this transmission we can conclude that he will be an excellent ambassador/diplomat.

Then we were hailed by Raptor. He wants to become Chief Engineer. However I must inform him that we already have a Chief Engineer: Temporary Account. Perhaps Raptor didn't read all of our logs!

When walking through the cooridors a ran into coolbrz73. He is the stranger who saved Ensign D-Stroya from the USS Panzer Blade. He told me that he wants to take revenge on Captain Dickard who killed his family or something.

I'm sure we will find a position for them. We desperatly need a cook. And I will go talk to Captain CaSCaDe and recommend him to give Skumboy's (who is missing) position as Science Officer to somone else.
 

Butress

The Bearer of Humpage
Jan 13, 2000
302
0
0
Visit site
Recently-fired cooks log stardate 9456548.2

Well, I been flingin' thru space fer a darn long time. That awright tho.

I'm much better since I been to Casperia Prime.
It sho had been awahl since i put the ole meatloaf in the oven and had my kettles emptied.

That last bastid captian that sent me away won't be follerin'. I reckon that the next time he thinks about tellin someone that his meal tastes like the bottom of a lagoon, he'll look at that cleaver size gash acrost his gut and think twice.
Insult me i'll laugh at ya, insult my food and well, RUN!
Lucky fer me the crew liked mah cookin enough to stash provisions for my unplanned trip. That stupid captian was jest fired up cuz he caught me with his lady. (I never could refuse a lady a fillin' meal ;))

Enough bull, I gotta get mah culinary carcass off CP and out lookin' for a new job. I guess I should fire up my beacon. I sounds like a dinner bell, so when folk here it, I reckon they knows its me.
 

8-4-7-2

New Member
Mar 6, 2000
6,962
0
0
43
Germany
URGENT MEMO TO CAPTAIN CASCADE

After the newest crewmen cam on board I made a list with possible positions. Hereby I request you to confirm it.

Ensign D-Stroya: Transporter Chief
Butress: cook
Bozo: ambassador

Then we must still find positions for Raptor and coolbrz73.

We could also need somone who sits all the day in our new astrometrics lab and scans for something. And we need a Science Officer as replacement for Skumboy. (Note: he hasn't made a post since page 5).

I hereby also ask the mentioned people and the rest of the crew for advice! If somone isn't pleased with his position he should tell it.
 

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]

New Member
Mar 2, 2000
58
0
0
Urbandale, IA USA
Stardate 98753987563465.0002

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

It has been a few days. I have been subsisting on Peezza a schplam in the captain's quarters. Things have been quiet, though I hear there is another rescue that occurred. Silly prey.

Someone tried contacting me on a subspace channel epsilon/delta/squarsh priority channel. I ignored it. I figure when I am ready I'll contact the rest of the armada waiting outside of this ship's scanner range. They'll probably be sending another scout in soon anyway.

I have been chased by some inane creature wishing to use my leg as a secretion post. I kicked it squarely in the horashgar. It ran away squealing like a stuck prey.

I had a feeling that I was being stalked. I switched my vision scanner to a couple of different spectrums.

Chuckle, a couple of the prey are stalking me. I managed to make it up a tube before they could truly catch me.

After a nice stretch, I stopped back up on the bridge and sat down in where the prey in charge of scientific collaboration normally sits. I punched a few buttons, worked a couple of formulas and left the blueprints to some personal Hunter weapons in the ships computer. A little gift to make things interesting.

ohh I also intgroduced a Hunter AI into the computer. Now these prey will know what it is like to be alive on a rollercoaster ship to the Omega quadrant.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.
 

Syri

Who are you calling short?
Aug 18, 2000
4,650
32
48
45
Nottingham, England
Transporter Chief's log : Stardate somebodt please get me a new pad

I've been un-officially(sp?) offered the post of transporter chief! I can hardly believe it! Obviously, the little transporter incident at the academy has now been removed from my record (thank goodness!)
I've left the sickbay now. The doctor did some weird voodoo type dance, and gave me some pills. He said to take them 5 times a day. I don't trust him though, he seems to have a strange fascination with scalpels, and the holo doctor had already treated me anyway, I was just recovering!
Anyway, I'm going to my quarters for some rest, and I think I'll see if I can get my position confirmed later
 

Butress

The Bearer of Humpage
Jan 13, 2000
302
0
0
Visit site
ILL-TEMPERED COOK'S LOG stardate 56093

after circling the stinkin' Eternaty for friggin' ever, them feller's finally let me dock.

I was met by TO 8-4-7-2, who ever heared of a name o' numbers anyway, he seem awlright....fer a officer.

With some other new recruits hoverin around, TO sent me down to check out the digs, which I quickly dubbed, "The Ole Slop Bucket." (the name don't really do her justice. she's nice and purdy and is pretty darn near brand, spankin new.) I reckon I could sling pies outa here slicker that scum off a louisiana swamp. (no clue what that means, heard from a recording of ancient musical styles, has kind of a ring to it)

I reckon this crew is a bit partial to the pie, too. The hole place reeks of pizza, bad pizza at that. well, I reckon they'll like mine o.k. And if they don't, their tough luck. I've slung gruel thru some of the toughest wars this side gairdoin 10. (not that any of you young pups ever heard of that one.) You come to my table acting right, or i'll bounce yer arse out inta the corridor. I keep a cleaver handy, you'd better do the same with your fingers, ifn you get crossways with me.


ILL-TEMPERED SUPPLEMENTAL
today's friggin menu'

eggs, bacon, and coffee that'll curl yer hair.
(vegetarians can eat the friggin' napkins....with out ketchup)

roast monkey, bananas, beer
(monkey tastes purdy darn good, but only when cooked)

Za


ILL-TEMPERED ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

KISS MY @$$!!!
 

OshadowO

Irregular
Feb 10, 2000
4,775
0
36
CA
Medical Officers Log
Star Date: 3.4721329
Today was an interesting day. That damn head doctor Elrod asked me to meet him for a chat. I found it suspicious that the shrink was trying to be nice. Not two minutes into our conversation it was clear he was trying to figure me out and suggest I had head problems. Hah I fooled him. Gave him a cock and bull story about some oodle doodle poodle I had as a child that was dissceted by an insane vet. These head docs fall for anything. I'm not mad. A little twisted maybe but no definately not mad.
I was checking The ships medical data logs again to make sure nobody tried to restore the damn EMH again or is it EMT. Anyway Some idiot did replace the program. I opened it upand aaahhhhhh it's a hiryogen hunter armed with five dissecting knives and wearing one red boot and the other boot was shocking pink!!! A bisexual hirogen doctor!! HALP I'm outta here. Fortunately the thing cannot get out of the holodeck as I have trapped it there and shut the doors. I must tell the captain once. Where is the captain? And the commander. I still need to find that damn oodle doodle poodle. Where has it disappeared.
Medical Officer Out
Supplemental
I think i need to have a chat with Rizman. He has been giving me these looks. I need to inffrm him that his advances are not welcome and highly in appropriate in this professional atmosphere.
 
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