Ask me about being Jesus.

[Cap'n Beeb]

Dear Jesus, do monkeys have souls?

Of course they do. It's their souls that assist them in poo flinging.

Dear Jesus, where does the Pope get his weed, and can you hook me up?

It's actually oregano, he just acts high to be cool.

 

[John O'h Diggin]

Jesus, whats the point of having God in all of this when the only thing most people talk about is you?

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

People like having imaginary friends I guess. Or they've got a submission fetish and get off over having to obey rules and laws enacted by said imaginary friend, I don't know.

What I DO know is Dad just doesn't give a damn anymore, and all the prayers from Earth keep him awake all the time.

 

[Pontius Pilate]

Jesus,

Can you please send someone to pick me up? It's burning hot out here. I'm really sorry. The Pharisees were only kidding. Please?

-Pontius Pilate

 

[AizenSA]

hey Jesus,

how big is the father, some say his face is bigger than earth is this true?

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Jesus,

Can you please send someone to pick me up? It's burning hot out here. I'm really sorry. The Pharisees were only kidding. Please?

-Pontius Pilate

Call this number:

1-800-TAX-IFRU

hey Jesus,

how big is the father, some say his face is bigger than earth is this true?

5'6, 152lbs.

 

[Maxx]

Why did your parents call you Jesus? Beebus would have been much cooler IMO :tup:

 

[Agent_5]

Hell looks like New Jersey. In fact, it is New Jersey. Satan is 5'6, and 140lbs.

Could you perhaps supply a more detailed physical description of Satan?

 

[AriTheDog]

Jesus: A/S/L?

P.S. if you have a furcode please post!

 

[An1mus]

do you intervine in our lives? why?

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Could you perhaps supply a more detailed physical description of Satan?

One foot is a size larger than the other, he's missing his right pinky (poker game gone bad, so the rumor goes), brown eyes and blonde, thinning hair.

Jesus: A/S/L?

P.S. if you have a furcode please post!

2541/m/Tahiti I think u r yiffy n i want u 2 b knotty on me

do you intervine in our lives? why?

Yeah. I do simple things like help people find their car keys. It's just nice to do, and nobody likes missing keys.

 

[AizenSA]

One foot is a size larger than the other, he's missing his right pinky (poker game gone bad, so the rumor goes), brown eyes and blonde, thinning hair.

what about that whole giant demon thing you know red skin, black horns, goat feet, flaming trident. Why would people lie about his appereance?

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Faith and obedience through intimidation, of course.

 

[An1mus]

are there angels? two sexes or just one?if yes, how do female one's look like? is promiscuity allowed? ^^

 

[K.N.I.F.E]

Dear Jesus,

What's with the muslem terrorist? They don't have to go around killing people and exploding things. Can you open a can of whoop ass on them?

 

[DeeperShade]

.... go onto his post history and pick at random ....

Dear Jesus, Why does this moron still breath?

 

[LeGeNDaRy]

Dear Jesus,

What's with the muslem terrorist? They don't have to go around killing people and exploding things. Can you open a can of whoop ass on them?

 

[Breadtruck]

i do not mean to mock you all mighty one , but i think people don't believe in you!

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

are there angels? two sexes or just one?if yes, how do female one's look like? is promiscuity allowed? ^^

Yes, there are, and there are two sexes. They look however they want to look.

Dear Jesus,

What's with the muslem terrorist? They don't have to go around killing people and exploding things. Can you open a can of whoop ass on them?

Can you please not post anymore? Nobody likes you, I'm sad to admit.

i do not mean to mock you all mighty one , but i think people don't believe in you!
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That's fine with me.

 

[KiloDelta]

hey jes,

is it true? you know, the thing about the kittens and masturbation? can you ask the big guy about that?