Or something with baby seals and baseballbats, offcourse: drunk. It's allready a national sport in some countries.
Winter Olympics
- Thread starter QUALTHWAR
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lolNachimir said:Polar bear baiting. The person with the most limbs left wins, and the rest get to be in the special winter olympics from then on.
Genius
Right, I’ve been thinking about that one. I was going to post something about the seals, and ice fishing, and whaling.GMotha said:
The ice fishing would be an event where they are given rudimentary tools to work with like the cavemen used. They’d have a sharp bone to pick through the thick ice with, spears and bone hooks to catch fish with, and a time limit of 1 hour. The key option for this event would be that if a team hasn’t caught a fish before the last 5 minutes are up, they will be allowed to dive through the hole in the ice and swim for prey.
The whaling thing would have a pirate theme to it, of course. Each team has 1 day to catch a whale in Lake Superior. Teams who fail to catch anything will be executed by tying them to the yardarm and lashed to death. Not many will sign up for this one. Might be a better Special Olympics event.
Extreme Downhill Innertube Racing
Not on some moderate slope, but on an extremely angled hill that needs climbing gear just to scale. Just staying on the tube would be a challenge.
Innertube Rocket Racing
Strap some poor sap to an innertube and tie the other end of the rope to twin rocket sleds. Speeds would reach over 1650 miles per hour. Whoever survives wins a metal no matter what.
Drunken Naked Motorcycle Ice Racing
Huge cleats are the appeal with this one. Not just tire spikes, but the motorcycles are studded with as many spikes as they can fit on. Extra points for racers who survive without blood transfusions.
Not on some moderate slope, but on an extremely angled hill that needs climbing gear just to scale. Just staying on the tube would be a challenge.
Innertube Rocket Racing
Strap some poor sap to an innertube and tie the other end of the rope to twin rocket sleds. Speeds would reach over 1650 miles per hour. Whoever survives wins a metal no matter what.
Drunken Naked Motorcycle Ice Racing
Huge cleats are the appeal with this one. Not just tire spikes, but the motorcycles are studded with as many spikes as they can fit on. Extra points for racers who survive without blood transfusions.
Moose Castration
Teams have to work out a good gameplan to sneak up on a mature male moose and castrate him using only a swiss army knife.
Angry Yak Milking
Yaks are infected with rabies and teams have to subdue angry female yaks enough to get one once of milk. Extra points for getting milk out of male yaks. I said “milk.”
Teams have to work out a good gameplan to sneak up on a mature male moose and castrate him using only a swiss army knife.
Angry Yak Milking
Yaks are infected with rabies and teams have to subdue angry female yaks enough to get one once of milk. Extra points for getting milk out of male yaks. I said “milk.”
Cadaver Rafting
Frozen human cadavers are tied together to make a raft. Rafts use a cadaver as a rudder to steer with and roar down icy rivers to the finish line.
Frozen human cadavers are tied together to make a raft. Rafts use a cadaver as a rudder to steer with and roar down icy rivers to the finish line.
You've obviously been watching too much Simpsons....ArcadiaVincennes said:I think cadaver luge might be more interesting.
Radical High Altitude Baking
Teams have radical bake-off on 10,000 foot mountaintop. Armed only with the ingredients to make a soufflé and a scientific calculator, they must do extreme calculations to convert baking times for high altitude cooking. As the soufflé rises, bombs go off all around them in an effort to burst the delicate integrity of the crust. Oh, and they have to do this one drunk as well. I mean, why not?
Teams have radical bake-off on 10,000 foot mountaintop. Armed only with the ingredients to make a soufflé and a scientific calculator, they must do extreme calculations to convert baking times for high altitude cooking. As the soufflé rises, bombs go off all around them in an effort to burst the delicate integrity of the crust. Oh, and they have to do this one drunk as well. I mean, why not?
Thin Air Hang Gliding
Teams must attempt hang gliding at extremely high altitudes in the thin air. Wing deicing is not allowed. I’m thinking nude and drunk on this one, too. Let’s give them a real challenge.
Teams must attempt hang gliding at extremely high altitudes in the thin air. Wing deicing is not allowed. I’m thinking nude and drunk on this one, too. Let’s give them a real challenge.
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Cat Fuzz
Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!
Water skiing except on a frozen lake, towed behind a snowmobile. A really fast one. Preferably a snowmobile with a helicopter turbine for an engine. Drunk.
Demolition Ice Sculpture
Teams use only plastic explosives to create elaborate ice sculptures. No other tools are allowed.
Mammoth Sledding
Life-sized models are used for this one. Mammoths are fitted with heavy duty skis and the whole team of 10 people rides this big-ass thing down a mountain. Extra points for yelling and twirling their bear skin togas over their heads as they speed down the slopes approaching 110 miles per hour.
Teams use only plastic explosives to create elaborate ice sculptures. No other tools are allowed.
Mammoth Sledding
Life-sized models are used for this one. Mammoths are fitted with heavy duty skis and the whole team of 10 people rides this big-ass thing down a mountain. Extra points for yelling and twirling their bear skin togas over their heads as they speed down the slopes approaching 110 miles per hour.
Women's walrus snorkling... and what ever happened to iceskate barrel jumping??? Gotta do something with the empty keggers.
I enjoy Freestyle flailing, teams take turns sneaking up on opposing team and put ice down the back of their opponents shirts.
I enjoy Freestyle flailing, teams take turns sneaking up on opposing team and put ice down the back of their opponents shirts.
Subzero Mathalon. The problems start easy, but get progressively harder as the temperature goes down. A wrong answer constitutes feeding a teammate to a polar bear. Oh, and they have to do all the integral stuff drunk for the entire 8 hour stretch.
I think the deposits on the kegs skyrocketed.Twrecks said:
Blizzard Ironworking
Drunked-up steelworkers must erect a 10-story steel tower in zero-visibility blizzard conditions.
Abominable Snowman Hunt
Teams must hunt down and kill a huge Sasquatch using nothing but dental floss.
And they should all do it naked, like the ancient greek athletes. But drunk, wich compensates the cold.
Snow Plow Triathlon Death Wish
This one runs the gambit of courage, ingenuity, and endurance. Teams must first use a snow plow for 100 miles to plow a road through 6 feet of snow to a hunting ground. Once at the hunting area, they use the elastic in their underwear to make a spear gun to shoot a deer. After the hunt, the team must sneak up on a male polar bear and shave its testicals with a straight razor. Extra points for survival.
This one runs the gambit of courage, ingenuity, and endurance. Teams must first use a snow plow for 100 miles to plow a road through 6 feet of snow to a hunting ground. Once at the hunting area, they use the elastic in their underwear to make a spear gun to shoot a deer. After the hunt, the team must sneak up on a male polar bear and shave its testicals with a straight razor. Extra points for survival.
Santa Run
Olympic teams must trudge through groves of christmas trees to the north pole. The goal here is to capture Santa’s stronghold and release the elves and the reindeer he has enslaved for so long. Santa must then be dressed up like a little girl and dragged back through the snow for a trial by fire.
Olympic teams must trudge through groves of christmas trees to the north pole. The goal here is to capture Santa’s stronghold and release the elves and the reindeer he has enslaved for so long. Santa must then be dressed up like a little girl and dragged back through the snow for a trial by fire.