the story of the starship 'uss eternaty'

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: 9345

On my regular "wonder whats down this way" tour of the ship, I found henke!!! He has eaten quite abit of metal and it looks like something tried to make a snack out of him, but I think he will be alright.

UPDATE: I have used my sealent foam and secured the Engineering room where the wavy guy was last seen. Thats the only way in or out of there as far as I know. I found something that can break the foam, incase it finds another way out, or someone is in there. I used the heating coils and the anti-pokemon toaster, the things are probably the sharpest tools I have seen in a while.

I am advising everyone to stay away from the engineering room until we have found out the intentions of the wavy guy. Maybe its friendly, maybe its not, I just don't know right now.

I have noticed that we seem to be moving in a circle. Later today, I'll go up to navigation and see wtf is happening.

 

[8-4-7-2]

Tactical Officer's log Stardate 595223.3

I made some progress in hunting this wavy air guy. From pieces of pizza a found on the bridge, I concluded that he was there, as there were previous reports that he likes pizza. He seems to have a strong stomach. I placed some holographic crewmen throughout the ship, hoping that wavy air gets the bait. And I was not disappointed. Soon after this two slaughtered holographic corpses were found on deck 8.
Now I'm sure that he is a Hirogen hunter.I can't believe he thought they were real. The intelligence reports about their dumbness were true.

From all known facts I made a plan to catch him.
I placed pizza traces starting at engineering (the wavy air effect was last reported from there) and leading to cargobay 5.
There I will trap him in forcefield. By all his stupidity this will be very easy.

Supplemental
We still need a volunteer who eats the replicated Gorgonzola and then kills the remaining pokemons!
Perhaps Ensign TA. If he does I will se what I can do for his promotion. Doctor Shadow is waiting in sickbay, if there are complications....

 

[MoyDoy]

Chief engineers log stardate: Never mind

I met one of those terrible beings, hunters. He came in to engineering and attacked me. I managed to defend myself but that was only because of my experience of theses creatures in my spam-pirate days.
We have a new doctor onboard. His name is Shadow and I know him from before. He and I were part of the crew of Pylaus, one of the greatest spam-pirate ships in known space. Unfortuanetly he was plotting back then a muteny and I found out. I reported to the captain, the legendary Rooster, andhe was arrested. But he managed to escape and I can not to this day understand how. I fear that if he finds out that I am part of the crew here he will take revenge. I better be on my watch.

 

[Thar T'Pak [=AA=]]

Stardate 969696969696969696.007

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Upon making it down to engineering, I saw that some very bright prey have made it there ahead of me. Now I am questioning who is the predator and the prey here.

Hmm, I see someone has been dropping peezza on the floor. The fool. As I scoop up a piece I see another one farther down the cooridor. Ahh the rest of the Armada will like these.

Wait. I stopped short of a room called cargo bay 5. Something smells, fishy here. I grabbed a few of the yellow rodents as I came this direction and threw then into the room.

AHA, a forcefield trap. My these Beings make worthy prey. I guess that way is blocked. So I ducked into what looks like a feeding room. Noone is about, so I'll switch off my cloak, unbuckle these damn tight weapon belts and sit down.

Now for some Peezza and schplam.


Hmmm Yummy

 

[The Dopefish]

APHC log of crap.

Even with the Pokemon gone, I still hold little Pokemon matches on the holodeck. I'm reenacting, in my own, special way, the travels of that Ash kid, only I kicked his *** out of the story and made Misty 18.

 

[Sam_The_Man]

New recruit Sam's log, stardate whatever it is today.

I have just joined the USS Eternaty. I hope to be a valuable asset to the crew by doing 3 things:

a) Getting the ship renamed "Eternity" because that is how it is spelt

b) Exposing Dopefish's activities on the holodeck, which shall show him to a) have watched Pokemon and b) fantasized about one of the characters. Mwahahaha.

c) I also hope to persuade the captain to replace our outdated and obsolete energy weapons armory with axes that you can swing around your head and scream "RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" with.

As well as this, I would like to know the correct way to sign off a log.

 

[The Dopefish]

APHC log m0nk3y n1pp13 pr0n

I have started a petition to get Sam The Man thrown in the brig.

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: OH $H|+

Uh, we might be fecked here people. I went up to the navigation deck to see why we were moving in circles, and making a nice little descent to some planet I have yet to identify, when I noticed that there was a couple of slash marks in the main navigation computer's circuitry!! We need an engineer up here immediatley!!

Along with the slash marks, there were lots of traces of spam and pizza. Since I have yet to see any bladed weapons here onboard, I am only assuming it was done by the wavy air guy. If you see it, proceed with extreme caution.

I have made some infrared and night vision googles so we can see in the darkened sectors of the ship. If you need them, don't hesitate to ask.

 

[Thar T'Pak [=AA=]]

Starlog 8976567854.1

Hunter-Seeker of the Third *belch* Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Well, somehow I cannot fit in my cloak field, When turned on, it can no longer hide my enormous gut. I have proceeded to clean the *belch* Feeding area and the surrounding halls of this wonderful thing they call peezza.

Now, I just need someplace to wash it down, some good reading material, and a place to deposit my waste.

Hmm this room is marked "Holo-suite", I wonder what....



*YYEEAAARRRGGGHHHH*


Someone tear out my eyes!!!!. I saw something disgusting going on with a yellow rodent and a red-haired little girl. Ohh by frak, I think....I THINK!!!


*BAAARRFFF*


Eww. Well at least my gut shrank. Time to stalk some more.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

 

[OshadowO]

Medical Officer's Log :
Star Date: 132446454564864
I was fortunate to be rescued by this ships good captain Cascade. I felt I didn't have strength left to make the break in plan work. At once I was assigned to be the ships Medical Officer- they must be desperate they didn't even ask for a resume'.
No sooner did I sign on I was shown to the sick bay where one of the crew Henke was awaiting aid. One look at him and I said "I'm a doctor damn it not a blacksmith." Still I prescribed two doses of WD40 twice a day and told him to switch to 90 octane instead of 89. He seemed like a fine young lad.
Something very exciting was bought to my attention lately. I overheard TO 8-4-7-2 word his concerns of a Hirogen hunter
on board. I have come across this species in my days with Captain Rooster and almost got the chance to dissect on of them before the compassionate dolt let him free. I mean he was a Hirogen hunter. Yet I remember the means by which we captured him. With the help of a Pokemon PizzaRaRa whose super Pizza attack subdues the hunter temporarily using strands of mozerella and renders their cloaking field useless. However I shall have to breed PizzaRaRa back as they are an extinct species. I'm certain with a few genetic alterations in some of the surviving Pokemon on this ship and inter-bredding I can do this. Besides I hear some people on this ship are into PokePorn, it should serve to entrtain the crew as well, Not to mention PizzaRaRa's second ability was culinary arts and damn this ship needs a cook.

 

[Temporary Account]

Ensigns Log: Stardate 08082000:222947

I don't feel so well. As I had mostly cleaned up the levels of the ship that were coated in pizza, I foolishly volunteered for the removal of the remaining Pokemon in Cargo Bay 4. Little did I know what this would involve. Let's just say that if I come into contact with Gorgonzola cheese again, I'll be a happy man.

Fortunatly, it had it's effect (other than the earth shattering heading and bowel shaking nausea), and I was able to successfuly resist the hypnotic lure of the Pokemon. In thinking about it, I think just about anything that made me violently ill enough to be a distraction would have worked. I managed to work the controls, although mostly on reflex, and atomized the sickeningly cute creatures. Hopefully this is the LAST we'll see of them, as I don't think we could handle any more of their mischief, especially with the dangerous mission now ahead of us.

I'm going to head to sickbay now and see if our new doctor can give me anything to help me sleep. I think I'll just rest a little while. Hopefully I'll feel better soon, then I'll find my superiors and see what duties are available for me to carry out. Maybe I'll confer with the Science and Engineering officers about the communications and sensor capabilities of our fine shi....oh god...<noise ommited>. Uhhhh...that's a little better..I wonder if the doc makes Cabin Calls...

<End of Log>

 

[OshadowO]

Medical Officer's Log
Star Date 254697874
I have noticed something very interesting. The star dates have no logical sequence. I also had to make my first house call.
Ensign Temporary Account had extreme PokePizza Poisoning. A rare disease yes. I look forward to dissecting him if he doesn't make it. Still I have to follow my hypothetical hypocritical oath and try and save his life. He wanted to be put to sleep. At first my eyes lit up "Yes dissection after all!" I thought but then I understood he only meant temporarily. So I gave him some sleep inducing pills that I smuggled of Darth Hitler's ships. He used to use those to put his Pokemon to sleep when they were too irratible. Since the ensign is much larger then your average Pokemon I gave him an extra dose. To be certain I also gave him some anit pizza poison tooth paste and told him to brush 50 times a day for two days. THat should give him immunity to this type of disease for the next 12.45698 decades by my calculations. Yes I think I like this job
Medical Officer's Log Supplemental
My genetic experiments with the Pokemon to try and breed PizzaRaRa have progresses well. I have concieved a baby RaRa and a mother Za is pregnant with hopefully a Pizza. If all goes well I shall have Pizza and RaRa ready to breed within 18 standard hours thanks to some growth accelerating technology. Which reminds me I need to find a way to get my hands on some decent medicines for humans. The Pokemon stuff does not quiet cut it. I hope the poor ensign is ok. Those sleep pills can cause intense diarrhea. I hope he remembers to brush tho because that should cure him of it as long as he brushes the first 10 times. Maybe I should have mentioned that. Too late now.

 

[Vortex]

commander's log ???

Hmm. I am finding it hard to concentrate on this log as I can some noise coming from just down the corridor. It sounds like a dog but I don't dare investigate it incase it is another pokemon. I have noticed that we are drifting dangerously close to a nearby planetoid and could enter it's gravitational field soon. I hope our captain knows about this. It appears also that our new member Sam_The_Man wants to change the name of the ship to the USS Eternity. If he wants to then I won't stop him going for a walk outside the ship to repaint the name. To take my mind of the current situation(s) I am now going to engage in some elaborate pokemon related activities in the holodeck. But not before I've put an end to that infuriating creature's barking. Even if it's not a pokemon, I'll still slit it's throat.

End log

 

[8-4-7-2]

Tactical Officer's lod Stardate unknown

I'm glad that Ensign Temporary Account volunteered in killing the remaining Pokemons. I appreciate that he risked his own life to save ours. The replicated Gorgonzola worked as I predicted but the sideeffects were stronger than I thought (sorry Ensign). However Doctor OShadow did a great job in healing him, as he did with henke before. The pokemon threat is now over, but I heard that our Doctor began secret experiments the breed new ones. But if it helps the catch Mr. wavy air that's good.

To reward Temporary Account's selfless action I will recommend him to the Captain for a promotion to Lieutenant Junior Grade.

Our new recruit Sam_The_Man, altough he suggested some stupid things, also needs a new position.
He could choose between Communication Officer, helmsman, cook (I want real pizza) or personal assistant to the Tactical Officer The same positions are open the Ensign TA.

Supplemental
Due to the last crises' I noticed increasing stress among the crew. Perhaps we could meke a detour to Casperia Prime. This is the new recreation and fun planet in the Rigel system.
There we can get real pizza, real women(I'm tired of holodeck sex.....computer delete the last sentence) and a lot of fun.
But as I heared that the ship is in threatening near of an asteroid, my suggestion will surly be dismissed

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-09-2000 at 08:43 AM]

 

[Vortex]

commanders log supplemental

Just a quick note to say that I agree that the captain should detour to Casperia Prime as 8-4-7-2 suggested. There was a severe power drain in the holodecks recently and the computer was only able to generate 2-dimensional beings. Damn. It also appears that some unusual text appeared at the end of my previous log. If anyone is skilled in alen languages could you please have a look at this.

end log

 

[RizMan]

Ensign RizMan's Log, USSArabella, stardate 52789.2

Today, we met with an unknown species. Scanners showed, that their weapon strength was superior to ours. Captain tried to hail them, but without any result. After a few moments of silence, the TO reported that the unknown ship was activating his weapons. The captain ordered to put all resources into shields, but unfortunately, it did not help. After one hit, shields were down, deflector and warp were out of order. Then, everything happened very fast. I don't know how often they hit us, but our ship's hull was about to break. Most of the crew members were already dead, due to the explosions. I tried to help them, but it was to late. May they rest in peace.
We had hull leaks on almost all of the decks of our ship. I managed to get to the shuttle ramp. I waited until the last moment, but nobody else showed up, so I had to start engines and take off before the ship exploded

The shuttles engines were damaged due to the explosions shockwave, so I'm drifting now in outer space. Scanners don't work, so I can't tell if any StarFleet ship is in this sector. I started a rescue beacon. Hopefully someone's gonna find it and come for me. I've got only 2, perhaps 3 days to live without food nor water.
I will try to make more log inputs, but I don't know if I gonna stay awake. I'm badly wounded, lost a lot of blood. I managed to stop the bleeding, but my medical skills are not good enough to heel everything.
I got to stop now. I feel that I won't do it very long anymore.
If anyone find this, please tell my girlfriend that I love her...forever...

End of log





[Edited by RizMan|PuF on 08-09-2000 at 09:30 AM]

 

[Vortex]

 

[Vortex]

Whoops I didn't read that log bit in your post. Sorry! Anyhow back to the story.

While I was sitting at the communications desk, I picked up an extremely faint starfleet class distress signal. It is coming from a class 3 escape shuttle that appears to have drifted far off our established transport routes. we must retirve this vessel as soon as we can as the shuttles occupant has stated that he has no food/water supplies. I have notified engineering and they working as hard as they can to get our ship out of the pull of this asteroid.

 

[RizMan]

Personal log, stardate 5978.5

I slept for a few hours now, but I don't feel better. Pain is getting worse every minute. I really don't know how long I'm gonna make it in this shuttle w/o any supplies.
I'm wondering if any other crewmember of the Arabella made it out of the ship before it exploded. I lost a lot of good friends onboard of this ship. Damnit, if only I could have done something to save the USSArabella from these aliens. I feel guilty for it's destruction, but there wasn't anything we I could have done.
I feel weaker with every word I'm saying, so I'm gonna stop here and pray that someone finds this rescue beacon.


End Log

 

[8-4-7-2]

Vortex and RizMan: Perhaps you could delete this two posts.
For me, I must say that I didn't think, that RiMan meant the Eternaty!
___________________________________________________

Tactical Officer's log Stardate 4563636.5

As I could reach noone in engineering (What are they doing down there) I remembered an old wisdom: "If you want something done right, make it yourself".
So I transfered auxililary (sp?) energy to the warp drive and emitted a warp shock wave through our main deflector. This provided us with enough thrust to overcome the gravitational field.

New scans show that the Starfleet distress signal is in direct route between our position and Casperia Prime. This comes very handy as I already have Commander Vortex on my side!

We are now heading with warp 3 to Ensign RizMan's last known position. I only hope we arrive in time. I will call Doctor OShadowO in sickbay to stand by for emergency revival.