Frostblood said:
Would you say that the first step in your disconversion wasn't intellectual at all? I've just written an essay on persuasion and attitude change and my understanding is that when people change their opinions on, well, anything but especially religion, it's because they wern't happy with them in the first place. In the case of cults, this usually means that they wern't happy in that social group. Then after they fall out of love with the cult and the leader, they start asing questions and doubting the doctrines. Would you agree?
In my case, I just started wondering about things. People wouldn’t answer my questions directly, and that got me to wondering. I’d ask stuff like where did god from, and I’d get answers like god’s always been here, or we’re not supposed to ask such questions. I figured god wouldn’t mind me wondering about him/her/it, and the part about god always being here bothered me. Plus, I knew that I only believed in god because of what my parents told me, and the preachers, and the bible, and it was all hearsay. I figured if god was real, he could stand up to some questioning. I started learning about science and the Big Bang came up. When I heard that everything in our universe started from a pinpoint of energy, things started changing for me.
I realized that I was left with 2 major ideas, and neither one made any sense. God has to be something, so where did that ‘something’ come from. It was a “which came first, the chicken or the egg” thing, with the realization that if god is something, the something that makes god had to come first. That is when I really started to doubt religion and took a closer look at things.
The date of our creation had all sorts of flaws; stories in the bible had flaws. The one show that really put the last nail in the coffin for religion was a show about the Dead Sea Scrolls. They talked about these deeply religious scholars who were working on deciphering the scrolls, and had devoted their lives to god and were very knowledgeable when it came to religious matters. After years of deciphering, they found out that Jesus was nothing special. In fact, they found out he was sort of a rebel.
These scholars discovered that when the bible made reference to “The Holy One” they were actually talking about John the Baptist, not jesus. They found out why the bible sometimes makes reference to a city with a plural ending. Something like Jerusalem and Jerusalems with an ‘S’ on the end. Don’t know if that’s the right city, but you get the point. Anyway, they found out that some people were getting fed up with all the stuff going on in their city and decided to leave and start their own city. This second city is why there is an ‘S’ on the end in the bible stories.
The people who started the new city had positions (or names) given to them; like when people are designated Knights and Dukes and such. Some of these people were designated Angels, and I believe god or gods. So in these stories about the city when the bible mentions angels, they are just talking about a real person with the designation angel.
They discovered that jesus wasn’t really all that great like they had always thought, and I believe they said he married and had children. This show was so damning to religion because it was these religious scholars who had found all this out. They talked about how deeply upset some of these scholars became, because it totally changed everything for them. They said some of these scholars were so upset by all this that they couldn’t go on with the Dead Sea Scrolls project and had to leave. If someone who wasn’t all that interested in religion had discovered this, people wouldn’t notice it as much, but for religious scholars, who had devoted their lives to god, to discover their beliefs had been wrong all these years, it was shocking because these people in no way wanted to discover all this. But there it was right in front of them.
I remember thinking at the time when watching the show that this is extremely damning to religion. It was so damning that it could undermine religion and change the world. I wondered if religious groups would try to get the show removed from the air. Well, I don’t know what happened, but I never saw that show again. It was creepy. They would rerun shows all the time about religion, but not this show. It was almost as if the government had stepped in and said not to air the show again because it could completely change our world. It was weird. See, this show wasn’t like a Roswell alien crash where they could say it was a weather balloon; it was a show about deeply religious people who didn’t want to change their minds, but they had to. It was profound!
Later on, I learned how there had been stories very similar to the Noah flood story, long before the Noah story. Then I realized it would have been impossible for Noah to collect two of everything. God would have had to help with collecting two of everything, and keep these two creatures alive, and make sure they didn’t have any problems, then intervene with a gene pool of two creatures so birth defects wouldn’t be rampant. If a god is going to do all this, it might as well leave Noah out of it. There were just too many hurdles to get over, and it seemed like the Legend of Gilgamesh just being retold.
Then problems just started compounding with religious theories and many of those problems we talked about here. But it was a long, slow process for me to change my mind completely. I kept an open mind for a long time, but one thing after another just sunk the religious ship.