HEY! Get your acts together people!

[Taskmaster]

Taskmaster decides to lower his standards..

Taskmaster walked around the corner of his van, on the side of which is painted "Rapid Repairs, Inc", carrying his tool box.

"Oops, looks like this fell off" noted Taskmaster as he picked up the "Out of Order" sign and placed it on the front of the BJ2000.

Taskmaster opened the back panel of the machine and began to replace the defective pumping mechaism and pressure regulator.

"Good thing I got here when I did...." he commented, "Some one could have gotten really hurt trying to use this thing...

"Hey buddy..." called Taskmaster to the guy lying on the ground nearby. "I put a free credit on this thing and need some one to test it. Feel free..."

Taskmaster got in his repair van and drove off.

 

[Morety]

*CHRYSt walks up the road and sees a bloody messed crotch of a Morety lying on the sidewalk, and a repair van leaving the scene.

*CHRYSt jiggles the change return thingy.

*Suddenly, into the coin return slot, plops a dismembered member.

*CHRYSt takes a bite

*CHRYSt looks thoughtfully

*"Needs salt"

*CHRYSt throws it onto the sidewalk and walks on


(Hmmm, there's still a free credit...)

 

[Taskmaster]

Nothing better to write....

(I have no idea what to write about, but I hate to see this thread once again get lost in oblivion, stuck some where between page 210 and 211, so I will think of something. I'm still waiting for the continuation of the "epic" so that it can be wrapped up. I hate to write the other folks character for fear of pissing them off, but then again, they haven't bothered to read this thread in ages...)






"Hey Bob!" called one of the construction workers as he tightened some bolts. "Wanna take a break?"

"Yea, sure." replied his buddy from the other side of the amusment ride. He was attaching some steel support rods to the main "trunk". "We can finish this up by lunch even with a short break."

"Let's go to the 'StarDeers' over by the entrance." they agreed.


A SHORT TIME LATER...

"Ah Six Frags!" mused Taskmaster as he looked around with a child-like wonder. "Man, I love this place!"

Taskmaster walked through the construction entrance to check in on the newest attraction. He straightened his hard hat as he marvelled at the newest metallic contraption designed to thrill and excite visitors.

"Mr. Taskmaster..." greeted the wide-eyed foreman as he notice Taskmaster approaching. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering when I get to take a ride on this beauty?"

"Uh, I... I don't know if she's ready yet." stammered the foreman still nervous at the prospect of talking to the owner and founder of Six Frags Over Florida, a self-made multi-millionaire. "I had some guys working on the finishing structural issues, but they...they must be on break."

"Great, then they must have finished." Taskmaster said with glee. "Come on... start her up."

"Well, I... I don't know... sir."

"Light her up and hit the music too!" enthused Taskmaster like a little kid on Christmas morning.

The reluctant foreman went to the control room and turned on the juice. The ride light flickered then shined in all their glorious colors - flashing, pulsing, chasing, and hypnotizing - as the music played a mezmerizing tune.

"The Up-Chucker!" declared Taskmaster as the ride shone in all it's glory. Taskmaster walked up the ramp, selected a seat and buckled himself in.

"Start it!' he yelled loudly.

Nothing....

"START IT!" he yelled even louder and the ride began to rotate, faster and faster. It swooshed and whoosed. It whirled and twirled. It shimmied and swayed.

It creaked and groaned. It bent and snapped. It clattered and clanked. The car ripped from the metal fasteners and sailed into the surrounding metal structure erected around the newest amusement.

The foreman hit the emergency stop on the control panel but it was too late. The ride began to brake quickly, sending an acrid stream of smoke, reeking of burnt rubber, into the air as the emergency brakes on the ride violently shuddered it to a halt.

The twisted metal car sat smashed against the metal beam, a shaken, badly hurt Taskmaster limply fell out of the twisted steel and collapsed on the ground in pain.

"W-w-wow!" he stammered breathlessly, "what a ride!"

Bob and Frank returned from their break and surveyed the damaged ride. "I guess we won't be finishing by lunch!"

 

[Taskmaster]

I'll be back... someday

Taskmaster held the scrapbook in his hands, carefully studying all the fun times captured as small snapshots of time. He couldn't help but chuckle at a few of them.

"Ah the crazy things you do to make others happy!" he thought.

"Been run over, blown apart, crushed, decapitated, cloned, battered and bruised, tie up, tied down, step on, beat down, stab, kicked, thrown and more...." he reminisced.

"But I'm getting old now, and it seems folks just don't care for the old humor. Seems like 'farting', stealing music and gossip have replaced good wholesome fun! "

"Well, ever twenty years it seems like what is 'out' comes back 'in.' So I guess I'll check back later." said Taskmaster as he closed the book, sealing in the memories.

He laid the book carefully on the lace-covered table under the porcelin lamp. A silver frame held a picture of Taskmaster with old friends CHRYSt, Tykeal, Zaxxic and others all sitting around the campfire, smiles reflecting in the firelight.

He wonder what life, the greatest of adventures, would bring his way next as he turned off the lamp leaving the memories for another day.

 

[Morety]

Morety whistled happily as he walked around with his glass jar, collecting samples of fresh dog p00p from the neighbourhood park.

Dee dee dee dee dee went Morety as he filled his jar about 3/4 the way up. Holding it to his nose as he takes a whiff, he nearly gags. This makes him smile happily.

He takes his little jar of dog p00p home with him, and sets it on the kitchen table. Out of a cupboard, he pulled his nitro glycerin.

Very gently he poured the nitro into the same jar with the poop, leaving some space at the top. He gently mixed the p00p and the nitro together.

He cheerfully whistled away while he cracked the glass off a lightbulb, ensuring the filament was still connected. Cutting a hole in the lid to the jar, he inserted the filament and duct taped it in place. He then happily hummed as he screwed the top of the jar back on. The filament oh so close to the nitro/p00p.

Sneaking into Taskmaster's house, he screwed his little device into a light socket, and snuck out.

Across the road, Morety, with his binoculars, watches in eager anticipation as Taskmaster reaches for the light switch...

 

[Taskmaster]

That's not very nice....

"Awww sh*t!" screamed Taskmaster as he flipped the light switch on, "and I mean that literally!" Taskmaster danced around the room stomping out bits of burning dung.

Task turned on the table lamp and surveyed the damage. Aside from the acrid buring smell, and the reeking dog crap smell, it didn't smell too bad. And if you ignored the brown splatters and burnt patch on the rug and walls, it didn't look to bad.

"If I get my hands on the moron that did this..." raged Taskmaster, "he won't know which end to crap out cause I'll rip him a new one!"

Taskmaster grabbed the phone book from the bureau drawer and flipped it open. "Cleaners, cleaners.... ah here's one!"

"Hello, is this Morety's Carpet Cleaners?" inquired Taskmaster after dialing the phone. "Do you guys clean up, uh, shall we say 'after dogs?'"

"OK, thanks, I'll expect you then." he said having given his address and details.