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HEY! Get your acts together people!

Discussion in 'BuF Classics' started by CHRYSt, Feb 9, 2000.

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  1. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    You're not amusing me properly. I don't like this daily slowdown thing. The internet is a very boring place.

    ------------------
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  2. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    *Taskmaster|PuF feverishly juggles running chainsaws for CHRYSt's entertainment!

    *Taskmaster|PuF cuts off a hand trying to catch the chainsaw on the downswing!

    *Taskmaster|PuF stands on one hand (see above) for CHRYSt's amusement...

    *Taskmaster|PuF collapses in a heap on the floor due to blood loss to make CHRYSt laugh!

    Laugh CHRYSt...laugh!

    *Taskmaster|PuF gets carted off in a black body bag for CHRYSt's enjoyment...

    /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif


    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
  3. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    LOL!! Woo hoo! Do it again! That kicked butt! Yay! better than shiny stuff!

    [​IMG]
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  4. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    *Coroner sends sample of Taskmaster's DNA to new cloning facility at the University of Tampa.

    * Taskmaster|Puf - the clone grows up and develops an insatiable desire to do tricks for CHRYSt.

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone juggles several glass beer bottles for CHRYSt's pleasure.

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone tosses each of the three beer bottles in sequence to CHRYSt who chugs them and throws them back never once losing the rhythm.

    * Taskmaster|PuF breaks each bottle on his front of his skull to tickle CHRYSt's fancy.

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone eats glass, while ignoring the blood running down his forehead and into his eyes, so CHRYSt can have a good belly laugh.

    * CHRYSt claps wildly as Taskmaster|PuF clone spits up bloody chunks of his esophagus (sp?) on to the sidewalk.

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone kicks at the vultures that have landed to eat the bloody bits of carrion. "You cutting in on my act!"

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone grabs a can of gas and pours it all over himself to appease CHRYSt's boredom.

    * Taskmaster|PuF clone sets himself on fire, suppresses his screams of agony as he disenergrates into a pile of ashes for CHRYSt's satisfaction.

    * CHRYSt spots a beautiful glass ornament that Taskmaster|PuF clone formed in his innards as he was burned to a crisp.... all to put a smile of CHRYSt's face!

    /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif



    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
  5. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    I wish I got that kind of attention. /~unreal/ubb/html/frown.gif
     
  6. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    YAY!!! See, now, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!!! GO TASK!!! ENCORE!!!

    [​IMG]
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  7. tykeal

    tykeal New Member

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    Billy it's because neither of us are Inhuman. Well, as far as this forum is concerned I'm not but as CHRYSt and I have already discussed we Gleeptoidians really don't consider ourselves human to begin with.
     
  8. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    *CHRYSt throws virtual dollars into Taskmaster|Puf's virtual hat



    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
  9. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    Well spent virtual dollars.

    [​IMG]
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  10. tykeal

    tykeal New Member

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    For that I even give up my stock options on the shiny whirly things and give them all over to you. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif
     
  11. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    * Taskmaster|PuF spots CHRYSt walking along the sidewalk near the park.

    * Taskmaster|PuF thinking CHRYSt is a girl, as he is wearing his "female" PuF skin, hands her a virtual rose.

    * Taskmaster|PuF wearing his PuF mime skin, grabs his invisible rope and pulls himself toward the lovel (girl) CHRYSt.

    * Taskmaster|PuF the mime is blown backwards into the street by the invisible wind.

    * CHRSYt looks around to make sure no one is watch before laughing at such obviously lame theatrics.

    * Taskmaster|PuF the mime seems to be caught in a invisible box!

    * CHRSYt points feverishly toward Taskmaster|PuF.

    * Taskmaster|PuF the mime assuming CHRSYt is simply playing along, continues to search for an opening in the invisible box.

    * CHRSYt begins wildly motioning for Taskmaster|PuF the mime to turn around.

    * Taskmaster|PuF the mime finally turns around in the now shrinking box just in time to see a large semi-truck bearing down on him!

    * Taskmaster|PuF the mime still entrapped by the invisible box, is hit head on by the front grill of the semi.

    * The large crowd of onlookers applaud Taskmaster|PuF's performance.

    "Wow, that the best pretending to be a bloody mass on the street I've ever seen!" commented CHRYSt as he went on his way...



    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
  12. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    I like being amused by bloody mimes. I also like wearing the skins of young ladies as I do my little kooky dance. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

    [​IMG]
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  13. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    "Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages! May I direct your attention to the center ring!" shouted the ringmaster clad in his tux and tails as he made a sweeping gesture toward the center of the big top.

    Several spotlights focus on the center ring where a large round cage protects the audience from the fearsome lions contained within.

    * Taskmaster|PuF, dressed in an all white jumpsuit, every square inch covered in sparkling sequins, steps boldly into the cage.

    * Taskmaster|PuF bows to the audience in each direction as flashbulbs light the tent like a hundred firecrackers dancing across the panarama of wide-eyed children eating their cotton candy and popcorn.

    * Taskmaster|PuF flashes a wide smile to the crowd as he snaps the business end of his cured leather whip near one of the large apricot colored lions.

    "Ooohs" and "Aahhs" emit from the excited crowd as the king of the jungle leaps gracefully from the tarnished metal stool he was perched on, across a large empty expanse and onto another metal stool.

    * Taskmaster|PuF barks an order at another seemingly tame lion, and with an unseen hand signal, the beast opens wide his maul and with large, white fangs exposed lets out an awesome roar.

    "Whoa... you need some Listerine!" jokes Taskmaster|PuF into his microphone to scattered laughter from the gathered specators.

    * Taskmaster|PuF wheels a pair of large metal hoops into the center of the cage. A pair of the large jungle cats move to their appointed positions on cue.

    * Taskmaster|PuF looks into the crowd and catches the eye of some friends, whom he scored free tickets for, and recognizes them as CHRYSt, BillyBadButt and Tykeal! He flashes two thumbs up, al la Mike Meyers.

    * Taskmaster|PuF turns his attention back to the metal hoops and turning a dial on each lites the hoops in a blaze of burning gas! The flames dance a seductive dance of orange, yellow and red, with the hypnotic motions of a belly dancer.

    In a few scant moments both big cats have jumped through the fiery circles several times and the fires are extinguished.

    * Taskmaster|PuF grabs the hoops to wheel them out of the way and severly burns each hand on the red hot metal. He clenches his teeth in pain, but the smile never leaves his face. He glances up at this friends in hopes they didn't notice his total goof up.

    * Taskmaster|PuF drags one of the large metal platforms to the front of the cage. The rough metal of the platform ripping at the seared flesh of his hands causing them to bleed.

    * Taskmaster|PuF grips the handle of his whip gingerly, now in almost obvious pain, and cracks it loudly for effect. The largest of the lions ambles onto the platform, a gleam of menace in his ferocious eyes.

    * Taskmaster|PuF steps up to the lion, feeling the hot breath on his face and smelling the stagnate food in his nostrils. He braces his hands on the upper and lower jaw of the growling animal, and parts the massive mouth.

    The crowd cheers (tribute to Bushwhacker) with anticipation of what is about to transpire. Whistles and cat calls add to the chaos of the moment.

    * Taskmaster|PuF calls for complete and absolute silence over his microphone.

    "The slightest noise could aggitate this lion into an uncontrolled frenzy!" he lied for dramatic effect. The circus band began to play softly at first and then built into a dramatic crescendo.

    * Taskmaster|PuF inserts his head into the lion's mouth, as beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. The blood from his shredded palms begens to drip unnoticed onto the Lion's tongue!

    * Taskmaster|PuF screams in tremendous pain as the vice-like jaws of the lion clamp down on his neck crushing his windpipe.

    * Taskmaster|PuF struggls in vain to free his head from the maul of the strong lion. His hands pull in a futile effort to part the muscular mandibiles, tear the muscles in his hands into tattered strips of flesh agains the ragged fangs.

    * Taskmaster|PuF's headless body springs back from the lion's mouth and drops to the floor in a shower of blood spraying around the center ring.

    * Taskmaster|PuF's body doesn't last long as the remaining hungry lions joined in the feast of blood.

    The horrified audience flees in horror amid wild chaos. Men, women and children run around in dismay like chickens with their heads chopped off.

    "Wow man! What a show!" chimed CHRYSt downing the last of his popcorn.

    "Killer!" laughed BillyBadButt at his simple pun.

    "I would have paid to see that show!" added Tykeal as they trio climbed down the bleachers and exited the tent.

    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif



    [This message has been edited by Taskmaster (edited 02-11-2000).]
     
  14. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    Man, I didn't realize that last one was sooo long. Each one has gotten longer and longer... I just can't keep this pace up...even if it is for CHRYSt's amusement! /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

    *Taskmaster|PuF dances around trying to avoid the bullets CHRYSt is shooting at his feet.



    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
  15. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    Bravo!!!! Bravo!!!!! I want more!...MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!!!!!
     
  16. wiz4ha

    wiz4ha New Member

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    *Wiz trys to stop this Taskmaster from going insane, but while Taskmaster is juggling some C4, he throws one over to Wiz, and Wiz is blown up.

    *After the dust settles, Wiz is unhurt.

    *onlookers seem amazed, and wonder what happened...

    *Now, Taskmaster is throwing knives, and other assorted things that will hurt (ouch) at Wiz.

    *OH oh, too late, Taskmaster has gone insane, trying to please CHRYSt.

    *CHRYSt, looking on, gets great ammusment from Taskmaster battling Wiz.

    *AH HA! Twas all a staged act! Taskmaster is not trying to hurt or kill Wiz, but rather is acting with him, and both are doing a great job. CHRYSt claps on in amusment!



    [​IMG]
    WiZ
    Smiley Games

    "What is Mind? No Matter.
    What is Matter? Never Mind"
     
  17. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    Nobody got hurt! I am not pleased!!!
     
  18. wiz4ha

    wiz4ha New Member

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    *Wiz and Taskmaster over hear BillyBadAss'es comment, so they decide to walk over to him

    *upon ariving up next to BillyBadAss, Wiz and Taskmaster start to beat up BillyBadAss.

    *BillyBadAss got his his wish, of seeing someone get hurt

    HehE! Just jokes BillyBadAss.

    [​IMG]
    WiZ
    Smiley Games

    "What is Mind? No Matter.
    What is Matter? Never Mind"
     
  19. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    Oohhhh..fireworks
    <awed, glazed eyes stare at explosions>

    [​IMG]
    "Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
     
  20. Taskmaster

    Taskmaster Godlike - I like God

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    * Taskmaster|PuF stands on the sand barge, just a few yards off shore, surveying the row of fireworks in the fading glow of sunlight.

    * Taskmaster|PuF double checks each canister and fuse to ensure every thing will be perfect for this Valentine's Day firework display (hey, work with me here people!).

    * Taskmaster|PuF sees that the usual crowd has gathered for this year's festival. It was easy to spot the PuFs as they were the only ones in commando and soldier skins while everyone else was in swimsuits.

    * Taskmaster|PuF holds up a hand-held mirror and says...

    "I see Tykeal and BillyBadButt.... and I see CHRYSt... and Wiz4ha. I see that good little boy, Nigma666... I see Kevin and Sally and Bobby..." just like the show Romper Room (you're too young to remember /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif )

    * Taskmaster|PuF get the signal from the nearby fire marshall that it is time to begin. Taskmaster|PuF fires up his lighter and sets the first fuse ablaze!

    * The firework bursts overhead in a tangled web of glittering sparkles that change from green to red before drifting down as orange embers.

    * Taskmaster|PuF lights a times fuse that launches several flash charges just good for making loud booms and several goldenrod clusters, that light the sky a brilliant gold.

    * Taskmaster|PuF fails to see the small glowing embers land in his thick flowing mane of hair.

    * Taskmaster|PuF begins to smell a very foul odor as he lights yet another timed fuse.

    * Taskmaster|PuF suddenly realizes that his hair is on fire and he scalp is broiling like an egg on asphalt!

    * Taskmaster|PuF screams in agony as the fire marshall yells at him to drop and roll. The fire marshall scrmables around for a fire extinguisher.

    * Taskmaster|PuF drops to the sand getting a bunch of fine, white gritty sands in his eyes. "I can't see! I can't see!"

    * Taskmaster|PuF rolles helplessly on the powdered sand trying in vain to put out his burning head.

    * Taskmaster|PuF rolls into a box of waiting fireworks setting the box on fire.

    * Taskmaster|PuF is severly burned by the flames of the ignited rockets, sparkler, firworks, roman candle, etc all firing at once. Several flash charges detonate right in the box, permanently deafening Taskmaster|PuF.

    "Ooooh! Look at that one! It's in the shape of a guy!" exclaimed CHRYSt!

    "Man, these shows get shorter every year!"




    [​IMG]
    I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal! :)
     
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