Church of Xylene

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The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
Yes my brothers, once I was like you. I had no direction in my life, I had no comprehension of the true purpose of our existence.
Then I was visited by the spirit of the great goddess Xylene, and I saw the light.
Join us my brothers (and sisters) in worship of the mighty fragging one and your heart will be at peace.
You will also become far better at UT, as your soul is enriched by the holy skills of Xylene herself.
Join us and all this can be yours.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

WAnk

PH34R TH3 WAnk??<br><img src="http://markwsucks.ho
Mar 17, 2000
2,307
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Seattle
www.wanked.net
do i get a special position in the church?

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ummmm WAnk??
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
Join us Wolf, in the inner peace that comes with accepting Xylene into your soul. You too can experience our newfound joy.



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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
You see, even simply reading our topic has infused UY with divine joy, causing him to laugh out loud.
Witness the perfection of Xylene.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

Dus

Confused, I think, maybe.....
May 9, 2000
891
0
0
43
Somewhere
Perfection my a$$, nobody's perfect (but me).
Because I am a crackhead.

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I'm a bombexpert, if you see me freak, RUN!
 

Dus

Confused, I think, maybe.....
May 9, 2000
891
0
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43
Somewhere
I sure as hell hope not!

WHOOPIE!!!!!!!

MOO, MOO, MOOOOOOOOOO

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I'm a bombexpert, if you see me freak, RUN!
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
All earthly joy is transitory.
Only the holy joy of Xylene is eternal.
BURR and Blorgg join us and discover your inner truth.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

Dus

Confused, I think, maybe.....
May 9, 2000
891
0
0
43
Somewhere
I have already found my inner truth:
I am a MAD COW!

MOOOOOO!

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I'm a bombexpert, if you see me freak, RUN!
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
That is not your inner truth...all illusions of individuality (even of a Encephalitical Bovinish nature) are simply that.
We are all one with Xylene, who is all.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
We of the Church of Xylene recognise that there is only one true force or being in the Universe.
That force takes the form of the great goddess Xylene, arch-fragger and Mistress of the Holy Eightball.
All other beings are merely the dreams of this most holy being, and therefore we all owe our existences to her.
Those who acknowledge in their souls the nature of reality can become closer to the perfection of the goddess Xylene herself, gaining amazing powers.
As a High Priest of the Goddess, I will live forever, unless the Goddess herself wills that I should die for her own ineffable reasons.
If you join, as Initiates you will first see a steady increase in your UT skills as your souls join with the perfection of Xylene. With diligent worship other skills and insights will follow.
So join us now and experience the divine joy of the Mistress of the Holy Eightball.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

Dus

Confused, I think, maybe.....
May 9, 2000
891
0
0
43
Somewhere
If this mistress of the Holy Eightball can dream me a nice meadow, I'll join.
Me cow, me love grass!
I do anything for grass!

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I'm a bombexpert, if you see me freak, RUN!
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
The actions of the Goddess are not for us to dictate, BURR. However, if you make a holy offering of chocolate, and continue with your devotions then the most holy Xylene might bless you with your deepest desire.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 

Dus

Confused, I think, maybe.....
May 9, 2000
891
0
0
43
Somewhere
Will a holy offering off milk do?
Me cow, me gots lots of milk!

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I'm a bombexpert, if you see me freak, RUN!
 

The_Dudester

Surfing the edge of underconfidence.
Feb 21, 2000
758
0
0
45
York/Norwich England
www-users.york.ac.uk
Chocolate is the preferred offering to the Most Holy One, but milk may be acceptable in this case, if offered with true devotion and love for your Goddess.
The Mistress of the Holy Eightball is most beneficient.

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We live for the great goddess Xylene; we die for the great goddess Xylene.

Q: What's purple and commutes?
A: An abelian grape.

Obv.
 
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