Since my current machine is unable of running any but the lowest end of games, I've taken up the hobby of trolling abandonware sites for some good old-skool shiznitz.
Among these wonderful gems from TheUnderdogs.org, I found some game from '96... this game is more addictive than Tetris. Its seriously like 9.5/10... I give you...
<a href="http://www.theunderdogs.org/game.php?id=843">Princess Maker 2</a>!!!
This has to be the most messed up, cool, down right funny (even though its not a comedy) game I've ever played. You're this wandering swordsman, and for saving the world from Satan, you're rewarded with a 500 dollar-a-year salary and a god that gives you a 9 year old girl. Whipee.
The game starts off a year later when she's ten. You can make her do all sorts of fun stuff, but not yet. Now you gotta groom her. Soon enough though, you can make your daughter work on a farm, or as a lumberjack, or yes, even in the cemetary. Or, buy her a sword and some armour, dump her in the desert, and watch her get raped by bandits. That not good enough for you? Every year you can enter your pre-teen/pubescent daughter in the Harvest Festival, in the hopes she wins the art contest, the dance contest, or the bake-off. If these competitions sound to wussy to you, make her fight in a gladiator colliseum! Nothing shouts "Good Father!" like chucking your 12 year old daughter into a blood sport against giant pirates and wrestlers. If she's good enough at killing other people, you can have her kill people in the street for popularity. Don't like her bust size? Buy some strange pills from a wandering salesman and feed them to your daughter to make her breasts bigger. She'll thank you by asking you, her father, if she just doesn't have the greatest little ti<i></i>ts in the world, and by the way, she wants to marry you when she grows up.
Of course, with about 71 unique endings, including high-priced prostitute, bondage queen, and one where she marries her father, Princess Maker 2 has a limitless replay value. A must have.
By the way, here's a link where you download <a href="http://www.theunderdogs.org/game.php?id=89">Bad Mojo</a>, the game behind the name!
And by the way, even if you care about piracy, these are <b>ABANDON WARE</b> games... they're not supported or sold by the company, so its not like a) you can buy them and b) even if you owned them, have the disks replaced. Hell, PM2 is a beta... so pfft.
Among these wonderful gems from TheUnderdogs.org, I found some game from '96... this game is more addictive than Tetris. Its seriously like 9.5/10... I give you...
<a href="http://www.theunderdogs.org/game.php?id=843">Princess Maker 2</a>!!!
This has to be the most messed up, cool, down right funny (even though its not a comedy) game I've ever played. You're this wandering swordsman, and for saving the world from Satan, you're rewarded with a 500 dollar-a-year salary and a god that gives you a 9 year old girl. Whipee.
The game starts off a year later when she's ten. You can make her do all sorts of fun stuff, but not yet. Now you gotta groom her. Soon enough though, you can make your daughter work on a farm, or as a lumberjack, or yes, even in the cemetary. Or, buy her a sword and some armour, dump her in the desert, and watch her get raped by bandits. That not good enough for you? Every year you can enter your pre-teen/pubescent daughter in the Harvest Festival, in the hopes she wins the art contest, the dance contest, or the bake-off. If these competitions sound to wussy to you, make her fight in a gladiator colliseum! Nothing shouts "Good Father!" like chucking your 12 year old daughter into a blood sport against giant pirates and wrestlers. If she's good enough at killing other people, you can have her kill people in the street for popularity. Don't like her bust size? Buy some strange pills from a wandering salesman and feed them to your daughter to make her breasts bigger. She'll thank you by asking you, her father, if she just doesn't have the greatest little ti<i></i>ts in the world, and by the way, she wants to marry you when she grows up.
Of course, with about 71 unique endings, including high-priced prostitute, bondage queen, and one where she marries her father, Princess Maker 2 has a limitless replay value. A must have.
By the way, here's a link where you download <a href="http://www.theunderdogs.org/game.php?id=89">Bad Mojo</a>, the game behind the name!
And by the way, even if you care about piracy, these are <b>ABANDON WARE</b> games... they're not supported or sold by the company, so its not like a) you can buy them and b) even if you owned them, have the disks replaced. Hell, PM2 is a beta... so pfft.