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Roy the Plant

Discussion in 'Other Stuff' started by QUALTHWAR, Aug 3, 2008.

  1. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    While Roy is pleased that Smellin’ Brown and the Enema Boys are bastardizing his good name, he thinks they need a “Look.” He suggests bellboy uniforms for the group. Head-banging individualism is passé according to Water Cooler magazine.
     

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  2. oosyxxx

    oosyxxx teh3vilspa7ula

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    That's my brother; however, I had no idea he was so hip that he could even begin to pass for passé.
     
  3. Cat Fuzz

    Cat Fuzz Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!

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    Wow. You guys can type an 'e' with the little accent mark over it.


    :notworthy:
     
  4. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    What’s with the air guitar? Air guitar confuses and infuriates me!
     
  5. Cat Fuzz

    Cat Fuzz Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!

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    It's not air guitar. It's indigestion.
     
  6. The Purple Bunny

    The Purple Bunny Super Mario Breakdance!

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    Can Roy play air guitar?
     
  7. Sarevok

    Sarevok ...

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    I've been thinking...maybe "Roy The Plant" sent you that 1 PM?! huh?!
     
  8. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    What’s Roy up to these days? He’s getting crazy big. He was growing all over the floor, my desk, trying to push outside through the window screen. I can’t get all of him in the picture. He’s about 1,400 meters long.
     

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  9. oosyxxx

    oosyxxx teh3vilspa7ula

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  10. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Oh, sorry. I meant yards.
     
  11. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    So how's Roy doing these days?
     
  12. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Roy’s life ended in tragedy. My ex and I split up a few years ago and I had to cut Roy in half. If some here have forgotten, Roy grew from a one-leaf abused plant to a flourishing monstrosity that grew across the room and took root into a second pot on the dresser. I cut Roy in half when my breakup occurred and brought both halves to my new apartment.

    I was alone, lying half dead in the gutter from abusing the bottle, and I forgot about Roy on the sunny, screened-in porch in hot-ass Florida. He dried up. HE DRIED UP, MAN!! There was nothing I could do. I dumped copious amounts of water on him. I apologized for being gone; sleeping with a busty maiden and not coming home to check on his wellbeing. As a last, desperate, attempt to save him, both of him, I wet my britches and wrung them out over his lifeless leaves, but to no avail.

    Pounding on my neighbor’s door in the middle of the night, the flat-chested woman in 1287-A understood my misery and dropped by to see if there was anything, anyone, anywhere could do to save my friend(s) who I had left for dead.

    She suggested that I just throw the plants in the dumpster, go to a nursery and buy a couple new plants so that’s what I did. Problem solved!
     
  13. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    That poor bastard. Roy was a monument, he was a certified notorious drunk eh I mean hero. Roy gave millions of people hope, giggles and brown excrement liquid running down their hairy (or non hairy, in that case smooth or bald.. or perhaps horse hoofs attached to lizard legs, so sad and so tasty) pants.

    Here's to the new plants; May their life be prolific, terrific and slightly horrific.
    May they prosper,flower and burn. Because in the end, we all will.

    Thank you Roy. You've had your dance and enjoyed many a chance, to leave your mark this thing called life. Be glad you were saved the tragedy of having a wife.
    Now you are six feet under the ground, none of your remains will be found.

    But your legacy lives on. Let's hope not through your "prodigy".
     
  14. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    This woman, Wendy Flubnagel, saw me disposing of Roy’s body in the dumpster and threatened to go to authorities unless I paid her 20 bucks.

    [​IMG]
     
  15. GoAt

    GoAt Never wrong

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    As cultivator of plants myself (i have since moved on from Bibles. turns out, you cant grow them hydroponically), this thread disturbs me.


    And arouses me
    .
     
  16. The Purple Bunny

    The Purple Bunny Super Mario Breakdance!

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    There should be a day dedicated to the memory of Roy.

    Roymembrance Day.

    Keep his memory alive by ritualistically shaving each others testicles.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
  17. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Spoiler disturbing, just as it should be.
     
  18. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Way ahead of ya!
     
  19. Rukee

    Rukee Coffee overclocks the overclocker!!

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    DumpsterDivingRoyDay.
     
  20. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    My informant told me that Wendy took Roy's remnants home with her, and...poured someting on him.
    Whatever it was, it revived him and made him grow.

    I just don't know...
     

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