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Happy Thanksgiving, Turkeys

Discussion in 'Other Stuff' started by QUALTHWAR, Nov 26, 2015.

  1. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Yo Yo Yo, keep this on the down-low, but I like my bird with no feathers, bro.
     
  2. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Jam a big bowl of strawberry jam up his asshole, and fire him out of the window. Flee, feathered fiend and empty your bowels on the unsuspecting crawling mass below.
     
  3. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Yeah, my uncle went crazy around Thanksgiving Day, too. I hope you get the help you need, my friend.
     
  4. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Your uncle Dave?
     
  5. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    uncle.JPG
    My Uncle Fester
     
  6. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Dear uncle fester,
    Always such a jolly jester,
    You keep telling the police to arrest her,
    but it wasn't Morticia who beat the shit out of your sister,
    'twas thing who plastered thine ass with many a blister,
    Whilst Lurch shaved your head with his nails and fist yer

    This little rhyme appeared at the end of "the addams family 2015 reboot prequel" pilot episode 1.
    It was rumoured to have been written by Bruce willis.
    And baby jesus.

    Estelle getty rolled around in her grave. No second episode aired. The universe groaned.
     
  7. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    As jacked up as Uncle Fester was, he’s probably no match for the Grinch. People have described him as such:


    You're a rotter Mr. Grinch

    You're the king of sinful sots

    Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots

    Mr. Grinch


    And with that reminder I should wish Merry Christmas to everyone.

    And now that’s it just after New Year, well, Happy New Year. Man, this is really tiring.

    So what did everyone get for Christmas? Or whatever pagan holiday you celebrate?


    My gifts were more retro. Or traditional, or whatever you call stuff that doesn’t have a computer chip in it. I got woodworking toys. Table saw, router, one of those jigs to make torture racks. Stuff like that. I’m trying to build a nightstand but the wood I bought for the legs are a little crocked. I need a planer, but those are expensive and it’s difficult to convince the wife that I need to spend almost 700 dollar on a tool to straighten out my wood. I guess she likes it curved.
     
  8. OO7MIKE

    OO7MIKE Mr. Sexy

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    I can't compete with how confused Qualthwar makes me feel. haha
     

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