Dear Doctor CHRYSt

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by Flare123
Dear Doctor chryst

I have 2 bug bites on my arm and its annoying. what should I do?

and by the way, your picture of that retard in the wheel chair is missing, please gix it because thats funny

You could always remove your arm. Or perhaps find yourself a large quantity of napalm, and blanket your entire area. That should remove a lot of the bugs that would bite in the future, as well as a whole lot of idiots.

Not much I can do about the pic. DNS is being retarded.

 

[flare]

retarded like that person in the pic?

ok thanks anyways man.

 

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by Limbo
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh!!!!

That hurts DOC!!!!!

/Me goes up in flames

P.S. I may smoke pot, but I ain't not God Damned Tree Hugging Hippy!!! I just have a Hedonistic Enthusiasm for Life, and I just Wonna Get Loaded

Let it burn. Maybe the world will get lucky, and the third degree burns will cause a nice infection that will finish you off.

And you are a hippy. Denial is one of the first signs of stupidity. You see, many hippies have hedonism and tree hugging confused. Being in a drug induced happy state of mind 24/7 is not hedonism. Living for the sake of living pleasure is hedonism.
If you smoked up occasionally, I'd believe that you were perhaps, not a hippy. But your entire world seems to revolve around getting baked. And ebonics or no, Meat or vegan, whatever...a being high because you're too stupid to entertain yorself without the aid of pharmaceuticals makes you a dirty pot smoking hippy.

Hippies are a bane on my society. I'll send the monkey armies immediately.

 

[Limbo]

pffffffffffffff....

If I was a Hippy I would ph34r such a hostile view...



NOW PUT 'EM UP YA CUBICLED FACIST BIATCH!!!!

/Me puts on abestos suit
/Me sharpens pointy stick

 

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by Limbo
pffffffffffffff....

If I was a Hippy I would ph34r such a hostile view...

NOW PUT 'EM UP YA CUBICLED FACIST BIATCH!!!!

/Me puts on abestos suit
/Me sharpens pointy stick

You seem to have a lot of pent up anger. This is a common thing amongst HID's or "Hippies In Denaial. You see, the fact that you can't seem to live with your hippy-ness naturaly causes anger.
Now you might want to find some other channel to send that anger into. Fighting me won't make you less of a hippy.

Being a hippy is a disease. It's nothing to be ashamed of, because lots of people have this infection. And fortunately, it is curable. There are several options available.
You could stop living on whether or not you've got a dime bag in your pocket. Or, if you just stopped living, it would work better. A symptom of your particular strain of the hippy virus is that your sperm count is more than likely intolerably low, and filled with double tailed retard tadpoles. Since the world doesn't need more cappers, you would be much better off if you were to go inhale a few liters of water. Or better yet, carbonic acid. That should cure the problem nicely. Consult your local doctor for the best option for you.

 

[Limbo]

HID...?

No laddie, Leader of Men, Lover of Women & Father of Children I am.


CHRYSt... I offended you?!!

Please feel free to flame me further to release your tension and frustration at being caged...

/Me likes the pain.

I'm leaving the office for the in 30 minutes, so please by all means let it all out, release the fury...

 

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by Limbo
HID...?

No laddie, Leader of Men, Lover of Women & Father of Children I am.

CHRYSt... I offended you?!!

Please feel free to flame me further to release your tension and frustration at being caged...

/Me likes the pain.

I'm leaving the office for the in 30 minutes, so please by all means let it all out, release the fury...

I was in no way offended by your post. I simply offered advice on how to better deal with your urge to fight someone who gives advice.
No, I consider any who asks for advice a friend, and you are no different. But take my advice, consult your local physician, and ask him about the solutions I presented to help you with your hippy disease.

 

[ZenPirate]

Dear Dr.CHRYSt,
Is it ok to have "feelings" for inanimate objects?I have this end table that I would really like to "get it on" with ,but I don't think my friends would understand the relationship.

 

[Limbo]

/Me salutes CHRYSt

"May your Women Be Fertile and your Sons Strong!!!"


/Me goes off to find ma physican

 

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by ZenPirate
Dear Dr.CHRYSt,
Is it ok to have "feelings" for inanimate objects?I have this end table that I would really like to "get it on" with ,but I don't think my friends would understand the relationship.

I believe this would be related to a previous question about an anime chick. To hell with your friends. If you're in love with a Lay-Z-Boy, then that's none of their concern. But remember, everything in moderation. And the table won't mind if you've "got a headache" one night. Just leave it with an Ikea catalog and some Murphy's oil Soap. Besides, if it did mind, it's inanimate and can't! If only girls were end tables...

Just be careful since the end-table might be made of wood, and splinters are a very real problem.

 

[BillyBadAss]

Dear Dr. CHRYSt,

When I have sex with girls I only stick it in their ass. They always seem to bitch whine and complain. One of them had the nerve to ask me to use lube! I told them that if God intended there to be lube for anal sex it would already be in your ass. Could you tell me once and for all who is right and who is wrong?

 

[CHRYSt]

Originally posted by BillyBadAss
Dear Dr. CHRYSt,

When I have sex with girls I only stick it in their ass. They always seem to bitch whine and complain. One of them had the nerve to ask me to use lube! I told them that if God intended there to be lube for anal sex it would already be in your ass. Could you tell me once and for all who is right and who is wrong?

You're wrong.
Not about only wanting to do it in the ass, but all the rest.
First, God had nothing to do with it. There's no lube, cause p00p is it's own lube.
Second, what's wrong with smearing a little K-Y down there? I guarantee it'll make it better for the both of ya.
Third, you should try it the other ways. They're all fun. There's a reason that girls have so many holes. It's cause they're all meant to be filled with penis.
And fourth, if she's whining and complaining, you need to stop doing whatever she's bitching about. If she tells all her friends that you suck in bed, and wouldn't even listen when she told you what she didn't like, you'll have a lot of trouble getting other chicks later on.

 

[Gir]

Dear Doctor CHRYSt,

Please read this: http://forums.planetunreal.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=678699&t=8350#post678699 if you haven't already.

My Norn Suzie was killed by a mean Grendel. She was still so.. young and innocent. I may have been able to do something against it if I would have been more responsible. I struggle with heavy feelings of remorse and regret. I can't eat, I hardly sleep and my friends are thinking I'm listening to Johny Osborne.
When I do manage to get some sleep, I only get these nightmares where Suzie is getting molested again and again. And I cannot do anything about it.
I.. I wub you Suzie..

Dr. CHRYSt... what should I do?

 

[pine]

Dr. CHRYSt, where are you? My little brother told me recently that when nervous, in doubt, or in an uncomfortable situation where I didn't know what to do or say, I should just try humping something. Is this sound advice?

 

[AriTheDog]

Dear Dr. Chryst,

i'm a long time reader, first time poster. in another thread, war-ped mentioned this:

"the REAL question here

what if your wang hangs to the left "

well... my wang hangs to the left. and since he mentioned it, i'm not afraid to talk about it any more!

now that you know the problem, what can i do about it? i've tried lotions, i've tryed vices, hell, i've even tried jerking off with the other hand!

nothing seems to work!

your help will be appreciated!

XOXO,

-AriTheDog