Ok, now I have to tell you this story. We are at Grand Central Station, or Grand Central Terminal as some people call it. I need to go to the bathroom. Not that leisurely type of bathroom break, but the kind that involves a lot of paperwork.
So this one part of this giant bathroom had 5 stalls in a row. No one was in any of them and the first one I checked out looked pretty clean, but when I checked there was no toilet paper. No paper in the next stall and so on until I got to the last stall. There was paper there but some crazy bastard decided to crap all over the place and wiped their butt and threw the paper over in the corner of the stall instead of putting it in the toilet.
So I started pulling toilet paper off the roll until I had maybe 30 feet of this scarring stuff. I went down to the other end and did my business. While I’m there this guy goes into the stall next to me and sits down and starts going. Then it hits me: what is this guy wiping with?! If he didn’t do something like I did he has nothing to wipe with. What’s he doing; wiping with money? Did he take off his underwear and use that and flush it?
Oh, but it gets even better. He’s at Grand Central Station. Like the busiest subway station in the world. When people ride the subway some folks are seated but most stand. When they stand their butts are right in the face of the people who are sitting. So let’s say this guy had nothing to wipe with. He gets on the subway and his butt is like 8 inches away from someone’s face who is seated. That has to be a fun ride!