Question for the parents on BuF

[hal]

I know that if I'd have a kid I'd tell about pretty much everything there is to tell. I'm a natural curious and I certainly assume that I would naturally fill one's curiosity. I also wouldn't lie him up with Santa Claus and extra crap like such.

You're heartless!

Very young children have a difficult time distinguishing between what is real and what is make believe. Why on earth wouldn't you let them have a good time with something like Santa Claus that teaches them the value in giving and selflessness. Well perhaps it doesn't teach it outright, but it sows the seeds. It depends on how you approach it with them.

P.S. Kids.. **** the Easter Bunny! **** the tooth fairy! Princesses, toys, etc...

 

[dotnetbeast]

ask your parents

My sisters were planned. My brother was "one drunken night" and I was, as my dad put it, "not being able to pull out in time"

 

[SkaarjMaster]

TWTW has it right. Patience and understanding (and, uh, lots of UT after they go to bed). I can't believe my son is already 5, seems like he was born just yesterday.

 

[TomWithTheWeather]

I also wouldn't lie him up with Santa Claus and extra crap like such.

A little make-believe won't hurt and can help the imagination. I think the Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy idea is fine. It can be a great growing and learning exercise. A curious child will reason their way out of that sort of thing by themselves and learn something in the process. I'd be honest if my kid asked, but I wouldn't outright tell them day-one not to believe in Santa or whatever.

On a more serious note, when it comes to religion, I'm personally not a believer. My wife is, though not fundamentalist-ly so. We differ on what we believe, but we have a respect for each others right to believe what we want.

When it comes to how we raise our kid, we both agree to avoid indoctrination, whether that be indoctrination into theism or atheism. If our daughter is curious and wants to go to church, she can. If she doesn't, we won't force her. If she's curious about religion, then awesome. She can learn about it all she wants. In fact, I'd love for her to learn about all types of religion. If she chooses to believe, I'll respect her wishes.

The last thing I want is for her to believe something simply because I said so. I want her to ask questions and come to her own conclusions when she is old enough to do so. If she asks me if god exists, I'll give her my opinion, but I'll also recommend she ask mom (who does happen to believe in god).

I want her to explore her options, not just assume the faith (or lack of) she was born into is how things really are.

 

[Soggy_Popcorn]

Patience. If you don't have it or can't learn it, don't bother with kids.

I can only speak from the experience of having a 5 1/2 month old that is fairly happy as far as babies go. She doesn't cry a lot at all and is mostly "giggles" when she's awake. The trick is, we give her lots of loving attention and routine. She's well pampered. You can't spoil a baby. We play with her when she wants playtime and we lay her down for a nap when she wants it. We try to not to linger too long in a restaurant or while out shopping and manage to avoid public crankiness for the most part. We don't ignore her when she cries. We don't leave her in a room some where to "cry it out". Because we pamper her at this age, she'll healthily respect and trust us more when she's older. ...

I hate to disillusion you, but you really should not do that once she becomes aware of how much she is being pampered. Some family friends treated their newborn exactly like that. Until she was like 12. And she still acts like a spoiled little 5 year old when she wants her way.

Don't do it.

 

[FuLLBLeeD]

I hate children so much I actively consider pregnant women to get abortions. Managed to convince 6 so far, and if I convince 10 Planned Parenthood said they'd give me a $25 gift certificate to Best Buy.

 

[TomWithTheWeather]

I hate to disillusion you, but you really should not do that once she becomes aware of how much she is being pampered. Some family friends treated their newborn exactly like that. Until she was like 12. And she still acts like a spoiled little 5 year old when she wants her way.

Don't do it.

You can't spoil a baby. There is a difference between spoiling a child and taking care of a child.

You can however spoil an older child. Right now my daughter is 5 months old and needs all the attention and care we can give her. The pampering will stop way before she's 12.

I'd love to be able to provide absolutely everything I can for her but I have to be realistic and I want her to learn the value of things. She won't get a piece of candy every time she wants one while we're in the food store. She won't be getting that pony she wants or getting that Ford Mustang the day she turns 16. She'll have a part time job as soon as she can and she'll drive a ****ty car to high school just like I did.

When she's gets a little older, she certainly won't be spoiled by me. At that point, it's grandma's job.

 

[Renegade Retard]

You can't spoil a baby.

The hell you can't!

*nudges hal - funny watching peopel argue about things they don't understand, isn't it?*

 

[SleepyHe4d]

TomWTW is such an idealist.

Enjoy having no time to yourself cause your kid knows you come to their every beckoning.

 

[daloonie]

I clean her regularly.
Give her a lot of attention.
I play with her everyday.
I treat her only the finest nutrients.
I check her oil and refills it regularly.
And I make sure the sprinkler and cooler fluid is always topped off.

 

[shadow_dragon]

I have a kid because i can have kids and i wanted a kid.
It's great so far.
My one is only a month different from TWTW's but I couldn't say too much on the subject at this early a stage tbh as there are more experienced BuF'ers out there. My boy though is brilliant, he sleeps from 7pm to 7am, takes regular naps, is great fun when he's awake. A little work with routines and he fits into our lives perfectly.

It's great and it is worth it, that is for sure. Assuming anyone was really interested.

Why on earth wouldn't you let them have a good time with something like Santa Claus that teaches them the value in giving and selflessness. Well perhaps it doesn't teach it outright, but it sows the seeds. It depends on how you approach it with them.

I've always thought that the purpose of Santa Claus was to give parents a way to give their children presents without openly admitting that they will just buy their kids more or less whatever they want... otherwise kids want learnt eh value of money and will potential just beg for stuff all year round.
Though in the old days it was Santa that gave the good presents.

I'm going to reinvent the santa myth for my children so they can't be fooled by any of the false religious or beverage based meanings that are otherwise attached.

The hell you can't!

*nudges hal - funny watching peopel argue about things they don't understand, isn't it?*

TomWTW is such an idealist.

Enjoy having no time to yourself cause your kid knows you come to their every beckoning.

... Did you not read the rest of what he said?
He was making a distinction between baby and child.

That said i otherwise agree with Ren in a way, it's funny to see how far far more people without kids responded to this post with such rubbish.

 

[dotnetbeast]

That said i otherwise agree, it's funny to see how far far more people without kids responded to this post with such rubbish.

Yea and I did not make this thread for those people.

 

[IronMonkey]

It worked on me.

Thereby proving my point.

Apparently your upbringing has led you to believe that violence against children is harmless.

 

[Lruce Bee]

Being a parent teaches you a lot about yourself - you grow up fast when it happens and you basically give up any life you thought you had before and trade it in for years of worry & happiness in equal measures.
Make no mistake, kids are hard work at all stages of their lives - it never really stops tbh.
My son is 23 now and although he's got a good job, girlfriend, house etc etc, I still worry about him, help him out financially when he needs it and just generally make sure he's OK.
If you like your own space, tight with your money and lack patience to dedicate to parenting then steer well clear.
I've read various reports about how much it costs to bring up a child until the age of 18 and here in the UK it's something in the region of £200,000+
Bear that in mind before dipping your stick guys.

 

[Jacks:Revenge]

Bear that in mind before dipping your stick guys.

no wait, don't listen to him.

guys, dip your stick all you want.
just make sure it's protected, that's the important bit.

 

[Lruce Bee]

Good point Jacks.

 

[SleepyHe4d]

He was making a distinction between baby and child.

And that automatically makes him right about everything?

Thank you! Now whenever I want to prove that I'm right about something all I have to do is compare it to something else!

Seriously though, imo a baby can be just as spoiled as any other aged child. I'd say it's worse because a babies only way of communicating is crying, while other kids can just whine.

I have a kid too that's almost a year, so if you want to get technical I'm more experienced than both of yall. Really though, all of us are new parents and have our own fairly unexperienced opinions on the subject.

 

[shadow_dragon]

And that automatically makes him right about everything?

No, i think you must have quoted the wrong person because that's not at all what i said.

Thank you! Now whenever I want to prove that I'm right about something all I have to do is compare it to something else!

You're quite welcome too... Distinction however is not comparison btw, it is definition.

Seriously though, imo a baby can be just as spoiled as any other aged child. I'd say it's worse because a babies only way of communicating is crying, while other kids can just whine.

I have a kid too that's almost a year, so if you want to get technical I'm more experienced than both of yall. Really though, all of us are new parents and have our own fairly unexperienced opinions on the subject.

Fair enough.

 

[Crotale]

I have to agree with TWTW. You should not leave a baby in a room to "cry it out." Toddlers and older, leave them be, but let them know you love them and that the bad behavior will not be tolerated. Every single time I had to correct one of my kids when they got unruly, I still let them know that they were loved. My parents never did that with me. I got my medicine and was left to stew about it, always thinking that my mom hated me and my dad could somehow not have cared less.

You should never beat your child. A swat on the tush will suffice, as it should only be used as an attention getter. Never strike your child when you are angry. Sometimes, the fact he or she has done something to make you that angry and knows it will be enough to set him/her straight. No child WANTS the parental wrath brought down upon him or her.

 

[TurdDrive]

Why do people even have children if it's so crap.

what i was wondering.