I woke up really hungry for entertainment today, so I decided to peruse the Beyond Unreal forums. I was feeling particularly adventurous and manly this morning because I had sex last night, or at least masturbated while I thought about having sex, or maybe I was too lazy to masturbate so I instead thought about masturbating shortly before falling asleep on a pillow damp with my own drool. Anyways, "What's a better way to say, 'hey world, I'm the boss, applesauce!' than by letting my typographical genius shine upon the XMP community once again by posting on the BuF?" I muttered to myself. After climbing out of bed and stepping onto a cold floor littered with all manner of papers and fecal matter, I instinctively grabbed a soda out of the fridge and sat down at my computer to begin my satiation for optical enjoyment in the form of reading. While calmy browsing the typical boring posts and finding myself mind numbingly pained by the severe lack of all that which could be considered "not stupid" I stumbled upon this thread. Immediately I leaped from my desk shrieking like a schoolgirl, running about the apartment trailing sweat, tears, and urine behind me.. howling with laughter mixed with fright mixed with the remnants of last nights heroin injection at the thought of Phalanx, of all people, being moderator of the oh so special forum which has permanently fixated itself close to my bosom in the last few months.
After tripping on a brown striped pair of tightie whities which had been kicked around aimlessly along the floor for going on 7 months now, hitting my head on the corner of my desk and then laying in a puddle of my own waste after losing all control of my bodily functions from the hit for an hour, I arose and sat back down at my computer to relay a short message to you all..
![[DF]phalanx](/data/avatars/s/31/31370.jpg?1424422841){kind=avatar}
And gosh darnit Phalanx, please stop with the links, you know I only like the midget pr0n. 
![[LNS]ICovetYourChild](/data/avatars/s/40/40328.jpg?1424422859){kind=avatar}
