Two cows and a communist... (good read)

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NTKB

NTKB

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Aug 25, 2001
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Found this in a newspaper:

Types of government:

Socialism: You have two cows. Give one to your neighbor.

Communism: Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government and the government sells it.

Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes two cows.

Anarchism: You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.

Capatilism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.

Surrrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons.

:)
 
T

the real pacman

Gwen's my hoe
Sep 1, 2000
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Eh, quite amusing :lol: I'd sell the 2 cows to a farmer, buy an Mp5 and steal more cows aimed towards world domination.
 
RogueLeader

RogueLeader

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Oct 19, 2000
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Indiana. Kill me please.
Corrections...

Communism: You have two cows. If you need three and your neighbor needs one, he gives you a cow.

Anarchism: See surrealism.

Capitalism: You have no cows. Only the capitalist class has cows, and the worker must milk them in order to get a barely livable wage. The capitalist then sells the milk and keeps all the money.

Fascism: The cows get fed up with the damned dirty dictators and eat them.
 
RogueLeader

RogueLeader

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Oct 19, 2000
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Indiana. Kill me please.
I can't let you off that easily.

I always hated this damned cow analogy. Not because it lies about communism, but because it was posted in the newspaper by Ann Landers, so you know it must be crap.
 
OICW

OICW

Reason & Logic > Religion
Mar 18, 2000
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Originally posted by RogueLeader
Corrections...

Communism: You have two cows. If you need three and your neighbor needs one, he gives you a cow.

Anarchism: See surrealism.

Capitalism: You have no cows. Only the capitalist class has cows, and the worker must milk them in order to get a barely livable wage. The capitalist then sells the milk and keeps all the money.

Fascism: The cows get fed up with the damned dirty dictators and eat them.
Click to expand...

Rogue seems to live in a world where anyone who can work hard and make a good living that is better than someone else purely because of labour differences, undustry etc is a bastard capitalist :p
 
Thrash123

Thrash123

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Jul 19, 1999
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Rogue: The Two cows and a communist joke is meant to be as such - a joke. To be more precise, a joke that is based on the stereotypes blatantly. It isn't meant to inform - if we all learned what we know from jokes I think society would be in deeper crap than usual.

I laugh at jokes that are based on Christian stereotypes that aren't designed to preach a serious message. I think it's obvious this isn't meant to be serious :)
 
jaunty

jaunty

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Apr 30, 2000
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Rogue seems to live in a world where anyone who can work hard and make a good living that is better than someone else purely because of labour differences, undustry etc is a bastard capitalist
Click to expand...

Bourgoisie pig :p

It's basic commie theory: you deserve to be adequatly compensated for your labour.

Unlike basic capitalist theory: You deserve only what you can take.
 
OICW

OICW

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Originally posted by jaunty


Bourgoisie pig :p

It's basic commie theory: you deserve to be adequatly compensated for your labour.

Unlike basic capitalist theory: You deserve only what you can take.
Click to expand...

Theory. Unfortunately, in RL, that wouldn't happen. It NEVER will- people are selfish and greedy and if they can advance their own wealth, they'll probably do everything possible to achieve it.

That's why in the USSR and in other Communist-based countries, the gap between rich andpoor and exploitation ofworkers in just as bad, if not worst than in capitalist societies.

Take? Don't we ALL do that? Don't most of us think of what WE need and what we think is right before other people's feelings?

What I'm trying to say is- in a perfect utopia where all greediness etc were gone from society then Communism would work. Since there are no "rules" or unique sense of camaderie in life, that's not going to happen.

It's wired into our minds from thousands of years of evolution- self-defense being your Number1 priority. We have no real "obligation" today to help those around us unless there's something in it for us.

If we spent every living moment worrying about others and those who are around us, we'd be screwed as a species.

Sorry to say it, but we're all selfish bastards to be honest.
 
jaunty

jaunty

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For someone who goes to a private school, you're pretty f<u></u>uckin' stupid :p

That's why in the USSR and in other Communist-based countries, the gap between rich andpoor and exploitation ofworkers in just as bad, if not worst than in capitalist societies.
Click to expand...

A communist country didn't exist at any time during the 20th century. The USSR is and was capitalist.

Take? Don't we ALL do that? Don't most of us think of what WE need and what we think is right before other people's feelings?

What I'm trying to say is- in a perfect utopia where all greediness etc were gone from society then Communism would work. Since there are no "rules" or unique sense of camaderie in life, that's not going to happen.
Click to expand...

I think you misunderstood. What I mean't by "take" was "exploit the s<u></u>hit out of people who couldn't afford university or college.

The point is, capitalism rewards the wrong end of the scale. Are you telling me the rich guy in the suit who makes his living off the guys in the factory honestly deserves to earn about 100x what the guys in the factory do? And is it fair that the company they work for pays 5% tax, while the guys in the factory pay 40-50%?

Communism isn't about a utopia. Make no mistake, it is by definition, anarchy, a society without government. Communism is about giving people what they deserve in exchange for their labor.

Capitalism rewards people for how much they can exploit others. Any moron can see that that is damn wrong.
 
RogueLeader

RogueLeader

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Oct 19, 2000
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Indiana. Kill me please.
OICW: According to capitalist theory, a worker does not get what he earns for his labor. His payment is not in any way based on the work he puts into it. I repeat that even in capitalist theory, a man does not get payed what he earns. The system in which payment is based on how hard you work is called socialism. If you believe a worker should be payed based on the work he puts into his job, then you are a socialist as well.
 
&

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Rogue: Do you need more evidence of people not wanting communism?:D
 
E

ElectricSheep

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May 11, 2000
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OICW: According to capitalist theory, a worker does not get what he earns for his labor. His payment is not in any way based on the work he puts into it. I repeat that even in capitalist theory, a man does not get payed what he earns.
Click to expand...

'earn' is a rather flexible word that has no real concrete value. How do you determine what someone has 'earned'?

I will say that yes, it is true that under true capitalism, you are not compensated based on how much work you do. You are compensated based on how much demand for the good or service you produce exists. If you sit there working your ass off for a good or service that nobody else wants or needs, you are not going to get a damn thing!

True capitalism might exists in very small pockets, but it also breaks down on a large scale. Under true capitalism (and communism) there is no governing body. There are no taxes. There is no such thing as 'minimum wage', 'pricefixing', and all that other crap. There is also noone to enforce honesty or contractual obligations at all. People lie, people cheat, people steal. They do it <em>en mass</em>. People do it because even if they have what is sufficient to live comfortably, they always want more. Its Greed. Resources are limited. Human want for said resources is unlimited.

Captialism (and communism) is an ideal that requires ideal human behaviour to work.

&lt;Slightly OT&gt;
I think that part of the problem is that right now, harnessing energy is expensive. It is limited. It is not easy to do. If we can find a way of harnessing energy in such quantity an ease that you can basically give it away like sunshine, the structure of society is going to radically change. I don't think Fusion will do that, but I think its moving in the right direction.
&lt;/Slightly OT&gt;
 
RogueLeader

RogueLeader

Tama-chan says, "aurf aurf aurf!"
Oct 19, 2000
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Indiana. Kill me please.
You identified anarcho-capitalism, not capitalism in general. Capitalism is simply an economic form. You can have a relatively very free capitalist society with few, if any taxes, or a tyrannical oppressive capitalist society.
 
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