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The spork and the ant train

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by NeoNite, Feb 11, 2018.

  1. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    There once was a spork in the road.
    Then came along the ant train. They took the spork back to the anthill. It was a very exciting day.

    Now all this needs is a couple of huge explosions and it's a guarantee summer blockbuster action movie. I'm not sure I'll be able to afford Michael Bay for this.
    Who knows? It''s worth a shot.
     
  2. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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    If you get JJ Abrams instead there will be too much lens flare on the spork.
     
  3. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    If you make the spork a metal one and some gun fire from a rival group of ants think you'll get somewhere
     
  4. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Lens flares on metal sporks. That sounds perfect. I'll take these suggestions under careful consideration. Maybe I'll even mail these ideas to Disney and see what happens. Maybe they'll throw in a 8 feet furball and lightsabers.
     
  5. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    What you're saying, is you want the Ants to take the spork back to their own planet through space only to find out that it has been blown up by some giant laser?
     
  6. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Indeed! How did you know....? Well, naturally if you have a giant laser you need a space villain. Purple has been done to death, so I'm thinking of another colour. This could take a while. It's such a delicate deicsion.

    Maybe I'll give Leonardo dicaprio a part in the movie. Someone grunting, yelling and screeching. Perhaps.. the owner of the spork?
     
  7. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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    Give him Quaaludes......
     
  8. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    What if this guy was a large slug like creature to keep in theme with the Ants?
     
  9. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Yes, Leonardo could definitely perform nicely as a fat slug. Good thinking.

    Now, I'm not sure i'd WANT to include a giant battle at the end of the movie buuuuutttt... well, what else can I do? It has to happen. And naturally mine is going to be biggerer and betterer than that lousy (pf-hah) "giant" battle in return of the king.

    But how would I entice the chinese market?
     
  10. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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    Make them buy their own spork? Merchandising right?
     
  11. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Brilliant! But do Chinese like ants on their spork? And why do I keep typing "sprok" instead of spork?

    Well, I'll need a budget of 300 million dollars. That's a given. And I'll spend about 300.000 on cgi. Leonardo could be a little more expensive. WHat to do.
     
  12. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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  13. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    I think you may the ant on the spork an extra cost.
     
  14. Leo(T.C.K.)

    Leo(T.C.K.) Well-Known Member

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    Do those ants taste well?
     
  15. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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    If you insists.
     
  16. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Ok, so I've asked Michael Bay if I can lend some of his explosions and transformamorphrons whatever..for my movie. I think he'll be fine with it if I'd just go on use ..what's his name. primus time.. for the ant train. And a giant blaster to shoot the spork. LASERS! WE NEED LASERS FOR THE GIANT DEATH WEPPON!!!

    Got to keep those kids away from their facebook eh I mean whatsapp/snapchat/wastetime/braindrain and so on soocial media things.
     
  17. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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  18. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    There's a thought.

    Now I need to write the script. This could take a couiple of years. 10 pages at least, but well.. there are so many other things which need to be laid out properly, planned with the utmost care... meetings, writings on social media, more meetings, coffee, palaver, banter, small talk, sofa's to spend most of the day in sleeping or staring at the ceiling, porn, waffles, chicken filet sandwich, a big dog the production team can take for a walk and clean up all his shit, midgets or even better hobbits, mountains, telephone boots, spiderwaffles, broccoli cake, meetings to plan in more meetings about useless topics, more coffee, who's going to replace the borked smarthphones and pens, elephants, funny hats with silly drawings, john cleese performing the ministry of silly walks at gunpoint, transformers the real deal, staring into emptiness with a toothpick dangling from your mouth, wasting precious time, sleeping, porn and last but not least ..more coffee.

    Ok, I'll eeeeh... get to work on it I guess. Need to talk this over with my colleagues. Coffee break.. here we come...
     
  19. Leo(T.C.K.)

    Leo(T.C.K.) Well-Known Member

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    I'm starting to really like this thread.
     
  20. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    Guess you've also got to train the ants? And cast the correct spork
     

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