whenever I go to mc donalds I feel ripped off!
I look over their picturesque menu(fact: if you go to mc donalds you dont have to be able to read, to actually read the menu, you dont even have to understand numbers and ****. they are not expecting more from their customers than they do from their employes! that's one reason why they have a bunch of wallpapers showing you what you can have!) and I usually decide to have a quarter pounder(royal with cheese and french fries drowned in mayonaise ****!) or a mc chicken or a mc rib but in the end my stomach feels shallow and hungry! so what the **** happens with all that puffed up bread and pseudo meat when I've swallowed that wannabe meal?
I have several theories:
a)mc d food is made up of alot of lab chemistry, one of it happens to be modified lsd which makes my brain believe that I've just had a meal. this would explain why too much food from ****ty d can kill you. what a sweet way to die!
b) gnomes or ninjas:
whenever you look at the employes you start to think about how many ethnical minoritis and human atrocities work for ye olde scottish burger jacker. If some aliens would strand on earth they would surely start working in a burger restaurant for that ****ing clown. they dont care what you look like or what language you talk as long as you can read their mc dumb-picture-menu-board(tm). so this only leads to the conclusion that ugly as heck pupils who are in need of cash to buy more console games(read: gnomes!) and masters of martial arts(read: korean, chinese, pakistan etc.) work behind mc donalds counter to serve all your not-so-nutrious needs. if you apply maths and the chances of darwins mutations rate in a population you'll realise that at least 2 mutants(read: human atrocities aka gnomes or super martial arts fighters aka super humans) work there. thus they can use some pretty mad mind tricks on you and even force you to tip them.
c)drive thru':
they want you to spend as much time at their restaurant(bruhahaw, do they really believe to be a restaurant?) that they even have changed rules on their drive-in so that the chances of crashing into another customer(read: dumbasses) are abut 100%. So while you wait for the police and some carry-your-wrecked-car-away-guy you can invite this girl you'Ve crashed into to a hot cup of mc coffee and mc muffin just to score some real mc muff-divin afterwards on mc clean flush! top service, jeah!
d) prices:
I pay 2€ somethign for a burger or a cheeseburger. or a little less. 3.50€ for a mc chicken after eating one of those ****ers I am still hungry. so why dont I go over the street and get me a döner kebap with chilli suace and french fries for only 2.70? am I paying soem extra tax on staying under the two golden bows? well, actually they lost me as a customer for this reason. any turk is able to prepare a better meal than aliens, nerds and koreans that for ****s sake dont even understand my upper class german.
but on the other hand mc donalds is fun if you are an archeologist like indiana jones. if you crave the adventure and the need to know what bubble gum tasted back in the 60's you've simply got to go to mc donalds, buy a mc ****ty extra expensive meal and if you are very curageous you grab for the old bubblegum that'S sticking under the tables and taste the yummy glory of 40 years ago! I wonder if indiana jones would take out his whip and give some good old whipping out to some gnomes working there afterwards for not telling him about the big ****ing rock trap under his chair.
yet, for some reason once every fullmoon I happen to always end up under the two goldenly glooming bows munching deliciously on a burger and enjoying the doodling elevator music that they use to numben your brain!
I look over their picturesque menu(fact: if you go to mc donalds you dont have to be able to read, to actually read the menu, you dont even have to understand numbers and ****. they are not expecting more from their customers than they do from their employes! that's one reason why they have a bunch of wallpapers showing you what you can have!) and I usually decide to have a quarter pounder(royal with cheese and french fries drowned in mayonaise ****!) or a mc chicken or a mc rib but in the end my stomach feels shallow and hungry! so what the **** happens with all that puffed up bread and pseudo meat when I've swallowed that wannabe meal?
I have several theories:
a)mc d food is made up of alot of lab chemistry, one of it happens to be modified lsd which makes my brain believe that I've just had a meal. this would explain why too much food from ****ty d can kill you. what a sweet way to die!
b) gnomes or ninjas:
whenever you look at the employes you start to think about how many ethnical minoritis and human atrocities work for ye olde scottish burger jacker. If some aliens would strand on earth they would surely start working in a burger restaurant for that ****ing clown. they dont care what you look like or what language you talk as long as you can read their mc dumb-picture-menu-board(tm). so this only leads to the conclusion that ugly as heck pupils who are in need of cash to buy more console games(read: gnomes!) and masters of martial arts(read: korean, chinese, pakistan etc.) work behind mc donalds counter to serve all your not-so-nutrious needs. if you apply maths and the chances of darwins mutations rate in a population you'll realise that at least 2 mutants(read: human atrocities aka gnomes or super martial arts fighters aka super humans) work there. thus they can use some pretty mad mind tricks on you and even force you to tip them.
c)drive thru':
they want you to spend as much time at their restaurant(bruhahaw, do they really believe to be a restaurant?) that they even have changed rules on their drive-in so that the chances of crashing into another customer(read: dumbasses) are abut 100%. So while you wait for the police and some carry-your-wrecked-car-away-guy you can invite this girl you'Ve crashed into to a hot cup of mc coffee and mc muffin just to score some real mc muff-divin afterwards on mc clean flush! top service, jeah!
d) prices:
I pay 2€ somethign for a burger or a cheeseburger. or a little less. 3.50€ for a mc chicken after eating one of those ****ers I am still hungry. so why dont I go over the street and get me a döner kebap with chilli suace and french fries for only 2.70? am I paying soem extra tax on staying under the two golden bows? well, actually they lost me as a customer for this reason. any turk is able to prepare a better meal than aliens, nerds and koreans that for ****s sake dont even understand my upper class german.
but on the other hand mc donalds is fun if you are an archeologist like indiana jones. if you crave the adventure and the need to know what bubble gum tasted back in the 60's you've simply got to go to mc donalds, buy a mc ****ty extra expensive meal and if you are very curageous you grab for the old bubblegum that'S sticking under the tables and taste the yummy glory of 40 years ago! I wonder if indiana jones would take out his whip and give some good old whipping out to some gnomes working there afterwards for not telling him about the big ****ing rock trap under his chair.
yet, for some reason once every fullmoon I happen to always end up under the two goldenly glooming bows munching deliciously on a burger and enjoying the doodling elevator music that they use to numben your brain!
