The Official BuF Off Topic "Name a horrible death for spam creators" thread

[Amanda]

Sew his eyelids open so that he can watch all of this:

First you set him ablaze. After he has literally been burnt to a crisp and his plasma and blood is literally boiling, take him to the Marianas Trenches and scuba dive to the bottom with him. While he is under that water down there and drowning, start taking an icepick and jabbing at the burns. Before he loses all consciousness, swim him back to the top. Take him back to shore, then start pouring boiling water on them. Then what you do, is inch-by-inch, remove his epidermis with a meat carver. After that, start cutting ripping off each fingernail and toenail, one by one. Then cut off each toe and finger. Then, rip out his tongue and slice off his ears. After that is done, jab icepicks in his eyes and yank out the eyeballs. Fill his eye sockets and open wounds with maggots and piss ants.

After that is all said and done, put him in a tub of electric eels as he dies.

GOD DAMN I'M MORBID!

 

[iridium]

I think he'd die before his blood boils..

 

[Amanda]

Well hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

 

[iridium]

maybe.. but the idea is to keep them alive for as long as possible.. without killing them but leaving them in agony..

Speaking of which, how much spam do you guys get a day? I seem to get anywhere between 30-80 in one account. it is stupidly annoying, since I rarely get anything worthwhile in there..

 

[Amanda]

Well, at one of my Yahoo! accounts, I have 54 in my inbox, and 1384 in my bulk mail. And yes, it's exceeding its limit.

 

[ZenPirate]

Am I the only one basking in the white hot light being produced by the irony in this thread ?

 

[iridium]

My inbox contains 21 emails, and my junk email folder contains 3083 emails. woo and yay..

What Irony?

 

[Katana]

100 junk a day, but there all the same ones, "could you satisfy a pornstar" "herbal viagra" and stuff like that.
I once didn't check my mail for a month, i had like over 1500 junk e-mails ffs.

I'd run them over in a mail van.

 

[NeoNite]

I almost get no spam ... mainly cause I set junk mail folder to immediatly purge, get rid of the spam.
And the ones ending up in my inbox.. pf.. 5 a day.. maybe less.
It used to be a lot worse though, but that's a long time ago.
I even have 1 e-mail account which is spam free

 

[Zxanphorian]

Sew his eyelids open so that he can watch all of this:

First you set him ablaze. After he has literally been burnt to a crisp and his plasma and blood is literally boiling, take him to the Marianas Trenches and scuba dive to the bottom with him. While he is under that water down there and drowning, start taking an icepick and jabbing at the burns. Before he loses all consciousness, swim him back to the top. Take him back to shore, then start pouring boiling water on them. Then what you do, is inch-by-inch, remove his epidermis with a meat carver. After that, start cutting ripping off each fingernail and toenail, one by one. Then cut off each toe and finger. Then, rip out his tongue and slice off his ears. After that is done, jab icepicks in his eyes and yank out the eyeballs. Fill his eye sockets and open wounds with maggots and piss ants.

After that is all said and done, put him in a tub of electric eels as he dies.

GOD DAMN I'M MORBID!

THE BEST YET!!!!
One thing that i found a little inacurate: The marianas trench is bigger than the tallness of Mount Everest. You two will be dead from compression before you come up.

 

[TomWithTheWeather]

Put the "black oil" in their eyes.

 

[Trueblood]

OOOO i wana go!

Grab his nuts, and drag him up the eiffel tower making sure his head bounces off every step. At the top, chop off his arms and legs...oh and but a sledge hammer to the balls, then lob him off the top...making sure he lands in a pit of S**T full of glass.
And if my some mircle he survives, let the Medics fix him...the kidknap him, burry him alive with very pissed of Scorpians.
If all not possible....a shotgun to the face will do me fine

 

[Myrmidion]

THE BEST YET!!!!
One thing that i found a little inacurate: The marianas trench is bigger than the tallness of Mount Everest. You two will be dead from compression before you come up.

I think they'd probably implode before they came up - that thing has eaten submarines before .

 

[Balton]

make them read their crap

 

[fauker]

road salt.

What, make them eat it? That stuff tastes good

 

[ZenPirate]

the only way to deal with spammers is the slashdot way
http://slashdot.org/articles/02/12/06/1554227.shtml?tid=133

 

[Ice]

Heh.



Make them buy their own X10.