Starry Might said:....
Looks like SaD got her!
Yes .
A little bit OffTopic : 1. of October is the last update before I´m offline for a little vacation .
The next update after the 1. will be around the 12. or 13.
And now
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Starry Might said:....
Looks like SaD got her!
I see. Hope you have fun!SaD said:Yes .
A little bit OffTopic : 1. of October is the last update before I´m offline for a little vacation .
The next update after the 1. will be around the 12. or 13.
And now.
Here you should use a pair of commas to set off the prepositional phrase (who...”rikki”) rather than using brackets. This keeps it as part of the sentence, instead of being a separate thought in the middle of the sentence. A comma is needed after with. The aside about the mercenary fleets is superfluous. The 7th and Blue Vanguard, if I remember correctly, are not mainstream, epic created merc divisions, thus their names have no meaning to your average UT player, who would recognize Thunder Crash, Iron Guard, or Liandri’s Angels. The name of the shuttle and its explanation are also irrelevant to the bio at hand. They have no bearing on the game the player will be playing, unless you mod in a shuttle. In which case you could include that info with the shuttle.Erika Kolman (who prefers to go by her nickname ''Rikki'') is a privateer who trades with and shuttles goods for various mercenary fleets (including the 7th Mercenary Fleet and the Blue Vanguard) in her personal shuttle, the ''Kon Rikki'' (a pun on ''Kon Tiki'').
Again this aside, while it helps develop her preferences for television, does nothing but detract from the overall narrative about the characters history. Wether or not she likes watching the tournament on Neurovision is irrelevant to her reasons for becoming a contestant. She could love it. She could hate it. She could have just been flipping channels on a commercial break. Any way you put it, it still doesn’t do anything for the overall story at hand.||One evening, Rikki was watching the Tournament on Neurovision (she's not a fan of it, but there was nothing else on worth watching that night).
Starting sentences with a conjunction is incorrect. Its harder to read.||And so she's recently entered the Tournament to catch up with Hadrian and get the full story from him.
(Comma!) "battle, and"Her quiet strength in battle and her lethality with the Minigun have won the admiration of most Tournament contestants and fans.
Furthermore, her disarmingly beautiful face and her strong-willed, yet gentle, personality have captivated lots of men, fans and competitors alike (including Wraith of the SuperNova team...).||
I made up the Blue Vanguard, but the 7th Mercenary Fleet IS an Epic/Digital Extremes thing!Vailias said:The 7th and Blue Vanguard, if I remember correctly, are not mainstream, epic created merc divisions, thus their names have no meaning to your average UT player, who would recognize Thunder Crash, Iron Guard, or Liandri’s Angels.
Prism's Bio ([b]Boldface[/b] mine) said:Raised on the crippled Capships of the 7th Mercenary fleet, Prism is part engineer, part gun for hire. She takes her name from the custom eyepiece she designed while inspecting bulkheads for micro-fractures.
Starry Might said:I made up the Blue Vanguard, but the 7th Mercenary Fleet IS an Epic/Digital Extremes thing!
:tup:Kantham said:Very nice work, should probably fit well with a millitary assault map or something of that kind, but not with the original content of the game for me.
But well, looking at it again, she have a old school looking armor, it would be great if you could remplace the camo by something solid. EDIT: Solid, just push your imagination , slaughter . Just making a different version, because i basicly like all the rest exept the camo texture over her armor. Maybe the blue skin will look better
yapStarry Might said:Has she captivated you the way Kolman captivated me? :tup:
Thanx . I´m sure I have lotsa fun .Starry Might said:I see. Hope you have fun!
It´s on the release-queue with link now.It got mirrored while I was in Dreamland (sleeping)Starry Might said:EDIT: Just thought I'd add that even though the Release-Queue still says that Rikki isn't mirrored yet (as of this writing), she's actually available - I poked around the FileWorks earlier today and found her (I downloaded her from FileFront) :
You're welcome! (The 7th Mercenary Fleet is also mentioned at the official "UT 2004" website's "UT 2004" "Roster" section - scroll down to "SuperNova".)Vailias said:ahh thanks. I stand corrected. I had not remembered that bio.
Way to tie in that detail.
That's okay. (Thanks for the great compliments, as well! )Vailias said:anyway sorry to have turned this into an english debate. I usually don't care about english that much. You show that you think out your character's place in the universe, rather than just throwing some things together that sound cool. I respect that quite a bit, and with a little polish to your writing, it can really shine.
Good!MäxX said:yapStarry Might said:Has she captivated you the way Kolman captivated me?
A-HA! So that's what happened!SaD said:It´s on the release-queue with link now.It got mirrored while I was in Dreamland (sleeping)Starry Might said:EDIT: Just thought I'd add that even though the Release-Queue still says that Rikki isn't mirrored yet (as of this writing), she's actually available - I poked around the FileWorks earlier today and found her (I downloaded her from FileFront) :
Mr. UglyPants said:Another awesome skin Slaughter nice work!
Was obviously a great idea, that`s definitaly one of the most beautiful ladies I`ve seen in the tournament for some time.Starry Might said:....
Good!
I wanted her to be pretty (to make it abundantly clear that her brother Hadrian's good looks aren't a fluke! ), so I told Slaughter to give her Aryss's eyes and Diva's lips (the latter are recolored).
....
D3@thChild said:With no doubt one of the best skins for this model i´ve ever seen, everything is very correct and in place i like it very much. Slaughter awesome work so far dude you´ve inspired me to skin again and turn my eyes once more to this great game. I have a few new skins in the forge too hehe skinning.....skinning... i love it Will post wips as soon as i have someting worth of showing, thx again Slaughter .
I'm not Slaughter, but...wow.D3@thChild said:With no doubt one of the best skins for this model i´ve ever seen, everything is very correct and in place i like it very much. Slaughter awesome work so far dude you´ve inspired me to skin again and turn my eyes once more to this great game. I have a few new skins in the forge too hehe skinning.....skinning... i love it Will post wips as soon as i have someting worth of showing, thx again Slaughter .
Your welcome!MäxX said:Was obviously a great idea, that`s definitaly one of the most beautiful ladies I`ve seen in the tournament for some time.
Of course Satin is the all-time-fav
Starry Might said:I'd like to see what you're up to (when you can show it, of course!). I have your "UT2003 Commandos" and "NecrisTeam", and I like 'em. :tup: