PuFVivor - The Show

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Omega-Seven

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Ok, here is my promise to you guys:

I have a midterm Tuesday morning (@8:30am!! Physics!!) so I wont be in a very happy mood, so the episode will suck. But I will write Week3 this week!!!!!! If not tuesday, then wednesday. And if not wednesday, then Thursday. And If i write it thursday, it'll be extra funny and make even less sense, since I'm going out to a bar-club with friends again and I'll be drunk when i type it up (probably something like an ewok kills everyone with an enhanced minigun) =) Unless I pass out on the floor. Kinda hard to type like that.

But Coming up:
Week 3 Challenge - LMS on DM - I Forget what it is called, for Immunity and an Instagib rifle.

More sex, more violence, more surprises, and a nali cow explodes! Also...someone returns from the eternal-respawn!! Who is it? What is this bot's agenda???
 

garrett

dreaming lucidly
Aug 23, 2000
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crap i start school tomorrow(Tuesday) i am sad, lol but it will be nice to see more of my friends again, i wish school was 1 day of hanging out with friends
 

Omega-Seven

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[Cue 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' intro music]
[Pan across DM-Peak]
[Millionaire music is distorted, promptly cut... hyper fast Survivor theme plays]
[Overlay Logo]

Week 3

Who is left?
Archon
Alarik
Xan
Nikita
Cryss
and Ivana...

Who will leave this week??

Archon - "Oh my god it has been a long week. I haven't slept at all. Who knew Ivana was a total Nympho? I mean, Christ, she keeps chasing me all over the map shouting 'Gimme some sugar, baby!' How am I supposed to get anything done? I can't sleep either...I mean, sheesh...
[Show Ivana Interview footage - Ivana Grabs camera and shakes camera wildly shouting, "Archon needs more VIAGRA! BRING MORE VIAGRA DAMNIT!"] Aside from that, a lot of other weird stuff has been going on too. Take Xan for instance. You may have noticed, he's walking around naked now, except for this mask. We are supposed to call him 'Darth Xan - Sith lord of Alpha and Omega.' Personally, I think he's lost it. And I don't think he's ever been outside his power armor either; I mean, look at him, he's so white we could probably reflect a signal to UFO's off his skin. I tell you, he and Cryss go well together. Oh god. Ivana's coming this way. Make this interview last longer, please! I'll make it worth your while! Pleeeeeeeease!"

Alarik - <looks at Xan; shudders> "'nuff said about the m0-bot. There's been a lot happening this week... for starters, |BFH (Bots From Hell) members myself and Nikita have met with Ivana and Archon, when they weren't... uh... screwing around... and we've come to a conclusion..."

[Alarik, Archon, Ivana, Nikita in shieldbelt room]
Archon - Ok, First rule of PuFVivor is... XAN is a m0. Second rule of PuFVivor is... XAN IS A m0...Thir
Alarik - Shut it.
Nikita - Look, we're all here for a reason... This week another one of us has to go. And it stands to reason that the most offensive should go.
Ivana - That would be Cryss. Case closed.
Alarik - Well, There is another...Xan.
Archon - Yes, Always there are two...er...
Nikita - I think we can agree that Cryss is mostly harmless right now. Xan is more skilled than she is...
Archon - And smells worse now that he is....ewwww nekkid.
Ivana - Well...
Alarik - How about this then? All four of us vote for Xan off the map unless he wins the challenge... Otherwise we vote Cryss off.

Alarik - "And that plan got approval even from Ivana. Since Neither I nor Nikita have any particular worry of being voted out, we're planning to play this week's challenge more along the lines of denying Xan a victory. I think one way or another, his days are numbered... there was that 'visitor' who snuck on earlier this week. You wouldn't happen to know anything about how he got into the server, do you? well?"

[Night time. Ripper room.]
[Inky darkness climbs onto ledge, picks up ripper]
[Unknown pauses under torch... a black, distorted skin! Runs and hides]

[Day time... Archon is running from Ivana screaming "I need to rest!"]
[Xan pickups rocket launcher]
Xan - I am the Alpha and the Omega!
[Unknown sneaks behind Xan, and Imapact hammers Xan!]
Raynor - You like that? Let's Rock!
[Xan lands in courtyard, runs into castle]
[Raynor jumps down into courtyard, runs after Xan]
Raynor - Squeal Xan, Squeal!
[Xan runs past flak room, onto pathway]
[Raynor runs onto pathway, grabs thighpads]
[Xan sneaks from lower pathway, impact hammers Raynor off path]
Xan - Objective destroyed
Raynor - [Red jack - connection refused by server]
[Hydralisk fires needle at Xan - hits, Xan loses 15 Health]
[Xan flees; Xan picked up minigun]
[Mutalisk; fires Glave Wurm - Misses]
<From IRC (Raynor): How d'ya like THEM apples? They're on loan from my Honey Kerrigan...queen of blades, maybe you've heard of her? MuAHAHAHAHAHAHA>
[Xan Fires minigun at Mutalisk; Mutalisk explodes in blood]
Xan - I just slaughtered that guy!
[Hydralisk burrows]
Xan - I'm under attack!
Archon - Ivana! Please! I love you...but....I NEED TO SLEEP!
[Hyrdalisk unburrows...Hydralisk is confused by thigh pads]
Hydralisk - KkkkKsksskkkhshsshhhkkk?
[Xan Fires at Hydralisk with Rocket Launcher; Hydralisk explodes]
Xan - Yeeha!

Xan - "Witness my erection."

Cryss - "Why does everyone hate me? I am soooooo misunderstood! I was just trying to be friendly and nice to Xan, but now he doesn't even want talk to me! No one does! I just know Ivana is plotting something against me with her loyal, dog-like companion Archon... and Nikita and Alarik are up to something too... what is a poor girl supposed to do? Everyone is against me! And I didn't do anything! I mean, sure, I did ask for the Big Keg O' Health...but I found it first! Finders keepers right? The others all hate me! They get rid of my lover Raynor...twice. It's all that Ivana's fault. *sob* That....BEEEETCH! I'm gonna get that Ivana! And that queen of kerrigan...ice..skating.... whoever she is, I'm coming after you!"

This week's Challenge - LMS-Curse][
Announcer - This week, the challenge is standard Last Man Standing on DM-Curse ][. Last man standing is simple... the last bot standing is this week's winner, getting immunity and an instagib rifle! No translocators, two lives each. Good luck and aim straight!

[Xan picked up shield belt]
[Alarik got the minigun]
[Nikita got the pulse rifle, the ripper]
[Cryss got the sniper rifle]
[Cryss put a bullet through Archon's head]
Cryss - I'm sorry, did I blow your head apart?
[Cryss was ripped to shreds by Ivana's Flak cannon]
Ivana - Only I give him head!
[Xan got the Shock rifle]
[Nikita was electrified by Xan's shock rifle]
Nikita - Enemy is here.
Alarik - I need backup!
Archon - On my way.
[Cryss got the GES Bio Rifle]
[Ivana got the damage amplifier]
[Xan rocket jumps; hides on top of map]
[Nikita got the Flak cannon]
[Ivana fires ripper at Cryss]
[Ivana Killed herself]
[Ivana ripped a chunk out of Alarik with the ripper]
Alarik - Same team you idiot!
[Cryss fires at Ivana with Bio Rifle secondary]
[Ivana ate a load of Cryss' dripping green goo]
[Cryss killed herself]
Announcer - Cryss is out of the match! Ivana is out of the match!
Cryss - Ivana, you must like to eat the goo!
Ivana - Die bitch!
[Archon was ripped to shreds by Nikita's Flak cannon]
Nikita - oops.
Archon - nice.
Alarik - Ha Ha Ha.
Nikita - Boom!
[Xan Fires shock combo into rifle room]
[Nikita was ripped apart by Xan's Shockwave]
[Alarik loses 90 health]
Alarik - Xan you llama cheating camping son of-
[Xan fires Enforcer at Alarik]
[Xan riddles alarik's corpse full of holes with the Enforcer]
Announcer - This week's winner: Xan!


Announcer - now comes the hardest part of the week. One of you must leave us. It's a difficult choice, but it will ensure that the most godlike bot will be the sole remaining PuFVivor. Make your votes

Alarik - Cryss. A deal is a deal.
Nikita - Cryss. <shrugs>
Archon - Ivana. My...er.... Boomslang is starting to breakdown from overuse!
Ivana - Cryss. "Bye Bye Bye biyatch"
Xan - Nikita. I will make Alarik my bitch.
Cryss - Ivana. She's a ho, and you know it!

Announcer - The server has spoken. Cryss, do you have any last words before you logoff?

Cryss quit (I hate you m0's. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire)

Who is next? Tune in for Week 4...
 

Omega-Seven

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I almost forgot (no....wait...I did forget...a cow was supposed to explode)

[Bruce Campbell (Ash - Army of Darkness) stands opposite a Nali Cow]

Cow - m00000
Ash - Let me tell you something; You ain't leading but two people: Jack and ****. And Jack just left town.
Cow - m00000!
[Ash shoots nali cow with shot gun; Nali cow explodes]
Ash - Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

(If you haven't seen Army of Darkness, i'd recommend renting it if you can...check under 'cult classics' if not in action or comedy ... you'll recognize many one-liners and similarities between the movie and various FPS games =)

This...is my BOOMSTICK.....
 

Omega-Seven

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Lay down your odds =)

*Bump*

=) Yes you can vote who you want to go next... but they might not necessarily BE the one who gets red-jacked off the map =)

Remaining Bots
Archon
Alarik
Nikita
Ivana
Xan

Remember, the sole surviving bot gets Godlike status and all stats dialed up to maximum. And hoppy behavior. =)

Ok, ok, and a trip to Disneyland. But that's it. They might camp with a sniper rifle on top of the triple wheel thingy, and you do NOT want to be in sight if that happens...=)
 
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