Odes to the weapons of UT

[Wolf Blackstar]

Wolfy's version - ode to the shock rifle

Oh slayer of flag runners, wonderful thing,
you cut down the players with far lower ping.
Though sometimes when lagged you'll shoot me in the back,
and sometimes I'm forced to rely on the Flak,
nothing is better, it's solid as rock,
my best friend of all times, the Rifle of Shock.

You are the reason they say that I camp.
A Monster Kill happens when I use you with amp.
I'll take you with me to the enemy's base;
I'll knock snipers off towers on CTF-Face.
DM, CTF, you're the weapon I use most;
wreaking the slaughter on enemy host.

Vengeance is mine when I heft thee in hand;
Cutting the enemy down where they stand.
You are the team's best friend and morale booster;
and you are what helps me fight against Rooster.
He'll use you against me, it's easy to see;
But shock duels are the most fun for me.

Though the foe leaps from crate to ramp to tower,
they're stopped in mid-air with your awesome power.
Properly used, you will keep our flag safe,
You're deadly when firing combos while I strafe.
How I love to wield thee, to feel thy trigger and stock,
my friend in the battle, my Rifle of Shock.


-

]LoL[Wolf|PuF

-]LoL[ Counter-Sniper and Shock-Ho

 

[Morety]

ode to the Ripper

I'll grab you in Niven and I'll spam up the halls
you'll spread out the gibs and tear paint from the walls
you're more fun to use than a can of paint stripper.
This bud's for you, my good friend the ripper.

I used to be able to steer you around,
but now you explode when you hit any ground.
You're great in Caves when they grab up my flag
a blast at their feet, and in lava they bathe.

I spam up a room with blade after blade
come back in a bit to see the soup that I've made
with the enema's gib's, and all of the gore
the kidney's and livers are lining the floor.

I squish as I step through your red aftermath
I slip the I slide in a bloody gore bath
Once in a while there's a thrill that I've got
when I hear the announcer screaming "Headshot!"

One thing you do that makes me laugh out my guts
is when shot after shot hits the enema's nuts
I think the occasion for a new mod has arised
where the announcer will shout out "Circumsized"

I'd love it if legs and arms were to fall off
in the next patch's graphics, man I'd get right off
But ripper I've got to say just one more thing
If I use you much more, I'll be suicide king.

 

[Morety]

Ode to the Mini-gun

You're the love of Troll's life
your bullets cut like a knife
When I'm on the giving end you're lots of fun.

When your bullets, I'm receiving
I respawn quick, not believing
how quickly you cut me down, oh mini gun.

Your secondary fire I'll abuse
But primary has little use
I love how quick the shields disappear

When fools try running away
their backsides I will spray
and it takes no time 'til their deathcry I hear.

But one can't beat the time,
a joyous feeling sublime
when I've got you coupled up with an amp.

I'll sit and I'll spin
spamming all who're within
range, and with blood the floors become damp.

 

[Krypton|BuF]

oh, once again:

"Too much Time Productions present:"

 

[_Zd_JOLT1r_]

wow

Man I really love your work Morety....
I have printed them all out.
Cool odes dude really!!!
Big up.

 

[darx]

Great odes, Morety

n/t

 

[Milambyr]

Hey it's hard to sing these lyrics...
I got some fatty beats for the flak cannon and the shock rifle though and a wicked guitar riff for the translocator...but singing these are hard! And there's no real chorus..maybe if you reorganize em a little bit so there's a nice lyrical setup i could make these MP3's!
If i get millions of dollars i'll share it with all my favorite PuF'ers! (which right now include all of you, nobody has really pissed me off yet)

 

[Reaper]

Is that a promise?

Be my Pimp!!

 

[Zaccix]

LOL. Those rock

PuF - Where the creative people hang.

Like, hang out, not hang.....oh never mind. Carry on.

 

[Finsternis]

Very nice

now my turn on the shock :

Ode to the Shock-Rifle, by Finsternis
received from a higher power (boredom) at work.

You're shine's as blue as just heaven could be
my rifle of shock, I truly love thee
Your primary streaks out with infinite range
and many report victim's faces looked strange
as the bright ball of death
got near to their place
and with a smile on my face
I created a mess.

 

[B]

Morety, You the man! more more more!!!!!!!: D

 

[Kappo]

a first for me and all other UT'ers

amazing... brilliant... utterly moving... *applause applause*

you know, this is a first for me and all other ut'ers im sure;

i never thought i'd hear myself say this, but i think you really do have too much time on your hands, now quit wasting time writing these bloody brilliant ode's and get back to fraggind god-damnit!!!

(but make sure the mp3's are released before you do ;-) )

maybe i'll think about writing one for assault and/or frigate... maybe bridge too.... oh well, enough jabbering, i better start writing

happy writing.... errrrr, fragging!!!

 

[Milambyr]

Start writing these poems as if they were songs and i'll make em MP3's, i don't wanna change things around cause than it would be all my work, and work sucks, so don't make me change the words around!

 

[Morety]

Okay, you sound pretty serious that you'll put something on tape. Since you put it that way, here's some choruses for the flak/shock/translocater.

Without knowing the beat/timing etc, I'll show how I'd arrange them if I were laying down the tracks.

x-loc:
7 verses total,
2 then chorus, 2 then chorus, 1 then solo, 2 then chorus and end.

Well I throw you up
and I throw you around
if I throw you too high I go splat on the ground
translocater.....
translocater.....

Shock:
5 verses total,
2 then chorus, 2 then chorus, 1 then solo fading to end

You're my friend in the halls
and in an open space
you knock people off
of the ledge in face
I'm a shock ho
A combo blast explodin' shock ho.

Flak:
4 verses total,
1 then chorus, 1 then chorus, 1 then chorus, solo, 1 then chorus and end.

with a flakball here
and a flakball there
here a leg, there an arm
everywhere devastating harm
^--too much like "Old McDonald"?

 

[hyrulian]

...I just have to bump this topic up.

Quite interesting.

Never thought I would find someone more devoted to UT.

 

[Morety]

lol, oh it gets worse...check these out...

Minigun Song

The Spooge Gun Song

Sniper Rifle Song

The Impact Hammer Song <---with TinMan doing harmonica. He emailed me the files from Sweden A bit mellower than the previous ones

 

[Odie|BuF]

guess he wasnt kidding huh love the songs an the odes you guys r great rotflmfao

 

[Peregrine]

Hey M0rety. Why don't you post the link to your tunes???
The Minigun Tune FREAKING ROCKS!!!

 

[Morety]

lmao Perigrine. Look two posts up

Thanks bro.

 

[Buscemi]

Bravo! All i can say is: Bravo!