1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Two Factor Authentication is now available on BeyondUnreal Forums. To configure it, visit your Profile and look for the "Two Step Verification" option on the left side. We can send codes via email (may be slower) or you can set up any TOTP Authenticator app on your phone (Authy, Google Authenticator, etc) to deliver codes. It is highly recommended that you configure this to keep your account safe.

My life is over in a few days. ;)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Philophobos, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. Philophobos

    Philophobos New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2001
    Messages:
    495
    Likes Received:
    0
    Honestly is one thing, sure, but I can understand how looking longingly at another women for an extended period of time could be a little upsetting to a wife/girlfriend.

    Even so, I've explained to my fiancee at least a few times that I love her and want to stick with her, and that is why I'm marrying her. Looking at a hot, 20 year-old woman in skimpy dress is something that most guys would do before even realizing what they're doing. That's just sex, it has nothing to do with emotional attachment, comittment, etc. Guys don't (or shouldn't) marry for that, or else they'd have to marry every hot chick they bumped into. So while I've told her that I'll do my best not to ogle every hot young thing that passes by, I've asked her to realize that even when I slip up it really means little in regard to my relationship with her. She doesn't need to worry that I'm unhappy with her or that I love Hot Young Thing #23 more than her; a light kick to the crotch is all I need. :p
     
  2. Ghost3021

    Ghost3021 Registered Hobbit

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2004
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    0
    heh me and my GF have the same thing..."looky no touchy" is our moto. ;)
    it works for both of us! :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2005
  3. Keganator

    Keganator White as Snow Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2001
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    0
    The number one answer you will be saying for the rest of your life (that not even my father had figured out):

    "Yes, dear."

    And then follow through on whatever you agreed too. ;)

    Also, remember that women can sense body language about 10x better than men can. Don't know how well you can use that, but it's something to remember :D
     
  4. das_ben

    das_ben Concerned.

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2000
    Messages:
    5,878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Eh, try to make the best of it. :p
     
  5. ant75

    ant75 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2001
    Messages:
    1,050
    Likes Received:
    0
    People marrying, people leaving because of their jobs or family obligations... Man is this forum growing old.

    /goes to play Inf again and free his mind from the harsh reality

    CONGRATS btw!
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2005
  6. TheShiningWizard

    TheShiningWizard Because it's more fantastical.

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2000
    Messages:
    2,644
    Likes Received:
    0
    At least we still have little Geno. :)
     
  7. Hadmar

    Hadmar Queen Bitch of the Universe

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2001
    Messages:
    5,468
    Likes Received:
    29
    I'm sure there's a special Inf clause in the marriage contract and he won't leave.
     
  8. Crowze

    Crowze Bird Brain

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2002
    Messages:
    3,556
    Likes Received:
    1
    And if not, why not? :p

    Congrats and good luck, I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of advice having little experince of marriage myself, but always remember that she is right and you are wrong ;).
     
  9. (SDS)benmcl

    (SDS)benmcl Why not visit us here in the real world.

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    1,897
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok, now I am depressed.
     
  10. Rostam

    Rostam PSN: Rostam_

    Joined:
    May 1, 2001
    Messages:
    2,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why? Geno > you

    Ah... I see, depressed huh... :p
     
  11. Philophobos

    Philophobos New Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2001
    Messages:
    495
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for all the congrats and advice guys.

    We're back from the honeymoon now, just starting to figure out how to live life with the constant presence of another person. The honeymoon went great, the wedding went great, and so far, married life is going great...we're only two days into it though. ;)

    And now, some random thoughts that need gettin' out:

    Most interesting wedding gift: A big bucket o' lube from www.cheaplubes.com. Luckily, this was't opened in front of her father. :D

    Sex is weird. I suppose I should start by saying that she and I are some of those crazy midwest baptists. As such, we were heavily indoctrinated that sex before marriage would make the world explode or something. That started mattering less and less to us the more obvious it became to us that we were going to end up married, but that kind of indoctrination is hard to shake. And we figured we had waited so long anyway, we might as well wait for the wedding.

    Anyway...sex is weird and awkward at the moment since we both came into this thing as virgins (we're committed to working on it though ;) ). Porn alone doesn't prepare you for what the real thing is like.* I knew this, but I guess I was still surprised at the difference. Hmmm...I think it's time for more practice. :D

    *Yes, I know that as a "good little baptst," I shouldn't have been looking at porn. I'm fully aware that I'm often a hypocritical bastard.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2005
  12. OpFor

    OpFor Feeling suicide, thats O.K.

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2001
    Messages:
    1,198
    Likes Received:
    0
    If he can get laid, I can get laid.

    *OpFor wanders off with a condom in hand*
    :lol:
     
  13. zeep

    zeep :(

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2001
    Messages:
    1,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Congrats the both of you!
    I think it's great that you've waited until you are married before having sex. Your bond can/will only be stronger because of that.
     
  14. OICW

    OICW Reason & Logic > Religion

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2000
    Messages:
    2,374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Or you'll be just embarassed at how messy and sloppy you both were and Approx is probably wondering why his balls didn't explode earlier ;)
     
  15. TheShiningWizard

    TheShiningWizard Because it's more fantastical.

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2000
    Messages:
    2,644
    Likes Received:
    0
    (Courtesy of TheOnion)

    Horribly Awkward First Sexual Encounter 'Worth The Wait' For Christian Newlyweds

    CHARLESTON, SC — John and Linda McCue, joined in holy matrimony Sunday before friends, family and their Lord at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church, said the incredibly awkward wedding-night consummation of their love was "well worth the wait."

    "I'm so glad we waited until we got married—it made it so much more special," said the 26-year-old Linda, who is "pretty sure" John's penis penetrated her vaginal opening during the brief, fumbling lovemaking session. "I can't imagine what a letdown our first sexual experience would have been if we'd done it at some point during our five years of dating."

    John, 27, agreed. "As I prepared, sweat-drenched and terror-struck, to insert my semi-erect penis into my petrified new bride, I couldn't help but think what a precious, magical moment it was. Then, as Linda started to cry out from the anticipation of pain from the first-ever breaching of her tightly constricted vaginal walls, a tear of joy streamed down my cheek."

    According to the devout Lutherans, after retiring to their bridal suite at the Charleston Marriott East, Linda decided to initiate the evening of romance and dread by excusing herself to the bathroom, where she spent "approximately an hour" changing into the floor-length cotton nightgown she had purchased especially for the occasion.

    Recalled John: "When I saw Linda emerge from the bathroom, a vision in billowing, opaque cloth, her head and hands peeking tantalizingly from the tight collar and cuffs, the moment we first fell in love came rushing back to me in a wave of adoration and fear."

    After an estimated 45 minutes spent in prayer and devotionals to ensure the smoothest possible act of coitus, John made sure the windows and doors were all securely locked, and that all windowshades and blinds were closed. He then reached to his nightstand to turn out the lights "to contribute to the feeling of romance" and "because Linda refused to let me touch her nightgown until the room was completely dark."

    Trembling in giddy anticipation and fright, the longtime couple climbed under the sheets and blankets, where John took his place on top of his blushing, sobbing bride.

    "As with millions of young newlyweds who haven't yet had sex," John said, "there was some nervousness and confusion at first. But after a couple of minutes, we figured out that it would be easier if Linda separated her legs to facilitate entry."

    Penile insertion was somewhat complicated by John's refusal to assist the navigation process by touching himself—an act the Bible strictly prohibits—but a few more minutes of unsteady shifting and jabbing enabled his penis to "almost certainly" enter Linda.

    Having at last achieved probable sexual congress, the couple was brought to new heights of nervous, clumsy passion. "As I ran my trembling hands over John's rigid shoulders," Linda said, "I said a prayer thanking our Lord Jesus for giving us the strength to wait for this wonderful, fulfilling moment. It certainly was every bit as special as I'd hoped."

    Added Linda: "I'm sure the first time isn't anywhere near as magical for all those young people who don't save themselves for marriage. Now I know why God wanted us to wait."

    As the sexual act wore on, Linda said it grew gloriously tolerable, describing the experience as "endurable beyond my wildest dreams."

    "Toward the end," she said, "I was almost relaxed enough to enjoy myself, and then, of course, John ejaculated." Linda declined to elaborate on her new husband's sexual climax, but said, "I can definitely say that the encounter, which yesterday would have been an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God, was noticeably pleasurable, and probably even somewhat erotic in nature."

    John agreed wholeheartedly, calling their wedding-night union "the most exciting minutes of my life." Immediately after finishing, the newlyweds took turns showering.

    As for the future of the couple's sex life, John said he is full of hope. "I'd like to maybe try actually touching Linda's vagina with my hand at some point," he said. "Then again, I don't want to rush things. Also, I've heard that the vagina kind of smells bad."

    "I certainly hope the Lord will now bless us with a child after this wonderful night," Linda said. "If not, we may be forced to repeat this beautiful experience."


    :2thumb:
     
  16. -Snakebite-

    -Snakebite- Hero

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2001
    Messages:
    1,112
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think sex is wierd for most people when its their first time, especially if you dont have the money to pay afterwards, you get the akward moment where John is asking for the money young Stephene worked for. The fumbling in your pocket for "the money that was here just a moment ago" and then the inivetible beating.

    It just gets better with time and practice, relax and enjoy it, don't take it seriously.
     

Share This Page