sorry to hear that Chrysaor. I know what it's like to loose someone, well, not a friend, but a close family member. It's kinda weird, almost creepy how any random things you may have done before, now you suddenly won't do. Maybe the way you act; maybe a habbit you started, or quit; maybe you are or were better or worse at doing things you have done or did. Seems to me it is the first sign of growth, and usually happens very shortly after the incident, as if a greater power is telling you better things will come. To me it appears as a vision, and is what helps me through this kind of loss. I will go no further into that, but I hope you and their family and his friends will get through this.