Divorce
- Thread starter lovebug
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So you've been through a divorce?
Congratulations! You made the right decision. Unless the decision was not yours, in which case you have my condolences.
In either case, you may now feel free to screw any douchebag you want with little (rubbers and birth control are still a good idea) or no consequences attached. Just don't expect him to respect you!
Or, if you are still feeling attached to your now-insignificant other, you could always start a long, arduous court battle that is nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to hold on to some piece of that person. Either option seems to be socially acceptable. Socially expected, even. So you'd better get to it!
If you'd like the former option I'd be happy to give you my number. I'll even front the airfare! (But you'd better be worth it. And bring lube. Toys could be a problem when you go through customs.)
If you'd like the latter option I know some excellent domestic-dispute attorneys. I could also refer you to a professional hitman if you simply want revenge. Swift death via silenced assault rifle is always the best revenge. But be warned, international jobs can be quite costly. How much is revenge worth to you?
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shadow_dragon
is ironing his panties!
I've never been married. I did come very close when I was 19, but fortunately it didn't happen. I believe now that marriage is just a piece of paper and has no place in the modern age. When you get married all you're doing is allowing government and law into your love life. You're taking an uncertain, ever-changing emotion (love) and putting it into a superfluous legally-binding contract. That doesn't sound like smart business to me. I also believe that marriage brings more pressure onto a relationship, i.e. many relationships that failed may not have failed as soon or as hard if there was no marriage attached.
You'll find that you can do perfectly well in life, society, and love, without bringing marriage into the equation. If you're doing it because you want tax breaks, well, you could always incorporate instead. Lots of successful couples do just that.
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Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
I guess you're implying that I am sour or bitter towards the concept of marriage? That's not it at all. It has nothing to with monogamy or love. I have normal, happy relationships just like everyone else.
It's just that as I got older and more business-oriented I started to realize what a poor concept marriage is in respect to modern life. I try to view every aspect of life as a business transaction. The idea is to come out better off than you went in. With marriage, the return-on-investment can be (and very often is) negative. The entire institution is in place simply to drive the economy. There are much more effective (and lucrative) ways to help drive the economy. This isn't even bringing into account the religious aspect.
Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
Marriage is many things to different people: commitment, convenience, financial and even visa based concerns.
shadow_dragon
is ironing his panties!
I've not been in the same position LB but I hope all works out for the best.
There's not much to be said other than, whatever the reason of the divorce, you're better of without them from this point on.
There's not much to be said other than, whatever the reason of the divorce, you're better of without them from this point on.
A good explanation for not knowing what you're talking about enough to be able to answer a single one of Lovebug's questions then?
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I was going to disagree with you, then I was going to agree with you, but ultimately I think I'm going to disagree with you on the grounds that your statement is not universally true. There is something good about having a partner in life to whom you've publicly made a commitment.
Marriage is a very difficult thing. It's the glue that makes it just a little more difficult to hit the door when things get tough. It's very rewarding to work out a problem with your partner and come through it in the end. It's a very good thing if you have children together as a constant marriage is ultimately good for them as well.
On the other hand, being tied to someone that no longer shares your values is a giant pain in the ass and percentages show that it is not unlikely that it will happen.
![[GU]elmur_fud](/data/avatars/s/47/47919.jpg?1425583194){kind=avatar}
[GU]elmur_fud
I have balls of Depleted Uranium
My parents got divorced on my 7th birthday which was kinda uncool of them but I have never been divorced and hope to never be so. I tell people I am happily married which is true but I mean that I am happy to be married not that my marriage is blissful. Marriage is difficult and hard work. So why am I ITT? Simple. Moral support.
[GU]elmur_fud;2571619 said:
For some reason I always see you as a high school or college student.
Anyway, I can't say it's always easy either, but I'm content. For me it's building a relationship so you have a friend and somebody to hang with in your 70's and 80's when everyone else in your family that was older than you are dead. Many friends will be dead, or can't travel. If you didn't have children then you really have nobody in your "golden years."
Of course getting married isn't the reason to do these things, but it's something I've thought about.
As someone who's been married for 22 years, I can't imagine a life without my wife.
Having absolute trust in someone is worth more than I could possibly tell you.
I'm really sorry things didn't work out with you guys and I just hope that after the dust has settled, you're both mature enough to sort this out ammicably and with little fuss as possible.
Easier said than done but I've witnessed some really nasty divorces between couples and it aint pretty, especially when there's kids involved because even though parents have got their best interests at heart, they're usually used as leverage and shields without you realising it.
It's usually the children that suffer the most from my observations.
Hope it all sorts itself out LB.
Having absolute trust in someone is worth more than I could possibly tell you.
I'm really sorry things didn't work out with you guys and I just hope that after the dust has settled, you're both mature enough to sort this out ammicably and with little fuss as possible.
Easier said than done but I've witnessed some really nasty divorces between couples and it aint pretty, especially when there's kids involved because even though parents have got their best interests at heart, they're usually used as leverage and shields without you realising it.
It's usually the children that suffer the most from my observations.
Hope it all sorts itself out LB.
Lots of friends have all gone through pretty crazy divorces and I've heard all the gritty details. So yes, I know what I'm talking about.
This is not only stupid, it is also wrong. Here is how it is wrong. Married people are healthier and live longer, make more money, save more money, have more sex, etc. So as a "business transaction," It is extremely good business. Like all "business transactions," of course, one should make sure they find the right person to spend their life with. You don't want an AOL Time Warner marriage. You know, the ones that everyone knew was a bad idea at the time and it went sour almost immediately, but you stuck it out a few years? Yeah.
Here is why it is stupid. Business advice works great for business, but that is is. You shouldn't pick your food because of business decisions, you shouldn't date because of business decisions, you shouldn't pick sports to play because of business decisions. It is flat out ridiculous. It's like being one of the fucking idiots who read Sun Tzu and think that they are going to rock the financial markets for some unfucking fathomable reason. Try as you might to make a metaphor out of things, and as good as that metaphor may seem it doesn't translate literally.
No, I agree. I'm not against other people getting married. If it makes them happy or fulfills a personal need, that's great. I'm just against it for myself.
I just wanted to say that it's entirely possible to be with someone for 22 years and have absolute trust in them without being married. That's all.
Heh, right. Lets review:
That article is about happily married vs. unhappily married people. It has no relevance for those whose marital status remains single.
That article is discussing married men vs. divorced. Again, no relevance to those whose marital status remains single. Also, history has repeatedly shown that men who concentrate on their careers rather than marriage amass larger fortunes in the long run. Might have something to do with not having to spend all that money to support wives and kids, eh?
When you're single, you don't have to worry as much about frivolous spending because most of your purchases are likely to be smaller. You spend much less on food, clothing, and basic supplies because you need much less. You also don't need as much money in the bank for emergency purposes. Saving more while married is a necessity, especially if you've got two kids and a mortgage on the two-story in suburbia; if you lose your job and have three people to support, you'd better have a ton of money in savings. When you're single, you can probably scrape by for a few months with just a few grand. I've done it myself.
So you're saying that married couples definitely have more sex than unmarried couples? Sure, that makes total fucking sense.
I hope you don't actually believe that. I'm sure the real number is probably even for both. All I know is that I've never been starved for sex in any of my good non-married relationships.
You act as if it's that easy to figure out whether or not someone is "the one." Well, it's not. The divorce rate is over 50%. That right there should tell you how difficult it is to find that person. Marriage just isn't for everyone. Sorry if it's against your values, but seriously, just get the fuck over it already. Nobody is bothering you by not getting married.
Yeah, that's absolute bullshit. The metaphors actually do translate quite literally. Any fortune 500 CEO will tell you how much of a positive effect proper business ethics and practices can have on everyday life. People who live life with a structured business-oriented perspective tend to be much happier and much more successful. This has been the case for hundreds of years and the evidence of that is everywhere. If you want an example just look at Warren Buffet. He is arguably one of the most successful people in human history and he got there by applying his business-oriented outlook to every aspect of his life.
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