Doctor buf please help

[NeoNite]

Dear doctor buf, sir! SIR! SIR! Please sir, listen to poor me.

Dear doctor buf, my nose is running. And now it's hiding somewhere in the house? How do I remedy this sick illness? What medicine do I take?

Thank you doctor buf for your help.

Yours truly,
Patient guy

 

[NeoNite]

I don't know about this one, it seems dogdgy...

 

[NeoNite]

Dear doctor Buf,

I've been feeling a little under the weather. Basically, lots of:
sneezing
coughing
throwing up
diarrhea
swollen tonsils
bleeding anus
bleeding gums
blue and purple spots all over my body
swollen feet

I've taken an aspirine. Would that cure me? Thank you for your advice.

Oh yeah, and the big massive dumps as well. 10 to 15 times a day.

 

[Hadmar]

The dog/c seems trustworthy enough. Let em sniff.

I feel combining bleeding with aspirin might not be the best course of action.

Have you tried eating some gauze?

 

[NeoNite]

Yes, the dog seems like a fine chap. I'll let him have his way. On the neighbors first. Just to make sure he's for real. You never know right.
The gauze thing..
I did just try that. Thank you for the recommendation.

But ehh.. but there seems to be an enormous increase in my belly size. Is that normal?
It's as if all my organs were wrapped up by that gauze and fell into the bog of eternal stench?
Could that be something I need to worry about? Would aspirin help in this case?

 

[Hadmar]

did you check the gauze for curses? always check if it's cursed or not. you might want to ask a priest for help if it does not .... clean out by itself

 

[NeoNite]

That would be so awesome if it was indeed cursed. I do need to check that with a priest.
Any in particular you can recommend? Some real realiable priest, who knows everything about stuff?

I think that would be a great idea. Except for the faith thing. And the petana..pentanta..pentinanate..petnitan... UGH...
Now I feel really sick...

 

[Morety]

Try masturbating.

 

[Hadmar]

I don't personally have any priests lined up that could help, sorry.
But ...
> Try masturbating.
If you find the _right_ priest ...

 

[NeoNite]

Thank you Doctors buf, you are advice is heading in the right direction!

 

[Hunter]

If you find the _right_ priest ...

Does it have to be a priest? Otherwise I've been doing it wrong!

 

[Hadmar]

Oh no, a priest is not required. You can always just ask your friendly neighborhood demon for help.