Whatever you do...nomatter who wants to to go along and see it...do NOT go see Alone in the Dark. Unless of course you can...watch it for free somehow (wink) then yes, go ahead watch it....come back here...and tell me that I'm wrong to say that this movie is utter horseshiit.
I've seen stupid movies before, but it's been awhile since I laughed myself to tears and had to excuse myself because the film was so utterly crappy. Last time this happened to me was Glitter. Don't ask me why I was there, I'll fuking kill you.
This movie fails on so many levels and comes crashing downward in soo many ways....it's like watching someone EMP a heavy WW2 dogfight.
The worst part of the movie is watching Tara Reid act...O..M...F...G. People were shouting "Kill the b!tch" whenever she tried saying the chemical composition of some artifact in that raspey I-Dunno-wtf-I'm-doing-LOLIlikebeersandsexanddrugsLOL voice. She is supposed to be a scientist. This is worse than when Denise Richards was supposed to be a Nuclear engineer in The World Is Not Enough.
And the Dialogue.....wow.
The special effects.....wow.
The attempted dramatic suspense........wow.
The "horror" that makes Jason X look like The Silence of the Lambs.....wow.
The pointless sex scene that is funnier to watch than puppet sex in Team America.....wow.
Even though I see them for free at work, Since I sat through the whole thing so I could tell you guys all about it...I think it is only fair that you each pay me 10 bucks for stopping you from seeing it. I only take cash, no checks.
I've seen stupid movies before, but it's been awhile since I laughed myself to tears and had to excuse myself because the film was so utterly crappy. Last time this happened to me was Glitter. Don't ask me why I was there, I'll fuking kill you.
This movie fails on so many levels and comes crashing downward in soo many ways....it's like watching someone EMP a heavy WW2 dogfight.
The worst part of the movie is watching Tara Reid act...O..M...F...G. People were shouting "Kill the b!tch" whenever she tried saying the chemical composition of some artifact in that raspey I-Dunno-wtf-I'm-doing-LOLIlikebeersandsexanddrugsLOL voice. She is supposed to be a scientist. This is worse than when Denise Richards was supposed to be a Nuclear engineer in The World Is Not Enough.
And the Dialogue.....wow.
The special effects.....wow.
The attempted dramatic suspense........wow.
The "horror" that makes Jason X look like The Silence of the Lambs.....wow.
The pointless sex scene that is funnier to watch than puppet sex in Team America.....wow.
Even though I see them for free at work, Since I sat through the whole thing so I could tell you guys all about it...I think it is only fair that you each pay me 10 bucks for stopping you from seeing it. I only take cash, no checks.
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