The Starship Eternaty : The Next Mission

[Kilham]

Science officer's log Stardare Z80-4
Well it's been a busy couple of days and not much time to update the log. We landed the flyer and have hidden it in a forest using holoprojectors. Should be OK if nobody walks into it.
We replicated suitable clothing and some money and have set up a base in the closest city. First thing we did was buy some local newspapers, we need to know what's happening here to keep our cover intact, but i was amused to see a report of a 'flying saucer' landing nearby.

I've interfaced my new portable computer to the worldwide 'network' ha ha - with some difficulty. The new 10Tb subspace link wasn't much use and i had to build an optical interface to connect it at an unbelievable 56Kb.
They still use electrons to carry data, this is incredibly primitive! It's lucky that in a few years from this time they will make contact with aliens who will share some of their technology.
Anyway, after searching this network, we found Cascade had been working for a company called Micro$oft. Their database was very strange, and seemed to be almost all bug reports and code patches. They haven't even learned how to write a simple bug-free operating system yet!.

We're about to visit them to find Cas. Our chief engineer has gone shopping to find a few things that aren't available in our time. I said anything he wants to get is OK as long as he doesn't bring any whales back.

 

[WiLD2]

Starlod: 2583746.696

The crew has been very sleepy lately, they have appeared to be "drugged" or something and have experienced a large amount of euphoria. I think this may be a side effect of eating pokemon meat. I don't eat my own cooking, I prefer to replicate pizza, but if my steak is what's making the crew feel so good, then I may have to start eating my own cooking. Either that, or stop the pokemon steak thing and start replicating pizza for the crew to get them off this "drug".

Supple mental I: I think the captain would want to get the crew off the pokemon steak and onto regular old replicated food. I'll throw away all the pokemon meat right away.

Supple Mental II: Beerbaron is a great bartender. I've made him manager of the bar room, while I run the kitchen in the back. He's drawn quite a crowd of people with his 1337 bartending moves, just like in an old movie I watched once, "Cocktail." I just wish we had more holoprojectors to have more women here.

 

[8-4-7-2]

Captain's log Stardate 45645545.445

Doc Merlin wasn't to happy about the walking. As if I have time to care about that. The fate of hundreds of people lies in my incapable hands. So I bitched him to keep walking.
We are now roaming the insanley mad work halls of Mircosoft. In the credits of this crappy OS they work one we found Admiral Cascade's name. But still no sign of him. Moment...no I have an ingenious idea: we could use the tricorders to scan for Lorg implant frequences.
Why didn't I think of that earlier?

However when I studied I found something interesting. There is a computer game here called Unreal Tournament. It has a really crappy graphic engine. An artificial 3D environment on a 2D screen. How primitive. But the point is that his has a unbelievable similarity to the holo deathmatch we all love! Despite the crappy graphics I can't stop to play it.

Set phasers to frag - out -

 

[Syri]

First Officer's Log, Stardate : 3573

Had a wild party last night, bridge is a bit of a mess though, and one of the consoles got smashed.
Somehow, beerbaron ended up in the brig...
anyway, i released him, as no-one could remember him commiting any crime.

 

[Cap'n Beeb]

Starlog: Where the fuck am I? What happened? Is this my blood?

Question: Just how the hell did I get in the brig? I didnt do anything!!! Oh well, back to my bar 0wning skillz.

 

[Kilham]

Science officer's log: Stardate Z80-4-Supple_mental

I believe we may have located Admiral Cascade but i can't get 8472's attention. THe signal appears to be moving out of the building, and we will lose contact very soon but 8 is obsessed by a program on one of these primitive computers. He tries to carry a blue flag around a simulated 3d map but drops it after a couple of seconds and has to start again. He's been doing this for hours now, i'm surprised our fake ID's and disguises have remained undetected for this long but..........
In desperation i unplugged some cables from the back of the machine.

'Nooooooo i was nearly back to base with it......'
'Where am I?'

 

[Merlin|BuF]

Doc's Log
Stardate: Who the f*ck cares

Our captian decided that walking off some of this fat I have worked hard for over the years would be a good idea. We have been walking all freakin day and I think my feet fell off an hour ago. Of course our captian decided that he needed to sit at a primitive terminal and play a game for hours on end while making the rest of us stand and watch finnaly killham pulled some cords and informed our easil distracted by shiny things captian that the admrils siggnal was moving away from us and would soon fade then we would have to find him all over again.

At that point he decided to kill us with more walking leading me to belive he is the evil President George Bush's (started wars with just about every single country in the world) decendent. anyway we walked and walked and finnaly the admirals signal stoped and didn't move we came tot he building where he stoped and decided to go find him and deepershade.

We rode a primitive hyperlift up to the floor the admiral was on and knocked on his door finding Deepershade unconcious on the floor I rushed to him and did some scans and found out the llittle bugger was just faking it. No one being in need of my service I found something to sit on and promptly fell asleep so I have no idea what went on but when I woke up we were going back to the flyer and the captian relived of command wass playing that stupid game on a portable unit called supposedly a laptop.

well I geuss that sums it up we are on our way back to the flyer but this time we don't have to walk we are taking a primitive vehicle called a bus.

 

[Syri]

First Officer's Log, Stardate : 2351899994.666

huh? what happened? I just woke up, and it seems almost a month has passed! this must be investigated!

 

[WiLD2]

Starlog: 55060743.969

There is a rumor going around that the ship entered a time-fold and we've been all been "asleep" for the past month. I investigated around the kitchen area where I was before I fell "asleep" and found a note that said "I sexx0red you up", whatever that means. Could it be that an alien race took advantage of us in our lifeless forms while we were not here? Another thing, my legs feel funny when I walk.

 

[8-4-7-2]

Captain's log Stardate 1 month after my last entry

Something weird is going on here. The clocks show that at least one month past since we last made logs. Last thing I remember was playing this kickass computer game. Then my dumb crew decided it was more important to save our missing crew man than playing that. Right when I was about to make the most important cap the screen went black. Kilham stood smiling besides tossing some cables. What a llama. If we make it back there will be a court martial, I swear! That's munity! I'm the Captain! Noone can tell me when to do anything (Except Admiral Cascade maybe)

However we took a lift to one of the upper floor, found the Admiral - who programmed blue screens of death into on archaic piece of software - and an unconscious DeeperShade sleeping under his desk.

We took both with us, and left the building. Doc Merlin already gave me dangerous looks for all the walking. So I though we could take one if this combustion engine powered vehicels called bus back. Despite the lethal level of carbon monoxide and other gases produced, and the bad confort it is still better than walking.

btw, I took one of those computers and a copy of the game with me before we left.

 

[Syri]

First Officer's Log, Stardate : 233866573652358796736525347656

While most of the crew were sleeping last night, the ship got pulled through some sort of temporal vortex! I've tried analysing the star data, but..
hold on
*pause log*

*resume log*
We are in the same time as captain 8-4-7-2 and the rest of the away team! I'm picking up a signal from them, and it's not being sent through time! I've replied, and set a course for earth. we'll just have to figure out how to get the eternaty back once we've picked up the others!

 

[Syri]

First Officer's Log, Stardate : 1999

We are now in orbit of the Palnet Earth, i'm attempting to establish contact with the away team, but our comms aray is damaged. i'm trying to patch through a signal using primative radio waves

 

[Merlin|BuF]

Doc's Log
Stardate:*hic*ummm uhhh*hic*hhhh

Well it seems that the eternity got pulled back in time with the rest of us we got a "Radio" message from them telling us they were orbiting the earth. Killham flew us and the flyer up to the ship were we docked had a joyus reunion and got pissed while the captian played the primitive earth game some more


Doc out

 

[Diving Mullah]

My COM. system is down and I am stuck in the sonic shower with this young ensign! We were (mostly me) Saluting each other when the communication system went down!!!

Where is all this water coming from???/

 

[CaSCaDe]

Admiral CaSCaDe's log Stardate: the day after the last one that has been passing

w00t!!! we have been rescued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finaly my 0ld crew has been able to get t this time fram and get out out of this friggin mess!!!!!

i could stand the slow connects and comps much more!

now i am back on llambda flyer on our way to meet up with the eternaty in our 0wn times frame, but WTF??????

is that the eternaty???????

we wherent suppost to be back in our time yet.....
the temporal rift wont be open for an other day...

how the fuck is this possible????????????????

this need in vestegation...

OH NOT! not more wierd thingss showwing up on sensor......

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE EXPLOSION ON THE THE OUT SIDE OF THE SHIP!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!

*rizmans voice* SOME ONE SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*kilhams voice* WE GET SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!

MAIN SCREEN TURN ON!!!

ITS YOU!!!!!!

*computer voice* how are you gentleman

*computer voice* All your base are belong to us!

*computer voice* you are on the way to destruction

WHAT YOU SAY??????????

*computer voice* there is no change to survieve, make your time!

*computer voice* hahaha........

*kilhams voice* ADMIRAL!!!!!!!

take out all 'zig'

you know what you do!!!!

move 'zig'

for great justice.......

-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.................

 

[WiLD2]

Starlog: 55060744.969

It appears that after we had all entered the time rift our metabolisms had sped up. Suddenly I have gained an immense knowledge in the arts of the greasy burger. While flippin through old history books it appears that what I now know how to cook is McDonalds. With this new-found knowledge I can finally call the restaurante a first class restaurante. Everyone seems to agree, so far, no body can seem to stay away from the place for long. We serve alcohol here, still, as you can see by looking at Beerbaron over there. Give him a few hours and he'll wake up.

 

[8-4-7-2]

Captain's log Stardate we are in a temporal anomaly so screw it

We are finally back to the Eternaty. Admiral Cascade is happy to have escaped that babaric time. Deepshade seems to suffer from posttraumatic stress. The unconciousness could be a protection from the ordeal. But I'm Captain no counselor. So I sent him to sickbay with Doc Merlin.
We were not too late for the next trouble. The Eternaty is under attack from unknown entities.
Our crew beamed the whole flyer on board and I took command back from D-Stroya who has been an excellent replacement captain.
The strangers are spamming us with stuff like "All your base are belong to us". What kind of sh*t is that?! I don't find that funny.
"All men the battle stations. Tactical: Ready torpedoes and phaser. Lock on target. Fire on my command. Attack pattern Sigma-Omega-3559.56. Conn: prepare evasive maneuvers, pattern Alpha-Blabla. All hands brace for impact. FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"

Supplemental
The bar is running fine. Beerbaron is constantly drunk. At least he won't bugger me this way.
As soon as this is over I will play my game again and leave the command to D-Stroya again. He can call me if we are 10 seconds before a warpcore breach. But the doctor is already giving me strange looks.

 

[Merlin|BuF]

Doc's Log
Stardate: Sometime before this **!)_(U$(_*& headache goes away

Deepershade is still unconcius and Beerbaron is going to need a new liver soon but I'm the one with the killer headache.......geuss I was wrong about drinking "Just enough" last night.......OUCH!.......Move my head too quick there.

Deepershade should survive but he won't ever be normal again (Funny how he never seemed normal before maybe when he wakes up he WILL be normal) but right now he needs sleep and a little relaxation so I've turned off all the lights (for his benifit and mine) and turn off the ships com ( again for both of us it seems the captian likes broadcasting his primitive computer games over the shipwide com) hopefully I won't have to find Beerbaron a new liver soon or at least until we get back to our time...

BTW Wild is making the best burgers but it seems that these burgers are known for clogging arteries so I geuss I should warn everyone about the health implications there.......nah they'll live I hope.

 

[Kilham]

Science officer's log: Stardate 6800-1

Just when we thought it was over and we could go home to our own time, things go wrong again.
After successfully completing our rescue mission we cleared old Earth's orbit and immediately discovered the Eternaty had travelled back here, and was under attack.
We were transported aboard by our replacement captain, as he realized the Lambda flyer would have no chance to survive if left outside.
Only by using our new secret weapon, the 'Zero Inverse Graviton' torpedoes were we able to destroy the attackers. Now that we are once again safe I have been able to piece together what happened.
Seems that a cloaked Lorg ship was spying on our time-travel experiments and after analyzing our journey back using the Lambda flyer they were able to duplicate it, but creating a much larger hole for their Volvo-like ship to pass through, pulling the Eternaty with them.
Luckily they discovered their mistake and tried to destroy us first, or they might have quietly slipped through and landed on Earth. The damage they could have caused to our history is frightening, but at least they are destroyed now.
Hmm is it just me or is it getting warmer in here?. Where's the maintenance department when you need them.

 

[WiLD2]

Starlog: 212134789047.969

I went to see whom I thought was the doctor... I'm confused. It looks like the rest of the crew is confused as well. Am I captain of the m0tard? Is that p0kemon the captain of the Starship Eternaty? In making an educated guess I would say we are suffering from a severe case of confusion. Maybe someone should call the crew together for a meeting to get things straightened out? I don't know!!!