Could you put UTcompass on your server ? I know you guys don't think having the teammates displayed on hud is realistic, but you can always set it so that the names only appear when a message is sent, or you can even disable teammates display alltogether. The reason i'm asking this is that the last utcompass (v0.9) has a new command feature that enables you to send a private message to the player your looking at, and i use this command quite a lot.
http://forums.beyondunreal.com/showthread.php?t=141650
http://forums.beyondunreal.com/showthread.php?t=141650