Riiiinnnnngggg! demanded the phone on Taskmaster's desk. Taskmaster scrambled to pause the Journey MP3 he was listening to on WinAmp, as he debugged through another bug.
Riiiinnnnngggg! sounded the phone again as he removed his headphones and grabbed the phone's reciever.
"This is Taskmaster, may I help you?" he asked...
"Well, well!" said the sinister voice on the other end, "So we meet at last Taskmaster!"
"Uh, but this isn't really meeting, it's more like just tal--" started Taskmaster.
"SILENCE!" shouted the voice. "You're constant inane chatter is tiring! That is precisely why I have taken it upon myself to silence the 'voice of reason' once and for all!" Taskmaster winced at the evil laugh that echoed on the phone.
"I have booby-trapped your phone so that it will EXPLODE violently if you remove it from your ear!" boasted the disembodied voice!
"H-h-h-how do I know you are telling the truth?" inquired Taskmaster as he wiped the newly forming beads of sweat from his forehead.
"Just move the phone away from your ear and see! HAHAHAHA" teased the voice. Taskmaster resisted the urge to hang up. He swallowed hard.
"Look at the cord leading from the reciever to the phone." instructed the man at the opposite end of the phone. "See those extra wires taped down with tan tape?"
Taskmaster noticed for the first time that the phone cord did indeed have wires cleverly taped over the existing tan wire. He used one hand to peel back some of the tape exposing four colored wires, one red, one green, one yellow and one black.
"I-I-I bet the red wire is the power." worried Taskmaster over the phone.
"No the red wire is for --- " began the voice, "Ahh, very clever Taskmaster... I almost fell for that! It is of no matter, as you will soon be a bloody stain on the walls of your cubicle!" Again the evil laugh on the other end.
"Why are you doing this?" asked Taskmaster trying to gather his wits. He glanced around at the three others occupying his cluster of cubicles. He quickly scribbled a note that read "Phone Bomb! Clear the area!" and passed it to them.
"Why? WHY?" screamed the voice in disbelief, "Because you know the secret of FoX and I can't have you exposing it!"
"But I'm not going to tell anyone... honest!" reasoned Taskmaster.
"You won't be able to tell, when I'm finished with you!" threatened the caller. "And don't try anything funny! The phone has a mercury switch so if the phone is moved suddenly it will explode immediately!"
Taskmaster's grip on the phone was slipping due to the sweat. He momentarily changed hands, taking great care to keep the phone pressed to his ear, and wiped his hands on his slacks. He switched hands back cautiously.
"But I'm not the only one who knows about FoX..." he explained. Taskmaster tried not to move his head very much as he glanced askance at his desk drawer and slid it slowly open. He pulled out a tube of liquid glue.
"I mean, I'm not really into UT anymore..." he claimed, "I'm playing, uh, that, um, Age of Empires II game now."
Taking his time Taskmaster applied a liberal amount of super glue to the area of his ear and the phone reciever.
"Too little, too late!" snorted the voice.
Taskmaster held his breath and slowly released his hold on the receiver. The glue held the phone firmly to his ear, but the weight of the phone began to immediately pull at the flesh causing his ear to throb and ache.
Taskmaster made small talk, alternating between begging and pleading, as he slowly unscrewed the two computer case screws from his desktop computer.
"What was that noise?" demanded the caller, having heard the faint scrape of metal as the computer case was removed.
"I was just trying to get comfortable in my chair -- my shoulder is killing me from holding this phone." replied Taskmaster.
"Don't worry!" mocked his nemesis, "In a minute, it won't be your shoulder killing you, it will be ME! Mwuahahahaha!"
Taskmaster bent the lightweight computer case into a "U" using his legs. He slowly began lifting the U-shaped casing up to his ear and the phone hoping to prevent the blast from killing him outright.
"What's going on!" asked Taskmaster's boss as he suddenly appeared from around the corner.
Taskmaster spun out of instinct at the unexpected interruption. The phone exploded loudly with an incredibly forceful blast. The force of the blast thrust Taskmaster's grey matter out the other side of his head all over his boss. The concussion from the blast knocked his boss backwards.
Portions of blood and guts splattered on the circuit boards of the now open computer causing it to short circuit. Thick white smoke and sparks rose from the beige box as a small fire erupted. The remains of Taskmaster's body slumped forward onto the keyboard tray.
"You're fired!" barked his boss at the headless stump of a body, as he surveyed the bloody mess, the ruined computer, the stained carpets, and his ruined, imported silk tie.
"Beep - beep - beep"
"And hang up the freaking PHONE!"
I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!
