The Official BuF Off Topic "Name a horrible death for spam creators" thread
- Thread starter Ice
- Start date
-
Two Factor Authentication is now available on BeyondUnreal Forums. To configure it, visit your Profile and look for the "Two Step Verification" option on the left side. We can send codes via email (may be slower) or you can set up any TOTP Authenticator app on your phone (Authy, Google Authenticator, etc) to deliver codes. It is highly recommended that you configure this to keep your account safe.
fauker
Louqe
- Jun 27, 2001
- 2,340
- 0
- 0
- 40
Horrible death for spammers.....
being sat on (yes, on teh face! muwahahahahaha!) by a sumo wrestler, preferabbly the biggest one we can find. His tiny skull will either be crushed by the weight or he will suffer a painful and scary death by suffocation from under the massive ass
being sat on (yes, on teh face! muwahahahahaha!) by a sumo wrestler, preferabbly the biggest one we can find. His tiny skull will either be crushed by the weight or he will suffer a painful and scary death by suffocation from under the massive ass
El Diablo said:Horrible death for spammers.....
being sat on (yes, on teh face! muwahahahahaha!) by a sumo wrestler, preferabbly the biggest one we can find. His tiny skull will either be crushed by the weight or he will suffer a painful and scary death by suffocation from under the massive ass
he needs to be a really sweaty sumo restler too
i would like to handcuff them to something in a room full of millions of misquitos and fleas and ticks
then after a few days of that i'd take them and dip them in a vat of chocolate, then hog tie them and throw them in to a pit full of fire ants, and just leave them there till theres nothing left but bones
My personal favourite is somewhat reliant on them being male, but it's still fairly gruesome.
Take their testicles and put them in a vice, before filing off the tightening handle thingummywhotsit. Give them a piece of paper and then leave. The spammer is then faced with a choice of sawing off their own goolies with a piece of paper (and we all know how much paper cuts hurt) or slowly starving to death.
Take their testicles and put them in a vice, before filing off the tightening handle thingummywhotsit. Give them a piece of paper and then leave. The spammer is then faced with a choice of sawing off their own goolies with a piece of paper (and we all know how much paper cuts hurt) or slowly starving to death.
Myrmidion said:My personal favourite is somewhat reliant on them being male, but it's still fairly gruesome.
Take their testicles and put them in a vice, before filing off the tightening handle thingummywhotsit. Give them a piece of paper and then leave. The spammer is then faced with a choice of sawing off their own goolies with a piece of paper (and we all know how much paper cuts hurt) or slowly starving to death.
or they could pass out, fall over and just rip em off like that one drunk golfer who got his balls stuck in the ball washer
Put him in a room with a funny looking tape recorder. Tell him it's a geiger counter. Record a tape of fake dramatically increasing Geiger clicks and warning beeps.
Increase the heat inside the room. You won't even need to irradiate the room, he'll go insane well before the tape is done playing.
Increase the heat inside the room. You won't even need to irradiate the room, he'll go insane well before the tape is done playing.
Fill him with anhistetic, then cut him, on the throat the wrists, everywhere! then put some dirt on the cuts, then wait till he wakes up and watch him go crazy with fear as his various cuts become infected.
>
>
Gir has the right idea.
Impressive :tup:
Let's begin. To start, strip him and put him in a bare room with a plain concrete floor. Make sure the room is very brightly lit. Make him use is cell as a toilet. Play a looped tape of a nursery rythme into the room, with the last line of the rythme missing. Don't let him sleep at all (sparing use of an electric baton is ideal, for the best results run it down his spine, he'll instantly loose control of his bodily functions). After 3 days, only let him sleep until he repeats "I am Janet Reno" for an hour. After a week of this, he'll start to believe that he is Janet Reno.
After this point, stop giving him water. Make sure the only food you give him is heavily laced with salt. Eventually he'll beg for water. At this point give him a large jug of water. He'll be so desperate he'll try to drink it at once. As he'll be highly dehydrated, he'll vomit immidiatly, thus exagerating his dehydration. While doing this also keep up the sleep deprivation/Janet Reno routine.
He'll be dead from dehyrdation in days, believing himself to be Janet Reno.
Source - Maxim Magazine. They ran a "How To" article on how to torture your boss without leaving marks, I just mixed a few of the techniques together. Amazing what you can learn eh?
Gir said:
Impressive :tup:
Let's begin. To start, strip him and put him in a bare room with a plain concrete floor. Make sure the room is very brightly lit. Make him use is cell as a toilet. Play a looped tape of a nursery rythme into the room, with the last line of the rythme missing. Don't let him sleep at all (sparing use of an electric baton is ideal, for the best results run it down his spine, he'll instantly loose control of his bodily functions). After 3 days, only let him sleep until he repeats "I am Janet Reno" for an hour. After a week of this, he'll start to believe that he is Janet Reno.
After this point, stop giving him water. Make sure the only food you give him is heavily laced with salt. Eventually he'll beg for water. At this point give him a large jug of water. He'll be so desperate he'll try to drink it at once. As he'll be highly dehydrated, he'll vomit immidiatly, thus exagerating his dehydration. While doing this also keep up the sleep deprivation/Janet Reno routine.
He'll be dead from dehyrdation in days, believing himself to be Janet Reno.
Source - Maxim Magazine. They ran a "How To" article on how to torture your boss without leaving marks, I just mixed a few of the techniques together. Amazing what you can learn eh?
Last edited:
AI said:i would like to handcuff them to something in a room full of millions of misquitos and fleas and ticks
then after a few days of that i'd take them and dip them in a vat of chocolate, then hog tie them and throw them in to a pit full of fire ants, and just leave them there till theres nothing left but bones
Best torture yet!!
I can't stand spammers in an online game.
I just wish their computer could blow up the minute they hit the key for yet another "ha ha ha" spam message...
Or a retarded line they've added to their so called 1337 user.ini
I just wish their computer could blow up the minute they hit the key for yet another "ha ha ha" spam message...
Or a retarded line they've added to their so called 1337 user.ini
a little modification diablo, not a sumo wrestler but an actor.El Diablo said:Horrible death for spammers.....
being sat on (yes, on teh face! muwahahahahaha!) by a sumo wrestler, preferabbly the biggest one we can find. His tiny skull will either be crushed by the weight or he will suffer a painful and scary death by suffocation from under the massive ass
A certain actor.
And if you're thinking at the same wave I am, you'll know who.
"Fat Bastard" from "The spy who shagged me"
predator_321_go said:a little modification diablo, not a sumo wrestler but an actor.
A certain actor.
And if you're thinking at the same wave I am, you'll know who.
"Fat Bastard" from "The spy who shagged me"
Damn.. I was thinking Anna Nicole Smith.
NeoNite said:I can't stand spammers in an online game.
I just wish their computer could blow up the minute they hit the key for yet another "ha ha ha" spam message...
Or a retarded line they've added to their so called 1337 user.ini
I think you mis-understood the type of spam they're talking about.
I love Myrmidion's one, though really you didn't even need to explain the torture, just the first line was enough. And also, you forgot to mention the paper that they use to saw off their doo-dah should be printed out spam (heh, I swear I came up with that one independantly from DJ