I know I know....off topic but hilarious!!!
>>
>> How to Shower Like a Woman:
>>
>> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
>> to lights & darks.
>> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
>> along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
>> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
>> that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
>> 4. Get in the shower. Look for face cloth, armcloth, legcloth, long
>> loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
>> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
>> vitamins.
>> 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
>> vitamins.
>> 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
>> with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
>> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes
>> until red raw.
>> 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash.
>> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. This takes at least fifteen minutes as
>> you must make sure it has all come off.
>> 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
>> get it waxed instead.
>> 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you loose the
>> water pressure.
>> 13. Turn off shower.
>> 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
>> Tilex.
>> 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African
>> Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
>> 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
>> nails/tweezers if found.
>> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>> 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas
>> and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
>> 19. Drying and fixing the hair will take another hour.
>>
>>
>> How to Shower Like a Man:
>>
>> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
>> in a pile.
>> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along way, shake
>> wiener at her making "woo-woo" sound.
>> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
>> if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror,
>> scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
>> 4. Get in the shower.
>> 5. Don't bother to look for the wash cloth (you don't use one).
>> 6. Wash your face.
>> 7. Wash your armpits.
>> 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
>> 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
>> 10. Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
>> 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
>> 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>> 13. Pull back shower curtains and look at yourself in the mirror.
>> 14. Pee (in shower).
>> 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
>> floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole
>> time.
>> 16. Partially dry off.
>> 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles and admire wiener size
>> again.
>> 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet mat on the floor.
>> 19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
>> 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
>> your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah Baby" and
>> thrust
>> your pelvis at her.
>> 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
------------------
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
>>
>> How to Shower Like a Woman:
>>
>> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
>> to lights & darks.
>> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
>> along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
>> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so
>> that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
>> 4. Get in the shower. Look for face cloth, armcloth, legcloth, long
>> loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
>> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
>> vitamins.
>> 6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added
>> vitamins.
>> 7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced
>> with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
>> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes
>> until red raw.
>> 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash.
>> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair. This takes at least fifteen minutes as
>> you must make sure it has all come off.
>> 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
>> get it waxed instead.
>> 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you loose the
>> water pressure.
>> 13. Turn off shower.
>> 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
>> Tilex.
>> 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African
>> Country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
>> 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with
>> nails/tweezers if found.
>> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>> 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas
>> and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
>> 19. Drying and fixing the hair will take another hour.
>>
>>
>> How to Shower Like a Man:
>>
>> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
>> in a pile.
>> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along way, shake
>> wiener at her making "woo-woo" sound.
>> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
>> if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror,
>> scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff.
>> 4. Get in the shower.
>> 5. Don't bother to look for the wash cloth (you don't use one).
>> 6. Wash your face.
>> 7. Wash your armpits.
>> 8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
>> 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.
>> 10. Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
>> 11. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
>> 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>> 13. Pull back shower curtains and look at yourself in the mirror.
>> 14. Pee (in shower).
>> 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
>> floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole
>> time.
>> 16. Partially dry off.
>> 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles and admire wiener size
>> again.
>> 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet mat on the floor.
>> 19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
>> 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
>> your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah Baby" and
>> thrust
>> your pelvis at her.
>> 21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
------------------
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
