Starcrash:
I honestly don't know where to begin with this "movie", but let me say that I had tons of fun watching it. Mainly because NONE of it made any sense! Nothing did! It was so ridiculous! Everything looked as if it had bathed in the wicked mind of some lsd addicted hippy? So many bright colours. Those stars, green..blue.. purple..red...the design of those spacehips.. trippy as hell.
And it felt as if this movie had been written by a couple of ten year olds. Whenever someone ran into an obstacle, or came close to getting killed... something really weird happened to overcome their trouble. A superpower, a ehm.. ehmm...robot..guy..protecting a chick's heartrate.. simply by holding her hand.. while the temperature on an icy planet plummeted to several thousands of degrees (haha).
Eh, ehmm, like I said, nothing made sense.
I was nearly in tears, laughing so hard when the emperor's soldiers invaded the eh... count's (?) ehm.. spacestation? That hand thing.The emperor's soldiers bust in through the glass windows in some sort of bullet shaped errr..I don't know? Metal cigars? Pods? Anyway, they approach the count's spacestation on full speed (by no means of any propulsion) crash through the window and fall down. There's no suction, outside there is no vacuum. Apparently there's an atmosphere in space, equal to the one we have here on earth ? Or isn't there? But it must be equally pressurized because nobody gets sucked out through the borked glass window and .. no I mustn't try make any sense because my brain will melt...
So much for respecting the laws of nature. But silly me, it's the future. Anything is possabal in the future becuz peopelz haev tecnolgoly and superpowars that maeks spaes behaev diffrantly becuz the can lol! Take that evil count! Bam! Die! No, here's my ultimate wepon of doomz! No! Here's my floating city that will destroy ur spaec station! It's the only way!...
As I said, written by a ten year old. Or some mentally retarded lsd hippies.
Shit acting again, but not as obnoxious as in "metamorphosis". Laughable, but fun. The hoff plays the part of some prince.. and eh.. he does stuff.
There's also plenty of ideas ripped from other sci-fi movies (thinking of the blatant lightsaber rip)
What really dissapointed me was the amazones scene. Plenty of scantilly clad women, AND NO LESBIAN SCENE????!!! I MEAN REALLY.. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF???
Well, that's a another point deducted!
I think they also ripped some scenes from an oddyseus movie from the 50s. The one with the giant statue f.e.
They also reuse countless of shots. F.e. a fighter leaving the big spaceship's hangar bay. They probably used one shot in particular at least... 7-8 in a row iirc. But it wasn't obvious at all. no sir.
The robot guy was the comic relief of this movie. Or was it the entire movie? The robot guy failed at being the comic relief, and at the same time he was.
Strange, bad movie. But so bad it's funny. Extreme fun in some regards.
4/10. Added a point for fun factor.