NewsUnrealEdFilesModsFragBULiandri Archives
BeyondUnreal Forums

Go Back   BeyondUnreal Forums > BeyondUnreal > Off Topic

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 5th Aug 2012, 12:48 PM   #1
Luv_Studd
Registered User
 
Luv_Studd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug. 17th, 1999
Location: VT
Posts: 797
What if Jesus was gay?

Seems like we'd have much less bickering going on ...
Luv_Studd is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 01:16 PM   #2
Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
 
Firefly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb. 20th, 2000
Location: Bucks, England - Nowhere near Europe
Posts: 4,846
What if Jesus ever existed?
Firefly is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 01:21 PM   #3
DarkED
The Great Oppression
 
DarkED's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 19th, 2006
Location: Right behind you.
Posts: 3,051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Firefly View Post
What if Jesus ever existed?
You were probably trying to make a joke, but the idea that Jesus did exist has more or less been accepted as fact by the majority of scholars and historians. Chances are very good that he did actually exist.

Whether or not he was the son of a god and able to perform miracles is, of course, an entirely different question.

Last edited by DarkED; 5th Aug 2012 at 01:24 PM.
DarkED is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 01:51 PM   #4
evilgrins
God of Fudge
 
evilgrins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep. 9th, 2011
Location: Palo Alto, CA
Posts: 435
Gay? Why would Jesus be gay? I mean all he ever did was travel from town to town with a small group of men that he...

...nevermind.

Would go a long wat to support the Church's claim he never had any children. As a Rabbi, face facts it's what he was, he should've been BIG into the whole "be frutiful and multiply" dealio. Yet not a single little Jesus running around.
evilgrins is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 01:56 PM   #5
Vaskadar
It's time I look back from outer space
 
Vaskadar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb. 12th, 2008
Location: and face the mirror I still have to face
Posts: 2,519
THAR BE CONSPIRACY THEORIES AFOOT!
@historychannel
Vaskadar is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 02:12 PM   #6
shadow_dragon
is ironing his panties!
 
shadow_dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr. 26th, 2000
Location: "The cold neon research lab of your betrayal"
Posts: 4,502
If jesus was gay his story would still be manipulated to suit the agendas of those in power regardless.
Just as it always has been.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evilgrins View Post
Gay? Why would Jesus be gay? I mean all he ever did was travel from town to town with a small group of men that he...

...nevermind.

Would go a long wat to support the Church's claim he never had any children. As a Rabbi, face facts it's what he was, he should've been BIG into the whole "be frutiful and multiply" dealio. Yet not a single little Jesus running around.
Impotency wouldn't have been impossible... though greatly ironic in the omnipotent!
__________________
"There are only two words that can make me laugh uncontrollably and innapropriately in an otherwise innocent sentence: Debugger and Fallacy!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Haarg View Post
what the **** is wrong with you

Last edited by shadow_dragon; 5th Aug 2012 at 02:17 PM.
shadow_dragon is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 02:58 PM   #7
Big-Al
amateur de bière
 
Big-Al's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 14th, 2003
Location: Under a black flag.
Posts: 8,187
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkED View Post
Whether or not he was the son of a god and able to perform miracles is, of course, an entirely different question.
very wise. and the whole point of the believing question.
__________________


I drink moosepiss
Big-Al is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 03:41 PM   #8
Jacks:Revenge
╠╣E╚╚O
 
Jacks:Revenge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 18th, 2006
Location: somewhere; sometime?
Posts: 9,566
Jesus wasn't gay.
but he was a hardcore liberal who despised the rich, gave free health care to the poor, and fathered children out of wedlock.

rednecks just like to ignore that part.
__________________
"Aut inveniam viam aut faciam."
Jacks:Revenge is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 03:41 PM   #9
thewalkingman
ssssssssssss bugger!
 
thewalkingman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov. 12th, 2000
Location: Quahog
Posts: 6,450
Jesus is one of those cephalopods!
__________________

Only IPv6 enabled browsers can see my posts
thewalkingman is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 04:22 PM   #10
Hermskii
www.Hermskii.com
 
Hermskii's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr. 13th, 2003
Location: Houston
Posts: 852
In the movie "Oh God" with George Burns and John Denver, all God wanted John's character to do in the beginning was to get people thinking and talking about God again. Very interesting.



Muhahaha! I once asked (about 3 weeks ago) how to post a video here but my question was removed. While I was looking for something else here a little while back I saw where one guy complained to another about posting links rather than the actual videos and then proceeded to explain how to post youtube videos here. I finally learned how to do it here and I'm thrilled to know how.

Last edited by Hermskii; 5th Aug 2012 at 04:27 PM.
Hermskii is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 04:30 PM   #11
Iron Archer
Holy ****ing King of Trolls
 
Iron Archer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 23rd, 2000
Location: Obamaland
Posts: 2,899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacks:SmirkingRevenge View Post
Jesus wasn't gay.
but he was a hardcore liberal who despised the rich, gave free health care to the poor, and fathered children out of wedlock.

rednecks just like to ignore that part.
riiiight... yeah, the guy who's dad supposedly OWNS the universe isn't rich, don't recall them having "liberals" back then... Free healthcare? Oh you mean magic. No I wouldn't call magic "free healthcare".

Anyways, if Jesus had been gay then all the apostles would have probably been a bunch of chicks and/or drag queens and the communion wafer would be in the shape of a small penis--which consequently would fit right in with the Catholic church's preference for small penis.

I generally care if people want to believe in Jesus or "Sky Daddy" or whatever, but trying to label them as liberal or conservative? That's reaching a bit.
Spoiler Warning! (move mouse over box below to reveal)
Predicting insults from Jacks
__________________
010100110110100101100111011011100110000101110100011101010111001001100101
Iron Archer is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 04:36 PM   #12
Jacks:Revenge
╠╣E╚╚O
 
Jacks:Revenge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 18th, 2006
Location: somewhere; sometime?
Posts: 9,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Archer View Post
riiiight... yeah, the guy who's dad supposedly OWNS the universe isn't rich
"And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

Quote:
Free healthcare? Oh you mean magic. No I wouldn't call magic "free healthcare".
Jesus (supposedly) healed the sick, lame, and blind and never asked for anything in return.
free health care is free.

Quote:
trying to label them as liberal or conservative? That's reaching a bit.
says who?

the supposed words and actions of Jesus place him squarely on the Left.
he shamed and humbled the rich, he wouldn't have hated homosexuals, he would have fed and clothed and sheltered the poor for free, and he wouldn't condemn people for having intimate relations out of wedlock.

sounds like a Pinko-Commie if I ever heard of one.
__________________
"Aut inveniam viam aut faciam."
Jacks:Revenge is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 04:37 PM   #13
Manticore
Official BUF Birthday Spammer
 
Manticore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov. 5th, 2003
Location: Optimum Trajectory-Circus of Values
Posts: 4,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadow_dragon View Post
If jesus was gay his story would still be manipulated to suit the agendas of those in power regardless.
Just as it always has been.
Good answer. Next question................
__________________
Quote:
"If you’re going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
[IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i233/statementofnine/penn-says-shut-the-****-up.gif[/IMG]
Manticore is offline  
Old 5th Aug 2012, 04:44 PM   #14
Zxanphorian
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 
Zxanphorian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul. 1st, 2002
Location: PA USA
Posts: 4,480
Well, the classic definition of liberal is essentially "free thinking," and not the bastardized definition of what a liberal is in contemporary parlance. So, by going by that definition, Jesus was indeed a liberal. He was freely thinking and doing and proclaiming what he wanted to proclaim. It is highly doubtful that he was speaking "God's Word" and if he did the miracles he was reported of doing, but this doesn't discount that he was a significant figure during that time.

Eventually, his deeds caused him his death by the conservatives, in that time the Romans and the local Jews, who's orthodoxy was immensely threatened by the rhetoric and actions of people such as Jesus.
Zxanphorian is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 11:51 AM   #15
anaemic
she touch your penis?
 
anaemic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan. 7th, 2002
Location: london, uk
Posts: 3,156
Well gay or not his dad is definitely a homo, if he's omnipresent that means he's in the assholes of millions of men every day, what a fagle.
__________________
anaemic is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 01:17 PM   #16
TWD
Cute and Cuddly
 
TWD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug. 2nd, 2000
Location: Salt Lake City UT
Posts: 7,426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacks:SmirkingRevenge View Post
Jesus wasn't gay.
but he was a hardcore liberal who despised the rich, gave free health care to the poor, and fathered children out of wedlock.

rednecks just like to ignore that part.
You are wrong on all three accounts. There is no definitive proof he had children, and even if you believe theories that he did there is no evidence that he had them out of wedlock. He did not despise the rich. Look at the story of Zacchaeus. Remember that in Timothy 6:10 it is said that it is the love of money that is the root of all evil not money its self. The story you cite about the rich man simply showed that the man loved his riches more than god. And finally i think it's a bit of a stretch to say that because he healed the sick that he would advocate government healthcare. In fact I believe he always made it clear that it was each man's individual responsibility to care for others. In fact the Bible is largely agnostic about what government should and shouldn't do. Deliver unto Caesar what is Ceasar's, and deliver unto Good what is God's.
__________________
TWD is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 01:42 PM   #17
Wormbo
 
 
Wormbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 4th, 2001
Location: Germany
Posts: 5,777
AFAIK the Bible ignores about 30 years of Jesus' life and the entire story about his birth may be a pure invention as well as it was added much later than the other stuff. He might as well have been married - there's no evidence against it.
__________________
Wormbo's UT/UT2004/UT3 mods | YouTube channel | PlanetJailbreak/JDN | Unreal Wiki | Liandri Archives
Everything you ever wanted to know about replication| UnrealScript security considerations
<elmuerte> you shouldn't do all-nighters, it's a waste of time and effort
<TNSe> nono
<TNSe> its always funny to find code a week later you dont even remember writing
<Pfhoenix> what's worse is when you have a Star Wars moment
<Pfhoenix> "Luke! I am your code!" "No! Impossible! It can't be!"
Wormbo is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 01:55 PM   #18
shadow_dragon
is ironing his panties!
 
shadow_dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr. 26th, 2000
Location: "The cold neon research lab of your betrayal"
Posts: 4,502
I think the only thing Jesus wouldn't like about public healthcare is that it costs anything in the first place...
__________________
"There are only two words that can make me laugh uncontrollably and innapropriately in an otherwise innocent sentence: Debugger and Fallacy!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Haarg View Post
what the **** is wrong with you
shadow_dragon is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 02:16 PM   #19
NeoNite
La douce souffrance...
 
NeoNite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec. 10th, 2000
Posts: 18,729
But.. what if jesus had been a lesbian?
__________________

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
-Ode to Spot, by Data
NeoNite is offline  
Old 6th Aug 2012, 04:10 PM   #20
Jacks:Revenge
╠╣E╚╚O
 
Jacks:Revenge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 18th, 2006
Location: somewhere; sometime?
Posts: 9,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by TWD View Post
In fact I believe he always made it clear that it was each man's individual responsibility to care for others.
well then, Jesus was also a short-sighted moron.
like everyone who believes we don't need universal health care. because that's never going to happen. humans are petty and weak and self-absorbed (at large).

there's a reason why government funds the fire department, police department, and waste removal services (among many, many others). and that's because people are not going to take care of each other if left to their own devices. people aren't going to go out and fight crime or put out fires or collect trash on their own. **** you, I've got mine. that's the attitude of most humans.

health care should be as much a right as food and shelter.
and it should be taken care of as much as the police and fire department would take care of you regardless of whether or not you personally have the cash on hand to pay them for their service.

if the entire world operated under the notion that "it was each man's individual responsibility to care for others" as Jesus supposedly said, the world would be a horrible and terrifying place to live in.
all of this really just serves to show that (once again) The Bible is little more than a bunch of poorly-worded, man-made, farcical nonsense. and I said "The Bible" but this obviously applies to every religion.

also, as Wormbo pointed out the Bible is not an accurate record of the supposed life of Jesus.
there are stories that discuss at length the family of Jesus, but they were considered non-canon by the church and left out of the final cut. much of Jesus' personal life is ignored by the official Bible. at least 15-20 years of his supposed existence is a total mystery.
__________________
"Aut inveniam viam aut faciam."

Last edited by Jacks:Revenge; 6th Aug 2012 at 04:20 PM.
Jacks:Revenge is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
best thread ever, darked hates jokes, god loves each of you whether you like it or not!, labeler enabler, reason is a liberal conspiracy, reason is the enemy of religion, twd casts wingnut on jacks, twd wins by default, you're wrong and you fail to see why, you're wrong but i don't have to tell you why, you're wrong. repent! lol. poor souls.

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:33 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Copyright ©1998 - 2012, BeyondUnreal, Inc.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
Bandwidth provided by AtomicGamer