I agree- running a dedicated server and an actual game will cause you to melt down- much better to just run a standard Multiplayer game if you want to play against other people on your machine. If you have a second, faster PC of at least 300+mhz, with a fast connection (such as cable or DSL), then use IT as the dedicated server. If you're on a LAN, you can have your "game machine" connect to your "dedicated server" via the LAN.
If you have the server set up on a different PC, you can access it by enabling "Web Administration" and setting a admin user name and password. That way, you can administer the server remotely from any PC's browser. Just type in the IP address of the server, along with the admin port number which is 8077 in the browser addrss line (ex:
http://24.26.113.45:8077). After logging in with the Admin UserName and password you entered when setting the server up, you will get a screen that will let you set maps, bots, skill levels, rules etc.
This is the simpliest way I've found to admin. If you need to actually learn the console commands (which I recomend) try starting here:
http://www.planetunreal.com/TheAdminPage/
It's a site dedicated to UT Server information.
Good luck!
[MUTTS]ImagoX