I’ll be 46 this Thursday. Here’s a list of things you people can get for me:
A helicopter so I don’t have to worry about traffic
A life-sized Barney doll
A supermodel’s phone number
A turtle
Retractable pants for my turtle
$1,000,000 in cash. Non-sequential, unmarked bills
Penis enlargement equipment
Underwear that looks good on my head as well as my ass
One bowling shoe, size 12, right side
$73 dollars in pennies
A pardon by the Japanese mafia
A T-shirt that reads: “Stop Staring At Me; I’m Neurotic!”
4 gallons of non-flavored ice cream
A brainwave keyboard so I don’t have to type
Chocolate and nylons
Any type of wild animal
Lard
Pirate clothing
And last but not least, a compass that goes all the way up to 361 degrees
A helicopter so I don’t have to worry about traffic
A life-sized Barney doll
A supermodel’s phone number
A turtle
Retractable pants for my turtle
$1,000,000 in cash. Non-sequential, unmarked bills
Penis enlargement equipment
Underwear that looks good on my head as well as my ass
One bowling shoe, size 12, right side
$73 dollars in pennies
A pardon by the Japanese mafia
A T-shirt that reads: “Stop Staring At Me; I’m Neurotic!”
4 gallons of non-flavored ice cream
A brainwave keyboard so I don’t have to type
Chocolate and nylons
Any type of wild animal
Lard
Pirate clothing
And last but not least, a compass that goes all the way up to 361 degrees