View Full Version : Odes to the weapons of UT

24th Aug 2000, 03:37 PM
I started these off in another thread, but decided to open a new thread for my Odes to weapons. I'll add more and more when I get bored of working. :)

Ode to spooge

Oh spooge oh spooge oh gun full of slime
Together we'll have us a whale of a time
I'll hold the alt-fire, and fill you with snot
and slime up November with one greasy shot.

I grab enemy's flags and run backwards and spam
the pathway behind me with boogers and phlegm.
I laugh as they slip and slide on my trail
Of green gooey guck and they land on their tail.

When Boom let's one fly, "achoo" he will say
which makes me laugh hard, as I re-spawn away.
They try to jump over, the globs on the ground
and end up with gib's, flying around.

Unreal had a suit to protect from the guck
UT doesn't have it, now man don't that suck
'cause when I go shooting those green gobs of goo
I'll end up dying more times than you.

...live by the snot...

ode to the translocater

Translocaters are weapons
the DM'ers don't know
when they play ctf
and don't know where to go

It's a neat little item
to get to and fro
and it's loads of fun nailing
a spawn sniping mO

You left click and right click
as fast as you can
and teletrain through
the flag capping man

It gets you to places
you'd never have thought
like the cliffs up in Lava
with one IH shot

when you telefrag someone
and they think it's lame
well you just seek them out
do it again and again

It speeds your recovery
getting back your grabbed flag
and it don't work worth sh!t
with the slightest of lag

I love this great weapon
it's a neat little tool
I'll throw it and throw it
translocater you're cool.

ode to the Sniper Rifle

Oh sniper rifle you're misunderstood
thanks to spawn sniping mO's in the Face neighbourhood
While I'm getting spammed by a shock toting ho
just one shot from my hip his head will explode

You're a wonder to carry in an open expanse.
Crossing bridges in Hydro, you give me a chance
while the enema snipers are defending their base
are using you 'gainst me while across them I race.

I don't have to wait for your bullets to hit
and your damage will give opposition a fit
to get 67 health from each body shot
They'll soon be needing a burial plot.

When announcer calls "HEADSHOT" there's no better feel
and the bouncing head graphics have loads of appeal
It's a shame that the spawn spots suck so bad on Face
or you'd soon be a favourite in this here PuF place.

ode to the redeemer

Oh redeemer you are such a weapon of power
your nuclear warhead makes the enema glower
The feeling I get when I hold you in hand
is a rush of great power, I do understand
that to fly you across to an enema base
I wish I could see the looks on their face
as I fly you around and then drop you down
in their laps to hear that m-m-m-m-Monster kill sound.

I'll double tranny jump on your ledge playing face
jump in-primary fire-back out it's a race
to keep from blowing myself up and seeing your light
if I don't there's a flag for my capping delight
In strangelove I ride you like a horse that has wings
redeemer you are one of UT's most wonderful things
except when I have you and am taking a shot
right when Troll walks in front of me and I get blown to snot.

24th Aug 2000, 03:53 PM
Sweet stuff Morety!

24th Aug 2000, 03:55 PM
You rock man! Keep 'em comin'!

24th Aug 2000, 04:12 PM
asmd you are a delight to hold
I get me a feeling of power untold
I time up my alt fire, then primary shoot
the enema's gibs fly, while I smile and wOOt!

I use the primary to help my cappers go fast
I help them along by shooting their ass.
This may cause a problem if I don't hit them right
and they end up in Lava, then they flame me on sight.

I can alt-fire spam a room full of pink balls
and laugh with such glee when the enema falls.
alt then a primary there's a big bloody combo
I'll dance on their giblets to the tune of a mambo.

I take you and shoot you and watch people explode
while I think to myself "Yayyy, I just shock-ho'd"
I enhance you then I can see neat instant giblets
flying through the air, people's bodies in bits.

Oh asmd, you surely do rock
I fear you when in, the hands of a *Rooster*
You're hard to avoid, a pleasure to hold
When you're in my hands, I get quite bold.

Oh shock oh shock oh rifle so sweet
When I have you in my hands
The enema will face defeat.

oh shock oh shock, I love thee.

24th Aug 2000, 04:19 PM
ROFLMAO. Those are great!!! You're the man Morety!!!

24th Aug 2000, 04:23 PM
OK, this is what we need: We got the lyrics, we just need you other talented PuF'ers out there to put them to music, record them, and then post them as MP3's....

Now who will be the their agent and they might need some legal representation too?

24th Aug 2000, 04:48 PM
It's such a shame you're a last resort
On weapon priority lists long or short
I hold down the button and load up a charge
that could blow out a hole in a Koos galleon barge

Your alt fire deflects nasty rockets and shocks
You come in so handy jumping off November's docks
And leaving enema bases on the map that's called Hydro
I load up and jump and I fly out their window.

The Llamas on face, the portals they're campin'
I use you from behind them and they're evenings I dampen.
In DM's they all think you look like a vacuum cleaner
'til I run into them, then they think you are meaner.

You can get me to armour, and to amps and to shields
To die by your hands huge embarrassment yeilds
To frag with you Hammer, it's such a great sight
and the few times it happens, I laugh with delight.

24th Aug 2000, 05:18 PM
Huh? Enema?

Otherwise, very nice http://forums.planetunreal.com/images/icons/icon14.gif

24th Aug 2000, 06:26 PM
Nice....but you have waay too much time on your hands!!! ;)

[MUTTS] Hiteche5
24th Aug 2000, 06:47 PM
Word to the herd Morety...no one can say you ain't devoted...Do you have a job..and if you do do they make you work at all?

24th Aug 2000, 08:18 PM
Enemy, enema, same thing. ;)

24th Aug 2000, 08:28 PM
Oh launcher of rockets, you're a beautiful thing
I love the feel when you're under my wing
I'll lock you and load you and send you a flyin'
and tiptoe with joy through the bodies I'm fryin'.

I'll load up six alt fires, those nasty grenades
send them ahead 'round the corner to frag what awaits
I'll hold down the left while I hold down the right
and send off a bundle of rockets so tight

When chasing a capper, I'll wait for the beep
"Clean up on 6, there's some giblets to sweep!"
While they try to dodge left and they try to dodge right
they just can't escape your rockets of might.

I'll sit dropping rockets, down November's blue tube
and watch a red guy run into them, man what a boob.
You launch cappers home without team damage on
while the enema wonders where the capper has gone.

Oh launcher of rockets, those giblets you make
are a vision of beauty, make no mistake
You're a powerful weapon, you can't deny that
'specially when you make the enema go splat.

25th Aug 2000, 08:28 AM
I wish I had your talents Morety :)
Keep them coming

25th Aug 2000, 10:10 AM
Oh Flack you're a weapon who provides lots of fun
on coret to a newbie or spam-shooting one
Just hold down the button and run up the hall
but they suicide when they are facing a wall.

To get nice and high, and hold the right button down
and send smiley faces all floating around
gives a spammer like me a feeling of might
as hot metal goes flying, a newbie's delight.

You shoot around corners and rock when up close
but it's in narrow hallways that I love you the most
Cause if the other guy has got nowhere to run
your close spamming ways make you my favourite gun.

You come in quite handy grabbing enemy's flags
running backwards while lobbing your smiling grenades
As I run up the hallways you'd best clear the track
'cause I'm spamming away with my beloved flack.

Blatant Bastich
25th Aug 2000, 10:19 AM


Produced by morety
directed by morety
in assoication with m0 studios
a division of irockysobiteme inc.



25th Aug 2000, 10:25 AM
Ode to the MiniGun

This must be my favorite gun,
I love to use when I'm on the run.
It amazing to get those bullets a'flyin
and when the enemy's cornered, he starts cryin.
The secondary has such a rapid fire,
and it just never seems to tire.
frag'em all and yell "I'M ON FIRE"
The circle strafe seems the best attack
much more sporting then a shot in the back
On top of my list of weapons to choose
and with it, I never seem to lose.

25th Aug 2000, 10:41 AM
/me gives a standing ovation!!!

Tho making them into songs, using the music from UT would be real cool.

Keep up the good work!

25th Aug 2000, 10:56 AM
I won a medal *sniff, sniff* :) Thanks.

25th Aug 2000, 11:20 AM
A dispersion pistol is what you used to be
That seems like such a long time ago to me
I no longer wait hours to see what you hit
as I watch the energy go slower than *a tar pit*

But out of the two of you, you are the one
that has proven to be my most favourite gun.
When I pair you up, it's sure lots of fun
as I hold down the alt-fire and off I will run
The two of you sound like a machine gun
as I dodge and I shoot 'til the enema's done.
I can feel like John Wayne, and excuse this pun,
but after my win, I'll ride off in the sun.

your alt-fire seems like a real gangsta's tool
who cares about aim when you're looking this cool.
holding you sideways and shooting some more
who cares if I'll die from a flack spamming whore.

You go back to our roots, of western frontiers
as you helped us to dominate arrows and spears
You don't deal much damage, but at least you look cool.
So for image and coolness, enforcer you rule.

25th Aug 2000, 11:42 AM
Ode to the Pulse Rifle.

Some call you a rifle, some call you a gun
I've loved you since Quake, I forget which one
You are so lean and green
in the right hands, you can be mean
some don't love you as much as I do
they want something else
the rockets, tha flak,
or perhaps the goo
Watching your green
plasma balls make me shiver
and seeing the enemy, they sure do quiver
Your alt-fire plasma shaft is something to fear
and you know what, your really easy to steer
A few swipes with your mighty shaft
and you nearly cut the enemy in half
and so my beautiful green rifle
or shall I call you a gun,
for me, you are the only one

Wolf Blackstar
25th Aug 2000, 12:11 PM
Oh slayer of flag runners, wonderful thing,
you cut down the players with far lower ping.
Though sometimes when lagged you'll shoot me in the back,
and sometimes I'm forced to rely on the Flak,
nothing is better, it's solid as rock,
my best friend of all times, the Rifle of Shock.

You are the reason they say that I camp.
A Monster Kill happens when I use you with amp.
I'll take you with me to the enemy's base;
I'll knock snipers off towers on CTF-Face.
DM, CTF, you're the weapon I use most;
wreaking the slaughter on enemy host.

Vengeance is mine when I heft thee in hand;
Cutting the enemy down where they stand.
You are the team's best friend and morale booster;
and you are what helps me fight against Rooster.
He'll use you against me, it's easy to see;
But shock duels are the most fun for me.

Though the foe leaps from crate to ramp to tower,
they're stopped in mid-air with your awesome power.
Properly used, you will keep our flag safe,
You're deadly when firing combos while I strafe.
How I love to wield thee, to feel thy trigger and stock,
my friend in the battle, my Rifle of Shock.

]LoL (http://home.triad.rr.com/jmayes/lol/)[Wolf|PuF (http://puf.cjb.net)
-]LoL[ Counter-Sniper and Shock-Ho

25th Aug 2000, 01:06 PM
I'll grab you in Niven and I'll spam up the halls
you'll spread out the gibs and tear paint from the walls
you're more fun to use than a can of paint stripper.
This bud's for you, my good friend the ripper.

I used to be able to steer you around,
but now you explode when you hit any ground.
You're great in Caves when they grab up my flag
a blast at their feet, and in lava they bathe.

I spam up a room with blade after blade
come back in a bit to see the soup that I've made
with the enema's gib's, and all of the gore
the kidney's and livers are lining the floor.

I squish as I step through your red aftermath
I slip the I slide in a bloody gore bath
Once in a while there's a thrill that I've got
when I hear the announcer screaming "Headshot!"

One thing you do that makes me laugh out my guts
is when shot after shot hits the enema's nuts
I think the occasion for a new mod has arised
where the announcer will shout out "Circumsized"

I'd love it if legs and arms were to fall off
in the next patch's graphics, man I'd get right off
But ripper I've got to say just one more thing
If I use you much more, I'll be suicide king.

27th Nov 2000, 10:45 AM
You're the love of Troll's life
your bullets cut like a knife
When I'm on the giving end you're lots of fun.

When your bullets, I'm receiving
I respawn quick, not believing
how quickly you cut me down, oh mini gun.

Your secondary fire I'll abuse
But primary has little use
I love how quick the shields disappear

When fools try running away
their backsides I will spray
and it takes no time 'til their deathcry I hear.

But one can't beat the time,
a joyous feeling sublime
when I've got you coupled up with an amp.

I'll sit and I'll spin
spamming all who're within
range, and with blood the floors become damp.

27th Nov 2000, 11:25 AM
oh, once again:

"Too much Time Productions present:"

27th Nov 2000, 01:13 PM
Man I really love your work Morety....
I have printed them all out.
Cool odes dude really!!!
Big up.

28th Nov 2000, 06:03 AM

28th Nov 2000, 06:37 AM
Hey it's hard to sing these lyrics...
I got some fatty beats for the flak cannon and the shock rifle though and a wicked guitar riff for the translocator...but singing these are hard! And there's no real chorus..maybe if you reorganize em a little bit so there's a nice lyrical setup i could make these MP3's!
If i get millions of dollars i'll share it with all my favorite PuF'ers! (which right now include all of you, nobody has really pissed me off yet)

28th Nov 2000, 01:30 PM
Is that a promise?

Be my Pimp!!

29th Nov 2000, 02:44 AM
LOL. Those rock :D

PuF - Where the creative people hang.

Like, hang out, not hang.....oh never mind. Carry on. :)

29th Nov 2000, 07:01 AM
Very nice :)

now my turn on the shock :

Ode to the Shock-Rifle, by Finsternis
received from a higher power (boredom) at work.

You're shine's as blue as just heaven could be
my rifle of shock, I truly love thee
Your primary streaks out with infinite range
and many report victim's faces looked strange
as the bright ball of death
got near to their place
and with a smile on my face
I created a mess.

29th Nov 2000, 10:11 AM
Morety, You the man! more more more!!!!!!!: D

29th Nov 2000, 10:29 AM
amazing... brilliant... utterly moving... *applause applause*

you know, this is a first for me and all other ut'ers im sure;

i never thought i'd hear myself say this, but i think you really do have too much time on your hands, now quit wasting time writing these bloody brilliant ode's and get back to fraggind god-damnit!!!

(but make sure the mp3's are released before you do ;-) )

maybe i'll think about writing one for assault and/or frigate... maybe bridge too.... oh well, enough jabbering, i better start writing

happy writing.... errrrr, fragging!!!

29th Nov 2000, 03:37 PM
Start writing these poems as if they were songs and i'll make em MP3's, i don't wanna change things around cause than it would be all my work, and work sucks, so don't make me change the words around!

29th Nov 2000, 04:06 PM
Okay, you sound pretty serious that you'll put something on tape. Since you put it that way, here's some choruses for the flak/shock/translocater.

Without knowing the beat/timing etc, I'll show how I'd arrange them if I were laying down the tracks.

7 verses total,
2 then chorus, 2 then chorus, 1 then solo, 2 then chorus and end.

Well I throw you up
and I throw you around
if I throw you too high I go splat on the ground

5 verses total,
2 then chorus, 2 then chorus, 1 then solo fading to end

You're my friend in the halls
and in an open space
you knock people off
of the ledge in face
I'm a shock ho
A combo blast explodin' shock ho.

4 verses total,
1 then chorus, 1 then chorus, 1 then chorus, solo, 1 then chorus and end.

with a flakball here
and a flakball there
here a leg, there an arm
everywhere devastating harm
^--too much like "Old McDonald"? :D

14th Jun 2001, 11:31 PM
...I just have to bump this topic up.

Quite interesting.

Never thought I would find someone more devoted to UT.

15th Jun 2001, 12:15 AM
lol, oh it gets worse...check these out...

Minigun Song (http://members.home.net/emoreton/minigun.mp3)

The Spooge Gun Song (http://members.home.net/emoreton/spooge.mp3)

Sniper Rifle Song (http://members.home.net/lmoreton/Tunes/Sniper_Rifle.mp3)

The Impact Hammer Song (http://members.home.net/cemoreton/ihsong1.mp3) <---with TinMan doing harmonica. He emailed me the files from Sweden :) A bit mellower than the previous ones

15th Jun 2001, 09:44 AM
:D guess he wasnt kidding huh love the songs an the odes you guys r great rotflmfao

15th Jun 2001, 12:07 PM
Hey M0rety. Why don't you post the link to your tunes???
The Minigun Tune FREAKING ROCKS!!!

16th Jun 2001, 12:33 AM
lmao Perigrine. Look two posts up :)

Thanks bro.

16th Jun 2001, 04:54 AM
Bravo! All i can say is: Bravo!

17th Jun 2001, 01:32 AM
I just finished off the rocket launcher song today...well, kind of...

I dcc'ed it to MrSmallberries who's going to do some keyboards for it. I was hoping to get it to TinMan for some harmonica too, but I haven't seen him yet this weekend.

17th Jun 2001, 02:20 AM
Jezuz, you're all sooooo sick! 'you here me? SICK!


PS. Loved the ode & songs tho. :rolleyes:

18th Jun 2001, 09:50 AM

Listen to Morety's Tunes!
(I hope someone at Epic heard 'em, M0!)

18th Jun 2001, 09:54 AM
Shouldn't the minigun song be on CliffyB's ownage or something?

Where should I post it to make him listen to it and praise me for having no life? ;)

18th Jun 2001, 10:12 AM
I just emailed a link of this thread to CliffyB. Asked him if they've heard any of your tunes.

:D :cool:

18th Jun 2001, 10:16 AM
lmao! That's too funny!

2nd Sep 2001, 01:54 AM


Terminal {DTH}
2nd Sep 2001, 03:02 AM
YES!! :D
moredy, i LOVE your ode's to siper rifle, spooge (had me LMAO particularly) , ASMD, and RL. Geat stuff!

And Blackstar, your ode to the shock rifle is masturful as well. ;)

Geat stuff guys, kinda makes me wish (a little) that i still wrote poetry. (ild given it up years ago)