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What if Jesus was gay?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Luv_Studd, Aug 5, 2012.

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  1. Luv_Studd

    Luv_Studd Member

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    Seems like we'd have much less bickering going on ...:(
     
  2. Firefly

    Firefly United Kingdom is not a country.

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    What if Jesus ever existed?
     
  3. DarkED

    DarkED The Great Oppression

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    You were probably trying to make a joke, but the idea that Jesus did exist has more or less been accepted as fact by the majority of scholars and historians. Chances are very good that he did actually exist.

    Whether or not he was the son of a god and able to perform miracles is, of course, an entirely different question.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2012
  4. evilgrins

    evilgrins God of Fudge

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    Gay? Why would Jesus be gay? I mean all he ever did was travel from town to town with a small group of men that he...

    ...nevermind.

    Would go a long wat to support the Church's claim he never had any children. As a Rabbi, face facts it's what he was, he should've been BIG into the whole "be frutiful and multiply" dealio. Yet not a single little Jesus running around.
     
  5. Vaskadar

    Vaskadar It's time I look back from outer space

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    THAR BE CONSPIRACY THEORIES AFOOT!
    @historychannel
     
  6. shadow_dragon

    shadow_dragon is ironing his panties!

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    If jesus was gay his story would still be manipulated to suit the agendas of those in power regardless.
    Just as it always has been. :)

    Impotency wouldn't have been impossible... though greatly ironic in the omnipotent!
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2012
  7. Big-Al

    Big-Al amateur de bière

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    very wise. and the whole point of the believing question.
     
  8. Jacks:Revenge

    Jacks:Revenge ╠╣E╚╚O

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    Jesus wasn't gay.
    but he was a hardcore liberal who despised the rich, gave free health care to the poor, and fathered children out of wedlock.

    rednecks just like to ignore that part.
     
  9. thewalkingman

    thewalkingman ssssssssssss bugger!

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    Jesus is one of those cephalopods!
     
  10. Hermskii

    Hermskii www.Hermskii.com

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    In the movie "Oh God" with George Burns and John Denver, all God wanted John's character to do in the beginning was to get people thinking and talking about God again. Very interesting.

    [M]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tTU00m5MB0[/M]

    Muhahaha! I once asked (about 3 weeks ago) how to post a video here but my question was removed. While I was looking for something else here a little while back I saw where one guy complained to another about posting links rather than the actual videos and then proceeded to explain how to post youtube videos here. I finally learned how to do it here and I'm thrilled to know how.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2012
  11. Iron Archer

    Iron Archer Holy ****ing King of Trolls

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    riiiight... yeah, the guy who's dad supposedly OWNS the universe isn't rich, don't recall them having "liberals" back then... Free healthcare? Oh you mean magic. No I wouldn't call magic "free healthcare".

    Anyways, if Jesus had been gay then all the apostles would have probably been a bunch of chicks and/or drag queens and the communion wafer would be in the shape of a small penis--which consequently would fit right in with the Catholic church's preference for small penis.

    I generally care if people want to believe in Jesus or "Sky Daddy" or whatever, but trying to label them as liberal or conservative? That's reaching a bit.
    Predicting insults from Jacks
     
  12. Jacks:Revenge

    Jacks:Revenge ╠╣E╚╚O

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    "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

    Jesus (supposedly) healed the sick, lame, and blind and never asked for anything in return.
    free health care is free.

    says who?

    the supposed words and actions of Jesus place him squarely on the Left.
    he shamed and humbled the rich, he wouldn't have hated homosexuals, he would have fed and clothed and sheltered the poor for free, and he wouldn't condemn people for having intimate relations out of wedlock.

    sounds like a Pinko-Commie if I ever heard of one.
     
  13. Manticore

    Manticore Official BUF Birthday Spammer

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    Good answer. Next question................
     
  14. Zxanphorian

    Zxanphorian ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    Well, the classic definition of liberal is essentially "free thinking," and not the bastardized definition of what a liberal is in contemporary parlance. So, by going by that definition, Jesus was indeed a liberal. He was freely thinking and doing and proclaiming what he wanted to proclaim. It is highly doubtful that he was speaking "God's Word" and if he did the miracles he was reported of doing, but this doesn't discount that he was a significant figure during that time.

    Eventually, his deeds caused him his death by the conservatives, in that time the Romans and the local Jews, who's orthodoxy was immensely threatened by the rhetoric and actions of people such as Jesus.
     
  15. anaemic

    anaemic she touch your penis?

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    Well gay or not his dad is definitely a homo, if he's omnipresent that means he's in the assholes of millions of men every day, what a fagle.
     
  16. TWD

    TWD Cute and Cuddly

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    You are wrong on all three accounts. There is no definitive proof he had children, and even if you believe theories that he did there is no evidence that he had them out of wedlock. He did not despise the rich. Look at the story of Zacchaeus. Remember that in Timothy 6:10 it is said that it is the love of money that is the root of all evil not money its self. The story you cite about the rich man simply showed that the man loved his riches more than god. And finally i think it's a bit of a stretch to say that because he healed the sick that he would advocate government healthcare. In fact I believe he always made it clear that it was each man's individual responsibility to care for others. In fact the Bible is largely agnostic about what government should and shouldn't do. Deliver unto Caesar what is Ceasar's, and deliver unto Good what is God's.
     
  17. Wormbo

    Wormbo Administrator Staff Member

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    AFAIK the Bible ignores about 30 years of Jesus' life and the entire story about his birth may be a pure invention as well as it was added much later than the other stuff. He might as well have been married - there's no evidence against it.
     
  18. shadow_dragon

    shadow_dragon is ironing his panties!

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    I think the only thing Jesus wouldn't like about public healthcare is that it costs anything in the first place...
     
  19. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    But.. what if jesus had been a lesbian?
     
  20. Jacks:Revenge

    Jacks:Revenge ╠╣E╚╚O

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    well then, Jesus was also a short-sighted moron.
    like everyone who believes we don't need universal health care. because that's never going to happen. humans are petty and weak and self-absorbed (at large).

    there's a reason why government funds the fire department, police department, and waste removal services (among many, many others). and that's because people are not going to take care of each other if left to their own devices. people aren't going to go out and fight crime or put out fires or collect trash on their own. fuck you, I've got mine. that's the attitude of most humans.

    health care should be as much a right as food and shelter.
    and it should be taken care of as much as the police and fire department would take care of you regardless of whether or not you personally have the cash on hand to pay them for their service.

    if the entire world operated under the notion that "it was each man's individual responsibility to care for others" as Jesus supposedly said, the world would be a horrible and terrifying place to live in.
    all of this really just serves to show that (once again) The Bible is little more than a bunch of poorly-worded, man-made, farcical nonsense. and I said "The Bible" but this obviously applies to every religion.

    also, as Wormbo pointed out the Bible is not an accurate record of the supposed life of Jesus.
    there are stories that discuss at length the family of Jesus, but they were considered non-canon by the church and left out of the final cut. much of Jesus' personal life is ignored by the official Bible. at least 15-20 years of his supposed existence is a total mystery.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2012
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