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We haven't had a topic like this in a while...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Zur, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. Zur

    Zur surrealistic mad cow

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    Keep these coming. There's potential here for some poopscience.
     
  2. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    I believe that the simple sit on the toilet...and "BARK!!!!" you're done, is better than the Virginia Torpedo any day. Sure, you don't finish the sports section, but you're up and at 'em in no time.
     
  3. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Last week I had four days in a row of clean fast poop sessions. Solid chunks dropping from the cranky cavesystem, plunging towards the great beyond with tremendous speeds.

    No need to whipe, although I did just to be on the safe side(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

    The poop session of dreams.
     
  4. Balton

    Balton The Beast of Worship

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    Pooping at work is the best money your employer can spend on you.

    edit: lol, I think that doesn't sound they way I want it to...
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2012
  5. Al

    Al Car'a'carn

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  6. YellowFive

    YellowFive Baconstrips

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    I never, ever poop at work. My fartpipe just shuts down.
     
  7. Vaskadar

    Vaskadar It's time I look back from outer space

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    Yeah, I never shit in public toilets, unless it's an emergency.
     
  8. theabyss

    theabyss No One Here Gets Out Alive

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    Ha, we have actually a real good restroom at work. Always smells good (well, unless someone really shat his soul out) and is really clean. Then we hired some new guys and the whole thing went down the shitter. So I filed a complain with my supervisor and hang some signs up that in "our civilization" we clean up after ourselves and don't leave shit stains all over the toilet, and don't start a bugger collection on the wall. 2 weeks later we were back to normal.
     
  9. [GU]elmur_fud

    [GU]elmur_fud I have balls of Depleted Uranium

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    I don't usually myself, but the other night I really needed to go. It was a very rushed and busy night so I held it in 'till a good pausing spot. At which point it was getting painful so I went for the bathrooms. I got in there and some guy was in a stall very loudly rubbing one out. Normally I would have turned right around and left at such a thing... but by this time I really needed to go. So I put some headphones in and picked a stall farthest from the weirdo... The pressure on my pipes caused what would have been a solid series of logs to break apart into chunks. I had also drank a 1.5 liter of Mountain Dew and was pissing like a fountain. I wanted too get the hell out of there quick... I could here the gas sounds, the splashing, and the water jetting into water over my headphones. When I finished I left.

    Later that night the manager in charge came by my department and told me that earlier that night a customer had went into the bathrooms with a copy of fifty shades of grey and when he left the bathrooms he left the store and called the cops from the parking lot telling them he had just masturbated too the sound of a guy taking a loud dump and didn't want to live anymore. He was gonna drive his car (a Prius... it is still in the parking lot) into oncoming traffic. The cops came and took him to the psych ward at the hospital.

    I am not sure if I should be proud of this achievement.
     
  10. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    I used to dump at work to save money on tp.
     
  11. theabyss

    theabyss No One Here Gets Out Alive

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    LOL

    Back when we were kids and visiting one of those big soccer stadiums my friend and I would go to this row of toilets and there were people waiting in line to take a dump. When it was our turn we would always make those groaning noises followed by a fake "frrrrrp' "brrrrooooop" fart noises and you could hear the guy sitting next to you starting to giggle and trying not to laugh...ahhh...funny times....
     
  12. YellowFive

    YellowFive Baconstrips

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    I've walked into the bathroom at my old job and a guy was standing at the urinal with his pants and underwear pulled all the way down to his ankles.

    Bare ass, standing there to pee. Why? Why? Why?
     
  13. Al

    Al Car'a'carn

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    I only poop at work. It's better than home.
     
  14. [GU]elmur_fud

    [GU]elmur_fud I have balls of Depleted Uranium

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    I learned tonight that the guy had just been released from the same said psych ward having threatened to kill himself already and that he has a history of such behavior. So not an achievement I guess.
     
  15. theabyss

    theabyss No One Here Gets Out Alive

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    Yeah, we had a guy like that back in high school. Poor guy probably thought everyone ought to do that. Well, when the kids in my class discovered it, they told everyone and made fun of him and he started crying. Poor guy - kids can be so mean.
     
  16. Balton

    Balton The Beast of Worship

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    I don't know why either, but I can add to that weird behaviour. My cousin must strip down to the pants only to be able to excrement anything and his shirt must remain outside the bathroom.
     
  17. [GU]elmur_fud

    [GU]elmur_fud I have balls of Depleted Uranium

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    There is a guy on days at work who literally shits and giggles... 300lb+ black man in his 40's, clocks in in the morning then 5-10 minutes later says he has too "go poop" and is gone about 45 min. If you happen to use the restroom during that time you will hear pppppppppttttsss hehehehehehehe pppppppttts plop plop plop hehehehehehe... very strange man.
     
  18. Rambowjo

    Rambowjo Das Protoss

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. Zur

    Zur surrealistic mad cow

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    Ok. Making some progress. Found out that coffee produces superfluid poop. I tend to drink 3-4 cups a day so should probably cut down :p

    That's awful.

    But imagine doing that with noone around while you're near a cliff. Can't get more freedom than that :D
     
  20. xMurphyx

    xMurphyx New Member

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    Bring me that horizon! (so I can pee on it)
     

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