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ughhhh

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by lunchblaze, Oct 25, 2000.

  1. lunchblaze

    lunchblaze Codlike

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    the lady in the office next to me is singing air supply "here i am" very loudly and very poorly.

    i'm contemplating stapling myself to death.



    out.
     
  2. GunnerX

    GunnerX 2345 Posts

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    Here's an even better idea.. Staple HER to death.. ;)
     
  3. Allison

    Allison I need more cowbell!

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    OMG! I think that was me!!!! Come and say hi!
     
  4. (BoD) nepenthe

    (BoD) nepenthe Sayee Lo

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    Ask her politely to shut the fuck up.
     
  5. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    When she starts to sing, fart.

    It'll act much like Pavlov's theory. When she starts singing that song, she'll smell p00p. Unless she has some sort of weird fetish (in which case, ask her out), she'll eventually get a negative response to that song.

    You're welcome. :D
     
  6. lunchblaze

    lunchblaze Codlike

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    Mo,
    that's a great idea.

    only,
    i lack the colon control that you so proudly posess. so "just in time ripping" isn't quite there for me yet.

    i have been doing the sphinctoral strengthening exercises outlined on that pamphlet that you sent me, but it's just not working yet.

    as a side bonus though, i have moved up 3 rungs in the local butt wrestling tournament.


    out.
     
  7. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    Sphinctorial Tutorial

    1) Eat lots of Taco Bell.

    This will make you have to have one long, continuing, everlasting fart. Then, instead of trying to force one out, you are forced to try to hold them in. You can then let them fly at will, assuming you've held them in.

    2) Wear Depends

    You should wear adult incontinence products whenever you eat at Taco Bell in order to save the cleaning bills. Some restaurants hand out Wet-Naps, Taco Bell should hand out Depends.

    This sphinctorial tutorial has been brought to you by: Martha Morety. Stay tuned for when next week, we will bring you "Saving money on the water bill. When, and when not, you need to flush."
     
  8. Boom

    Boom Rumpshaking Moderator

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    I think I've seen that saving water tutorial. I think it can be summed up by this little couplet.

    "If its yellow,
    let it mellow.
    If its brown,
    flush it down."

    Does that sound right Morety?

    Hey Lunchblaze, just sing right back at her. I'm sure we can come up with some equally annoying songs. How about...

    "My Bologna has a first name, it O-S-C-A-R...."

    Or try to sing/scream "Smells like teen spirit" by Nirvana.

    WITH THE LIGHTS OUT!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHHHHHHHHHH!
     
  9. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    lol Boom, great poem! :D

    Start singing "Sha boom sha boom" and it'll drive her nutz too.
     
  10. hal

    hal Dictator Staff Member

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    Or how about Styx's "Come Sail Away" in your best Eric Cartman voice?
     
  11. CHRYSt

    CHRYSt You can't help that. We're all mad here.

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    Do what I do to Blaine somerville...Get on shoutcast.com and play industrial real loud. We have music wars in the mornings. That loud mouthed R&B listening f├╝cker always loses to the musical stylings of Porject Pitchfork.
     
  12. Morety

    Morety The Farterator

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    And if it's white
    you're no longer uptight! :D
     

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