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TOO FUNNY!!! LMAO!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Hendo, Jan 19, 2000.

  1. Hendo

    Hendo New Member

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    Too funny!
     
  2. UpYours

    UpYours New Member

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    The Perfect Day

    > The Perfect Day for Her:


    > 08:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
    > 08:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
    > 08:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants

    > 09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
    > 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
    > 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
    > 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
    > 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
    > 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
    > 15:00 Nap
    > 16:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer

    > 16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
    > 17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
    > 19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
    > 22:00 Hot shower (alone)
    > 22:30 Make love
    > 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
    > 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
    >
    > The Perfect Day for Him:

    > 06:00 Alarm
    > 06:15 Blowjob
    > 06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
    > 07:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
    > 07:30 Limo arrives
    > 07:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
    > 08:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
    > 09:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
    > 09:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
    > 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
    > 12:15 Blowjob
    > 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
    > 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
    > 4:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
    15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless)crew
    16:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
    17:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
    18:45 ****, shower and shave 19:00 Watch
    > CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video
    released and authenticated.
    > 9:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York
    Steak
    > 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
    > 21:30 Sex with three women
    > 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
    > 23:45 Bed (alone)
    > 23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart, dog leaves the room
    > 23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep
    LOL! /~unreal/ubb/html/biggrin.gif
     
  3. Zaccix

    Zaccix Truth, by Banksy

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    LOL!


    [​IMG]
    My night is coloured headache grey. Don't wake me with so much.
     
  4. Lizard Of Oz

    Lizard Of Oz Demented Avenger

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    LOL



    [​IMG]
    "There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
    "Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."


    -Lizard Of Oz -aka- {PuF}Lizard- nguid = 108675
     
  5. a dumb@ss

    a dumb@ss New Member

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    did u know that the longest fart was held for 2 minutes and a half?!?! i bet u didn't hehe
     
  6. Wendy

    Wendy New Member

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    That is all so true!

    Hope we'll be seeing u here more often.

    [​IMG]
    You walk the thin line between glory and despair, soon you shall cross over it.
     
  7. UpYours

    UpYours New Member

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    Well if you're here Wendy...I'll make it a point of checkin more often...
    [​IMG]
     

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