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There's a skaarj in the kitchen

Discussion in 'Original Unreal Tournament' started by NeoNite, Aug 15, 2008.

?

What would you do in such case?? suspense!

Poll closed Oct 23, 2008.
  1. Feed it

    5 vote(s)
    20.8%
  2. Slay it with thy mighty impact hammeren!

    2 vote(s)
    8.3%
  3. Ask him WUD DA HELL He's doing there...

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  4. Bake him a nalicake!

    4 vote(s)
    16.7%
  5. Ask him the recipe for a nalicow burger deluxe?

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  6. Faint

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  7. Maybe he's just looking for your cookbook for champions book...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  8. It's all in your mind! What skaarj? Where???

    2 vote(s)
    8.3%
  9. Hey, who took my freshly baked phobos spacecake?

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. You're probably so drunk, you've chosen the wrong house...

    8 vote(s)
    33.3%
  1. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    There's a skaarj in the kitchen, what am I going to do ?
    Oh oh oh yeah...



    [​IMG]

    (Ok, I made that poll in a hurry.. :p...)
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2008
  2. UBerserker

    UBerserker old EPIC GAMES

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    Is he just small or it's the kitchen that's enormous?
     
  3. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Well, the "skaarj" is set to drawscale 25. So, it's quite big. Maybe I should've used 28 or 30 instead. Perhaps he would've reached the ceiling then.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2008
  4. UBerserker

    UBerserker old EPIC GAMES

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    Hmm... With the Impact Hammer you could turn him into giant scary gibs.
     
  5. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    But I think he wants to learn how to cook. Properly. Where is the master cook when you need him ? Taught by Liandri's finest, skilled like no other. What a finesse, especially with the chainsaw.
     
  6. UBerserker

    UBerserker old EPIC GAMES

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    This guy could be of help.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Now all they need is a pile of fresh tournament failures gibs :)

    (Yeah, you heard right! You lose the match, you end up in the kitchen! Well, one of your cloned bodies does. Nevertheless...)
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2012
  8. zynthetic

    zynthetic robot!

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    Tell him to get back to work. Those dishes aren't going to wash themselves. >:0
     
  9. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Nah, that's already taken care of. I got me one of those "beaten and broken" nali. Purchased at your local Liandri gadgets'n'stuff store.

    Looks like mr. brute is about to slice and dice something really juicy and fat. How can our friend the not so experienced skaarj kitchen warrior be of any assistance?

    [​IMG]

    Brute is somewhat ticked off. "Now why the hell did they give me a chainsaw of this size?"

    It looks like it's up to our clumsy skaarj wannabe cook :/

    The brute is also a bit shy (yeah,lame excuse I know! The map has ****y lighting :p...)
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2012
  10. FieldMedic

    FieldMedic Less good UT Player ever

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  11. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Fitting reply, I suppose!
    Thanks Fieldmedic, that really made me laugh =)

    I'm thinking of turning this thread into a story. People could give suggestions, and I'd pick the craziest/most interesting one...see what happens.
     
  12. MrMaddog

    MrMaddog Flak Monkey

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    Get out my Flak Cannon of course, cause my instinct will kick in from playing all those Unreal games...

    And yes I do keep one in the kitchen! It's great for tenderzing meat. :D
     
  13. Dark Pulse

    Dark Pulse Dolla, Dolla. Holla, Holla.

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    I'd ask him if he found the uber-hidden secret in DM-Peak. :)
     
  14. GreatEmerald

    GreatEmerald Khnumhotep

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    Invite the Head Chef you were talking about ;)
    He's quite in another dimension, RuneScape, near Varrock in the Cooking Guild :D
    [​IMG]
    Despite the name, rarely actually cooks heads. But can do that for a hungry Skaarj.
    Or even better, summon the Culinaromancer! A demented wizard that specializes in food spells!
    [​IMG]
    He will cast a spell or two to prepare things. And will look at you like this.
    [​IMG]
     
  15. UBerserker

    UBerserker old EPIC GAMES

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    I'd take the Redeemer in November to destroy everyone. Free meat.
     
  16. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Hey, who knows. Chef might drop by!

    Unfortunately, mr. smith just came home from his typical Saturday pub/bar marathon...
    And he's quite distressed at the sight of a fat brute and clumsy skaarj, standing over a faulty chainsaw and a smelly piece of cow meat. He shouts...

    WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ???

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2008
  17. GreatEmerald

    GreatEmerald Khnumhotep

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    Woah. How did you DrawScaled a bot? :D Set?
     
  18. SkaarjMaster

    SkaarjMaster enemy of time

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    I like the last option.:)
     
  19. UBerserker

    UBerserker old EPIC GAMES

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    Make peace. If not, you know, you have God's powers and can change their attitudes.
     
  20. NeoNite

    NeoNite Eternal sunshine

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    Bot? How do you mean?
     

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