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Surgery

Discussion in 'Other Stuff' started by QUALTHWAR, Oct 25, 2009.

  1. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    I’m having surgery this Thursday on my shoulder. The doctor said I wore out my shoulder joint from years of furious masturbation. They said I only have a 98.7% chance of surviving the operation, so it’s going to get dicey. After the operation, I’ll be in a sling for 2 weeks then have to wear panties for 4 more weeks. I don’t feel comfortable wearing a sling.
     
  2. Rukee

    Rukee Coffee overclocks the overclocker!!

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    It's been nice knowing you.
     
  3. Twrecks

    Twrecks Spectacularly Lucky

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    Don't come back until you lose the sling.
     

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  4. oosyxxx

    oosyxxx teh3vilspa7ula

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    Yer in luck. My buddy's a shoulder joint masturbation syndrome surgeon. Takes care of 'em all da time. But choo gotta make da comm-oot!
     
  5. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    Surgery in the morning. Evidently, they are going to sew my lower lip to my forehead. At first this made no sense, but when they told me they weren’t giving me any anesthesia, I assumed the lip thing was to muffle the screaming. Good times! BTW, I heard that they were filming Saw X in my operating room.
     
  6. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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    Furious Masturbation Pays Off

    QWALTHWAR, I believe your doctors are wrong about the reasons for your shoulder surgery. Furious masturbation does not cause bad shoulders, it strengthens them.

    Actually, furious masturbation causes vision loss as can be seen by my profile. My opthomalogist told me that I will need to remove my penis for the time that I am wearing my prescription glasses.

    So, my only fun right now is furious nose-picking and waste throwing...until I can remove my glasses.

    At least you have the luxury of wearing panties. They make me chafe.
     
  7. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    yes, i think the biggest bonus here is having a note from my doctor that i need to wear panties.
     
  8. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    hey MONKEY BOY! i think i found your long-lost father

    [​IMG]
     
  9. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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    Ah, there he is!

    Ahhh, he still looks young after all these years. If only he would stop with his smoking habit. I had always told him that if he doesn't stop that he would grow up to look like me one day.
     
  10. TurdDrive

    TurdDrive sam k

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    MONKEY BOY you spelt faeces wrong.,
     
  11. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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  12. TurdDrive

    TurdDrive sam k

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    Lol

    You know you cant quote wiki.
     
  13. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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    Eh??

    Eh??
     
  14. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    If you do decide to start throwing poo, do you at least put on some gloves so you don’t get it all over your hands?
     
  15. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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    Gloves?

    What are "gloves"?
     
  16. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    that's what i thought
     
  17. MONKEY BOY

    MONKEY BOY Don't make me get out of this chair

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    Crazy Man

    Is "Crazy Fu*ker" your real name? I personally like "Captain Andy" myself.
     
  18. QUALTHWAR

    QUALTHWAR Baitshop opening soon.

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    i'm not a real captain, but i do play one in the bedroom.
     
  19. oosyxxx

    oosyxxx teh3vilspa7ula

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    Those are the freaky tales that you tell so well. You don't like his dirty raps? You can go to hell 'cause Qualthwar's on the mic serving cocktales.
     

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