Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones versus Spider-man 2
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I had to vote for Spider Man due to my great hatred for the piles of crap that George Lucas called episodes 1,2 and 3. They both sucked in my view.
I enjoyed Clones infinitely more than Spiderman 2, though the latter was the better film in my opinion. Voted Star Wars.
shadow_dragon
is ironing his panties!
On one hand, Christopher Lee was in the Star Wars movie.... On the other hand Spiderman was a decent movie...
I am more of a star wars nut than spider man, but I had to vote for Spidey 2. Too much lovey dovey crap in Episode 2 made me almost vomit. And before anyone says anything yes Spidey 2 suffers that as well. Also the acting in Episode 2 was kinda poor, and Hayden Christianson didnt hit his mark till the last one for sure.
I kinda liked episode II. Well only the part with the clones fighting the droid army at the end of the movie. The rest of the movie was meh.
i hated spiderman 2 but since there are only 3 star wars films and this "attack of the clones" you speak of isnt one of them it cant win :|
aside from spiderman 2 being a good movie this post is so overly correct! Damn you Lucas!
Let's do an accurate comparison, shall we?
1. Romance
Spidy2:
Peter Parker is still a whiny dork who tries to win the affection of the hot boring girl who is supposed to be one of the more witty female characters from the comics but of course she's watered down in the film version. She's also extremely uninteresting, but of course the plot relies on her character to either cause drama in emo Peter's life or get into a position where she can be captured by the main villain so Spiderman has to rescue her in an elaborate finale where people yell a lot and characters look at each other really seriously. At the end there's a wedding, albeit an interrupted one, and the audience is left not giving a ****.
Star Wars 2:
They trade terrible little kid actor for terrible pretty boy actor as main series protagonist/future antagonist. He falls in love with Natalie Portman, a politician in this movie. It's Star Wars, so you expect a relationship to develop and be funny and heartbreaking like it was in Empire but oh no George Lucas is directing the movie so instead you get a castrated attempt at romance. Boy and girl exchange eye-rolling dialogue and get in awkward situations where they are supposed to *gasp* act. We are led to believe that these well off hot people fresh from the Republic's version of the Hillz have a forbidden love because he's a Jedi and she's..what was it a senator or something? Of course this forbidden love isn't really elaborated on and all we get is that Jedi are supposed to be like Vulcans, i.e. all serious and crap, but whatever. Suddenly at the end they get married.
Winner: Spiderman 2. Spidy has two people who don't seem like they have any reason to like each other and Star Wars has two people who want each other but keep inventing reasons not to go ahead with it. As painful as it is to watch the bumbling lovers in both films go through excruciatingly time consuming filler scenes with empty affection for each other, Spiderman 2 has the advantage of keeping it a lot shorter.
2. Special Effects
Spidy2:
Sam Raimi-esque moments pop up, like a deliciously nostalgic hospital bed moment with Doc Ock that reminds one fondly of Evil Dead and Darkman. However, the swinging web-crawler still looks like a cartoon character. Overall it's not exactly bad but noticable CGI doesn't exactly help make the movie any memorable. And unlike its contender...you can actually tell that the actors walk around in physical places. Unfortunately...there is a surprising lack of action in this movie and every scene that contains fighting is usually very brief.
Star Wars 2:
CGI overload. Everything looks fake, even the ground the characters walk on...and usually it is. Truth be told, the best and longest action scenes of the prequel trilogy do take place, but it's at the expense of the acting and believability...since everyone is against a green screen. Sure there are dozens of lightsaber wielding Jedi fighting troll-like aliens and fast swinging climactic duels galore, but none of them have one tenth the cool factor of say, Luke and Vader duking it out in the belly of Cloud city. Lots of things explode and lots of things get killed and lots of limbs get chopped off, but none of it really effects you because everything looks like a video game that you're not even having the pleasure of playing yourself. It's kind of like you're standing behind the annoying fat kid down the street whose parents buy him all the coolest video games, so you go over his house only because you want to play the cool games your parents won't get you...but the little milky-way eating bastard makes you wait until he plays through Final Fantasy 6. So you sit and watch as he trash talks the tv in between candy bar breaks.
Winner: Spider-Man2. Less is more.
3. The Badguy
Spidy2:
Spiderman 2 has the only badguy in the trilogy who has some balls. Willem Dafoe is a great actor, but Spiderman 1 had him trying too hard to be an evil clown on a flying surf-board. Green Goblin was just a lame villain and like Speed 2, it wasn't one of Dafoe's better bad-guy moments. Spiderman 3 was...well if you've seen it you know. So yeah, we have Doc Ock...who has giant metal tentacles fused into his spine and they make him do things. And he throws building chunks and innocent bystanders at Spiderman, which is pretty cool. Sadly his death scene is pretty weak, but in the Spiderman movies he's probably the best they've had.
Star Wars 2:
Count Duku (spelling?) isn't as spry as Darth Maul, but manages to school both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Do I mention he slices off Darth Bitch's arm? Automatic cool points for that. And even after a bout with an acrobatic Yoda he manages to walk away. Plus his lightsaber handle looks real cool.
Winner: Star Wars. The count just kicks ass harder. In the end, he doesn't cave to his emotions and cop out like Doc. He gets away, making Anakin wipe his tears with a fresh metal hand.
4. The Hot Chick Comparison
Spiderman2:
Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane. You have to wonder if these guys actually read the comics because Dunst's take on the red headed love interest is to make her more annoying and useless than anything. You actually have to wonder why the hell Peter Parker even bothers when he has a perfectly eager chick in the room next door itching to jump his bones. I mean, in three movies...all this chick does is get in dramatic "I think I love/hate him" sequences and eventually captured in the finale so Spiderman has to save her. Geez, buy some ****ing mace bitch.
Star Wars 2: In a movie where the acting stinks worse than Dewback ****, you don't exactly expect much when it comes to the romantic bits...and as covered in segment 1, Episode 2 sucks at it. But when Padme isn't spouting generic soap opera lines of dialogue , she actually does something Mary Jane can't. She fights back in moments of peril. She smacks CGI tiger lizards in the face with chains and fires blasters at battle droids. She's basically tough in all the ways Mary Jane is not. Oh sure, she still gets in her damsel in distress moments, but Jedi don't have time for that crap. They gotta chase the badguy.
Winner: Episode 2
5. The Good guy
Spiderman 2: Peter Parker was always kind of a geek in the comics, but at least when he put on the mask he was a witty smartass that made you smile from page to page. Toby...can't exactly pull this off. When he spins a joke when under the mask, it just sounds cheesy and stupid. Plus, when he screams out loud "Mary Jane!" (and he does it a lot) you want to stick a dirty balled up jock strap in his mouth. Also, why the hell can't this kid keep his freaking mask on in any of these movies? I'm surprised he still had a secret Identity by part 3.
Star Wars 2:
What needs to be said? That little prick from Jingle All The Way was bad enough in Episode 1, but you said to yourselves, "He's just a little kid. George will make it up to us! He'll make it right!" Well campers, no. He did not. He gave us Hayden ****ing Christiansen. This punk single handedly turned the biggest and baddest mother ****er science fiction has ever known and turned him into an Abercromie reject who has less personality than R2 and sounds like he's about to cry whenever he isn't busy crying. When he looks at the camera with those dough eyes (trying to look tough) telling us that he "wants to find my mother" and then proceeds to stare for that extra second of restrained tear-jerking, if you listen hard enough you can hear a rainbow crap a baby. You know you are doing something wrong when people in the audience cheer when the protagonist gets his arm sliced off by a lightsaber and then yell, "Yeah! Kill his bitch ass!" And no, it wasn't just the black people.
Winner, Spiderman 2. Toby's Spiderman isn't as pathetic as he is in the next installment, but compared to Hayden he's the ****ing Fonz.
Overall winner: Spiderman 2.
1. Romance
Spidy2:
Peter Parker is still a whiny dork who tries to win the affection of the hot boring girl who is supposed to be one of the more witty female characters from the comics but of course she's watered down in the film version. She's also extremely uninteresting, but of course the plot relies on her character to either cause drama in emo Peter's life or get into a position where she can be captured by the main villain so Spiderman has to rescue her in an elaborate finale where people yell a lot and characters look at each other really seriously. At the end there's a wedding, albeit an interrupted one, and the audience is left not giving a ****.
Star Wars 2:
They trade terrible little kid actor for terrible pretty boy actor as main series protagonist/future antagonist. He falls in love with Natalie Portman, a politician in this movie. It's Star Wars, so you expect a relationship to develop and be funny and heartbreaking like it was in Empire but oh no George Lucas is directing the movie so instead you get a castrated attempt at romance. Boy and girl exchange eye-rolling dialogue and get in awkward situations where they are supposed to *gasp* act. We are led to believe that these well off hot people fresh from the Republic's version of the Hillz have a forbidden love because he's a Jedi and she's..what was it a senator or something? Of course this forbidden love isn't really elaborated on and all we get is that Jedi are supposed to be like Vulcans, i.e. all serious and crap, but whatever. Suddenly at the end they get married.
Winner: Spiderman 2. Spidy has two people who don't seem like they have any reason to like each other and Star Wars has two people who want each other but keep inventing reasons not to go ahead with it. As painful as it is to watch the bumbling lovers in both films go through excruciatingly time consuming filler scenes with empty affection for each other, Spiderman 2 has the advantage of keeping it a lot shorter.
2. Special Effects
Spidy2:
Sam Raimi-esque moments pop up, like a deliciously nostalgic hospital bed moment with Doc Ock that reminds one fondly of Evil Dead and Darkman. However, the swinging web-crawler still looks like a cartoon character. Overall it's not exactly bad but noticable CGI doesn't exactly help make the movie any memorable. And unlike its contender...you can actually tell that the actors walk around in physical places. Unfortunately...there is a surprising lack of action in this movie and every scene that contains fighting is usually very brief.
Star Wars 2:
CGI overload. Everything looks fake, even the ground the characters walk on...and usually it is. Truth be told, the best and longest action scenes of the prequel trilogy do take place, but it's at the expense of the acting and believability...since everyone is against a green screen. Sure there are dozens of lightsaber wielding Jedi fighting troll-like aliens and fast swinging climactic duels galore, but none of them have one tenth the cool factor of say, Luke and Vader duking it out in the belly of Cloud city. Lots of things explode and lots of things get killed and lots of limbs get chopped off, but none of it really effects you because everything looks like a video game that you're not even having the pleasure of playing yourself. It's kind of like you're standing behind the annoying fat kid down the street whose parents buy him all the coolest video games, so you go over his house only because you want to play the cool games your parents won't get you...but the little milky-way eating bastard makes you wait until he plays through Final Fantasy 6. So you sit and watch as he trash talks the tv in between candy bar breaks.
Winner: Spider-Man2. Less is more.
3. The Badguy
Spidy2:
Spiderman 2 has the only badguy in the trilogy who has some balls. Willem Dafoe is a great actor, but Spiderman 1 had him trying too hard to be an evil clown on a flying surf-board. Green Goblin was just a lame villain and like Speed 2, it wasn't one of Dafoe's better bad-guy moments. Spiderman 3 was...well if you've seen it you know. So yeah, we have Doc Ock...who has giant metal tentacles fused into his spine and they make him do things. And he throws building chunks and innocent bystanders at Spiderman, which is pretty cool. Sadly his death scene is pretty weak, but in the Spiderman movies he's probably the best they've had.
Star Wars 2:
Count Duku (spelling?) isn't as spry as Darth Maul, but manages to school both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Do I mention he slices off Darth Bitch's arm? Automatic cool points for that. And even after a bout with an acrobatic Yoda he manages to walk away. Plus his lightsaber handle looks real cool.
Winner: Star Wars. The count just kicks ass harder. In the end, he doesn't cave to his emotions and cop out like Doc. He gets away, making Anakin wipe his tears with a fresh metal hand.
4. The Hot Chick Comparison
Spiderman2:
Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane. You have to wonder if these guys actually read the comics because Dunst's take on the red headed love interest is to make her more annoying and useless than anything. You actually have to wonder why the hell Peter Parker even bothers when he has a perfectly eager chick in the room next door itching to jump his bones. I mean, in three movies...all this chick does is get in dramatic "I think I love/hate him" sequences and eventually captured in the finale so Spiderman has to save her. Geez, buy some ****ing mace bitch.
Star Wars 2: In a movie where the acting stinks worse than Dewback ****, you don't exactly expect much when it comes to the romantic bits...and as covered in segment 1, Episode 2 sucks at it. But when Padme isn't spouting generic soap opera lines of dialogue , she actually does something Mary Jane can't. She fights back in moments of peril. She smacks CGI tiger lizards in the face with chains and fires blasters at battle droids. She's basically tough in all the ways Mary Jane is not. Oh sure, she still gets in her damsel in distress moments, but Jedi don't have time for that crap. They gotta chase the badguy.
Winner: Episode 2
5. The Good guy
Spiderman 2: Peter Parker was always kind of a geek in the comics, but at least when he put on the mask he was a witty smartass that made you smile from page to page. Toby...can't exactly pull this off. When he spins a joke when under the mask, it just sounds cheesy and stupid. Plus, when he screams out loud "Mary Jane!" (and he does it a lot) you want to stick a dirty balled up jock strap in his mouth. Also, why the hell can't this kid keep his freaking mask on in any of these movies? I'm surprised he still had a secret Identity by part 3.
Star Wars 2:
What needs to be said? That little prick from Jingle All The Way was bad enough in Episode 1, but you said to yourselves, "He's just a little kid. George will make it up to us! He'll make it right!" Well campers, no. He did not. He gave us Hayden ****ing Christiansen. This punk single handedly turned the biggest and baddest mother ****er science fiction has ever known and turned him into an Abercromie reject who has less personality than R2 and sounds like he's about to cry whenever he isn't busy crying. When he looks at the camera with those dough eyes (trying to look tough) telling us that he "wants to find my mother" and then proceeds to stare for that extra second of restrained tear-jerking, if you listen hard enough you can hear a rainbow crap a baby. You know you are doing something wrong when people in the audience cheer when the protagonist gets his arm sliced off by a lightsaber and then yell, "Yeah! Kill his bitch ass!" And no, it wasn't just the black people.
Winner, Spiderman 2. Toby's Spiderman isn't as pathetic as he is in the next installment, but compared to Hayden he's the ****ing Fonz.
Overall winner: Spiderman 2.
I really didn't like Spiderman 2 that much. Doc Oc was pretty cool in it, but the most of the film felt like a really big rehash of the first film. I enjoyed Spiderman 3 a lot more (despite its glaringly obvious faults)
Attack of the Clones wins here for me. Despite being a pretty poor film in general, It was generally less boring than Spiderman 2.
Attack of the Clones wins here for me. Despite being a pretty poor film in general, It was generally less boring than Spiderman 2.
Accurate comparison my arse, that was extremely biased and you even had to make up stories to satisfy your hate.
"Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering."
So you fear Star Wars Episode 2 that makes you angry that leads you to make us suffer reading your unbiased review...
So you fear Star Wars Episode 2 that makes you angry that leads you to make us suffer reading your unbiased review
...