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Resurrection of the L.A. Club

Discussion in 'Unreal Tournament 2003/2004' started by Renegade Retard, Sep 23, 2003.

  1. Renegade Retard

    Renegade Retard Defender of the newbie

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    The Laggers Anonymous (LA) Club is devoted to those UT2k3 fans who play with dialup or other very poor connection. The Club's motto is "I may only have one point, but at least I'm consistent."

    You may qualify for membership if you have ever experienced one or more of the below:

    Got a headshot with the lightning gun....on yourself

    Keep a running tally of all the points you've scored each time you've lost connection while on the same map

    Noticed other players will intentionally not shoot you because they feel sorry for you (thanks Flame ;) )

    You have more negative points than three other players have positive points

    You scream "Woohooo!!!" when you get back above zero points

    You watch a demo of yourself and think "what the heck was I shooting at?"

    You've captured the flag twice, but your score is still zero

    You can shoot the shock secondary and belch while saying your full name before you even see the shock ball

    You notice that, in the FragBu video, all the cool or amazing frags has you as the recipient

    You think people are wussies for complaining about a ping of over 100

    At the end of the match, you look at the score board and see your 1 point, and someone says "Dude, you've really improved!"

    You notice a bunch of your buddies on a server, you try to jump on but have to download a few files, and by the time you're done, all your buddies are gone

    You'd swear that sending data back and forth to the server would be quicker by snail mail

    You cringe when you hear your favorite server is going to be adding new maps (/me glances at Webby ;) )

    You've honestly thought about spending $750 on a microwave antenna so that you can pay $80 a month for only slightly better connection

    You've tried to think of ways to run your modem through you cell phone

    You've lagged off Electric Fields so many times that you can draw the bottom of the map by memory

    You stay away from the rocket launcher, because you know it means an automatic self kill

    You jump up and down with excitement when you nail a shock combo, not because you killed anyone, but because you could actually hit the combo

    You spam the flak at point blank until you run out of ammo, and hit nothing

    You've lost your connection before you can finish typing this





    (and yes, just about everyone one of these is from personal experience)
     
  2. Sir_Brizz

    Sir_Brizz Administrator Staff Member

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    ROFL :lol:

    Sorry I can't join, I just started attending PLA, or Packet Losers Anonymous. :)
     
  3. Ominous

    Ominous Registered User

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    LMAO, very nice post. My wife heard me laughing in the other room I enjoyed your post so much :lol:
     
  4. missPoopShoot

    missPoopShoot voodoo rage

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    :lol: Funniest thread for a while :tup:

    I think I may qualify for membership. Kindly consider me for an evaluation when we next meet in FragBU :D
     
  5. Renegade Retard

    Renegade Retard Defender of the newbie

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    lol, will do ]x[.

    We've lost two members recently (Scumgrief and Raffi), both moved up to broadband.




    (note - the club doesn't really exist, but it's an ongoing joke I have with some of the other dialup-ers. Just wanted to make sure everyone noticed the big ;) with this thread)
     
  6. Hedge

    Hedge Wish I was with her

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    Thanks Ren. I really need this thread. Us dial-up folk need to stick together. Although, I may have to attent that PLA group Brizz was talking about. His connection might as well be dial-up with the amount of times you lag. Ren, I am going to try to make it to FragBU on my dial-up just so that we can laugh at each others misfortunate case.

    Speaking of poor connections, who has the slowest connection here? Right now I am connected at a whopping 26.4kbs.
     
  7. missPoopShoot

    missPoopShoot voodoo rage

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    Oww! I'm connected at 42.6 average. /me is in UK though, which hurts when I try to play on the FragBU server :(

    I had a great game last night though. On a game2xs.com server I met a guy called j1n[FatZ]. Nice guy and very helpful. Taught me a lot about Curse3 (not that I'll need it ;) I never play that map apart from online. Also had a great 1v1 on Antalus. I killed him twice in the short time that was left on the map and he said he was very impressed by my play considering I was 56k. Mind you, I was pinging around 140 (compared to his 60) which is very good for dialup. I love this server, it is perfect for me. NW, good players, low ping.

    At 140 there can be no excuses. I managed to hit him plenty of times with the LG and shock. Trouble was, his map control was so good that he always had shield protection as well.

    Still, great fun!


    IP of game2xs server

    unreal://217.161.41.7:7777
     
  8. Hunter

    Hunter BeyondUnreal Newsie

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    :lol:

    i think i could join :)
     
  9. Renegade Retard

    Renegade Retard Defender of the newbie

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    Ditto.

    Every once in a while I'll connect at 28.8, and I'm like "Ah yeah! Hear comes the pain! Who's your daddy now?!?"
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2003

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